Quotations

Attributed as accurately as possible by Gerald Jones, Ph.D.

with significant help from both print and (hopefully reliable) Web sources.

The primary purpose for this Web posting is to present quotations that are meaningful and thought-provoking.
The secondary, but very important, purpose is to offer along with the quotations the most accurate
credits and attributions to the original authors that I can find.

Comments, questions and corrections are most welcome.

A partial Bibliography of Web and print sources used for verification,
along with contact information for the archivist, is included at the end of the quotations.

---

Jump to Quotes About Quotes
Jump to Author-Sourced Quotes
Jump to Proverbs
Jump to Biblical Quotes
Jump to Miscellaneous Quotes
Jump to List of Sources and Contact Information

click Here to see a listing of unattributed quotes (i.e., no author credited)
click Here to see some quotes from the Author of this Web site

Go to Index by Author and First Lines
Go to Index by Keyword (Subject)

---

---

Quotes about Quotes

Back to Top

---

A book of quotations . . . can never be complete.
     --Robert M. Hamilton
          Preface to Canadian Quotations and Phrases, Literary and Historical.
          Toronto: McClelland and Stewart, 1952

---

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
    variant: I do not speak the minds of others except to speak
    my own mind better.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
          Essais [Essays], 1580, Book I, Chapter 26

---

Quotation (n.): The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced;
even a proverb is no proverb to you till life has illustrated it.
     --John Keats (1795-1821)
          Letter to George and Georgiana Keats (14 February-3 May 1819).
          quoted in Richard Monckton Milnes, Editor. Life, Letters, and Literary
          Remains of John Keats. New York: George P. Putnam, 1848, p.177

---

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
     --Hesketh Pearson [Edward Hesketh Gibbons Pearson](1887-1964)

---

Un bon mot ne prouve rien. [A witty saying proves nothing.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Le dîner du comte de Boulainvilliers [The Dinner of Count de
          Boulainvilliers], 1767, Deuxième Entretien [Second interview]

---

---

Quotes With Authors Identified

Back to Top

---

See one Grand Canyon, you've seen 'em all.
     --Edward Abbey [Edward Paul Abbey](1927-1989)
          The Monkey Wrench Gang. London: Picador, 1982, Chapter 20: Return to
          the Scene of the Crime; spoken by Hayduke

---

Nothing is everything.
     --Abbvie/Digitas Health
          Skyrizi (prescription plaque psoriasis drug) advertisement, 2019
          [note possible double (or more) meanings)
          lyrics to the song posted on the Web:
              Things are gettin' clearer
              Yeah I feel free
              ...to bear my skin, yeah that's all me
              Nothing and me go hand in hand
              Nothing on my skin...
              That's my new plan
              Nothing is Everything
              (instrumental break)
              I see nothing in a different way...
              And it's my moment so I just gotta say...
              Nothing is Everything
              [ https://genius.com/Skyrizi-nothing-is-everything-lyrics ]

---

The master key of knowledge is, indeed, a persistent and frequent
questioning. . . . By doubting we come to examine, and by examining
we reach the truth.
     --Peter Abelard (1079-1142)
          Sic et Non (1120), from the Introduction, as translated in
          Readings in European History, Volume I (1904), edited by
          James Harvey Robinson, p.451

---

Time wounds all heels.
     --Jane Ace (1897-1974)

---

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
     --Lord Acton [John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton](1834-1902)
          Letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, 5 April 1887, published in
          J.N. Figgis and R.V. Laurence. Historical Essays and Studies.
          London: Macmillan, 1907

---

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to
turn numbers into letters with ASCII and we thought it was a typewriter.
Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television.
With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

---

Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. London: Pan Books, 1979
          spoken by Arthur Dent

---

In the beginning I was made. I didn't ask to me made, no one consulted
me or considered my feelings in this matter. I don't think it even occurred
to them that I might have feelings, but if it brought some passing sadistic
pleasure to some mentally benighted humans as they pranced their haphazard
way through life's mournful jungle then so be it.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          Geoffrey Perkins, Editor. The Original Hitchhiker Radio Scripts.
          London: Pan Books, 1985, spoken by Marvin the Paranoid Android

---

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe
that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. London: Pan Books, 1979,
          Chapter 16

---

Life is wasted on the living.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. London: Pan Books, 1980
          spoken by Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth

---

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
     --often attributed to Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

---

That is really amazing. . . . That really is truly amazing.
That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. London: Pan Books, 1979
          spoken by Zaphod Beeblebrox

---

There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning
how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second
part, the missing, that provides the difficulties.
     --Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
          Life, the Universe and Everything. New York: Harmony Books, 1982
          originally sourced in this list as: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

---

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.
     --Henry B. Adams [Henry Brooks Adams](1838-1918)
          The Education of Henry Adams. privately printed, 1907, published
          posthumously, New York: Modern Library, 1918

---

No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are
slippery and thought is viscous.
     --Henry B. Adams [Henry Brooks Adams](1838-1918)
          The Education of Henry Adams. privately printed, 1907, published
          posthumously, New York: Modern Library, 1918

---

Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
     --Henry B. Adams [Henry Brooks Adams](1838-1918)
          quoted in Bert Leston Taylor. The So-Called Human Race.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1922, p.154

---

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.
     --Henry B. Adams [Henry Brooks Adams](1838-1918)

---

The difference with playing the stock market and the horses is that one of
the horses must win.
     --Joey Adams (1911-1999)

---

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are
so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
     --Joey Adams (1911-1999)

---

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for
nothing.
     --Joey Adams (1911-1999)

---

The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere
in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths,
Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in
Christianity. [13 February]
    variant: Mystery is made a convenient cover for absurdity. [13 February]
        Where do we find a precept in the Gospel requiring Ecclesiastical
        Synods? Convocations? Councils? Decrees? Creeds? Confessions? Oaths?
        Subscriptions? and whole cartloads of other trumpery that we find
        religion incumbered [sic] with in these days? [18 February]
     --John Adams (1735-1826)
        Second president of the United States of America
          Diary entries, 13 and 18 February 1756

---

This would be the best of all possible worlds
if there were no religion in it.
     --John Adams (1735-1826)
        Second president of the United States of America
          Lester Jesse Cappon (Editor). The Adams-Jefferson Letters.
          Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1959

---

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
     --Mike Adams

---

If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude
greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home and leave us
in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and
lick the hand that feeds you; and may posterity forget that ye were
our country men.
     --Samuel Adams (1722-1803)

---

It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless
minority keen to set brushfires in people's minds.
     --Samuel Adams (1722-1803)

---

Like a flower in some forest that the world will never see,
I will stand so proud for I know what we can be.
     --Stuart Adamson [William Stuart Adamson](1958-2001)
        "Remembrance Day", from the Big Country album
        The Seer, 2001

---

One should take good care not to grow too wise
for so great a pleasure of life as laughter.
     --Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

---

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
     --George Ade (1866-1944)
          Fables in Slang. Chicago and New York: Herbert S. Stone and Company, 1900, p.133

---

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
     --George Ade (1866-1944)
          Bang! Bang! A Collection of Stories Intended to Recall Memories of the
          Nickel Library Days When Boys Were Supermen and Murder a Fine Art.
          New York: J.H. Sears & Co., 1928

---

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
     --Alfred Adler (1870-1937)
          quoted in Phyliss Bottome. Alfred Adler: Apostle of Freedom.
          London: Faber & Faber, 1939

---

Stripped of ethical rationalizations and philosophical pretensions, a
crime is anything that a group in power chooses to prohibit.
     --Freda Adler (born 1934)

---

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the
money to do it right.
     --Kurt Herbert Adler (1905-1988)

---

All television is children's television.
     --Richard P. Adler (born mid-XXth century)

---

Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us.
     --Roy Adzak (1927-1987)
          quoted in Contemporary Artists, 1977

---

Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

The injury we do and the one we suffer are not weighed in the same scale.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
     --Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)

---

Austerity is simply a form of conformity.
     --Ferrik Aetas

---

The wise man will love; all others will desire.
     --Afranius [Lucius Afranius](I century BCE)

---

Every great scientific truth goes through three stages:
    First, people say it conflicts with the Bible;
    next, they say it has been discovered before;
    lastly, they say they have always believed it!
     --Louis Agassiz [Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz](1807-1873)

---

Even God cannot change the past.
     --Αγαϑων [Agathon](c.448-400 BCE)

---

If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.
     --Spiro Agnew [Spiro Theodore Agnew](1918-1996)
        39th vice president of the United States of America
          quoted in Jet, 25 October 1973, p.9

---

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good,
you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
     --Howard Aiken [Howard Hathaway Aiken](1900-1973)

---

Don't get me wrong, it ain't no disgrace to get old. But darned if it
ain't inconvenient!
     --Jackie 'Moms' Mabley {Loretta Mary Aiken}(1894-1975)
        speaking circa 1940s
          Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley, 2013 HBO special

---

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor's prohibited list.
     --John Aikin (1747-1822)

---

The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal
influence. He inspires self-trust. He guides their eyes
from himself to the spirit that quickens him.
     --Amos Bronson Alcott (1799-1888)

---

The prime object of the school is to awaken the mind
of the child. Many pupils go through the primaries,
through the secondary schools, and possibly through
college, without having their minds awakened, without
having their enthusiasm aroused to the same eager
interest in the school studies that they manifest
in football, for instance. Once the mind is awakened
and guided to explore the knowledge of the world,
the most difficult task of the educator is accomplished.
     --Henry Mills Alden (1836-1919)

---

Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and
his excreta.
     --Brian Aldiss [Brian Wilson Aldiss](born 1925)

---

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society,
one of the politer names of Hell. That is why we dread children, even if
we love them. They show us the state of our decay.
     --Brian Aldiss [Brian Wilson Aldiss](born 1925)
          Billion Year Spree : The True History of Science Fiction
          Garden City NY: Doubleday and Company, 1973;and the revised edition,
          Trillion Year Spree : The History of Science Fiction.
          New York: Atheneum, 1986

---

The dying is easy.
It's the living that defeats us.
     --attributed to Sholom Aleichem [Salomon Naumovich Rabinovich](1859-1916)
          spoken by a poor Jewish worker over his dying father
          in The Shoes of the Fisherman, 1968 film

---

The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.
     --Shana Alexander (1925-2005)

---

The fine and noble way to destroy a foe is not to kill him;
with kindness you may so change him that he shall cease to be so;
then he's slain.
     --Charles Aleyn (1580-1640)

---

A Creed for Young America


I do not choose to be a common man. It is my
right to be uncommon. I seek opportunity to
develop whatever talents God gave me . . . not
security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen,
humbled and dulled by having the state look after
me. I want to take the calculated risk; to dream
and to build; to fail and to succeed. I refuse to
barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges
of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of
fulfillment to the stable calm of utopia. I will not
trade freedom for beneficience nor my dignity for a
handout. I will never cower before any earthly
master nor bend to any threat. It is my heritage to
stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act
myself, enjoy the benefit of my creations, and to
face the world boldly and say, - - - "This, with
God's help, I have done!" All this is what it means
to be an American.
     --Dean Alfange (1897-1989)

---

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
     --Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

---

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho' we are not now that strength
which in old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by the time and fate,
but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
     --Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

---

Never play cards with a man called Doc;
never eat in a place called Mom's; and
never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
     --Nelson Algren (1909-1981)
          A Walk on the Wild Side. New York: Farrar, Straus and Cudahy, 1956

---

I ain't got no quarrel with the Vietcong . . . No Vietcong ever called me
nigger.
     --Muhammad Ali [Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr](born 1942)
        comments on being stripped of boxing title, convicted of a felony for
        refusing to serve during the Vietnam War

---

The hottest places in hell are reserved for whose who, in a period of moral
crisis, maintain their neutrality.
     --Dante Alighieri [Durante degli Alighieri](c.1265-1321)

---

There is no greater sorrow than to recall,
in misery, the time when we were happy.
     --Dante Alighieri [Durante degli Alighieri](c.1265-1321)

---

Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.
     --Saul Alinsky [Saul David Alinsky](1909-1972)
          "Rule #7: Tactics", in Rules for Radicals.
          New York: Random House, 1971, p.127

---

Moderation in all things, including moderation.
     --Chris Allen (born mid-XXth century)
          the author credits this saying to "The Sage of South Temple",
          though there is no further indication to whom he is referring

---

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become
well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
     --Fred Allen (1894-1956)

---

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
     --Fred Allen (1894-1956)

---

Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats,
then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
     --Fred Allen (1894-1956)

---

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who
annoy me.
     --Fred Allen (1894-1957)
          Robert Andrews, Editor. The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations.
          New York: Columbia University Press, 1987/1990, p.99
          [this quote is often attributed to Noël Coward (1899-1973)]

---

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
     --Fred Allen (1894-1957)
          Robert Andrews, Editor. The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations.
          New York: Columbia University Press, 1987/1990, p.99
          [this quote is often attributed to Noël Coward (1899-1973)]

---

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
     --Gracie Allen

---

I have yet to encounter that common myth of weak men,
an insurmountable barrier.
     --James Lane Allen (1849-1925)
        The Choir Invisible. New York: Macmillan, 1921, p.36

---

As I argued in Beloved Son, a book about my son Brian and the
subject of religious communes and cults, one result of proper early
instruction in the methods of rational thought will be to make sudden
mindless conversions -- to anything -- less likely. Brian now realizes
this and has, after eleven years, left the sect he was associated with.
The problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to
a religious philosophy -- and it does not matter whether that philosophy
is generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre and
irrational -- the powers of reason are suprisingly ineffective in
changing the believer's mind.
     --Steve Allen [Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen](1921-2000)
          "The Courage of Conviction", in But Seriously . . .: Steve
          Allen Speaks His Mind. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1996, p.116
          (essay originally appeared in Phillip L. Berman [Editor]. The Courage of
          Conviction. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1985)

---

No philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured
we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful
inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion
as it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the
naïve.


As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be
advised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do us the
same courtesy. They attack us and each other, and whatever their
protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear
that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword.


My own belief in God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not
knowledge. My respect for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems
to have been the most virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth. But even
well-educated Christians are frustated in their thirst for certainty about
the beloved figure of Jesus because of the undeniable ambiguity of the
scriptural record. Such ambiguity is not apparent to children or fanatics,
but every recognized Bible scholar is perfectly aware of it. Some
Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to obscure such reality.
     --Steve Allen [Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen](1921-2000)
          "The Courage of Conviction", in But Seriously . . .: Steve
          Allen Speaks His Mind. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1996, p.114
          (essay originally appeared in Phillip L. Berman [Editor]. The Courage of
          Conviction. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1985)

---

Tragedy plus time equals comedy. variant: Comedy is tragedy plus time.
     --Steve Allen [Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen](1921-2000)
          Interview in Cosmopolitan, February 1957, in which he recounted a
          conversation with a friend, who asked, "Do you mean to tell me that
          the dreadful events of the day are a fit subject for humorous comment?"
          Allen's answer was, "No, but they will be pretty soon."

---

You must make a choice. You must either make the attempt
to love your fellowman, which means manifesting that love
in ways that are recognizable to him, or you must give
up the absurd mockery of calling yourself a follower of Christ.
     --Steve Allen [Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen](1921-2000)
          Mark It and Strike It [his autobiography]. New York: Holt, Rinehart
          and Winston, 1960, p.45

---

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.
     --Tim Allen

---

Death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Without Feathers, "The Early Essays". New York: Random
          House, 1975

---

The difference between sex and death is, with death you can
do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          "Quotations according to Woody Allen", The New York Times,
          1 December 1975

---

Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Annie Hall, 1977 film, spoken by Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

---

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)

---

[He's] a politician. You know the ethics those guys have. It's like
a notch underneath child molester.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Annie Hall, 1977 film, spoken by Alvy Singer (Woody Allen)

---

The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
        commenting on his relationship with his adult stepdaughter (Soon-Yi
        Previn), in 1991

---

I am plagued by doubts. What if everything is an illusion and nothing
exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God
would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name
at a Swiss Bank.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Without Feathers. New York: Random House, 1975

---

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
    extension: I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen;
        I want to live on in my apartment.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          quoted in Eric Lax. On Being Funny: Woody Allen and Comedy.
          New York: Manor Books, 1975; extension is a paraphrase of Allen's
          comment in Rolling Stone, 9 April 1987, printed in the above wording
          in Linda Sunshine, Editor. The Illustrated Woody Allen Reader.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1993

---

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
in my name at a Swiss bank.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935),
          Without Feathers, "Selections from the Allen Notebooks".
          New York: Random House, 1975

---

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to
          Ask), 1972 film

---

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.
The good ones slept better . . . while the bad ones seemed to
enjoy the waking hours much more.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Side Effects. New York: Random House, 1980

---

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Without Feathers, "The Scrolls". New York: Random House, 1975

---

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises
some pretty good questions.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path
leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other to total extinction.
Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          "My Speech to the Graduates", Side Effects (an anthology
          of short stories). New York: Random House, 1975

---

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
variant: Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on
Sunday.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          "My Philosophy", The New Yorker, 27 December 1969, p.25;
          also Chapter 4 of Allen's Getting Even. New York: Random House, 1971

---

Sex between a man and a woman can be a wonderful thing . . .
If you're between the right man and the right woman.
    variant: Love between a man and a woman can be a wonderful
        thing . . . If you're between the right man and the right woman.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)

---

To you I'm an atheist; to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Stardust Memories, 1980 film, spoken by Sandy Bates (Woody Allen)

---

Why does man kill? He kills for food.
And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
     --Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
          Without Feathers, "Selections from the Allen Notebooks".
          New York: Random House, 1975

---

If you don't control your mind, someone else will.
     --John Allston

---

Doing easily what others find difficult is talent;
doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
     --Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881)
          Journal, 1883

---

Order means light and peace, inward liberty and free command
over oneself; order is power. . . . Order is man's greatest need
and his true well-being.
     --Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881)

---

Time and space are fragments of the infinite for the use of finite
creatures.
     --Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881)

---

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as
children.
     --Kingsley Amis (1922-1995)

---

There are three terrible ages of childhood: 1 to 10, 10 to 20,
and 20 to 30.
     --Cleveland Amory (1917-1998)

---

And my heart is sick of being in chains.
     --Tori Amos (born 1963)
          "Crucify", 1992 song

---

Learn how to see. Realise that everything connects to
everything else.
     --ancient wisdom
          this exact quote attributed to Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), with variants
          quoted and used by many others, including German philosopher and dramatist
          Gotthold Ephraim Lessing (1729-1781) in his Hamburgische Dramaturgie
          (1769); it seems related to the central idea of De Rerum Natura of
          Lucretius (I century BCE) that 'Nothing can be created from nothing'
          (NIHIL POSSE CREARI DE NIHILO), an idea first promulgated by Parmenides
          (II century BCE).
          [variants courtesy of quoteinvestigator.com/ ; the connection to Lucretius
          is from my own Latin education]

---

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
     --Joe Ancis (born early-XXth century)

---

And I, the man, stood looking at the tree and at the little green
ones -- whose name I'll not mention, for I shouldn't like to hurt
the feelings of a citizen of the rose tree, a large family with
eggs and youngsters. . . . "Tree lice!", said Mother Fairy
Tale. "You should call things by their right names; if you do not
always dare to do so, you should at least be able to do it in a
fairy tale!"
     --Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
          "De smaa Grønne" ("The Little Green Ones")
          translated by Jean Hersholt (1886-1956). in The Complete Andersen.
          New York: Heritage Press, 1949

---

Eighty percent of our criminals come from unsympathetic homes.
     --Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)

---

So the Emperor went in procession under the rich canopy, and every one
in the streets said, "How incomparable are the Emperor's new clothes!
what a train he has to his mantle! how it fits him!" No one would
let it be perceived that he could see nothing, for that would have
shown that he was not fit for his office, or was very stupid.
No clothes of the Emperor's had ever had such a success as these.


"But he has nothing on!" a little child cried out at last.


"Just hear what that innocent says!" said the father: and
one whispered to another what the child had said.


"But he has nothing on!" said the whole people at length.


    variant; And the crowd was stilled. One elderly man, wondering at
        the sudden silence, turned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he
        had said. Wide-eyed, the Child raised his voice and said once again,
        "Why, the Emperor has no clothes! He is naked!"
     --Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
          "The Emperor's New Clothes", from Tales, as printed in
          Charles W. Eliot, Editor. The Harvard Classics, Volume XVII, Part 3.
          New York: P.F. Collier and Son, 1909-1914;
          variant quoted (unsourced) in James Randi. The Truth About Uri
          Geller. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1982, p.1

---

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
     --Jeremy S. Anderson (born c.1969)

---

Who hasn't felt that urge to cast off all responsibility and strike out
for parts unknown? No grownup can feel it more than the average
red-blooded boy.
     --Nels Anderson (1889-1986)
          The Hobo: The Sociology of the Homeless Man. Chicago: University of
          Chicago Press, 1923

---

Some people see things others cannot, and they are right, and we
call them creative geniuses. Some people see things others cannot,
and they are wrong, and we call them mentally ill.
     --Dr Nancy C. Andreasen [Nancy Coover Andreasen, M.D., Ph.D.](born 1938)
          "Secrets of the Creative Brain ", The Atlantic, July/August 2014, p.75

---

Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be
otherwise.
     --Maya Angelou [Marguerite Ann Johnson](1928-2014)
          I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. New York: Random House, 1969

---

People don't mature. They crystallize at about
fourteen or fifteen, and then they go on and take on
the trappings of maturity. They get their degrees, they
marry, they have the nerve to have children, they honor
their credit cards, they find parking places, and they
call it "maturity". But to be really mature is
to accept, to include as opposed to exclude, to say that nothing
human can be alien.
    variant: It's almost impossible to grow up. Most people just get
        older, and they find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, choose
        personal preferences in drink, have the nerve to get married and have
        children, and they call that growing up. That's not.
        That's getting older. (from an interview by David Frost [born 1939],
        The New Sun [WNET, Channel 13], date unknown)
     --Maya Angelou [Marguerite Ann Johnson](1928-2014)

---

We must meet many defeats,
but we must never be defeated.
     --Maya Angelou [Marguerite Ann Johnson](1928-2014)

---

A bird does not sing because he has an answer.
He sings because he has a song.
     --Joan Walsh Anglund (born 1926)
          A Cup of Sun. New York: Harcourt, Brace & World, 1967, p.15
          often credited as Chinese proverb

---

It is inelegant for conquerors to be late.
     --Edward Anhalt (1914-2000)
          Becket, 1964 film
          spoken by Thomas Becket (Richard Burton)

---

I'm just a lonely boy, lonely and blue.
I'm all alone, with nothing to do.
I've got everything you could think of.
All I want is someone to love.
     --Paul Anka (born 1941)
          "Lonely Boy", 1959, sung by Donny Osmond, among others

---

The biggest detractors of communism and socialism always seem to want to
embrace the worst excesses of both.
     --Anonymous
          Internet user/blogger using the online name Skullhunter

---

Chastity is curable, if detected early.
     --Anonymous

---

Dont lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
     --anonymous
        sequence of four signs along American highways, 1930s-1950s, placed by
        the Burma Shave company for advertising (and sometimes safety advice)

---

Every age has its myths and calls them higher truths.
     --Anonymous

---

Hodie


XV - Choral


No sad thought his soul affright,
Sleep it is that maketh night.
Let no murmur or rude wind
To his slumbers prove unkind
But a quire of angels make
His dreams of heaven
And let him wake
To as many joys as can
In this world befall a man.


Promise fills the sky with light
Stars and angels dance in flight.
Joy of heaven shall now unbind
Chains of evil from mankind.
Love and joy their power shall break
And for a new-born prince's sake.
Never since the world began
Such a light such dark did span.
     --Anonymous
          set to music in 1954 by Ralph Vaughan Williams (1872-1958)

---

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
     --Anonymous
          often attributed to Ken Dodd (born 1927) or Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

---

If you can't do, teach. If you can't teach, teach phys-ed.
     --Anonymous

---

It's always nice to see USA set the edgy standards.
First for freedom, then for the police state.
     --Anonymous
        posted over the usenet name chimera (www.kuro5hin.org/user/uid:5281)

---

A million here, a million there -- pretty soon it begins to add up to real
money.
    variant: A billion here, a billion there -- first thing you know
        it adds up to real money.
     --anonymous
          filler item, New York Times, 10 January 1938; often attributed to
          Everett McKinley Dirksen (1896-1969) (who may have quoted it on the floor
          of the Senate during his tenure), and re-quoted, unsourced, in the
          Congressional Record (Senate) in 1976 and in 2009

---

The most important single thing a person can leave for posterity
is his name.
     --Anonymous
        (it is unclear whether this is an actual saying, or a joke!)

---

Must there be a permanent and necessary divorce
between ethics and æsthetics?
     --Anonymous ["C.G."]
          The Trials of Oscar Wilde, From the Shorthand Reports. Paris:
          Privately Printed ("Issued for Private Circulation only and
          Limited" to 550 numbered copies), 1906; the quotation, which appears
          in the Preface on p.xxiii, is an apparent summary description of questions
          and ideas put forth in Intentions, a collection of essays by Oscar
          Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900), published in
          London (James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co.) and New York (Dodd, Mead and
          Co.) in 1891; in the essay "The Critic as Artist", for example,
          Gilbert and Ernest have a lengthy conversation on this topic;
          this summary question is sometimes attributed as an actual Wilde quote,
          but doesn't seem to appear in any writings.

---

The prosecutor declared that a citizen may snore with immunity
in his own home, "even though he may be in possession of unusual and
exceptional natural ability in that particular field."
     --Anonymous
        "Loud snores in own home ruled 'legal'", Spokane Daily
        Chronicle, 23 August 1948, p.10

---

Some say they want to be a child forever. I want to be myself forever.
     --anonymous
          Starr Ockenga. Dressup: Playacts and Fantasies of Childhood.
          Danbury NH: Addison House, 1978
          "speaker" identified only as "male, 14"

---

Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
     --anonymous
          attributed to Graffiti

---

When A Father Prays (full text)


Build me a son, oh, Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is
weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be
proud and unbending in defeat but humble and gentle in victory.


A son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who
will know that to know himself, is the foundation stone of all true knowledge.


Rear him, I pray, not in the paths of ease and comfort but under the
stress and spur of difficulties and challenges. Here let him learn
to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.


Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high.
A son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men.
One who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep. One who will
reach into the future, yet never forget the past.


And after all these are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of
humor so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too
seriously; a touch of humility, so that he may always remember the
simplicity of true greatness; the open mind of true wisdom;
the meekness of true strength.


Then, I, his father, will dare in the sacred recesses of my own heart
to whisper, "I have not lived in vain".
     --Anonymous
        as published in Anthony Wons, Editor. Tony's Scrap Book: 1932-33 Edition.
        Chicago: Reilly & Lee Company, 1932, p.45
        usually credited to Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) as a prayer
        written for his son, Arthur IV; MacArthur often quoted it in his speeches,
        including a famous one on 12 May 1962, when he addressed the corps of
        cadets at the United States Military Academy at West Point, New York,
        a speech in which he modified the "Prayer" to describe the
        attributes of the ideal soldier
        (keytlaw.com/f-4/general-macarthurs-duty-honor-country-speech/)

---

The world is filled with fools. They blindly follow their
so-called "reason" in the face of the church and
common sense. Any fool can see that the world is flat!
     --Anonymous

---

You know what I really think? I think its tough to be young and its
tough to be old.
     --anonymous
          Starr Ockenga. Dressup: Playacts and Fantasies of Childhood.
          Danbury NH: Addison House, 1978
          "speaker" identified only as "male, 13"

---

I can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but I can sue the
bastard who pushed him off the wall.
     --Anonymous lawyer at a litigation seminar

---

I regret that I only have one life to give for my country.
I'd feel safer if I had two or three.
     --anonymous Navy Pilot

---

Manually managing blocks of memory in C is like juggling bars of soap in a
prison shower: It's all fun and games until you forget about one of them.
     --anonymous Usenet user

---

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do
because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
     --Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)

---

To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction.
     --Minna Antrim [Minna Thomas Antrim](1861-1950)

---

HOMINEM UNIUS LIBRI TIMEO [I fear the man of one book.]
     --St Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)

---

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and
slide on the ice.
     --Diane Arbus [Diane Nemerov](1923-1971)
          quoted in M*A*S*H, TV series, "O.R.", 8 October 1974,
          spoken by Maj. (Dr) Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus)[NOTE: Diane Arbus was
          Allan Arbus's first wife, married 1941 divorced 1969]; also a version of
          the quote was included in Even Stevens,TV series, "Band on the
          Roof", 3 May 2002 spoken by Louis Stevens (Shia La Beouf) [no relation
          to Arbuses!]

---

Once you photograph somebody, they stay with you forever.
    variant: Once you photograph somebody, you're attached to them
    for the rest of your life.
     --Diane Arbus [Diane Nemerov](1923-1971)
          quoted in Bruce Weber's film Chop Suey (2001)
          Arbus was noted for her photographs of "deviant and marginal people
          (dwarfs, giants, transgender people, nudists, circus performers) or of
          people whose normality seems ugly or surreal" (versions of this quote
          about Arbus appear in many Web sites, including
          en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Arbus where its only credit is "See:
          Library of Congress", with no further information)

---

All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies.
     --John Arbuthnot (1667-1735)
        Scottish writer, physician.

---

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
     --Marcel Archard (1899-1974)

---

Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who
understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do
not understand.
    variant: Technology is dominated by those who manage what
    they do not understand.
     --Archibald Putt, Ph.D.
          (pseudonym, probably for W[illiam].D. Rowe [1930-2012])
          Putt's Law and the Successful Technocrat. Smithtown, NY: Exposition
          Press, 1981

---

Religion and kingship are brothers who cannot do without each other,
for religion is the foundation of kingship and kingship is religion's
protector.
     --Ardashir [Ardašir I](180-242 CE)
          Mario Grignaschi, Editor. Will [Testament] of Ardašir, I.
          Journal Asiatique 254, 1966, p.49; English translation quoted in
          Beate Dignas and Engelbert Winter, Editors. Rome and Persia in Late
          Antiquity: Neighbours and Rivals. Cambridge: Cambridge University
          Press, 2007, p.211

---

One Page Principle: A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11
inch paper cannot be understood.
     --Mark Ardis (born mid-XXth century)

---

Love, by its very nature, is unworldly, and it is for this reason rather
than its rarity that it is not only apolitical but anti-political,
perhaps the most powerful of all anti-political human forces.
     --Hannah Arendt [Johanna Arendt](1906-1975)

---

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their
minds to be good or evil.
     --Hannah Arendt [Johanna Arendt](1906-1975)

---

There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous.
     --Hannah Arendt [Johanna Arendt](1906-1975)

---

Arguing with a man who will not produce evidence in support of his position
is like arguing with a vegetable.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

The gods too are fond of a joke.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for
these only gave life, those the art of living well.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

We make war that we may live in peace.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

Wit is cultured insolence.
    variant: Wit is educated insolence.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.
     --Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

It's all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and
then.
     --Richard Armour (1906-1989)

---

That money talks,
I'll not deny,
I heard it once,
It said "Good-bye."


    variants:
        Money talks, but all it says is goodbye.
        Money talks . . . but all mine keeps saying is "goodbye".
        When money talks there are few interruptions.
        Money talks and bullshit walks.
            --heard on FBI surveillance tape in which Michael Myers (born 1943),
                a U.S. Representative from Pennsylvania, was recorded accepting
                a $50,000 bribe; the line was also heard in This is Spinal Tap,
                1984 film, spoken by Bobbi Flekman (Fran Drescher)
     --Richard Armour (1906-1989)
          main quote attributed to Armour in Leslie Alan Dunkling and Adrian Room, Editors.
          The Guinness Book of Money. London: Guinness Publishing, 1990, p.130
          first variant quoted in Martin H. Manser. The Facts on File
          Dictionary of Proverbs, Second Edition. New York: Infobase Publishing,
          2002/2007, p.190

---

I believe that every human being has a finite number of heartbeats
available to him, and I don't intend to waste any of mine running around
doing exercises.
  variant: I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number
      of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running
      up and down a street.
     --Neil Armstrong (1930-2012)
          quoted in Dora Jean Hamblin, "Neil Armstrong refuses to 'waste any
          heartbeats'", Life, 4 July 1969, p.20; later denied by
          Armstrong (with fellow-astronauts Michael Collins and Edwin E. Aldrin) in
          First on the Moon (Boston: Little, Brown, 1970); according to Susan
          Ratcliffe, Editor. Oxford Treasury of Sayings and Quotations.
          Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1997/2011, p.203

---

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
     --Neil Armstrong (1930-2012)
        stepping onto the moon for the first time 20 July 1969

---

Culture is the ability to recognize the best in others.
     --Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

---

What passes for optimism is most often the effect on an intellectual error.
     --Raymond Aron [Raymond-Claude-Ferdinand Aron](1905-1983)
          The Opium of the Intellectuals. London: Secker & Warburg, 1955

---

Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on
silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase
noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation,
meditation . . . tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing,
whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides.
His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation.
     --Jean Arp [Hans Arp](1886-1966)
          Arp on Arp: Poems, Essays, Memories. New York: Viking, 1972, p.231

---

All spiritual paths have four steps: show up, pay attention,
tell the truth, and don't be attached to the results.
     --Angeles Arrien (born 1940)
          quoted by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. (born mid-XXth century), in an interview
          from Bill Moyers. Healing and the Mind. New York: Doubleday,
          1993, p.351

---

There are souls that are incurable and are lost to society. If you
take away from them a means of madness they will invent ten thousand more.
     --Antonin Artaud [Antoine Marie Joseph Artaud](1896-1948)

---

Except for the purpose of washing them, you must not handle your
private parts at all.
     --Arthur Trewby, M.A. (1880-1915)
          Healthy Boyhood. London: privately printed for the author, n.d. [1906]
          italics in source

---

Success [Happiness] is a journey, not a destination.
    -- Ben Sweetland (born mid-XXth century)


The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever
the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
    -- Don Williams Jr (born 1968)


Success is a journey, not an outcome. The doing is often more important
than the outcome.
     --Arthur Robert Ashe Jr (1943-1993)

---

Do you need proof of God? Does one light a torch to see the sun?
     --Asian proverb

---

Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important
to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
     --Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)
          Introduction to James Randi. The Truth About Uri Geller.
          Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1982, p.xv

---

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
troublesome.
     --Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)

---

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny . . ."
     --Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)

---

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
     --Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)
          Foundation. New York: Gnome Press, 1951, spoken by Hober Mallow

---

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently
programmed to work smoothly, it is completely honest.
     --Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)

---

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will
always do it.
     --Les Aspin [Leslie Aspin Jr](1938-1995)
        Member of Congress (Democrat) from Wisconsin's 1st District, 1971-1993

---

Keep always with you, wherever your course may lie,
the company of great thoughts.
     --H.H. Asquith [Herbert Henry Asquith, 1st Earl of Oxford and Asquith, KG, PC, KC](1852-1928)

---

Lord, make me and instrument of Thy peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury -- pardon
Where there is doubt -- faith
Where there is despair -- hope
Where there is darkness -- light
Where there is sadness -- joy


O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
    seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
For it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
     --often attributed to St Francis of Assisi (c.1182-1226)
          first appeared in print (French) in La Clochette, 1912;
          first appearance in English was in the Quaker magazine,
          Friends' Intelligencer (1929), where it was attributed to St Francis
          used in the YMCA Gold Rag study guide

---

The Earth is degenerate in these latter days; there are signs that
the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common;
children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a
book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.
     --Assyrian stone tablet, c.2800 BCE
          %quot;Prophets of Gloom Heard in All Ages Graduates Told",
          The Citizen-Advertiser, Auburn, New York, Monday, 8 June 1936
          an account of the address of Dr Frederick C. Ferry, president of Hamilton
          College in New York State, to the graduates of Wells College.
          Donald Hough also references the quote (with minor differences
          in wording), noting that Dr Ferry transcribed the information verbatim
          from an Assyrian tablet dated from 2800 BCE ("'Good Old Days'? They
          Never Were". The Rotarian, July 1938, p.18

---

Eenie meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
     --George Atkins (born 1929)
        et al. (writers for the series)
          The Bullwinkle Show, TV series, 1961-1964, multiple episodes
          (recurring joke), spoken by Bullwinkle J. Moose

---

Narrator: Fearless Leader here? But I thought we had laws against
    that kind of thing.
Fearless Leader: You fool. Laws only keep out honest people.
Narrator: What . . . What do you mean?
Fearless Leader: If you're a crook, you sneak in anyway.
     --George Atkins (born 1929)
        et al.
          Rocky and his Friends [The Bullwinkle Show], TV series,
          "Pottsylvania Creeper: Parts 3-4", Season 5 Episode 10, 1962

---

In headlines today, the dreaded killfile virus spread across the country
adding aol.com to people's usenet kill files everywhere. The programmer of
the virus still remains anonymous, but has been nominated several times for
a Nobel peace prize.
     --Mark Atkinson

---

I had a strange thought the other day that I feel as though I'm probably a
member of the last generation to truly enjoy freedom of thought, in the
sense that you can't help feeling that within 20 years, someone will have
invented a machine to read your mind. There's absolutely no reason why
that should not be the case [given] the degree and the rate at which
technology advances. Whereas I know that my thoughts are my own, at the
moment, but I cannot believe that many more decades will go by when that
will be the case. And I think that's a horrible thought, I think it's
a frightening, frightening thought. . . . It just puts you in mind of how
fragile and important a thing freedom is, and that sometimes . . . you
have to take a stand against what is deemed to be progress in order to
re-establish human dignity and human freedoms.
     --Rowan Atkinson (born 1955)
          Remember the Secret Policeman's Ball?, 2004 Amnesty International
          documentary

---

The madness of demons is rage -- the madness of angels, hope.
     --A.A. Attanasio (born 1951)
          The Dragon and the Unicorn. London: New English Library, 1995
          spoken by Lailoken

---

History isn't dry, it's sticky; it can get all over your hands.
     --Margaret Atwood [Margaret Eleanor Atwood, CC OOnt FRSC](born 1939)
          The Robber Bride. Toronto: McClelland and Stewart, 1993

---

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but
among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
     --W.H. Auden [Wystan Hugh Auden](1907-1973)

---

Ruffle the perfect manners of the frozen heart,
And once again compel it to be awkward and alive.
     --W.H. Auden [Wystan Hugh Auden](1907-1973)
          "Commentary"/"Night Falls on China" (1939),
          The Collected Poems of W.H. Auden. New York: Random House, 1945

---

To save your world you asked this man to die.
Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
     --W.H. Auden [Wystan Hugh Auden](1907-1973)
          "Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier"
          The Shield of Achilles. London: Faber & Faber, 1955

---

AT EGO . . . MISER IN EXORDIO IPSIUS ADULESCENTIAE ETIAM PETIERAM A TE
CASTITATEM ET DIXERAM DA MIHI CASTITATEM ET CONTINENTIAM SET NOLI MODO
[But I, wretched in the beginning of my youth, sought from You chastity
and said, "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."]
     --St Augustine of Hippo (354-430)
          Confessions 8:7

---

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a pirate.
You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
     --St Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

---

Give to every man, but not every thing.
     --St Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

---

What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I
wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know.
     --St Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

---

The best kind of prize is a surprise.
     --John August [John Meise](born 1970)
          screenwriter, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 2005 film
          spoken by Willy Wonka

---

Do not forget:
A man needs little to lead a happy life.
     --Marcus Aurelius (121-180 CE)

---

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
     --Sextus Aurelius [Sextus Aurelius Victor](c.320-c.390 CE)

---

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of
liking them.
     --Jane Austen (1775-1817)

---

Homosexuality is God's way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren't
burdened with children.
     --Sam Austin

---

Elwood: It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've
got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're
wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
     --Dan Aykroyd (born 1952)
        and John Landis (born 1950)
          The Blues Brothers, 1980 film

---

Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all.
     --Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

---

Our business in life is not to get
ahead of other people, but to get
ahead of ourselves. To break our
own record, to outstrip yesterdays
by todays . . . this is the true
idea -- to get ahead of ourselves.
     --Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858-1901)

---

We ask that you be with us as we work
to establish this new world --
A world of peace,
A world of joy,
A world of giving.
     --Dick Babington (born mid-XXth century)
          prayer, 28 July 1970

---

If things go wrong, don't go with them.
     --Roger Babson (1875-1967)

---

Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.
     --Richard Bach (born 1936)

---

Certainly, in taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy,
but in passing over it he is superior, for it is
a prince's part to pardon.
     --Francis Bacon [Sir Francis Bacon, 1st Viscount St Albans, KC](1561-1626)
        "Of Revenge", Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral, 1597

---

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
     --Francis Bacon [Sir Francis Bacon, 1st Viscount St Albans, KC](1561-1626)
          Apophthegms, 1624, No.24

---

There is superstition in avoiding superstition.
     --Francis Bacon [Sir Francis Bacon, 1st Viscount St Albans, KC](1561-1626)

---

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
     --Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)
          "Shakespeare - The Man" (1853), in R[ichard].H[olt]. Hutton,
          Editor. The Works of Walter Bagehot, Volume 1. Hartford CT: The
          Travelers Insurance Company, 1889, p.302
          [note the double entendre, which probably was not intended
          by Bagehot -- "cannot do" can mean "are
          unable to do", and can also mean "must not do"]

---

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without
temptations.
     --Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)
          Biographical Studies, 1863

---

The reason why so few good books are written is that
so few people who can write know anything.
     --Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)

---

You may talk of the tyranny of Nero and Tiberius; but the real tyranny is
the tyranny of your next-door neighbor.
     --Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)

---

I found this very offensive. And so does my boner.
     --Andrew Bailey
          www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/art/artist-spotlight/2013/09/14/artist-spotlight-sascha-schneider
          comment posted in response to display of painting by Sascha Schneider (1870-1927)

---

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a pipe bomb a rather drastic way of
conducting birth control?
     --Niall Baird
        aka Twodogs, VB Web Solutions Pty Ltd., Melbourne (Australia)

---

Interfere? Of course we should interfere!
Always do what you're best at, that's what I say.
     --Bob Baker [Robert Baker](born 1939)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "Nightmare of Eden", 1979
          spoken by Doctor Who (Tom Baker)

---

There's more than one way to cook a cat.
     --Bob Baker [Robert Baker](born 1939)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "The Two Doctors", 1985
          spoken by the Sixth Doctor (Colin Baker)
              variants: I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
              So many cats . . . so few recipes

---

Proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the
downtrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited
awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
     --David Baker (born 1944)
        paraphrasing Harold Urey (1893-1981)
          The History of Manned Space Flight. New York: Crown Publishers, 1982

---

Seventh Doctor: Time and tide melts the snowman.
Mel: Waits for no man!
Seventh Doctor: Who's waiting? I'm ready.
     --Jane Baker
        and Pip Baker
          Doctor Who, TV series, "Time and the Rani", 1987

---

Don't dare to be different, dare to be yourself -
if that doesn't make you different then something is wrong.
     --Laura Baker

---

Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,
hardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science,
not aboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other
dimension.
     --Robert A. Baker [Robert Allen Baker Jr](1921-2005)
          "The Aliens Among Us: Hypnotic Regression Revisited",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988,
          pp.147-162

---

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to
defeat him.
     --Russell Baker (born 1925)

---

Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major
categories: those that don't work, those that break down and
those that get lost.
     --Russell Baker (born 1925)

---

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people
have been left out of the pleasure.
     --Russell Baker (born 1925)

---

Old people don't get tired -- it's only the young who tire.
Confusion exhausts them. I've got more energy now than when
I was younger, because I know exactly what I want to do.
     --George Balanchine [Giorgi Melitonovitch Balanchivadze](1904-1983)
          quoted in Bernard Taper. Balanchine: A Biography.
          Berkeley: University of California Press, 1987 (first published:
          New York: Times Books, 1984), p.248

---

Be careful what you set your heart upon -- for it will surely be yours.
     --James Baldwin (1924-1987)
          Nobody Knows My Name: More Notes of a Native Son.
          New York: Dial Press, 1961

---

Everything now, we must assume, is in our hands.
We have no right to assume otherwise. If we -- and now I
mean the relatively conscious whites and the relatively
conscious blacks, who must, like lovers, insist on, or
create, the consciousness of the others -- do not falter
in our duty now, we may be able, handful that we are,
to end the racial nightmare, and achieve our country, and
change the history of the world. If we do not now dare
everything, the fulfillment of that prophecy, re-created
from the Bible in song by a slave, is upon us: God gave
Noah the rainbow sign, No more water, the fire next time!
     --James Baldwin (1924-1987)
          The Fire Next Time. New York: Dial Press, 1962

---

The future is like heaven -- everyone exalts it, but no one wants
to go there now.
     --James Baldwin (1924-1987)
          Nobody Knows My Name: More Notes of a Native Son.
          New York: Dial Press, 1961

---

Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart;
for his purity, by definition, is unassailable.
     --James Baldwin (1924-1987)
          Nobody Knows My Name: More Notes of a Native Son.
          New York: Dial Press, 1961

---

To be black and conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage.
     --James Baldwin (1924-1987)
          Time Magazine, 1965
          on being a person who was "different" in the middle of the XXth century

---

Men are like linoleum. You lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for
thirty years!
     --Alan Ball (born 1957)
          Grace Under Fire, TV series, "Grace vs Wade", 1994,
          spoken by Grace Kelly (Brett Butler)

---

The best government rests on the people and not on the few,
on persons and not on property, on the free development of
public opinion and not on authority; because the munificent
Author of our being has conferred the gifts of mind upon
every member of the human race without distinction of
outward circumstances.
     --George Bancroft (1800-1891)

---

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
     --Tallulah Bankhead [Tallulah Brockman Bankhead](1902-1968)

---

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
     --Tallulah Bankhead [Tallulah Brockman Bankhead ](1902-1968)
          Tallulah: My Autobiography. New York: Harper, 1952

---

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away.
But first 1 spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of
the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really
doesn't taste that bad.
     --Janette Barber (born 1953)

---

The government of the United States is not, in any sense,
founded on the Christian religion.
     --Joel Barlow (1754-1812)
          American consul in Algiers, in the
          Treaty of Tripoli,4 November 1796, Article XI
          often credited to Barlow's 'boss', George Washington (1732-1799)
          First president of the United States of America

---

On the Internet, the First Amendment is a local ordinance
    variant: In Cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance.
     --John Perry Barlow (born 1947)
        co-founder of Electronic Frontier Foundation
          quoted by Mitchell Kapor (co-founder of Electronic Frontier Foundation)
          in his "Forward" [sic] to Big Dummy's Guide to the
          Internet (www.cs.indiana.edu/docproject/bdgtti/bdgtti_3.html)
          also attributed to Tim May [Timothy C. May]](born mid-XXth century),
          or to Fred H. Cate, as quoted in The New York Times, 27 February 2010

---

Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the first culture
available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people
want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
     --Clive Barnes (1927-2008)

---

Continue to love your child, and realize that there is nothing
abnormal or immoral in his sexual activity. Whom he loves
is unimportant; that he is able to love is all that matters.
     --Jeanne C. Barney (1938-2018)
          The Advocate, Issue No.86, 24 May 1972, p.32
          Los Angeles gay community newspaper advice column, responding to parent's
          request for help in accepting son's homosexuality
          [this is a variant of a quote from Marcel Proust (1871-1922),
          À la recherche du temps perdu [In Search of Lost Time]
          Paris: Grasset and Gallimard, 1913-1927, segment "À l'ombre des
          jeunes filles en fleurs" (1919), Part II:
          "But what matters in life is not whom or what one loves, it is
          the fact of loving."]

---

You know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks,
'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's
one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable
crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're
a bunch of misfits and losers
     --Mike Baron (born mid-XXth century)
          An analysis of Neo-Nazis, "The Badger" comic

---

The most concrete experience a child can have
is a meaningful interaction with a person he
greatly admires, a person who is a fitting example
of a masterful, competent, learned human being.
     --Donald Barr (1921-2004)
          Headmaster, The Dalton School, New York City

---

People say to me, "You're not feminine."
Well, they can suck my dick!
     --Roseanne Barr [Roseanne Cherrie Barr](born 1952)

---

God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          "Courage", Rectorial address, St Andrews University, Scotland, 3 May 1922
          he was quoting another unnamed writer, as he prefaced the above with,
          "You may remember someone said . . ."

---

Heaven has the better climate, but hell has the better company.
    --Arthur MacArthur Sr (1815-1896), quoting "Ben Wade" (perhaps Senator
        Benjamin Franklin Wade), in a speech to the National Conference of
        Charities and Correction in 1885


Heaven has the best climate, Hell has the best society.
    --Isaac E. Adams, quoting Emery A. Storrs in Life of Emery A. Storrs:
        His Wit and Eloquence, as Shown in a Notable Literary, Political
        and Forensic Career. Chicago: G.L. Howe, 1886


Both have their advantages: Heaven for climate, Hell for company.
    --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910), from a notebook
        entry dated 1 February 1890, quoted in Frederick Anderson,
        et al. (Editors). Mark Twain's Notebooks and Journals,
        Volume III, 1883-1891. Berkeley: University of California Press,
        1979, p.538; also used by Twain in a speech to the Acorn Society in
        1901, as noted in Mark Twain's Speeches. New York: Harper,
        1910, p.117


If it's heaven for climate, it's hell for company.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          The Little Minister. New York: H.M. Caldwell, 1898

---

I'm not young enough to know everything.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          The Admirable Crichton. first produced at Duke of York's Theatre,
          London, 4 November 1902, Act I, spoken by Hon. Ernest Woolley
          often misattributed to Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde]
          (1854-1900)

---

Nothing is really work unless you would rather
be doing something else.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)

---

Nothing that happens after we are twelve matters very much.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          Margaret Ogilvie By Her Son. London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1897,
          Chapter II: What She Had Been

---

To die will be an awfully big adventure.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          Peter and Wendy [Peter Pan]. London: Hodder & Stoughton,
          n.d. [1911], p.143

---

We should be slower to think that the man at his worst is the
real man, and certain that the better we are ourselves
the less likely is he to be at his worst in our company.
Every time he talks away his own character before us, he is
signifying contempt for ours.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          The Little Minister, Chapter Nine. London: Cassell & Co., 1891;
          also the play first performed at the Haymarket, London, 1897

---

Your heart is as fresh as your face; and that is well. The useless men are
those who never change with the years. Many views that I held to in my
youth and long afterwards are a pain to me now. . . . When you are older
you will know that life is a long lesson in humility.
     --J.M. Barrie [Sir James Matthew Barrie, 1st Baronet, OM](1860-1937)
          The Little Minister. London: Cassell, 1891,
          Chapter 3, "The Night-Watchers"

---

Albert Einstein . . . discovered that a tiny amount of
mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains
why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous
1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton:
"You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh
fat from a single Snickers."
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment
suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous
drool gland.
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

The Internet is the most important single development in the history
of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

A printer consists of three main parts: the case,
the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability
to", and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom".
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes
on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected twists
and turns, being attacked by vicious secretions along the way, and
not knowing until the last minute whether it will be turned into a
useful body part or ejected into the Dark Hole by Mister Sphincter.
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is
second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little
scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds
if we felt like it.
     --Dave Barry (born 1947)

---

love: Two minds without a single thought.
     --Philip Barry [Philip James Quinn Barry](1896-1949)

---

A man who produces a fact or an idea has not completed his responsibility
to it until he sees that it is well used in the world. A man may grow
potatoes as a specialist of sorts, but he falsifies himself and his
potatoes too if he eats them and fails to live as a man.
     --Wendell Barry (born 1934)

---

Love is that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and
discovering that she looks like a haddock.
     --John Barrymore (1882-1942)

---

One of my chief regrets during my years in the theater is that
I couldn't sit in the audience and watch me.
     --John Barrymore (1882-1942)

---

When you're through changing
--you're through
     --Bruce Barton (1886-1967)

---

Man is never made of any color
And color never made any man, a man.
     --Marge Barton (fl. mid-XXth century)
          "What Color (Is a Man)", 1965
          song sung by Ed Ames on Mike Douglas Show (television), 15 December 1969

---

Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
     --R.S. Barton (born mid-XXth century)

---

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
(commenting on why he didn't bother with seating arrangements at
dinner parties)
     --Bernard Baruch (1870-1965)
          quoted in Bennett Cerf. Shake Well Before Using: A New Collection of
          Impressions and Anecdotes Mostly Humorous.
          New York: Simon and Schuster, 1948
          a longer expression, "Be who you are and say what you feel,
          because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
          is often attributed to Theodore Seuss Geisel [Dr Seuss](1904-1991),
          though a source is never given

---

What is irritating about love is that it is a crime that requires an
accomplice.
     --Charles Baudelaire [Charles Pierre Baudelaire](1821-1867)

---

You should make a point of trying every experience once,
excepting incest and folk-dancing.
variant: Try everything once, except incest and Morris dancing.
     --Sir Arnold Bax [Arnold Edward Trevor Bax](1883-1953)
          Farewell, My Youth. London and New York: Longmans, Green and Co., 1943
          some sources note that this was a popular XXth century saying that
          Bax repeated in his book, claiming he was quoting 'a sympathetic Scot';
          sometimes attributed to Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961) George S. Kauffman
          (1889-1961), Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) and Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

---

What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
     --Peter S. Beagle [Peter Soyer Beagle](born 1939)

---

One of the best ways to get yourself a reputation
as a dangerous citizen is to go about repeating
the very phrases which our founding fathers used
in the great struggle for independence.
     --Charles A. Beard (1874-1948)

---

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a
reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating
the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for
independence.
     --Charles A. Beard (1874-1948)

---

Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control
reality by purely material means . . . airline insurance replaces
the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash.
     --Cecil Beaton (1904-1980)

---

Aujourd'hui ce qui ne vaut pas la peine d'être dit, on le chante.
[Nowadays, anything that isn't worth saying, is sung.]
     --Pierre Beaumarchais [Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais](1732-1799)
          Le Barbier de Séville, 1775, Act I, Scene II
          often misattributed to François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)

---

Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses.
     --Lord Beaverbrook [William Maxwell "Max" Aitken, 1st Baron Beaverbrook, Bt, PC, ONB](1879-1964)

---

A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head,
and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot.
     --Alan Beck [Alan Marshall Beck](born early-XXth century)
          What is a Girl?. Boston: New England Mutual Life Insurance Company
          (pamphlet), 1950; following a similar essay "What is a Boy?" (1949)
          published in a collection of the author's essays, Those We Love.
          Minneapolis: T.S. Denison, 1960

---

Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming;
feedback is the treatment.
     --Kent Beck (born 1961)

---

Drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.
     --Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961)

---

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.
     --Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961)

---

Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature
into his pictures.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

---

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone
expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself.
Be a hard master to yourself -- and be lenient to everybody else.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

---

Now comes the mystery.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
        last words

---

Our daily duties are a part of our religious life just as much
as our devotions are.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

---

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
One is roots, the other, wings.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
          quoted by (and often attributed to) Hodding Carter [William Hodding
          Carter II](1907-1972); also sometimes attributed to Stephen Covey

---

The truest self-respect is not to think of self.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

---

When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already
rung.
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
          Proverbs From Plymouth Pulpit. New York: D. Appleton and Co., 1887

---

When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
     --Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

---

Hope is fear of the present.
     --Willard Beecher (1898-1977)
        and Marguerite Beecher (1904-?)
          Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity..
          New York: Julian Press, 1966, p.233

---

Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
     --Ludwig von Beethoven (1770-1827)
        last words

---

At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning
for union with one's lost self.
     --Brendan Behan [Brendan Francis Behan](1923-1964)

---

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've
seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
     --Brendan Behan [Brendan Francis Behan](1923-1964)

---

The most important things to do in this world are to get something to eat,
somthing to drink and somebody to love you.
     --Brendan Behan [Brendan Francis Behan](1923-1964)

---

Speak little of difficulties; they involve your own
weaknesses and prejudices.
     --Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922)

---

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long
and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones
which open for us.
     --Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922)

---

If you don't fit in, make your own category.
     --Kristen Bell (born 1980)
          CBS Sunday Morning, TV series, 24 July 2016, actress, describing
          the central message of her TV series, Veronica Mars (UPN, 2004-2007)

---

I pledge allegiance to my flag and [to] the Republic for which it stands,
one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
     --Francis Bellamy [Francis Julius Bellamy](1855-1931)
          Youth's Companion, 8 September 1892, original version; "to"
          (here in [square] brackets) was added in October 1892

---

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf
of insignificance from the door.
     --Saul Bellow (1915-2005)
          Mr Sammler's Planet. New York: Viking, 1970, p.190

---

It took me 15 years to discover I had no talent for writing, but
I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
     --Robert Benchley [Robert Charles Benchley](1889-1945)
          quoted in Reader's Digest, September 1949
          variant:
              It took me nearly ten years to learn that I couldn't write.
              I suppose you gave it up then?
              Oh, no! By that time I had a reputation established.
                  --cartoon by R. Curry, Punch, 6 February 1924

---

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who
constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those
who do not.
     --Robert Benchley (1889-1945)
          Of All Things. New York: H. Holt and Co., 1921, Chapter 20

---

Imagine the appeals,
Dissents and remandments,
If lawyers had written
The Ten Commandments.
     --Harry Bender [George Harrison Bender](1896-1961)

---

We don't know where we're going, but we're on our way.
     --Stephen Vincent Benét (1898-1943)
          "Western Star", 1943 unfinished poem

---

Leben heißt Spuren zu hinterlassen.
    [To live means to leave traces.]
     --Walter Benjamin [Walter Bendix Schoenflies Benjamin](1892-1940)
          "Louis-Philippe or the Interior", section V of "Paris - Capital
          of the Nineteenth Century" (1939), in Edmund Jephcott (translator).
          Reflections: Essays, Aphorisms, Autobiographical Writing.
          New Yorki: Schocken Books, 1986, p.155

---

If I were a child of about eight years old, at dinner tonight
I would report to my family, "Our new teacher is so pretty!
She let me hand out the papers today". If my new teacher
was a composite of all the young men, I should report to
my family, "Our new music teacher is nice!
He had on a red tie today!"


On such foundations would my judgment be made -- almost
entirely on appearance and personality because, being
so young, it would never occur to me that my pretty teacher
or nice man also had to be proficient, and that
my future growth depended almost entirely on how
seriously they regarded their responsibilities or how
thoroughly they planned for me. No, if I thought of it at
all, I would be certain that they know everything that they
need to know -- and even more! I would be confident they
would do everything for me that needed to be done. You
see, I am eight years old, and grown up people never
cheat little children.


If I were a teen-ager in junior high school, I would take
a long, quiet look at you. You are neither women teachers
or men teachers. You are just teachers.
I would call my crowd together and in a tone of real concern
warn them, "Could be we're headed for trouble. We gotta
stick together". And how surprised I would be to find that
on the very first day you disarmed me so completely!
You kept me so busy! Your poise, your charm, your
dignity, your tremendous ability -- your quiet assurance,
your control of the situation, your infectious
good humor -- I forgot you were supposed to be my enemy.
I did not recognize your weapons because my own weapons
have always been so different.


If I were a teen-ager in senior high school, I would level my
look at you with my head held high. I can wait. Since
you are only a very few years older than I, it could be
that you are not really much more competent. If you can prove
your ability so completely that I cannot ignore it, I shall
give you my allegiance -- every ounce of it! If I do not
recognize my progress, or the progress of the organization
which you direct, I can ignore you completely,
and my life will be just as happy without you.
If I m a boy, I may even flirt with you, kid you along.
If I am a girl, I may bedevil you by making mooneyes
at you! But whatever I am, and however I behave, you really
matter to me only when you have commanded my respect for
your leadership and your adulthood! When this has
happened, I shall elevate you to the rank of an idol, and I
beg you not to betray my action. Will you, please, not have
feet of clay.


I shall adhere to your tastes wholeheartedly in whatever you
give me to do. Your judgment will be superior to that of
any other, even to that of my parents. I shall remember
you through all of my life because you have provided my first
real experience of aesthetic exaltation -- my first realization
that there is something in the world much bigger than I have ever
known, and because you have opened up this world to me -- a
world of beauty, of taste, of discrimination, of tremendous
satisfaction -- because you have thus turned me toward the
way of emotional maturity, I shall never forget you.
     --Oleta Albertson Benn (1904-1991)
          speaking to a convention of new music teachers in 1954
          (references to music edited)

---

Make love to every woman you meet; if you get 5% on your
outlays, it's a good investment.
     --Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

---

The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the
man from touching the equipment.
     --Warren G. Bennis (born 1925)

---

People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.
     --Jon Bentley [Jon Louis Bentley](born 1953)

---

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
     --Edgar Bergen (1903-1978)
        as Charlie McCarthy

---

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
     --Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

---

Act like a man of thought and think like a man of action.
    often quoted as: Think like a man of action, act like a
        man of thought.
    variant: You can't think your way into acting differently, but
        you can act your way into thinking differently.
     --Henri-Louis Bergson (1859-1941)
          speech at Descartes Conference in Paris, 1937
          variant as quoted by Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          in Brand: A Second Coming, 2015 documentary;
          other variants are credited to Bill Wilson (1895-1971) and Dr Bob Smith
          [Robert Holbrook Smith](1879-1950) who co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous
          in 1939; Brand is known to be a practitioner of 12-step programs such as
          those used in Alcoholics Anonymous

---

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
     --Ellen Perry Berkeley (born 1931)

---

Human society -- man in a group -- rises out of its lethargy to new levels
of productivity only under the stimulus of deeply inspiring and commonly
appreciated goals. A lethargic world serves no cause well; a spirited
world working diligently toward earnestly desired goals provides the
means and the strength toward which many ends can be satisfied . . . to
unparalleled social accomplishment.
     --L.V. Berkner [Dr Lloyd Viel Berkner](1905-1967)
          "The Compelling Horizon", in Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists,
          May 1963. p.9

---

Le temps est un grand maître, dit-on; le malheur est qu'il soit
un maître inhumain qui tue ses élèves.
[Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.]
     --Hector Berlioz [Louis Hector Berlioz](1803-1869)
          Letter written in November 1856, published in Pierre Citron (Editor).
           Correspondance géneérale. Paris: Flammarion, 1989,
          Volume 5, p.390

---

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and
opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society.
. . . We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our
ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of.
     --Edward Bernays [Edward Louis Bernays](1891-1995)
          Propaganda. New York: Horace Liveright, 1928

---

We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
     --Eric Berne (1910-1970)

---

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
     --Yogi Berra [Lawrence Peter Berra](1925-2015)
          with Dave Kaplan. When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!.
          New York: Hyperion, 2001, p.163

---

You can observe a lot by watching.
     --Yogi Berra [Lawrence Peter Berra](1925-2015)
          with Dave Kaplan. You Can Observe a Lot By Watching. New York: John Wiley & Sons, 2008

---

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because
you might not get there.
     --Yogi Berra [Lawrence Peter Berra](1925-2015)
          What Time is It? You Mean Now?. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003, p.39

---

Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights
before the dark hour of reason grows.
     --John Betjeman (1906-1984)
          Summoned By Bells. London: John Murray, 1960

---

Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes,
but which no democracy can afford among its citizens.
     --Lord Beveridge [William Henry Beveridge, 1st Baron Beveridge KCB](1879-1963)

---

Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof. There are many examples
of outsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies,
but they prevailed with irrefutable data. More often, egregious findings
that contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts. I have
argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic
conciousness," and the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the
foundations of neuroscience. Before abandoning materialist theories of mind
that have paid handsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for
psi phenomena than presently exists, especially when neurology and
psychology themselves offer more plausible alternatives.
     --Barry L. Beyerstein (1947-2007)
          "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for Psi Phenomena",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988,
          pp.163-173

---

In arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,
psychokinesis, reincarnation, and so on, I am frequently challenged with
the most popular of all neuro-mythologies -- the notion that we ordinarily
use only 10 percent of our brains. . . .


This "cerebral spare tire" concept continues to nourish the
clientele of "pop psychologists" and their many recycling
self-improvement schemes. As a metaphor for the fact that few of us
fully exploit our talents, who could deny it? As a refuge for occultists
seeking a neural basis of the miraculous, it leaves much to be desired.
     --Barry L. Beyerstein (1947-2007)
          "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for Psi Phenomena",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988,
          pp.163-173

---

Prevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations
or from a "universal mind" (the repository of all past wisdom
and creativity) not only are implausible but also unfairly demean the
stunning achievements of individual human brains.
     --Barry L. Beyerstein (1947-2007)
          "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for Psi Phenomena",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988,
          pp.163-173

---

What kind of cartoon tabloid society are we living in when the archvillain
we're all supposed to be afraid of is named Snoop Doggy Dog?
     --Jello Biafra [Eric Reed Boucher](born 1958)

---

Academy (n.): A modern school where football is taught.
    variant: University: A modern school where football is taught.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Admiration (n.): Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Adolescent (n.): Recovering from boyhood.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Ambidextrous (adj.): Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket
or a left.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an
excuse for getting drunk.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Beauty (n.): the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies
a husband.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Belladonna (n.): in Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Bigot (n.): One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion
that you do not entertain.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Bore (n.): a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Brain (n.): An apparatus with which we think that we think.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be
proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were
a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which
certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without
a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on
it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court
was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft
and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no
witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Childhood (n.): The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of
infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood
and three from the remorse of age.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Conservative (n): a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as
distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

The covers of this book are too far apart.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Cynic (n): a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
not as they ought to be.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Education (n.): That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the
foolish their lack of understanding.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Egotist (n.): a person more interested in himself than in me.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our
errors of youth for those of age.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable
Christian forbearance among men. We should devour our young, as
Nature intended.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
        quoted in Franklin Dickerson Walker. San Francisco's Literary Frontier.
        Seattle: University of Washington Press/New York: A.A. Knopf, 1939

---

History (n.): An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant,
which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Inventor (n.): A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels,
levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Litigation (n.): A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of
as a sausage.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Mad (adj.): Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Marriage (n.): the state or condition of a community consisting of a
master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Noncombatant (n.): a dead Quaker.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Politeness (n.): The most acceptable hypocrisy.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Pray (v.): To ask the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a
single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Speak when you are angry and you will make the greatest speech you
will ever regret.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
        (most Web sites attribute Bierce, but without noting source)
        also variously (and probably wrongly) attributed to
        Dr Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990), Drake (Sir Francis?), and others

---

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond;
the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Devil's Dictionary [The Cynic's Word Book].
          New York: Neale Publishing Co., 1911

---

Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without
falling into her hands.
     --Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
          The Cynic's Word Book, 1906
          noted in David E. Shultz and S.T. Joshi (Editors).
          The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary. Athens GA: The University of
          Georgia Press, 2000, p.298

---

The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the
oppressed.
     --Stephen Biko (1946-1977)

---

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
     --Josh Billings [Henry Wheeler Shaw](1818-1885)

---

The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the
biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to them
were fishermen.
     --Arthur M. Binstead (1861-1914)
          Pitcher's Proverbs. London: Everett & Co., 1900

---

Boys throw rocks at the frogs in fun, but the frogs do not die in fun,
but in earnest.
     --Βιων [Bion of Borysthenes](c.325-c.250 BCE)
          quoted by Πλουταρχος [Plutarch/Mestrius Plutarchos](c.46-127 CE)
          Ηθικα [Moralia/Ethics] (c.100 CE), XII: 66

---

Friendship is a word, the very sight of which in print
makes the heart warm.
     --Augustine Birrell (1850-1933)

---

A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
     --Otto von Bismarck [Otto Eduard Leopold, Prince of Bismarck, Duke of Lauenburg](1815-1898)
          attributed to Bismarck, unsourced

---

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an
election.
     --Otto von Bismarck [Otto Eduard Leopold, Prince of Bismarck, Duke of Lauenburg](1815-1898)

---

Universal suffrage is the government of a house by its nursery.
     --Otto von Bismarck [Otto Eduard Leopold, Prince of Bismarck, Duke of Lauenburg](1815-1898)

---

Four thousand throats may be cut in one night by a running man.
    tlhIngan Hol (Klingon language): qaStaHvIS wa' ram loSSaD
    Hugh SIjlaH qetbogh loD
    literal translation: While one night happens, a running man is
    able to slit four thousand throats
     --Jerome Bixby (1923-1998)
          Star Trek, TV series, "Day of the Dove", 1968

---

Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.
     --Diana R. Black (born mid-XXth century)

---

We may not be master of our daily work, but we are at least
master of the spirit in which we do it.
     --Hugh Black (1868-1953)
        Work. Chicago: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1903, p.148

---

It's beyond belief! The baby boomers fucked up everything that was given
to us, and what did we put in its place? Spas and health clubs. The
major thing that we'll leave on the planet is the concept of style over
substance. . . . We can't have solar, but we can have an iPod?
We've got a thing the size of a credit card that can show movies, but
solar energy -- that's impossible. We're a great country, but we don't
apply the greatness to anything that really matters.
     --Lewis Black [Lewis Niles Black](born 1948)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, pp.552-553

---

[The Super Bowl] destroyed the game [of football]. They stop for two
weeks, they interview everybody . . . I don't care where these people
come from or what their hobbies are. And the commercials
are like mystery stories! Three rabbits are on a log, one of them goes
home and hangs himself -- buy a bike!
     --Lewis Black [Lewis Niles Black](born 1948)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.557

---

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't
sell "soy juice", so they called it "soy milk".
Because any time you say "soy juice", you actually start to
gag. . . . We all know there's no soy milk, 'cause there's no soy titty,
is there?
     --Lewis Black [Lewis Niles Black](born 1948)
          Rules of Engagement, 2003 album, and Black on Broadway,
          2004 HBO (cable) special and DVD

---

What's the weather like on your planet?
     --Shane Black (born 1961)
          The Long Kiss Goodnight, 1996 film
          spoken by Mitch Hennessey (Samuel L. Jackson)

---

Venice . . . the only town in Europe to have found a way to keep
prostitution off the streets.
     --Bryan Blackburn (1928-2004)
        and others
          The Two Ronnies, "Episode #4.1", 2 January 1975

---

Abstinence sows sand all over
The ruddy limbs and flaming hair,
But Desire gratified
Plants fruits of life and beauty there.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)

---

As the catterpiller [sic] chooses the fairest leaves
to lay her eggs on, so the priest lays his
curse on the fairest joys.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)
          The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, 1790

---

Better murder an infant in its cradle than nurse an unacted desire.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)

---

Children of the future age
Reading this indignant page,
Know that in a former time
Love! sweet Love! was thought a crime.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)
          "A Little Girl Lost", from Songs of Innocence and Experience, 1789

---

Eternity


He who bends to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy.
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise.
     --  William Blake (1757-1827)
          (Note: According to The Note Book 1793, of Blake, an early version
          of the fourth line is "Lives in an eternal sun rise". And one revised
          version of it is "Lives in eternity's sun rise".)

---

I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's; I will not
reason and compare: my business is to create.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)

---

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)

---

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
     --William Blake (1757-1827)
        The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, 1790

---

Mind your own business, Mr Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed
interference.
     --Robert Bloch [Robert Albert Bloch](1917-1994)
          Star Trek, TV series, "What are Little Girls Made Of?",
          20 October 1966, spoken by Capt James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and
          repeated later by Kirk Android (William Shatner)

---

Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the
concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it
by December 15th.
     --Roy Blount Jr (born 1941)

---

The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.
     --Ed Bluestone (born mid-XXth century)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans.
We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means?
Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent
country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog.
     --Len Blum (born 1951)
        with Daniel Goldberg and Harold Ramis (born 1944), screenwriters
          Stripes, 1981 film, spoken by John Winger (Bill Murray)

---

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but can't afford an air force.
     --William Blum (born 1933)

---

Imprisonment is a reality of discipline most useful to the
modern soul, lapped as it is in physical sloth and self-indulgence.
Like a sickness or a spiritual retreat it purifies and ennobles;
and the soul emerges from it stronger and more self-contained.
     --Wilfred Scawen Blunt (1840-1922)
          In Vinculis [In Chains]. London: Kegan Paul, Trench & Co., 1889, p.vii
          quoted by Oscar Wilde in "Poetry and Prison",
          Pall Mall Gazette, 3 January 1889

---

Jenner: I've learned this much: take what you can, when you can.
Justin: Then you have learned nothing.
     --Don Bluth (born 1937)
        et al.
          The Secret of N.I.M.H., 1982 animated film

---

I don't have any hard feelings.
     --John Wayne Bobbitt (born 1967)
        perhaps a hoax, purportedly said in 1993, after his wife, Lorena,
        had cut him off (as it were)

---

Reese: I just stopped thinking. I figured out that using my brain
    was the whole problem, not just here, but my entire life. If I just do
    exactly what I'm told, and nothing else, then everything gets easy.
    It's not even a question of smart or dumb. You just turn yourself into
    a tool. I'm much happier that way. I'm the world's happiest tool.
Drill Instructor: You must be proud of yourself, son.
Reese: I don't know if I am or not. I'm waiting for you to tell me.
Drill Instructor: My God! A soldier like you comes along
once in a thousand years.
     --Andy Bobrow (born mid-XXth century)
          Malcolm in the Middle, TV series, "Reese Joins the Army,
          Part 1", 16 May 2004, spoken by Reese (Justin Berfield) when his
          Army Drill Instructor (Steve Rankin as Sgt. Hendrix) asks how Reese, who
          until this point has been a complete screw-up, has accomplished such a
          transformation into a model soldier

---

Only the suppressed word is dangerous.
     --Ludwig Börne [Karl Ludwig Börne/Loeb Baruch](1786-1837)

---

True courage is not only a balloon for rising, but also
a parachute for falling.
     --Ludwig Börne (1786-1837)

---

Experience is the mother of science.
     --Henry George Bohn (1796-1884)

---

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made,
in a narrow field.
     --Niels Bohr [Niels Henrik David Bohr](1885-1962)

---

Two sorts of truth: profound truths recognized by the fact that the
opposite is also a profound truth, in contrast to trivialities where
opposites are obviously absurd.
    variant [unsourced]:The opposite of a correct statement is a
        false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be
        another profound truth.
     --Niels Bohr [Niels Henrik David Bohr](1885-1962)
          quoted by his son Hans Bohr in "My Father", published in
          Stefan Rozental, Editor. Neils Bohr: His Life and Work as Seen by His
          Friends and Colleagues. Amsterdam: North Holland Publishing Company/
          New York: Wiley, 1967, p.328;
          another variant is quoted by Max Delbruck, et al., in
          Mind from Matter? An Essay on Evolutionary Epistemology,
          Palo Alto CA: Blackwell Scientific Publications, 1986, p.167:
          "It is the hallmark of any deep truth that its negation is also a
          deep truth."

---

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
     --Niels Bohr [Niels Henrik David Bohr](1885-1962)

---

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've
lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be
hanging from a charm bracelet.
     --Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)

---

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on
television.
     --Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)

---

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
     --Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)

---

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest
of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your
child's name and how old he or she is.
     --Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)

---

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when
parents began to communicate with their children.
     --Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)
          If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?.
          New York: McGraw-Hill, 1978

---

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

In war as in love, to bring matters to a close, you must
get close together.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

Never interfere with an enemy while he is in the process of
destroying himself.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
          as quoted by Theodore H. White (1915-1986), in
          The Making of the President, 1964. New York: Atheneum, 1965

---

Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
     --Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

---

The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.
     --Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945)

---

When the world has been fully codified and collated, when ambivalences
and ambiguities have been so sponged away that we know exactly and
objectively where everything is and what it is called, a sense of
loss arises. The claim to completeness causes us to mourn the
possibility of exploration and muse endlessly on the hope of
novelty and escape.
     --Alastair Bonnett (born 1964)
          Unruly Places: Lost Spaces, Secret Cities, and Other Inscrutable
          Geographies. Boston/New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2014, p.xiv

---

There's this strange sense of peace that comes over you when you
give up that last shred of dignity.
     --Linwood Boomer (born 1955)
          Malcolm in the Middle, TV series, "Francis Escapes", 2000
          spoken by Francis after his girlfriend has dumped him

---

God is the Celebrity-Author of the World's Best Seller. We have made
God into the biggest celebrity of all, to contain our own emptiness.
     --Daniel Joseph Boorstin (1914-2004)
        Librarian of Congress, 1975-1987

---

We must abandon the prevalent belief in the superior wisdom
of the ignorant.
     --Daniel Joseph Boorstin (1914-2004)
        Librarian of Congress, 1975-1987

---

You must collect things for reasons you don't yet understand.
     --Daniel Joseph Boorstin (1914-2004)
        Librarian of Congress, 1975-1987

---

Most educators would continue to lecture on navigation while
the ship is going down.
     --James H. Boren (1925-2010)

---

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.
     --James H. Boren (1925-2010)

---

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident. That's where we come in. We're computer professionals.
We cause accidents.
     --Nathaniel Borenstein (born 1957)

---

As I was walking one day in the street [during a visit to Copenhagen],
an old man came over to me . . . and he said, "Was it you or your
brother who died?" I told him I really couldn't remember.
     --Victor Borge (1909-2000)
          used in many routines, with a number of variations;
          can be seen in YouTube video [accesesed 2020-03-25]

---

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
     --Victor Borge (1909-2000)

---

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build
as if the sand were stone.
     --Jorge Luis Borges [Jorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges Acevedo](1899-1986)

---

Que he hecho YO para merecer esto!!
     --every child ever born
          unknown origin

---

The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself
is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world.
     --Max Born (1882-1970)

---

There is more to life than bread and cars and
air-conditioned rooms. Perhaps the peculiar
malaise of our day is air-conditioned unhappiness.
The staleness and stuffiness of machine-made
routine.
     --Rabbi Eugene Borowitz (born 1924)
        Hebrew Union College

---

Personifiers of the world, unite!
You have nothing to lose but Mr Dignity!
     --Bernadette Bosky (born mid-XXth century)

---

I guess I'll retire someday if I live that long.
     --Bobby Bowden [Robert Cleckler Bowden](born 1929)
        Florida State football coach
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

I won't miss coaching. What you miss is that camaraderie with those boys
and the other coaches. You miss that.
     --Bobby Bowden [Robert Cleckler Bowden](born 1929)
        Florida State football coach
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

If somebody mistreats you, treat 'em good. That kills 'em.
     --Bobby Bowden [Robert Cleckler Bowden](born 1929)
        Florida State football coach
          quoted in Cal Fussman, "Bobby Bowden: What I've Learned",
          Esquire, September 2001

---

Man, I love "Cops". . . . The American justice system at work.
Beating the crap out of people before judges let 'em go. Almost makes me
want to pay taxes.
     --Garry Bowren (born mid-XXth century)
        and Lisa Lee-Goss (born mid-XXth century)
          Married . . . With Children, TV series, "Kelly's Gotta Habit",
          12 October 1996, spoken by Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill)

---

Everything's absurd, because you have to die. There's no real point
in living. We could go with platitudes like "do unto others . . ."
and "try to preserve what you have" and "be a nice guy"
and "create art" and so on, but really it just comes down to
being an animal, living and dying.
     --T.C. Boyle [Tom Coraghessan Boyle/Thomas John Boyle](born 1948)
          quoted by David Ferrell in Los Angeles Times, 28 April 2001

---

If I had my whole life to live over again, I'd make all the same mistakes,
only sooner.
     --Eddie Braben (1930-2013)
          The Morecambe and Wise Show, 1 November 1974,
          spoken by Eric Morecambe

---

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free
    'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
    'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
    To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
    Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.
     --Joseph Brackett Jr (1797-1882)
          "Simple Gifts", Shaker "Dancing Song", 1848
          "Turning" is a common theme in Christian theology, but the references
          to "turning" in the last two lines have also been identified as dance
          instructions. [source: Roger Lee Hall, Simple Gifts: Great American
          Folk song. Stoughton MA: PineTree Productions, 2014]

---

Do, or do not. There is no "try".
     --Leigh Brackett (1915-1978)
          and Lawrence Kasdan (born 1949), The Empire Strikes Back, 1980 film,
          spoken by Yoda (Frank Oz)

---

The ability to "fantasize" is the ability to survive. . . . We
survive by fantasizing. Take that away from us, and the whole damned
human race goes down the drain.
     --Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)
          in M.H. Hall, "A Conversation with Ray Bradbury and Chuck Jones,
          the Fantasy Makers", Psychology Today, April 1968, pp.28 ff.

---

I don't try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.
     --Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)
          quoted by Arthur C. Clarke (1917-2008) in The Independent
          (London), 16 July 1992

---

I was not embarrassed at circuses. Some people are. Circuses are
loud, vulgar, and smell in the sun. By the time many people are fourteen
or fifteen, they have been divested of their loves, their ancient and
intuitive tastes, one by one, until when they reach maturity there is no
fun left, no zest, no gusto, no flavor. Others have criticized, and they
have criticized themselves, into embarrassment. When the circus pulls in
at five of a dark cold summer morn, and the calliope sounds, they do not
rise and run, they turn in their sleep, and life passes by.
     --Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)
          "Drunk, and in charge of a bicycle". Author's introduction to
          The Stories of Ray Bradbury. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1980, p.xii
          This discussion of a primal force in Bradbury's life and writing -
          maintaining his connection with the spark of adolescence in which the
          world suddenly is a wondrous, unlimited place to explore - is also the
          central idea in his short story, filmed as No..46 in his television
          anthology series, The Ray Bradbury Theatre,
          "Colonel Stonesteel and the 'Desperate Empties'" (1991).
          Stonesteel is an old man living alone, Charlie his barely teen-aged neighbour:
              Charlie: What if even when I get old . . . I have a life where
                    I'm never bored and I find out what I want to do, and do it. . . .
                    Then what?
              Stonesteel: Well then, son, you'll be one of God's luckiest
                    people.

---

It's the similarity between people
that makes communication possible,
and the difference which makes it worthwhile.
     --Christopher John Bradbury Robinson (born mid-XXth century)
          A Crocodile of Choirboys. San Diego CA: Phenix [sic], 1970

---

Better a thousandfold abuse of free speech than denial of free speech. The
abuse dies in a day, but the denial stays the life of the people and
entombs the hope of the race.
     --Charles Bradlaugh (1833-1891)
        British activist, founded the National Secular Society in 1866

---

The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.
     --F.H. Bradley [Francis Herbert Bradley, OM](1846-1904)

---

Anyone who claims to be operating on a model designed to fulfil the
will of Jesus, or Allah, or Krishna, or anyone, who isn't first and
foremost dedicated to the union of all humankind and service of the
needy is on a massive blag. . . . The only meaningful interpretation of
any religious teaching is to honor the divine within ourselves and love
the divine in one another. . . . Any version of any theology that
manifests as dazzling costumes and palaces for the bloke at the front
is bollocks.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, pp.54-55
          NOTE: for definitions of "blag" or "bollocks" -- for
          those who can't figure them out from context -- may I recommend
          urbandictionary.com/

---

Beneath the fear, doubt, and conditioning, you know we can create
a better world, don't you?
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          from the dedication of Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.vii

---

Find out what the powerful want you to do, then don't do it.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.154

---

Homophobes . . . ransack the Bible for spiritual justification for their
odd prejudices, which in truth can only really be strangled homosexual
urges. Otherwise, why bother?
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.156

---

I can't see into the future. . . . I can't envisage stuff.
I can barely see into the present.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.171

---

My whole life, I have sought comfort in individualism. I escaped the
banality of my background with the flamboyance of my haircut, the low
expectations of my class with the grandiosity of my parlance, and the
fear of being ordinary by becoming a professional weirdo.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.169

---

True freedom cannot be offered from above. It must be taken from below.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.221

---

We are animals. We are free animals with a divine spark, we're not in a
farm or a zoo or a theme park, we're free. We've forgotten that we're
free. There's so much to do, so much on TV, that we've forgotten that
we're free.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.48

---

When I was poor and complained about inequality they said I was bitter;
now that I'm rich and I complain about inequality they say I'm a
hypocrite. I'm beginning to think they just don't want to talk
about inequality.
     --Russell Brand [Russell Edward Brand](born 1975)
          Revolution. New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.92

---

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
     --Stewart Brand (born 1938)
          back cover of The Whole Earth Epilog (1974)
          quoted by Steve Jobs (1955-2011) in his 2005 Commencement address
          at Stanford University

---

The makers of our constitution undertook to secure conditions favorable
to the pursuit of happiness. . . . They sought to protect Americans in
their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions and their sensations.
They conferred, as against the government, the right to be let alone -
the most comprehensive of the rights and the right most valued by
civilized men.
     --Louis D. Brandeis (1856-1941)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America
          Olmstead v. United States, 1928

---

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of
zeal, well meaning but without understanding.
     --Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856-1941)
        Olmstead v United States, 277 U.S. 438, 478 [1928]

---

It is useless to send armies against ideas.
     --Georg Brandes [Georg Morris Cohen Brandes](1842-1947)

---

It is useless to send armies against ideas.
     --Georg Morris Cohen Brandes (1842-1927)

---

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work
is terribly important.
     --Berkeley Breathed [Guy Berkeley "Berke" Breathed](born 1957)
          "Bloom County", syndicated newspaper comic strip, 1980-1989
          spoken by Milo Bloom

---

Like, what do they mean when they say 'feminine protection'?
What's that? A chartreuse flamethrower?
     --Berkeley Breathed [Guy Berkeley "Berke" Breathed](born 1957)
          "Opus", syndicated newspaper comic strip, 2003-2008

---

Grub first, then ethics.
     --Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)

---

The law was made for one thing alone, for the exploitation of those
who don't understand it, or are prevented by naked misery from
obeying it.
     --Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)

---

There are times when you have to choose between being human and having good
taste.
     --Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)

---

Unhappy the land that needs heroes.
     --Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)

---

Wer die Wahrheit nicht weiß, der ist bloß ein Dummkopf,
wer die Wahrheit weiß und nichts sagt, der ist ein Feigling oder
Parasit, aber wer die Wahrheit weiß und sie eine Lüge nennt,
der ist ein Verbrecher!
variant: Der, der nicht weiß ist ein idiot; der, der
    weiß und schweigt ist ein verbrecher.
    [The one who doesn't know the truth is merely a fool; the one who knows
    the truth and says nothing is a coward or parasite; but the one
    who knows the truth and calls it a lie is a criminal.]
     --Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)
          Leben des Galilei. Berlin: Suhrkamp, 1963, p.81

---

Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation.
     --Meyer Breslau (born mid-XIXth century)
        1880

---

In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise,
At a moment in my life when the world is new,
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me
To be brave and strong and true
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.


In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine,
At a moment in my life when the sky is blue,
And the blessing I shall ask will remain unchanging:
To be brave and strong and true
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.


In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due,
And the question I shall ask only I can answer:
Was I brave and strong and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?
     --Leslie Bricusse (born 1931)
          (lyrics), "Fill the World With Love", from the musical film
              Goodbye Mr Chips (1969)

---

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
overwhelm me.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

I take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

I waited and waited, and when nobody called, I knew it was from you.
    variant: I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it
        must have been from you.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the
wrong direction.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out
the truth.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you
hit the target.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
     --Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
          © Pot Shots epigrams, www.ashleighbrilliant.com/

---

Fiery energy lanced out, but the beams struck an intangible wall between
the Gubru and the rapidly turning Earth ship.


"Water!" it shrieked as it read the spectral report.
"A barrier of water vapor! A civilized race could not have found
such a trick in the Library! A civilized race could not have stooped so
low! A civilized race would not have . . ."


It screamed as the Gubru ship hit a cloud of drifting snowflakes.
     --David Brin [Glen David Brin, Ph.D.](born 1950)
          Startide Rising. New York: Bantam Books, 1983, p.440
          italics in source

---

It's said that "power corrupts", but actually it's more
true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are
usually attracted by other things than power. When they
do act, they think of it as service, which has limits.
The tyrant, though, seeks mastery, for which he is
insatiable, implacable.
     --David Brin [Glen David Brin](born 1950)
          The Postman, 1997 film

---

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks
that others throw at him or her.
     --David Brinkley (1920-2003)

---

The human heart has hidden treasures -- in secret kept, in silence sealed.
     --Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855)
          "Evening Solace" (1846), in J.C. Squire (Editor).
          A Book of Women's Verse, 1921

---

Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, Laughed in the sun, and kissed
the lovely grass.
     --Rupert Brooke [Rupert Chawner Brooke](1887-1915)

---

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made
us more attractive?
     --Albert Brooks (born 1947)

---

You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside
yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer your
desire to get what you crave. Success leads to the greatest failure,
which is pride. Failure leads to the greatest success, which is
humility and learning. In order to fulfil yourself, you have to forget
yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.
     --David Brooks (born 1961)
          The Road To Character. New York: Random House, 2015, p.xii

---

All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially
attracts those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps
the hundreds of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually
focus on the end goal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young,
programmers are younger, and the young are always optimists. But however
the selection process works, the result is indisputable: "This time it
will surely run," or "I just found the last bug."
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, p.14

---

The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program
documentation.
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, p.167

---

How does a project get to be a year late? . . . One day at a time.
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, p.153 (italics and ellipsis in source)

---

The hypothesis:
Amid a wash of paper, a small number of documents become the critical
pivots around which every project's management revolves. These are the
manager's chief personal tools.
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, Chapter 10

---

The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure
thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by
exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so
easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand
conceptual structures.
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, p.7

---

The tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long
time to come. One can expect the human race to continue attempting systems
just within or just beyond our reach; and software systems are perhaps the
most intricate and complex of man's handiworks. The management of this
complex craft will demand our best use of new languages and systems, our
best adaptation of proven engineering management methods, liberal doses
of common sense, and a God-given humility to recognize our fallibility and
limitations.
     --Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
          The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
          Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, Epilogue, p.177

---

When you see all the things you've believed in since you were a kid
being challenged and questioned, you begin to wonder if your life
[has] had any meaning [at all].
     --James L. Brooks (born 1940)
          et al., Room 222, TV series, "Fathers and Sons",
          19 November 1969 (seen in rerun 10 June 1970), spoken by Dr Charles Garrett
          (William Schallert), Grady's father.

---

Between projects I go to the park and bite the grass and wail, "Why
do you make me aware of the fact that I have to die one day?"
God says, "Please, I have Chinese people yelling at me, I haven't time
for this." I say all right. God is like a Jewish waiter, he has
too many tables.
     --Mel Brooks (born 1926)

---

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
     --Mel Brooks (born 1926)

---

Missed it by that much.
     --Mel Brooks (born 1926)
        and Buck Henry (born 1930)
          Get Smart, TV series, 1965-1970
          spoken (often) by Maxwell Smart (Don Adams)

---

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to
govern but impossible to enslave.
     --Henry Brougham [Lord Henry Peter Brougham. 1st Baron Brougham and Vaux](1778-1868)

---

The ability to make love frivolously is the chief characteristic
which distinguishes human beings from beasts.
     --Heywood Broun [Heywood Campbell Broun Jr](1888-1939)

---

Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger
will become a vegetarian.
     --Heywood Broun [Heywood Campbell Broun Jr](1888-1939)

---

The truth shall set you free, but a good lie will keep you out of
jail in the first place.
     --A. Whitney Brown [Alan Whitney Brown](born 1952)

---

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it
is a complete substitute for life.
     --Andrew Brown (born 1964)

---

They came for the Panthers, and I said nothing,
    because I was not a Panther.
They came for the Black man, and I said nothing,
    because I was not Black.
They came for the students, and I said nothing,
    because I was not a student.
Then they came for the liberals, and I said nothing
    because I was not a liberal.
And when they came for me,
    I looked around and said nothing,
    because I was alone.
     --Elaine Brown (born 1943)
        Black Panther Party chairperson, published in
        L.A. Free Press, 19 December 1969; paraphrase of similar piece
        attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)

---

The toughest thing about raising kids is convincing them you have
seniority.
     --Gene Brown

---

Never deprive someone of hope. It might be all they have.
     --H. Jackson Brown Jr (born 1940)
          Life's Little Instruction Book.
          Nashville TN: Rutledge Hill Press, 1991

---

Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.
     --H. Jackson Brown Jr (born 1940)
          Life's Little Instruction Book.
          Nashville TN: Rutledge Hill Press, 1991

---

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and say, "Why do you want to know?"
     --H. Jackson Brown Jr (born 1940)

---

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love.
The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
     --Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)
        speech, 28 August 1982

---

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
     --Sam Brown Jr (born 1943)
          Washington Post, 26 January 1977

---

We wish genius and morality were affectionate companions, but it is a fact
that they are often bitter enemies.
     --Charles Farrar Browne (1834-1867)
        writing as Artemus Ward in the Cleveland Plain Dealer,
        later published in Charles Farrar Browne. The Complete Works of Artemus
        Ward. New York: G.W.Carleton/London: Chatto & Windus, 1875

---

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a
thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
     --Dik Browne (1917-1989)
          "Hagar the Horrible", syndicated newspaper comic strip

---

Best be yourself, imperial, plain and true!
     --Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

---

The child's sob in the silence curses deeper than the strong man in
his wrath.
     --Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

---

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp -- or what's a heaven for?
     --Robert Browning (1812-1889)

---

Every joy is gain. And gain is gain, however small.
     --Robert Browning (1812-1889)
          Paracelsus, Part IV. London: Effingham Wilson, Royal Exchange, 1835

---

That's the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first fine careless rapture!
     --Robert Browning (1812-1889)
          "Home Thoughts, From Abroad", from Dramatic Romances and
          Lyrics, 1840-1845. London: W. Scott, 1897

---

There may be heaven; there must be hell.
     --Robert Browning (1812-1889)
          "Time's Revenges",
          The Poems & Plays of Robert Browning, Volume II, 1844-1864.
          London: J.M. Dent & Sons, 1906, pp.103-104

---

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the
viciousness.
     --Lenny Bruce [Leonard Alfred Schneider](1926-1966)

---

Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right
to say "fuck the government"
     --Lenny Bruce [Leonard Alfred Schneider](1926-1966)

---

I used to be superstitious, but then I learned it was bad luck.
    variant: It's bad luck to be superstitious.
     --Steven Brust [Steven Karl Zoltán Brust](born 1955)
          Agyar. New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 1993, p.111

---

I'm building a reputation for honesty so I can blow it on something
really big. This isn't it.
     --Steven Brust [Steven Karl Zoltán Brust](born 1955)
          Phoenix. New York: Ace Books, 1990
          spoken by Vladimir Taltos

---

No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulderblades will
seriously cramp his style.
     --Steven Brust [Steven Karl Zoltán Brust](born 1955)
          Jhereg (from in the Vlad Taltos series). New York: Ace Books, 1983

---

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
     --William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)

---

I worship the quicksand he walks in.
     --Art Buchwald (1925-2007)

---

All adventure is now reactionary.
     --William F. Buckley Jr (1925-2008)

---

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become
prohibitive.
     --William F. Buckley Jr (1925-2008)

---

Be your own light, be your own refuge. Have no other refuge.
Let the truth be your light.
     --The Buddha [Siddhartha Gautama Buddha](c.563-c.483 BCE)
          advice to the Venerable Ananda, and his other followers, on his death-bed
          from the Mahaparinibbana Sutta of the Pali Canon
          as quoted in Hermann Oldenberg. Buddha, Sein Leben, seine Lehre,
          seine Gemeinde (Buddha: His Life, His Doctrine, His
          Order, translated from German by William Hoey). London: Williams and
          Norgate, 1882, p.338

---

Personally examine and verify by experience anything that a guru
may tell you.
     --The Buddha [Gautama Buddha](c.563-c.483 BCE)
          as quoted by Alex Bunard, "How to recognize enlightenment",
          alexbunard.freeservers.com/reality/recognize.html

---

What
we have done
will not
be lost
to all eternity
Everything ripens
at its time
and becomes fruit
at its hour.
     --Buddhist wisdom
          Divyavadana, or Divine Stories, c.IInd century CE, an anthology
          of Buddhist fables

---

If you expect to open a can of worms you'd best trouble to pack a
can-opener.
     --Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)
          Memory. Riverdale NY: Baen Books, 1996, Chapter 15
          spoken by Lord Auditor Miles Vorkosigan

---

The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart.
     --Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)
          Memory. Riverdale NY: Baen Books, 1996, Chapter 15
          spoken by Lord Auditor Miles Vorkosigan

---

Before you kill something make sure you have something better to
replace it with; something better than political opportunist
slamming hate horseshit in the public park.
     --Henry Charles Bukowski [Heinrich Karl Bukowski](1920-1994)
          Notes of a Dirty Old Man. San Francisco: City Lights Books, 1969

---

Most of us are born geniuses and die idiots.
     --Henry Charles Bukowski [Heinrich Karl Bukowski](1920-1994)

---

Some people never go crazy.
What truly horrible lives they must lead.
     --Henry Charles Bukowski [Heinrich Karl Bukowski](1920-1994)
          from his poem "Some People"

---

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
     --Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)

---

Man's great guilt does not lie in the sins that he commits,
for temptation is great and his strength limited.
Man's great guilt lies in the fact that he can turn away from
evil at any moment -- and yet he does not.
     --Rabbi Bunam of Pzhysha (1765-1827)
          recounted in Martin Buber (1878-1965). Tales of the Hasidim,
          New York: Schocken Books, 1947

---

God and Country are an unbeatable team;
they break all records for oppression and bloodshed.
     --Luis Buñuel [Luis Buñuel Portolés](1900-1983)

---

It is well for people who think, to change their minds occasionally
in order to keep them clean.
     --Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

---

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and
have one's doubts.
     --G.B. Burgin [George Brown Burgin](1856-1944)

---

An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and
impossible to be silent.
     --Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

---

It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and
justice tell me I ought to do.
     --Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

---

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to
do nothing.
     --Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

---

To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.
     --Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

---

Jiminy H. Crickets III Jr . . . for once in your life, take a little
risk. . . . What's livin' if you never pull your shorts down and slide
on the ice? . . . (I heard my uncle say that to my dad once, and I
immediately fell in love with the phrase. It's great imagery, you
know? Ice, shorts at your ankles . . .)
     --Tom Burkhard
          Even Stevens, TV series, "Band on the Roof", 3 May 2002
          spoken by Louis Stevens (Shia La Beouf) when his sister doesn't want to
          break the school rules by having their band perform on the school roof;
          the episode is played as a "rockumentary"; the portion of
          the quote in parentheses is spoken by Louis as if being interviewed
          for the rockumentary, whereas the main quote is part of the "real
          life" sequences
          (See similar quote by photographer Diane Arbus [1923-1971], also used
          in M*A*S*H, TV series, "O.R.", 8 October 1974,
          spoken by Maj. (Dr) Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus)[NOTE: Diane Arbus was
          Allan Arbus's first wife (in real life), married 1941 divorced 1969]

---

Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood and probably
themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and
work. . . . Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things
that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon
beauty.
     --Daniel Burnham [Daniel Hudson Burnham](1846-1912)
          these thoughts were expressed in a paper Burnham presented to the Town
          Planning Conference in London in 1910, and written in this form by
          Burnham's partner, Willis Polk and used on a Christmas Card after
          Burnham's death [source: Suzy Platt, Editor. Respectfully Quoted: A
          Dictionary of Quotations. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1993, p.256]

---

Don't stay in bed . . . unless you can make money in bed.
     --George Burns (1896-1996)

---

Gie me ae spark o' Nature's fire,
That's a' the learning I desire.
     --Robert Burns (1759-1796)
          "First Epistle to J. Lapraik", 1785

---

O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion.
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us
An' ev'n Devotion
     --Robert Burns (1759-1796)
          "To a Louse, on Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church", 1785

---

I am much less interested in what is called God's word, than in
God's deeds. All bibles are man-made.
     --John Burroughs (1837-1921)
          "Religious Contrasts: Letters of Pantheist and a Churchman",
          The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 128 Number 4, October 1921, p.520
          final phrase often [mis-]attributed to Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

---

I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be
liked by all the people around them. I don't care if people hate my guts;
I assume most of them do. The important question is: 'What are they in a
position to do about it?'
     --William S. Burroughs [William Seward Burroughs](1914-1997)

---

Love? What is it? Most natural pain killer what there is. LOVE.
     --William S. Burroughs [William Seward Burroughs](1914-1997)
          Final Journal entry, 1 August 1997, the day before he died

---

What a dreary prospect! [a drug-free America} . . . No dope fiends, just
good, clean-living decent Americans from sea to shining sea. How I hate
those who are dedicated to producing conformity.
     --William S. Burroughs [William Seward Burroughs](1914-1997)
          Journal entry, 31 May 1997

---

I spent thirty-three years in the Marines, most of my time being a
high-class muscle man for big business, for Wall Street and the bankers.
In short, I was a racketeer for capitalism.
     --Gen. Smedley Butler [Smedley Darlington Butler](1881-1940)
        United States Marine Corps
          War is a Racket. New York: Round Table Press, 1935

---

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
     --Nicholas Murray Butler (1862-1947)

---

All progress is based on the universal innate desire on the part of
every organism to live beyond its income.
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

---

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense
to know how to lie well.
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
          Henry Festing Jones (Editor). The Notebooks of Samuel Butler.
          London: A.C. Fifield, 1912

---

It must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case.
God has written all the books.
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
          Henry Festing Jones (Editor). The Notebooks of Samuel Butler,
          London: A.C. Fifield, 1912, Part XIV, "An Apology for The Devil"

---

Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven.
Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
          Henry Festing Jones (Editor). The Notebooks of Samuel Butler.
          London: A.C. Fifield, 1912

---

Nothing is potent against love save impotence.
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

---

Time is the only true purgatory.
     --Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

---

I used to have this happy feeling about books and about
knowledge, that there was nothing I couldn't learn, but
now there are so many things I don't understand and
don't know if I will ever be able to understand. So it
seems I can't just study and figure out all the things I
want to know, and that there are some problems people are
simply supposed to struggle with, just struggle with until
the struggling itself works its way into some kind of answer.
     --William Butler
          The Butterfly Revolution. London: Peter Owen, 1961, pp.206-207
          --spoken by Winston Weyn at age 13

---

So, we marched. We marched up the meadow, then down the meadow,
then across the meadow, then around the meadow. Two hours of
left, right, left, right, squad halt!, one, two, look sharp,
forward, ho, hup, hup, in step, count, three, four, halt!
One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, hup,
hup, hup, hup! Boy, it sure is good for people, this stuff.
Really wonderful training. If this is how they make men,
then all I can say is that it's pretty simple to make men,
and doesn't require much more of God than
that to get through Kindergarten.
     --William Butler
          The Butterfly Revolution. London: Peter Owen, 1961, p.153

---

Complete this sentence: I never met a man I didn't like. . .
    a. to cheat.
    b. at first.
    c. to avoid.
    d. better than you.
     --Robert Byrne (born 1928)

---

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of
expense and aggravation later in life.
     --Robert Byrne (born 1928)

---

The purpose of life is a life of purpose
     --Robert Byrne (born 1928)

---

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start
and so on.
     --Robert Byrne (born 1928)

---

The drying up a single tear has more
Of honest fame than shedding seas of gore.
     --Lord Byron [George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron](1788-1824)
          Don Juan, Canto VIII Stanza 3, 1823

---

He who will not reason, is a bigot; he who cannot, is a fool; and he who
dares not, is a slave.
     --Lord Byron [George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron](1788-1824)

---

Who would be free themselves must strike the blow.
     --Lord Byron [George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron](1788-1824)

---

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true.
     --James B. Cabell [James Branch Cabell](1879-1958)
          The Silver Stallion: A Comedy of Redemption.
          New York: R.M. McBride, 1926

---

Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is
more important than fear.
     --Meg Cabot [Meggin Patricia Cabot](born 1967)
          The Princess Diaries. New York: Harper Trophy, 2000
          also 2001 Disney film (by the same name)

---

If we find the job where we can be of use, we are hitched
to the star of the world and move with it.
     --Richard Clarke Cabot (1868-1939)

---

It's not the winners who write history, it's the neighbors.
     --Michael Cadnum (born 1949)

---

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain
the second time around.
     --Herb Caen (1916-1997)

---

It is a general human weakness to allow things uncertain
and unknown to set us up in hope or plunge us into fear.
     --Gaius Julius Caesar (100-44 BCE)

---

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.
I'm frightened of the old ones.
     --John Cage [John Milton Cage Jr](1912-1992)
          quoted in Richard Kostelanetz. Conversing with Cage.
          New York: Limelight Editions, 1987

---

James Bond: It's too easy.
Alec Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck, James.
James Bond: And the other half?
Alec Trevelyan: Fate.
     --Jeffrey Caine (born 1944)
        and Bruce Feirstein [Bruce Jon Feirstein](born mid-XXth century)
          GoldenEye, 1995 film

---

There is only one trait that marks the writer. He is always watching.
It's kind of a trick of mind and he is born with it.
     --Morley Callaghan (1903-1990)

---

For Scripture is the school of the Holy Spirit, in which, as nothing is
omitted that is both necessary and useful to know, so nothing is taught
but what is expedient to know. Therefore we must guard against depriving
believers of anything disclosed about predestination in Scripture, lest
we seem either wickedly to defraud them of the blessing of their God
or to accuse and scoff at the Holy Spirit for having published
what it is in any way profitable to suppress.
     --John Calvin (1509-1564)

---

Nothing is too hard for him who loves.
     --John Calvin (1509-1564)
          quoted by Paul Henry (translated from the German by Henry Stebbing).
          The Life and Times of John Calvin, the Great Reformer, Volume 1.
          London: Whittaker and Co., 1849, p.449
          often (perhaps correctly?) attributed to Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)

---

When I gave food to the poor, they called me a saint.
When I asked why the poor were hungry, they called me a communist.
     --Dom Hélder Câmara [Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara](1909-1999)
        Roman Catholic Archbishop of Olinda and Recife in Brazil

---

Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver): I say we take off and nuke the
    entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Pvt Hudson (Bill Paxton): Fuckin' A!
     --James Cameron [James Francis Cameron](born 1954)
          Aliens, 1986 film

---

An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
     --Simon Cameron (1799-1889)
          quoted in Allen Johnson. Chronicles of America Series.
          Cambridge MA: Yale University Press, 1918

---

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that
counts can be counted.
     --William Bruce Cameron (born early XXth century)
          Informal Sociology. New York: Random House, 1963
          often attributed to Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
     --Henry N. Camp

---

Never belive your teachers, preacher, or parents. Not necessarily in that
order.
     --Dr D.G. Campbell

---

I'm not a teacher, I'm an evangelist of learning.
     --Dr W. Gardner Campbell (born mid-XXth century)

---

It becomes so important that we don't talk about it.
     --Dr W. Gardner Campbell (born mid-XXth century)

---

Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die.
     --John W. Campbell [John Wood Campbell Jr](1910-1971)
          attributed, unsourced

---

[George Lucas, in Star Wars (1977 and sequels and prequels)] has
put the newest and most powerful spin [on the classic "hero"
story]. . . . It's what Goethe said in Faust but which Lucas
has dressed in modern idiom -- the message that technology is not going
to save us. Our computers, our tools, our machines are not enough.
We have to rely on our intuition, our true being.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, pp.xiv [Introduction];
          Campbell expands on this idea in "Joseph Campbell on Star Wars",
          (Gregg Rickman, Editor. The Science Fiction Film Reader. New York:
          Proscenium Publishers, 2004, p.227): "What a wonderful power the machine
          gives you -- but is it going to dominate you? That's the problem of Goethe's
          Faust. It's in the last two acts of Faust, Part Two. His pact with
          Mephistopheles, the man who can furnish you the means to do anything you
          want. He's the machine manufacturer. He can manufacture the bombs, but can
          he give you what the human spirit wants and needs? He can't."

---

God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human
categories of thought. . . . In the Kena Upanishad [Kenopanishad]
it says very clearly, already in the VII century B.C., 'That to which
words and thoughts do not reach. The tongue has never soiled it with
a name.' , , , The accent in Hinduism and Buddhism is the relevance
of the symbolic forms [mythological images] to the transformation of
your own life, and you understand these as references inward, to
yourself. . . . In the Jewish and Christian traditions, the accent is
on the historical [literal] understanding of the terms, of the
images. . . . There's [only] one mythology in the world, and it has
inflected in the various cultures in terms of their historical and social
circumstances, and needs and particular local ethic systems, but it's one
mythology. [Campbell, using James Joyce's term from Finnegan's
Wake (New York: Viking, 1939), refers to this phenomenon as a
"monomyth".]
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Hero's Journey, 1987 film (DVD, 2003)

---

A god outgrown becomes immediately a life-destroying demon.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Hero With a Thousand Faces. New York: Pantheon Books, 1949

---

I've lived through the twentieth century, and I know what I was told as
a boy about a people who weren't yet and never had been our enemies.
In order to represent them as potential enemies, and to justify our
attack upon them, a campaign of hatred, misrepresentation, and
denigration was launched, of which the echoes ring to this day.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, pp.211-212

---

If the person doesn't listen to the demands of his own spiritual and
heart life, and insists on a certain program, you're going to have a
schizophrenic crack-up. The person has put himself off-center. He has
aligned himself with a programmatic life, and it's not the one the
body's interested in at all. The world is full of people who have
stopped listening to themselves. In my own life I've had many
opportunities to commit myself to a system, and to go with it, and to
obey its requirements. My life has been that of a maverick. I would
not submit.
    variant: If the person insists on a certain program, and
    doesn't listen to the demands of his own heart, he's going to risk
    a schizophrenic crackup. Such a person has put himself off center.
    He has aligned himself with a program for life, and it's not the one
    the body's interested in at all. The world is full of people who
    have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their
    neighbors to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave,
    and what the values are that they should be living for.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth ("The Hero's
          Adventure"), PBS Special hosted by Bill Moyers, 1988;
          variant is from Campbell. The Power of Myth. New York:
          Doubleday, 1988, p.147

---

It's quite possible to be so influenced by the ideals and commands
of your neighborhood [i.e., the people around you in your life]
that you don't know what you really want and could be. I think that
anyone brought up in an extremely strict, authoritative social
situation is unlikely ever to come to the knowledge of himself.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, pp.143

---

[p.140]: Desire and fear: these are the two emotions by which all life
in the world is governed.
[p.218]: When life comes into being, it is neither afraid nor desiring,
it is just becoming. Then it gets into being, and it begins to be afraid
and desiring. When you can get rid of fear and desire and just get
back to where you're becoming, you've hit the spot. . . . The goal of
your quest for knowledge of yourself is to be found at that burning
point in yourself, that becoming thing in yourself, which is innocent
of the goods and evils of the world as already become, and therefore
desireless and fearless.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, pp.140, 218

---

People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. . . .
I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that
our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance
within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the
rapture of being alive. That's what it's all finally about, and that's what
these clues [myths] help us to find within ourselves.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, p.5;
          also in the PBS special, Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth,
          1988, Episode 2, Chapter 4

---

There is a Muslim saying, . . . "When the Angel of Death approaches,
he is terrible. When he reaches you, it is bliss."
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, p.222

---

There's no danger in interpreting the symbols of a religious system
and calling them metaphors instead of facts. What that does is to turn
them into messages for your own inward experience and life. The system
suddenly becomes a personal experience.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, pp.218-219

---

[The] computer . . . seems to me to be an Old Testament god with a
lot of rules and no mercy.
     --Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
          The Power of Myth. New York: Doubleday, 1988, p.18

---

Does it matter what these affectionate people do -- so long as they don't
do it in the street and frighten the horses.
     --Mrs Patrick Campbell [Beatrice Stella Tanner/Mrs Pat](1865-1940)
          quoted in Alan Dent. Mrs Patrick Campbell. London: Museum Press, Ltd,
          1961, p.78, reportedly her response to a young actress who was complaining
          that the leading man was showing too much affection to another male actor

---

Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom -- you never want to do
it, but it really does create a more pleasant experience for you and your
guests.
     --Ryan Campbell
          "Successful Strategies for Commenting Code", 1 August 2005

---

Tune thy music to thine heart
Sing thy joy with thanks, and so thy sorrow.
Though Devotion needs not Art,
Sometimes of the poor the rich may borrow.
Strive not yet for curious ways,
Concord pleaseth more the less 'tis strained.
Zeal affects not outward praise,
Only strives to show a love unfeigned.
Love can wondrous things effect,
Sweetest sacrifice, all wrath appeasing.
Love the Highest doth respect,
Love alone to Him is ever pleasing.
Tune thy music to thine heart
Sing thy joy with thanks, and so thy sorrow.
     --Thomas Campion (1567-1620)

---

Death means nothing to men like me. It's the event that proves them right.
     --Albert Camus (1913-1960)
          La peste [The Plague]. Paris: Gallimard, 1947 [translated
          from the French by Stuart Gilbert. London: Hamish Hamilton, 1948], Part 2
          spoken by Monsieur Tarrou

---

I withdrew from the world not because I had enemies,
but because I had friends. Not because they did me
an ill turn, as is customary, but because they thought me
better than I am. It was a lie I could not endure.
     --Albert Camus (1913-1960)
          Notebooks, 1942-1951. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1963
          [translations vary slightly among editions]

---

Intellectuel = celui qui se dèdouble. Ça me plaît.
Je suis content d'être les deux.
[An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. I like that.
I am happy to be both.]
     --Albert Camus (1913-1960)
          Carnets, Livre I, 1935-42. Paris: Gallimard, 1962, p.41

---

Liberty is the right not to lie.
     --Albert Camus (1913-1960)

---

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to
be normal.
     --Albert Camus (1913-1960)

---

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots
her under a jointly shared umbrella.
     --Jimmy Cannon (1909-1973)

---

The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of a pack of trolls.
     --Robert F. Capon [Father Robert Farrar Capon](1925-2013)
          The Supper of the Lamb: A Culinary Reflection. Garden City NY:
          Doubleday, 1969, p.4

---

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
     --Al Capone [Alphonse Gabriel Capone/Al 'Scarface' Capone](1899-1947)

---

I don't even know what street Canada is on.
     --Al Capone [Alphonse Gabriel Capone/Al 'Scarface' Capone](1899-1947)

---

When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging, but when my patrons serve
it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
     --Al Capone [Alphonse Gabriel Capone/Al 'Scarface' Capone](1899-1947)
          quoted in Douglas Deuchler. Cicero Revisited. Charleston SC:
          Arcadia Publishing, 2006, p.51

---

Buyer: Goodness, woman, you can get another one!
Seller: I doubt it. There are never two of anything.
     --Truman Capote (1924-1984)
        Trilogy, 1969 film

---

If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd
every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side.
     --Orson Scott Card (born 1951)

---

In order to learn, one must change one's mind.
     --Orson Scott Card (born 1951)

---

The only people who ever prize purity of ignorance are those who profit
from a monopoly on knowledge.
     --Orson Scott Card (born 1951)

---

The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the
development time. The remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the
other 90 percent of the development time.
    variant: The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time.
        The last 10% of a project takes 90% of the time.
     --Tom Cargill (born mid-XXth century)
        Bell Laboratories
          quoted in Jon Bentley. "Programming Pearls", Communications of
          the ACM [Association for Computing Machinery]. Volume 28 Number 9,
          1985, pp.896-901 (NOTE: the numbers -- 90/90 and 10/90 apparently are
          correctly quoted, despite the fact one might expect 90/10 and 10/90; they
          are quoted thus in several additional published sources; as noted in
          en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninety-ninety_rule#cite_note-Bentley1985-0:
          "That the total development time sums to 180% is a wry allusion to the
          notorious tendency of software development projects to significantly
          overrun their original schedules.")

---

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper,
less crowded, and has a better view.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good
American because I like to form my own opinions.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Just cause you got the monkey off your back
doesn't mean the circus has left town.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

The only good thing that ever came out of religion was the music.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the
recent past.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

We will never be an advanced civilization as long as
rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do
freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
     --George Carlin (1937-2008)

---

As the Swiss inscription says, Sprechen ist silbern, Schweigen ist golden
[Speech is silver, Silence is golden]; or, as I might rather
express it, Speech is of Time, Silence is of Eternity.
     --Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
          Sartor Resartus [The Tailor Re-Tailored], Book III Chapter 3, 1836

---

Be not a slave of words.
     --Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

---

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.
They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make
fun of it.
     --Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
          Remark in David Alec Wilson. Carlyle at his Zenith (1848-53.
          London: K. Paul, Trench, Trubner & Co./New York: E.P. Dudton & Co., 1927

---

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do.
     --Dale Carnegie [Dale Breckenridge Carnagey](1888-1955)

---

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a
cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from
full-fledged Christian.
     --Adam Carolla [Adam Lakers Carolla](born 1964)
          Details magazine, October 1997, p.78

---

Somebody once said that they like to sing sad songs because it makes them
feel brave, and whatever motivates you is fine.
     --Mary Chapin Carpenter (born 1958)

---

Imitation is the sincerest form of plagarism.
     --Jim Carrey [James Eugene Carrey](born 1962)
          Late Night With David Letterman, 20 May 2003
          in reference to Dumb and Dumberer, 2003 film which was a sequel
          (not involving Carrey) to Dumb and Dumber (1993), in which Carrey
          starred with Jeff Daniels -- though some sources claim Carrey said the
          usual "flattery", not "plagiarism"; whether this
          reference is accurate, Carrey was probably not the first to say these
          words, as the quote appears in usenet posts that predate even the 1993 film

---

But I was thinking of a plan, To dye one's whiskers green.
     --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson](1832-1898)
          Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There.
          London: Macmillan, 1871, from the song "Haddock's Eyes" in
          Chapter VIII: "It's My Own Invention"
          sung by the White Knight

---

"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it
might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.
Thats logic."
     --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson](1832-1898)
          Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There. London:
          Macmillan, 1871, Chapter IV: Tweedledum and Tweedledee

---

Courtesy [Curtsey] while you're thinking what to say. It saves time.
     --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson](1832-1898)
          Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There.
          London: Macmillan, 1871, Chapter II: "The Garden of Live Flowers"
          spoken by the Red Queen

---

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
     --Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson](1832-1898)
          Alice's Adventures in Wonderland [Alice's Adventures Under
          Ground]. London: Macmillan, 1865, Chapter IX: "The Mock Turtle's Story"
          spoken by the Duchess

---

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder . . . he needs the
companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering
with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
     --Rachel Carson [Rachel Louise Carson](1907-1964)
          The Sense of Wonder. New York: Harper & Row, 1956/1965, p.45

---

I will never lie to you.
    variant: I will never lie to you (baby boo).
     --Jimmy Carter [James Earl Carter](born 1924)
        39th president of the United States of America
          announcing his candidacy for the 1976 Democratic nomination,
          quoted in Wayne King, "Carter Redux", New York Times
          10 December 1989;
          variant sourced to Gerald 'Nasty Twin' Isaac (born late XXth
          century) in lyrics to "Never", song from Mario Dewar Barrett's
          album Mario, 2002

---

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,
and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became
a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
     --Dr Matt Cartmill
        Boston University professor, Department of Anthropology
          "Why I became a scientist", American Scientist, 76:452, 1988

---

And though hard be the task, "Keep a stiff upper lip."
     --Phoebe Cary (1824-1871)
          quoted in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations. New York: Little,
          Brown and Company, 10th edition, 1919

---

Where all your rights have become only an accumulated wrong,
where men must beg with bated breath for leave to subsist in their
own land, to think their own thoughts, to sing their own songs, to
gather the fruits of their own labors, and, even while they beg,
to see things inexorably withdrawn from them then, surely, it is a
braver, a saner and a truer thing to be a rebel, in
act and deed, against such circumstances as these, than to tamely
accept it, as the natural lot of men.
     --Roger Casement (1864-1916)

---

There are those who do not imitate,
Who cannot imitate
But then there are those who emulate
At times, to expand further the light
Of an original glow.
Knowing that to imitate the living
Is mockery
And to imitate the dead
Is robbery.


There are those
Who are beings complete unto themselves
Whole, undaunted -- a source
As leaves of grass, as stars,
As mountains, alike, alike, alike,
Yet unalike
Each is complete and contained
And each unalike star shines
Each ray of light is forever gone
To leave way for a new ray
And a new ray as from a fountain
Complete unto itself, full, flowing.
So are some souls like stars
And their words, works and songs
Like strong, quick flashes of light
From a brilliant, erupting cone.
So where are your mountains
To match some men?
     --Johnny Cash (1932-2003)
          from "On Bob Dylan", 1969, liner notes for "Nashville Skyline" album

---

O MISELLE PASSER
TUA NUNC OPERA MEAE PUELLAE
FLENDO TURGIDULI RUBENT OCELLI
     --Catullus [Gaius Valerius Catullus](c.84-c.54 BCE)
          III (16-18)

---

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable
to dispense it.
     --Dick Cavett [Richard Alva Cavett](born 1936)
          Playboy, 1971

---

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
     --Katherine Cebrian (born early-XXth cent)

---

The poetry of heroism appeals irresitibly to those who don't go to a war,
and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy.
     --Louis-Ferdinand Céline [Louis Ferdinand Auguste Destouches](1894-=1961)

---

You show me a man with pride, and I'll show you a man with
limited options.
     --Jennifer Celotta [Jennifer Ann Celotta](born 1971)
          Malcolm in the Middle, TV series, "Living Will", 6 March 2005
          spoken by Reese (Justin Berfield) as he is teaching Craig Feldspar
          (Dave Higgins) about "dirty fighting"

---

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.
     --Bennett Cerf (1898-1971)

---

Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man's nose begins.
    variant: The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's
    nose begins.
     --Zechariah Chafee Jr (1885-1957)
          "Freedom of Speech in War Time", Harvard Law Review,
          Volume 32 Number 8, June 1919, p.957
          often attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

---

The most utterly lost of all days, is that in which
you have not once laughed.
     --Nicolas Chamfort [Sébastien-Roch Nicolas](1741-1794)

---

The only thing that stops God sending a second Flood is that the first
one was useless.
     --Nicolas Chamfort [Sébastien-Roch Nicolas](1741-1794)

---

A philosopher told me that, having examined the civil and political
order of societies, he now studied nothing except the savages in the
books of explorers, and children in everyday life.
     --Nicolas Chamfort [Sébastien-Roch Nicolas](1741-1794)

---

The streets were dark with something more than night.
     --Raymond Chandler [Raymond Thornton Chandler](1888-1959)

---

Television is just one more facet of that considerable segment of our
society that never had any standard but the soft buck.
     --Raymond Chandler [Raymond Thornton Chandler](1888-1959)
          Letter to Charles Morton, 22 November 1950, published in Tom Hiney and
          Frank MacShane (editors). The Raymond Chandler Papers: Selected Letters
          and Nonfiction, 1909-1959. London: Hamish Hamilton Ltd, 2000

---

Pour être irremplaçable, il faut être différent.
[In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.]
     --Coco Chanel [Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel](1883-1971)
          quoted in Marcel Haedrich. Coco Chanel secrète [Coco Chanel:
          Her Life, Her Secrets]. Paris: Laffont, 1971/Boston: Little, Brown and
          Company, 1972

---

Living is change. Growth is optional.
     --Juan Wa Chang

---

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should
therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could
hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to
declare war and they are screened at once from scrutiny. . . . In war,
then, as in peace, assert the freedom of speech and of the press.
Cling to this as the bulwark of all our rights and privileges.
     --Dr William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
        from a Sermon written during the War of 1812 (1812-1815);
        in The Works of William E. Channing. Boston: James Munroe and
        Company [First complete American Edition], 1841

---

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage.
The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
     --Dr William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
          "Self-Culture", an address given in Boston, September 1838

---

No power in society, no hardship in your condition can depress you,
keep you down, in knowledge, power, virtue, influence, but by your
own consent.
    variant: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
     --Rev William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
          "Self-Culture" address delivered in Boston, 1838
          the variant is often credited to Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962),
          who expressed the sentiment (if not the words) on occasion

---

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury,
and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable,
and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently,
act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages,
with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await
occasions, never hurry. In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden
and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is my symphony.
     --William Henry Channing (1810-1884)
        My Symphony. New York: Barse & Hopkins, n.d. [c.1905]

---

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.
     --Maurice Chapelain (1905-1992)

---

In the end, everything is a gag.
     --Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

---

BBC Spokesman (on trial in court for inserting ads in
a documentary about Iceland): Popularity is what television is about.
Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of people accusing us of being
ratings-conscious.
Judge: Ratings-conscious?
Court Clerk (aside to the Judge): Transmitting bland garbage,
M'Lud.
Judge: Oh, thank you.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Episode 27: "Whicker's
          World", 19 October 1972

---

I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and
tired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this
country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not. And I'm
sick and tired of being told that I am.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Matching Tie and Handkerchief, Monty Python's Flying Circus comedy
          album, 1973; spoken by Graham Chapman

---

[In a show satirizing the mediocrity of television, two matronly women --
or rather, men in drag -- are watching programs in their living room]
Mrs Elizabeth III (Terry Jones): Yes, repeats or war films -- it
    really makes you want to micturate.
Mrs Mock Tudor (Graham Chapman): People on television treat the
    general public like idiots.
Mrs Elizabeth III: Well, we are idiots.
Mrs Mock Tudor: Oh no, we are not.
Mrs Elizabeth III: Well, I am.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Season 4 Episode 3:
          "The Light Entertainment War", 14 November 1974

---

In accordance with our principles of free enterprise and
healthy competition, I'm going to ask you two to fight to
the death for it.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Episode 30: "Blood,
          Devastation, Death, War and Horror", 1971, spoken by City Gent/Banker
          (John Cleese)

---

Mrs Big Nose (Gwen Taylor): Oh, it's blessed are the meek. Oh,
    I'm glad they're getting something; they have a hell of a time.
[elsewhere in the crowd] Spectator I (uncredited): I think it was
    "Blessed are the cheesemakers."
Mrs Gregory (Carol Cleveland): Aha, what's so special about the
    cheesemakers?
Gregory (Terence Bayler): Well, obviously it's not meant to be
    taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        with the rest of the Monty Python's Flying Circus troupe
          Monty Python's Life of Brian, 1979 film, spoken by people
          who are having difficulty hearing Jesus' Sermon on the Mount

---

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
    parody: Noooooobody expects the Spammish Repetition!
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Series 2 Episode 2 (Episode 15):
          "The Spanish Inquisition", 22 September 1970
          spoken by Cardinal Ximénez (Michael Palin)

---

Recruit: If it was possible for me to have my choice, I'd prefer
    to be in the Women's Royal Army Corps.
R.S.M.: Well, I'm afraid that the people that recruit here normally
    go straight into the Scots Guards.
Recruit: Which is all men, I suppose.
R.S.M.: Yes, it is.
Recruit: Yes. Are there any regiments which are more effeminate
    than others?
R.S.M.: Well no, sir. I mean, apart from the Marines, they're all
    dead butch.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
        et al.
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Episode 30: "Blood,
          Devastation, Death, War and Horror", 1971, spoken by Army recruit
          (Eric Idle) and Regimental Sergeant Major (Graham Chapman)

---

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a
system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate
from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
     --Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
          et al., Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975 film,
          spoken by Dennis the Peasant

---

A country free enough to examine its own conscience is a land worth
living in, a nation to be envied.
     --Charles, Prince of Wales [Charles Philip Arthur George](born 1948)

---

Television is democracy at its ugliest -- give the people what they want.
My rage isn't against television. It's against the dehumanization of
people.
     --Paddy Chayefsky [Sidney Aaron Chayefsky](1923-1981)
        commenting on his screenplay for Network (1976 film), quoted at
        www..imdb.com/name/nm0154665/bio

---

  I prefer to proceed toward infallibility at my own unhurried pace.
     --C.J. Cherryh [Carolyn Janice Cherry] (born 1942)
          Hunter of Worlds. Garden City NY: Doubleday, 1977
          spoken by Chimele, Orithain of the people of Ashanome

---

Cherryh's Law: No rule should be followed off a cliff.
     --C.J. Cherryh [Carolyn Janice Cherry] (born 1942)
          "Writerisms and Other Sins: A Writer's Shortcut to Stronger Writing"
          www.cherryh.com/www.advice.htm, 1995

---

If you're up against a smart opponent, make him think himself
to death.
    variant: If you're up against someone more intelligent than you
    are, do something totally insane and let him think himself to death.
     --C.J. Cherryh [Carolyn Janice Cherry] (born 1942)
          Chanur's Legacy. New York: DAW Books, 1992
          spoken by Pyanfar Chanur

---

Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies;
probably because they are generally the same people.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

Children are innocent and love justice, while most of us are wicked
and naturally prefer mercy.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)
          The Coloured Lands. London: Sheed and Ward, 1938
          quoted in Bruno Bettelheim. The Uses of Enchantment. New York:
          Alfred A. Knopf, 1976, p.144 [where he appears to credit it to
          Chesterton's Orthodoxy. London: John Lane, 1909]

---

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been
found difficult, and left untried.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)
          What's Wrong With the World. London: Cassell & Company/New York:
          Dodd, Mead and Company, 1910, Part One: "The Homelessness of
          Man", Ch. 5 : "The Unfinished Temple"

---

Coincidences are spiritual puns.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

[Father Brown, to Flambeau]: You attacked reason. . . . It's bad theology.
    variant: To downgrade the human mind is bad theology.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)
          "The Blue Cross", first published as "Valentin Follows a
          Curious Trail" in Saturday Evening Post, 23 June 1910; then
          under the revised title in The Storyteller, September 1910

---

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

I may not practice what I preach,
but God forbid I should preach what I practice.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

Journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people
who never knew Lord Jones was alive.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

"My country right or wrong" is like saying,
"My mother drunk or sober."
     --G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)

---

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim
he would not have chosen a suit by it.
     --Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972)

---

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
avoiding the beach.
     --Lucinda Childs (born 1940)
          Einstein On The Beach, 1976 opera by Philip Glass (born 1937)
          delivered by Lucinda Childs at the première

---

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Show him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.


    variants:


          Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.
          Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.


          Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish,
          and you drive up the price of bait & tackle and disrupt the local
          ecosystem.


          Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
          Teach him to use the Net, and he won't bother you for weeks.
              --Phil Proctor (born 1940)


          Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for one day. Teach a man
          to fish, and he'll stink for the rest of his life.
              --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)


          Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish,
          and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
              --Calvin Keegan


          Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Hit a man with a brick
          and you can have all his fish. And his wife.
              --Dave Jeser (born mid-XXth century) and Matthew Silverstein (born mid-XXth century)
                  Andy Richter Controls the Universe, TV series (Fox, 2002-2004),
                  "Charity Begins in Cell Block D", spoken by Mr Pickering (John Bliss)


          Give a man a fish: feed him for a day.
          Teach a man to fish: feed him for life.
          Teach a hundred men to fish: empty the lake of fish.


          Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a few hours.
          Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.


     --Chinese proverb
          quoted and discussed (without the variants) in Martin H. Manser.
          The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs, Second Edition.
          New York: Infobase Publishing, 2002/2007, p.101

---

If you think gay is contagious, then you're gay.
     --Margaret Cho [Margaret Moran Cho](born 1968)

---

As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action
arise, human science is at a loss.
     --Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928)
          Interview for British television, 30 March 1978, quoted in The Listener,
          6 April 1978

---

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
     --Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928)
          Logical Structures of Linguistic Theory. New York: Plenum Press,
          1955/1975; also Syntactic Structures. The Hague/Paris: Mouton,
          1957, p.15; Chomsky presented this as an example of a sentence that
          was syntactially correct and, at the same time, completely meaningless

---

It is the fundamental duty of the citizen to resist and to restrain the
violence of the state.
     --Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928)
          "Preface", in John Duffett, Editor. Against the Crime of Silence:
          Proceedings. Stockholm and Roskilde, Denmark: International War Crimes
          Tribunal, 1967
              variant: It is the first responsibility of every citizen to
                  question authority. --widely attributed to Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790),
                  unsourced

---

Resistance is feasible even for those who are not heroes by nature,
and it is an obligation, I believe, for those who fear the consequences
and detest the reality of the attempt to impose American hegemony.
     --Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928)
          Response to a critique of his essay "On Resistance" by Chad Walsh
          and William X, both viewpoints published as "An Exchange on Resistance",
          New York Review of Books, 1 February 1968

---

The Great Way makes no claim to greatness.
The Great Argument requires no words.
[Therefore] Ways that display themselves are not the Way
Words that argue miss the point.
     --Chuang Tzu [Zhuangzi](c.IV century BCE)
          The Reconciliation of Controversies and
          The Great Ancestral Teacher

---

Take for instance, a twig and a pillar, or the ugly person and the great
beauty, and all the strange and monstrous transformations. These are all
leveled by Tao. Division is the same as creation; creation is the same
as destruction.
     --Chuang Tzu [Zhuangzi](c.IV century BCE)
          quoted in Lin Yutang. The Wisdom of China and India.
          New York: Random House, 1942
          variant: Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
              [widely attributed to Pablo Picasso (1881-1973), though there is no
              evidence nor record that he actually said this]

---

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and
any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute talk with the average
voter.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

I am bored with it all.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          last words, on his deathbed, 24 January 1965

---

I hate [Nazis] because they frown when they fight. They are grim and
dull-faced. They don't go into battle with a song in their hearts. Now
take our magnificent RAF lads. They grin when they fight. I like a man
who grins when he fights.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          in dinner conversation at Chequers, 26 July 1941, according to Michael
          Fullilove. Rendezvous With Destiny. New York: Penguin Press, 2013,
          Chapter 6; also sourced as a luncheon remark in 1941, as recalled by
          Quentin Reynolds. All About Winston Churchill. London: W.H. Allen, 1964

---

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

If you're going through hell, keep going.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

A joke is a very serious thing.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance
to get its pants on.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves
up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
    variant: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
        but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          quoted in Dominique Enright, Editor. The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill.
          London: Michael O'Mara Books Ltd., 2001
              variant: He hasn't one redeeming vice.
                  --attributed to Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900);
                  an even earlier variation was used by an unknown statesman to describe
                  the theologian John Wesley (1703-1791), as noted in Francis Hitchman.
                  Eighteenth Century Studies: Essays. London: S. Low, Marston,
                  Searle & Rivington, 1881

---

Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but he always picked himself up
and hurried off as if nothing had happened.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          quoted in Reader's Digest, 1942, and by Kay Halle, in her
          Irrepressible Churchill: A Treasury of Winston Churchill's Wit
          (Cleveland: World Publishing Company, 1966) who says she heard it through
          Churchill's friends, not from the man himself, and believes it was spoken
          around 1936 in reference to then-Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin

---

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist
sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without
losing your enthusiasm.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it
is that half of them are true.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          22 February 1906, though Churchill explained that this was a remark of a
          "witty Irishman"; quoted in Richard Langworth, Editor. Churchill
          by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations. London: Ebury
          Publishing/New York: Public Affairs, 2008, p.576

---

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)

---

A wise man doesn't make all the mistakes himself.
He also gives others a chance.
     --Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
          attributed in several sources; strangely most of them are in German ["Ein kluger
          Mann macht nicht alle Fehler selbst. Er gibt auch anderen eine Chance."]; unsourced

---

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade
themselves that they have a better idea.
     --John Ciardi [John Anthony Ciardi](1916-1986)

---

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
in students.
     --John Ciardi [John Anthony Ciardi](1916-1986)

---

You don't have to suffer to be a poet: Adolescence is enough
suffering for anyone.
     --John Ciardi [John Anthony Ciardi](1916-1986)

---

ADOLESCENS NON MINUS BENE NUMMATUS QUAM CAPILLATUS
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)

---

Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do
for your country.
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE), in a speech from 64 BCE;
        also sometimes credited to Juvenal [Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis]
        (c.60-c.140 CE) in his Satires VIII;
        used (without attribution) by John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) in his
        inaugural speech, 20 January 1961: "And so, my fellow Americans,
        ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your
        country." Author Chris Matthews claims in his book Jack Kennedy:
        Elusive Hero, New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011, that Kennedy
        "cribbed" the quote from his Choate headmaster, who was often
        heard to say, regarding his alma mater, who often repeated
        the words of Harvard Dean LeBaron Briggs, "the youth who loves his
        Alma Mater will always ask not 'what can she do for me?' but 'what can
        I do for her?'".

---

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)

---

Many things, O priests, have been devised and established with divine
wisdom by our ancestors; but no action of theirs was ever more wise
than their determination that the same men should superintend both what
relates to the religious worship due to the immortal gods, and also what
concerns the highest interests of the state, so that they might preserve
the republic as the most honourable and eminent of the citizens, by
governing it well, and as priests by wisely interpreting the requirements
of religion.
    variant: Among the many things . . . that our ancestors created
        and established under divine inspiration, nothing is more renowned than
        their decision to entrust the worship of the gods and the highest
        interests of the state to the same men - so that the most eminent and
        illustrious citizens might ensure the maintenance of religion by the
        proper administration of the state, and the maintenance of the state by
        the proper interpretation of religion.
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)
          "De Domo Sua" ["On His House"], 57 BCE, from The Orations of
          Marcus Tullius Cicero, literal translation by Charles Duke Yonge.
          London: H.G. Bohn, 1851

---

NEC ME PUDET UT ISTOS FATERI NESCIRE QUOD NESCIAM
[Nor does it shame me, as it does others, to admit that I do not know
what I do not know.]
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)
          TUSCULANUM DISPUTATIONES I

---

NEMO ENIM FERE SALTAT SOBRIUS NISI FORTE INSANIT
variant: NEMINEM SALTARE SOBRIUS NISI FORTE INSANIT
(No-one dances sober, unless he happens to be insane.)
    misquoted variant: No sane man will dance.
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)
          Pro Murena VI, section 13

---

There is nothing more painful than the insult to human dignity;
nothing more humiliating than servitude. Human dignity and freedom
are our birthright. Let us defend them or die with dignity.
     --Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)

---

Those who believe in their truth -- the only ones whose
imprint is retained by the memory of men -- leave the earth
behind them strewn with corpses. Religions number in their
ledgers more murders than the bloodiest tyrannies account
for, and those whom humanity has called "divine" far
surpass the most conscientious murderers in their thirst
for slaughter.
     --E.M. Cioran [Émile Michel Cioran](1911-1995)
        Rumanian-born French philosopher,
          in Précis de décomposition [A Short History of Decay].
          Paris: Gallimard, 1949 [First edition, French], Chapter 1: "Itinerary
          of Hate"

---

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
     --Tom Clancy (born 1947)

---

Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.
It has a 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of
disk storage, a screen resolution of 1024 x 1024 pixels, relies entirely
on voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket and costs $300.
What's the first question that the computer community asks?
"Is it PC compatible?"
     --Doug Clapp (born mid-XXth century)
          "Clapp-Trapp: PC compatibility", Info World, 27 February 1984, p.22

---

The shortest distance between two points is through Hell.
     --Brian Clark (born mid-XXth century)

---

Balzac, with his prodigious understanding of human motives, scorns
conventional values, defies fashionable opinion, as Beethoven did,
and should inspire us to defy all those forces that threaten to
impair our humanity: lies, tanks, tear-gas, ideologies, opinion polls,
mechanisation, planners, computers - the whole lot.
     --Kenneth Clark [Kenneth McKenzie Clark, Baron Clark, OM, CH, KCB, FBA](1903-1983)
          Civilisation. New York: Harper & Row, 1969 p.320.
          In this narrative, Clark is speaking of Balzac in the context of Auguste
          Rodin's sculptural portrait of the writer, which Clark feels conveys
          Balzac's unapologetic individuality, and which Clark greatly admires.
          Throughout this series of 13 broadcasts in which he meticulously defines
          and illustrates what he means by "civilisation", he makes it
          clear that the world in which he lives (mid-XXth century) may not be
          nurturing Civilisation, indeed may be losing it. When he delivers these
          words on Balzac (and Beethoven) in the televised program, he does not
          attempt to hide his emotion, bordering on disgust, about this modern
          failure. ("The Fallacies of Hope", part 12 of Civilisation,
          BBC documentary, first transmitted 11 May 1969)

---

I hold a number of beliefs that have been repudiated by the liveliest
intellects of our time. I believe that order is better than chaos, creation
better than destruction. I prefer gentleness to violence, forgiveness to
vendetta. On the whole I think that knowledge is preferable to ignorance,
and I am sure that human sympathy is more valuable than ideology.
     --Kenneth Clark [Kenneth McKenzie Clark, Baron Clark, OM, CH, KCB, FBA](1903-1983)
          Civilisation. New York: Harper & Row, 1969, p.346-347

---

A margin of wealth is helpful to civilisation, but for some
mysterious reason, great wealth is destructive.
     --Kenneth Clark [Kenneth McKenzie Clark, Baron Clark, OM, CH, KCB, FBA](1903-1983)
          "The Smile of Reason", part 10 of Civilisation,
          BBC documentary, first transmitted 27 April 1969; also
          Civilisation. New York: Harper & Row, 1969, p.253

---

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
     --Ramsey Clark [William Ramsey Clark](born 1927)

---

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    variant: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable
        from a rigged demo.
     --Arthur C. Clarke [Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, CBE, FRAS](1917-2008)
          Profiles of the Future. London: Gollancz, 1962; In his
          Playboy interview (July 1986, p.65) he quotes himself, labeling
          this as "Clarke's Third Law"

---

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God,
but to create him.
     --Arthur C. Clarke [Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, CBE, FRAS](1917-2008)

---

One of the biggest roles of science fiction is to prepare people to accept
the future without pain and to encourage a flexibility of mind.
Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective
stories.
     --Arthur C. Clarke (1917-2008)
          quoted in Jerome Agel. The Making of Kubrick's 2001. New York:
          New American Library, 1970, p.300

---

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.
     --Arthur C. Clarke [Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, CBE, FRAS](1917-2008)

---

A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next
generation. A politician looks for the success of his party; a
statesman for that of the country. The statesman wished to steer,
while the politician was satisfied to drift.
     --James Freeman Clarke (1810-1888)
          Cincinnati, Ohio Daily Gazette, 3 February 1870, p.1

---

You must ask your neighbor if you shall live in peace.
     --John Clarke (died 1681)
          Parœmilogia, 1639

---

Seriousness lurks 'round every corner.
     --Roy Clarke (born 1930)
          The Magnificent Evans, TV Series, Episode 3, 20 September 1984
          spoken by Plantagenet Evans (Ronnie Barker) to his chauffeur and aide,
          Willy (Dickie Arnold), warning him to avoid prune juice and other
          things that interfere with one's enjoyment of life

---

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
     --Carl von Clausewitz (1780-1831)

---

The entropy of the universe tends towards a maximum.
    variants or parodies Finagle's Law:
        The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum.
    The fourth law of thermodynamics:
        The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
     --Prof. R. Clausius [Rudolf Julius Emanuel Clausius/Rudolf Gottlieb](1822-1888)
          "The second fundamental theorem of the mechanical theory of heat",
          Philosophical Magazine and Journal of Science, Volume XXXV
          Number CCXXXIX, June 1868, p. 419

---

All the gods are dead except the god of war.
     --Eldridge Cleaver (1935-1998)

---

I feel very keenly that the idiot is a part of the old village system
and, as such, has a vital role to play in the modern rural society.
Because, you see [here he interrupts himself and makes unintelligble,
grotesque sounds consistent with his idiocy, as a passerby gives
him some money; he finishes his blithering with, "Thank you,
vicar", then continues in his former, scholarly tone] Because
there is this very real need in society for someone whom almost
anyone can look down on and ridicule.
     --John Cleese [John Marwood Cleese](born 1939)
          portraying Arthur Figgis, village idiot, in Monty Python's Flying Circus,
          TV series, "The Attila the Hun Show", 10 November 1970
              compare: Every village has its simpleton, and if one does not
              exist they invent one to pass the time. Nikos Kazantzakis (1883-1957).
              Zorba the Greek [The Life and Adventures of Alexis Zorbas].
              London: J. Lehmann/New York: Simon & Schuster, 1946/1952 [English Edition],
              Chapter 8

---

People who aren't getting enough sex are fascinated by it, even if the
fascination takes the form of being very, very cross that other people are
getting some. . . . You know when people always say, "I'm not a prude,
but . . .", which always means, "I am a prude, and . . ."
     --John Cleese [John Marwood Cleese](born 1939)
          Interview, Fawlty Towers DVD extras, 2001

---

VOOM? Mate, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand
volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
     --John Cleese [John Marwood Cleese](born 1939)
        and Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
          Monty Python's Flying Circus, TV series, Episode 8: "Full Frontal
          Nudity", 1969; the amount of voltage varied in different performances
          of this sketch: for example, in the Amnesty International show Pleasure
          at Her Majesty's, 1976, John Cleese says, "four million volts"

---

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly
from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
variants: America is the only nation in history which miraculously
          has gone directly from barbarism to decadence without the usual
          interval of civilization.
      The United States of America is the only nation to plunge from barbarism
          to degeneracy with no culture in between.
      America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence
          without civilization in between.
     --Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929)
          quoted by Hans Bendix, "Merry Christmas, America!"
          The Saturday Review of Literature, 1 December 1945, p.9;
          variants also attributed to John O'Hara [John Henry O'Hara] (1905-1970),
          Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900), George
          Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), and others; some variants exist which express
          the same sentiment, but assign it to other countries (e.g., Russia!);
          quoteinvestigator.com/2011/12/07/barbarism-decadence/
          offers an extensive list with examples

---

It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon
insufficient evidence.
     --W.K. Clifford [William Kingdon Clifford FRS](1845-1879)
          "The Ethics of Belief", Contemporary Review, January 1877

---

Are we thinking here, or is this just so much pointing and clicking?
     --Richard Cline (born mid-XXth century)
          The New Yorker, 23 October 1995, in a cartoon

---

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
     --Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944)

---

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is
truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this
fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by
loading honors on your head.
     --Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

---

The American family today consists most likely of a work-crazed mom
trying to raise shopping-mall brats in a world gone consumption mad.
     --Andrei Codrescu (born 1946)
          Road Scholar: Coast to Coast Late in the Century. New York:
          Hyperion, 1993, p.127

---

Adults Suck, Then You Are One
     --Joel H. Cohen (born late-XXth Century)
          The Simpsons, TV series, "Fat Man and Little Boy", 12 December 2004
          slogan written by Bart on his T-Shirt in an attempt to hang on to his childhood

---

I dream that someday the United States will be on the side of the
peasants in some civil war. I dream that we will be the ones who will
help the poor overthrow the rich, who will talk about land reform and
education and health facilities for everyone, and that when the
Red Cross or Amnesty International comes to count the bodies and take
the testimony of women raped, that our side won't be the heavies.
     --Richard Cohen (born 1941)

---

Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great
adventure down to the day when he shall no longer cast a shadow
in the sun. For if he dies without a question in his heart, what
excuse is there for his continuance.
     --Frank Moore Colby (1865-1925)

---

Persecution was at least a sign of personal interest. Tolerance is
composed of nine parts apathy to one of brotherly love.
     --Frank Moore Colby (1865-1925)

---

Love yourself, girl, or nobody will
Oh, you a woman? I don't know how you deal
With all the pressure to look impressive and go out in heels
I feel for you
. . .
You wake up, put makeup on
Stare in the mirror but its clear that you can't face what's wrong
No need to fix what God already put his paint brush on
. . .
You keep falling victim cause you're insecure
And when I tell you that you're beautiful you can't be sure
Cause he don't seem to want you back and it's got you asking
So all you see is what you lacking, not what you packing
Take it from a man that loves what you got
And baby girl you're a star, don't let 'em tell you you're not
Now is it real? Eyebrows, fingernails, hair
Is it real? if it's not, girl you don't care
Cause what's real is something that the eyes can't see
That the hands can't touch, that them broads can't be, and that's you
. . .
We don't look nothing like the people on the screen
You know them movie stars, picture perfect beauty queens
But we got dreams and we got the right to chase em
     --J. Cole [Jermaine Lamarr Cole](born 1985)
          "Crooked Smile", from the album Born Sinner 2013

---

I have seen gross intolerance shown in support of toleration.
     --Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

---

Our quaint metaphysical opinions, in an hour of anguish, are like
playthings by the bedside of a child deathly sick.
     --Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

---

The wise only possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed
by them.
     --Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

---

A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
     --Colette [Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette](1873-1954)

---

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
     --Colette [Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette](1873-1954)

---

Grandchildren don't make a man feel older;
it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.
     --G. Norman Collie (1859-1942)

---

There are two types of people.
Those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and
those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."
     --Frederick L. Collins (1916-2000)

---

If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.
     --Michael Collins (born 1930)
          broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center,
          Houston, 20 July 1969, 7:27pm

---

Our journey toward the stars has progressed swiftly.


In 1926 Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-propelled rocket,
achieving an altitude of 41 feet. In 1962 John Glenn orbited the earth.


In 1969, only 66 years after Orville Wright flew two feet off the ground
for 12 seconds, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and I rocketed to the moon
in Apollo 11.
     --Michael Collins (born 1930)
        Former astronaut and past Director of the National Air and Space Museum
          quoted in usenet groups, unsourced

---

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest
fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
     --Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)

---

He that dies a martyr proves that he was not a knave, but by no means
that he was not a fool.
     --Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)

---

It is not so difficult a task to plant new truths, as to root out old
errors; for there is this paradox in men, they run after that which
is new, but are prejudiced in favor of that which is old.
     --Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)

---

We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than
malnutrition.
     --Alex Comfort [Alexander Comfort, MB BChir, PhD, DSc](1920-2000)

---

I have wrought my simple plan
If I give one hour of joy
To the boy who's half a man
Or the man who's half a boy
     --Sir Arthur Conan Doyle [Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle](1859-1930)
          The Lost World. London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1912, Dedication;
          seen as on-screen dedication in the 1925 film of the same name

---

A child once said:
What I hear, I forget
What I see, I remember
What I do, I understand.
     --attributed to Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)
        or Xunzi (340-245 BCE)

---

It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.
     --Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)

---

Recognizing that you know what you know, and recognizing
that you do not know what you do not know -- this is knowledge.
    variant: Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
     --Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)
          Analects (Vth century), 2:17

---

Silence is the true friend that never betrays.
     --Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)

---

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
     --Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)

---

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury,
like a woman scorn'd.
     --William Congreve (1670-1729)

---

He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who
never asks a question remains a fool forever.
     --Tom J. Connelly

---

What I discovered . . . is that the upper class, the serious upper class
. . . the big shots, the proper, fuckin' big shots, they're all nuts;
they're a great laugh. And the working class, they're all fuckin' nuts
as well, and they're a great laugh. It's the middle that sucks. It's
the v-neck pullovers and that fuckin' Volvo crowd that fuck the whole
thing up, right?
     --Billy Connolly [William Connolly Jr, CBE](born 1942)
          Two Night Stand, video of stand-up comedy performances from 1997

---

Wherever you're going, never take an idiot with you.
You can always pick one up when you get there.
     --Billy Connolly [William Connolly Jr, CBE](born 1942)
          Two Night Stand, video of stand-up comedy performances from 1997,
          quoting his Northern Ireland limo driver

---

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones
who will be writing about you.
     --Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)
          David Pryce-Jones (Editor). Cyril Connolly: Journal and Memoir.
          London: Collins, 1983

---

Hate is the consequence of fear; we fear something before we hate it;
a child who fears noises becomes a man who hates noise.
     --Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)

---

The past is the only dead thing that smells sweet.
     --Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)
          David Pryce-Jones (Editor). Cyril Connolly: Journal and Memoir.
          London: Collins, 1983

---

Those whom the gods would destroy, they first call promising.
     --Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)
          Enemies of Promise. London: G. Routledge & Sons, 1938

---

Youth is a period of missed opportunities.
     --Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)
          David Pryce-Jones (Editor). Cyril Connolly: Journal and Memoir.
          London: Collins, 1983

---

Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the
experience, you're too damned old to do anything about it.
     --Jimmy Connors (born 1952)

---

Action is consolatory. It is the enemy of thought and the friend of
illusions.
     --Joseph Conrad [Józef Teodor Konrad Nałęcz Korzeniowski](1857-1924)

---

As in political so in literary action a man wins friends for himself
mostly by the passion of his prejudices and the consistent narrowness
of his outlook.
     --Joseph Conrad [Józef Teodor Konrad Nałęcz Korzeniowski](1857-1924)

---

The way of even the most jusitifiable revolution is prepared by personal
impulses disguised into creeds.
     --Joseph Conrad [Józef Teodor Konrad Nałęcz Korzeniowski](1857-1924)

---

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends.
     --Joseph Conrad [Józef Teodor Konrad Nałęcz Korzeniowski](1857-1924)
          Lord Jim. London: William Blackwood and Sons, 1900

---

It's not hard to find people who are pleasant to talk with, but
how many people do I know who are good to be with through
long periods of silence? . . . [regarding excessive talking] Why do
we persist in shutting each other out by this flood-tide of words?
. . . It seems increasingly important that I include
rather than exclude new ideas.
     --A.J. Constance

---

Why in this day and age of modern technology do people still insist
on yelling into the drive-thru? I mean, I've got my little headset,
"Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?" "WHOPPER!
WHOPPER, NO ONIONS!" "Excuse me, um, Chewbacca? I'm bleeding from
the ears here, Pacino. We're talking FOOD here, not missiles, governor.
Now DRIVE AROUND."
     --Dane Cook (born 1972)

---

Margaret [seeing monkeys at the zoo]: Doesn't it make you sad to see
    animals caged up like this?
Stanley Moon: Well, in a way, but . . . they're really no worse off
    than most of us. . . . metaphorically speaking, and in a very real
    sense, society creates its own cages, you know, cages of the mind. . . .
    A curious kind of cerebreal [sic] captivity. . . . civilization
    has had the effect of inhibiting our deepest natural animal instincts,
    you see. The conventions of an ordered society have made us lose what
    Freud calls our "Urmensch Gefühl nach Truligkeit"
    . . . . As Rousseau said, "we must learn to unlearn, because only
    by unlearning can we really learn to be."
     --Peter Cook (1937-1995)
        Bedazzled, 1967 film
        spoken by Eleanor Bron (Margaret) and Dudley Moore (Stanley Moon).
        Neither of the quotes seems to be authentic, as they cannot be verified
        anywhere. The quote (in German) from Freud is only an approximate
        rendition of what is spoken, and Truligkeit, as such, cannot be
        found in Web searches; Urmensch Gefühl nach would mean,
        approximately, "Primal man's feeling of"; the last word could be
        Traurigkeit ("sadness"), or he might be saying Tier
        Ligkeit ("animal brightness"). Freud did, however, refer to
        the notion that "The cave man (Urmensch) continues to live in
        all of us" (A General Introduction to Psychoanalysis
        [Vorlesungen zur Einführung in die Psychoanalyse], English
        translation by G. Stanley Hall. New York: Boni and Liveright, 1920/1925,
        p.201). The purported Rousseau quote is similar to ideas expressed
        by other writers, including Toffler (quoting Gerjuoy), and Steinem, q.v.

---

We have been forced to listen to the testimony of Mr Norma Syngen Scott,
a scrounger, parasite, pervert, a worm, a self-confessed player of the
pink oboe.
     --Peter Cook (1937-1995)
          "Entirely a Matter for You", parody of the Jeremy Thorpe Trial
          The Secret Policeman's Ball, Amnesty International stage show, 1979
          as His Lordship, the Judge

---

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying
to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
     --Rick Cook (born 1944)

---

Creativity makes a leap, then looks to see where it is.
     --Mason Cooley (1927-2002)
          City Aphorisms: Eighth Selection. New York: Pascal Press, 1991

---

Business will be either better or worse.
     --Calvin Coolidge [John Calvin Coolidge](1872-1933)
        30th president of the United States of America

---

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will
not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world
is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are
omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will
solve the problems of the human race. No person was ever honored for what
he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
     --Calvin Coolidge [John Calvin Coolidge](1872-1933)
        30th president of the United States of America

---

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.
    variant: When more and more people are thrown out of work,
        unemployment results.
     --Calvin Coolidge [John Calvin Coolidge](1872-1933)
        30th president of the United States of America
          attributed to Coolidge in Stanley Walker. City Editor. New York:
          Frederick A. Stokes Company, 1934

---

Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes
you a musician.
     --Col. Jeff Cooper [John Dean Cooper](1920-2006)

---

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
     --Tommy Cooper [Thomas Frederick Cooper](1921-1984)
          often attributed to Cooper, the British comedian, unsourced

---

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we
would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
     --Alan Coren (1938-2007)

---

It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen,
I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought
that his name was Dammit. "Dammit, will you stop all that noise?"
And, "Jesus Christ, sit down!" One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and
my father yelled, "Dammit will you get back in here!" I said,
"Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"
     --Bill Cosby [Dr William Henry Cosby Jr](born 1937)
          Bill Cosby: Himself, 1983 concert film

---

I always made the mistake of thinking that today was some sort of
rehearsal for tomorrow. Don't ever do that. . . . There's nothing to be
afraid of, except a cold wind, that'll kill you just for standing
around looking dumb. . . . I never told my father [that I loved him].
I couldn't touch him. Don't ever be ashamed of love, boy. Show it.
Always show it.
     --Lanny Cotler (born 1941)
          The Earthling, 1980 film, spoken by Patrick Foley (William Holden),
          to Shawn Daley (Ricky Schroder), knowing he (Foley) is about to die

---

Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux.
[Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.]
     --Émile Coué [Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie](1857-1926)
          Self-Mastery Through Conscious Autosuggestion. London: George Allen &
          Unwin/New York: American Library Service, 1922
          the repetition of this statement as a mantra is referred to as Couéism
          or the Coué Method

---

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Thou Shalt Not Kill one of your main
Commandments? And Thou Shalt Not Be A Lesbian didn't even make
the top ten.
     --Megan Coughlin

---

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
     --Alan Coult
          widely attributed to Coult, unsourced, with no further author identification

---

One factor that sets us apart from all other animals is that our lives
need to be stories -- narratives -- and that when our stories vanish
we feel lost, dangerous, out of control and susceptible to the forces
of randomness. I call the process whereby one loses one's life story
"denarration". . . .


Until recently, culture provided us with all the components essential
for the forging of identity. These components included: religion,
family, ideology, class strata, geography, politics and a sense of
living within a historic continuum.


Suddenly . . . with the deluge of eletronic and information media,
these stencils within which we trace our lives began to vanish. . . .
It became possible to be alive yet have no religion, no family
connections, no ideology, no sense of class location, no politics,
and no sense of history. Denarrated.
     --Douglas Coupland (born 1961)
          The New Republic, 12 December 1994

---

I cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. If I deny the oneness of man,
I deny the oneness of God. Therefore, I affirm both. Without a belief in
human unity I am hungry and incomplete. Human unity is the fulfillment
of diversity. It is the harmony of opposites. It is a many-stranded
texture, with color and depth.
     --Norman Cousins (1915-1990)
          Present Tense: An American Editor's Odyssey. New York: McGraw-Hill,
          1967, p.196

---

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should
govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the
center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major
prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual
concerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get
Christians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God.
But all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual
resources. If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further
proposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology,
the Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and
they themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and
think; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that
much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.
     --Norman Cousins (1915-1990)
          Human Options. New York: W.W. Norton, 1981

---

The only way to enjoy life is to work. Work is much more fun than fun.
     --Noël Coward (1899-1973)
          Observer, Sayings of the Week, 21 June 1963
          [original source, if otherwise, is unknown]

---

I was born of woman, and drew milk,
As sweet as charity, from human breasts.
I think, articulate, I laugh and weep.
And exercise all functions of a man.
How then should I, and any man that lives,
Be strangers to each other?
     --William Cowper (1731-1800)
          The Poetical Works of William Cowper.
          Edinburgh: Gall & Inglis, 1853, pp.151-52

---

To follow foolish precedents, and wink
With both our eyes, is easier than to think.
     --William Cowper (1731-1800)
          "Tirocinium; or, A Review of Schools" (1785), in John S. Memes,
          Editor. The Works of William Cowper, Volume III, Second Edition.
          Edinburgh: Fraser & Co., 1835, p.316

---

The life of a repo man is always intense.
     --Alex Cox (born 1954)
          Repo Man, 1984 film, spoken by Miller (Tracey Walter)

---

Oh, the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort of feeling
safe with a person -- having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take
and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath
of kindness blow the rest away.
     --Dinah Maria Mulock Craik (1826-1887)
        A Life for a Life. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1859

---

I saw a man pursuing the Horizon,
'Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this,
I accosted the man,
"It is futile," I said.
"You can never--"
"You lie!" He cried,
and ran on.
     --Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
          The Black Riders and Other Lines. Boston: Copeland and Day, 1895

---

I stood upon a high place, and saw, below, many devils, running,
leaping, and carousing in sin. One looked up, grinning, and said,
"Comrade! Brother!"
     --Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
          The Black Riders and Other Lines. Boston: Copeland and Day, 1895

---

I was in the darkness;
I could not see my words
Nor the wishes of my heart.
Then suddenly there was a great light --
"Let me into the darkness again."
     --Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
          The Black Riders and Other Lines. Boston: Copeland and Day, 1895

---

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the Universe,
"the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
     --Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
          "A Man Said to the Universe", No.20,
          War is Kind. New York: Frederick A. Stokes Company, 1899

---

They're around, our friends -- always around
soaking up the sun. But before the snow-flies come,
they all must leave.
If we go with them, we will sell out.
If we remain true to ourselves -- true to our
original commitment to "make it on our own"
through the winter -- they'll all be back
when we emerge into spring.
And the real friends will have
visited us at Christmas.
     --Joanna Crawford
          et al., from My Side of the Mountain, 1969 film
          spoken by Sam (Teddy Eccles)(paraphrased)

---

#3 pencils and quadrille pads. [his response when asked what CAD tools he
used to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back
side of the pages so that the lines were not so dominant.]
     --Seymoure Cray (1925-1996)

---

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
[his response when he was informed that Apple Inc. had recently bought a
Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac]
     --Seymoure Cray (1925-1996)

---

Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
the person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility
of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
or colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out
claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
the accepted body of scientific evidence.
     --Thomas L. Creed (fl. mid-XXth century)
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988, p.215

---

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the
computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles
per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
     --Robert X. Cringely
        (pseudonym of Mark Stephens [born 1953])

---

Everyone should write one book, and that book should be about himself.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
          "An Evening with Quentin Crisp", Solari Theatre, Beverly Hills,
          California, 23 December 1979

---

However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

I hate music. There's too much music everywhere. It's horrible stuff,
the most noise conveying the least information. Kids today are violent
because they have no inner life; they have no inner life because they
have no thoughts; they have no thoughts because they know no words;
they know no words because they never speak; and they never speak
because the music's too loud.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
          Monk, Winter 1997, quoted in Jon Winokur. The Big
          Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.431

---

I think that a lifetime of listening to disco music is a high price to pay
for one's sexual preference.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

If Mr Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story
by Mr Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr Roger Corman, it could not fully
express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of
the average family.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who
once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing
their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

The lie is the basic building block of good manners.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

Long ago I said that all the harm that had come to the world was due
to the [popular/punk rock] music. . . . It seems to me self-evident:
All you have to do to restore order to the world is to stop the
music. It will mean people start to speak. One of the girls who rings
me up actually said, "If I go to a gathering of strangers and
there's no music, I'm embarrassed." That means she would have
to speak, or at least listen. They like it loud and they like it
dark; they don't want to see and they don't want to hear.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon.
          New York: Black Dog & Leventhal, 2007, pp.183-184

---

Nobody is boring who is willing to tell the truth about himself.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
          "An Evening with Quentin Crisp", Solari Theatre, Beverly Hills,
          California, 23 December 1979

---

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold
of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

Well, I live in Manhattan for the same reason that everybody lives here:
so as to be ready to rule the world, should the opportunity arise.
And you can't rule the world from anywhere else. So you have to stay here.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
          Monk, Winter 1997

---

While I have little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated,
it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be
preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through
which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing
altruistic devotion.
     --Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

---

I love you not only for what you are,
    but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you for passing over the foolish
    and weak things you cannot help seeing in me,
And for drawing out into the light
    all the beautiful, radiant belongings that no-one else
    had looked far enough to find.
I love you for ignoring the wrong in me,
    and for laying firm hold on the possibilities of good in me.
I love you because you have done more for me
    than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it by just being yourself.
Thanks.
     --Roy Croft (1907-1973)
          from "Love", this is one of many variations on the Web,
          some attributed to "Unknown Author", once even attributed
          to Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861); this version taken from a
          poster seen in the 1970s.

---

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
     --Norm Crosby (born 1927)

---

Sometimes, too long is too long.
     --Joe Crowe
          widely quoted, unsourced, without detailed attribution

---

The people who have really made history are the martyrs.
     --Aleister Crowley (1875-1947)

---

We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.
     --John Culkin [John M. Culkin, SJ, Ph.D.](1928-1993)
          Howard Gossange, "Understanding Marshall McLuhan", Ramparts,
          April 1966; Father Culkin was quoted as saying these words, though the idea
          has been expressed (with or without the mention of fish) for decades,
          according to quoteinvestigator.com/2013/12/23/water-fish/

---

Be of love a little more careful than of anything.
     --e.e. cummings [Edward Estlin Cummings](1894-1962)

---

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be
living apart.
     --e.e. cummings [Edward Estlin Cummings](1894-1962)

---

pity this busy monster, manunkind . . . listen: there's a hell
of a good universe next door; let's go
     --e.e. cummings [Edward Estlin Cummings](1894-1962)
          100 Selected Poems. New York: Grove Press, 1954, p.89

---

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the
answer.
     --Ed Cunningham (born c.1946)

---

Humanity needs practical men, who get the most out of their work, and,
without forgetting the general good, safeguard their own interests.
But humanity also needs dreamers, for whom the disinterested development
of an enterprise is so captivating that it becomes impossible for them
to devote their care to their own material profit. A well-organized
society should assure to such workers the efficient means of accomplishing
their task, in a life freed from material care and freely consecrated
to research.
     --Marie Curie [Maria Sklodowska](1867-1934)

---

Ha! I laugh in the face of danger. I drop ice cubes down the vest of fear!
     --Richard Curtis [Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis](born 1956)
        and Ben Elton [Benjamin Charles Elton](born 1959)
          BlackAdder the Third, TV series, Episode 5: "Amy and Amiability", 1987
          spoken by Edmund Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson)

---

I can't see a point in the theatre. All that sex and violence.
I get enough of that at home. Except for the sex, of course.
     --Richard Curtis [Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis](born 1956)
        and Ben Elton [Benjamin Charles Elton](born 1959)
          BlackAdder the Third, TV series, "Sense and Senility",
          8 October 1987, spoken by Baldrick (Tony Robinson)

---

[It's] the worst plan since Hitler's dad said to Hitler's mum,
"Let's go upstairs, Brunhilde, I'm feeling a little saucy tonight."
     --Richard Curtis [Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis](born 1956)
          The Vicar of Dibley, TV series, "Animals", 15 December 1994
          spoken by Hugo Horton (James Fleet), referring to his father's plan to take
          photos of the Vicar blessing the animals of the village in order to
          embarrass her

---

In any country there must be people who have to die.
They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.
     --Idi Amin Dada (c.1925-2003)
        president of Uganda, 1971-1979; quote is from 1976

---

A little nonsense now and then
is relished by the wisest men.
     --Roald Dahl (1916-1990)
        Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1964

---

It takes a long time to understand nothing.
     --Edward Dahlberg (1900-1977)
          widely attributed to Dahlberg, unsourced

---

Twenty five years is a long time. Thirty-five years is a long, long time.
     --George Daley [George William Daley](1875-1952)
        sports columnist, Chicago Herald Tribune
          quoted in Stanley Walker. City Editor. New York: Frederick A.
          Stokes Company, 1934

---

I have good-looking kids; thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
     --Rodney Dangerfield [Jacob Rodney Cohen](1921-2004)

---

When I was a kid, I was poor, very poor. If I wasn't born a boy,
I would've had nothing to play with.
     --Rodney Dangerfield [Jacob Rodney Cohen] (1921-2004)
          No Respect, 1995 MGM Grand show, Las Vegas

---

I'm immortal again! Omnipotent again!
     --Richard Danus (born mid-XXth century)
          Star Trek: The Next Generation, TV series, "Déjà Q", 1990
          spoken by Q (John de Lancie)

---

It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent.
     --Richard Danus (born mid-XXth century)
          Star Trek: The Next Generation, TV series, "Déjà Q", 1990
          spoken by Q (John de Lancie)

---

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
drifting side by side to our common doom.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)
          quoted in Abe C. Ravitz. Clarence Darrow and the American Literary
          Tradition. Cleveland: Press of Western Reserve University, 1962, p.150

---

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going
to speak it to?
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)

---

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the
second half by our children.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)

---

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than
be one.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)

---

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called
agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are
sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)
          Scopes Trial (The State of Tennessee v. John Thomas Scopes, or The Scopes
          Monkey Trial), Dayton, Tennessee, 13 July 1925

---

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)

---

Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)

---

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.
I'm beginning to believe it.
     --Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)
          quoted in Irving Stone. Clarence Darrow for the Defense: A Biography.
          Garden City NY: Doubleday, Doran, 1941

---

The assumed instinctive belief in God has been used by many persons as an
argument for His existence. But this is a rash argument, as we should
thus be compelled to believe in the existence of cruel and malignant
spirits, only a little more powerful than man; for the belief in them
is far more general than in a beneficent Diety.
     --Charles Darwin [Charles Robert Darwin, FRS](1809-1882)

---

Whenever I have found out that I have blundered, or that my work
has been imperfect, and when I have been contemptuously criticised,
and even when I have been overpraised, so that I have felt mortified,
it has been my greatest comfort to say hundreds of times to myself
that "I have worked as hard and as well as I could, and no
man can do more than this."
     --Charles Darwin [Charles Robert Darwin, FRS](1809-1882)

---

Sometimes, on reading Goethe, I have a paralyzing suspicion that he is
trying to be funny.
     --Guy Davenport [Guy Mattison Davenport](1927-2005)
          quoted in William F. Buckley. Execution Eve, and Other Contemporary
          Ballads. New York: Putnam, 1975 p.318; unsourced

---

A lie is a gesture, it's a courtesy. It's a sign of respect!
     --Larry David (born 1947)

---

Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
     --Bill Davidsen

---

When you subsidise poverty and failure, you get more of both.
     --James Dale Davidson (born mid-XXth century)

---

The world is now too dangerous for anything but truth,
too small for anything but brotherhood.
     --Arthur Powell Davies (1902-1957)
        the saying appears on a plaque bearing a likeness of Davies in
        the Davies Memorial Unitarian Universalist Church in Camp Springs, Maryland
        the quote is also sometimes credited to others, including
        William Sloan Coffin Jr (1924-2006), though his last line is
        ". . . too small for anything but love"

---

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using
his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
     --Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)

---

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.
     --Bette Davis [Ruth Elizabeth Davis](1908-1989)

---

I'll play it [first] and tell you what it is later.
     --Miles Davis [Miles Dewey Davis III](1926-1991)
          comment in a studio recording at the beginning of "If I Were a Bell",
          on the album Relaxin' With the Miles Davis Quintet (1956, released
          1958), Prestige PRLP 7129 [vinyl]
          quoted in Lawrence J. Peter. (1919-1990). Peter's Quotations: Ideas For
          Our Time. New York: HarperCollins/Quill, 1977/1993, p.344
              variant often attributed to Bette Davis [Ruth Elizabeth Davis](1908-1989):
                  "Let me play with it first and I'll tell you what it is later."
                  quoted in Philip M. Parker, Editor. Webster's Quotations, Facts and Phrases.
                  Las Vegas NV: Icon Group International, 2008 [published online]

---

The purest affection the heart can hold is the honest love of a
nine-year-old.
     --Holman F. Day [Holman Francis Day](1865-1935)

---

Just one year of love is better than a lifetime alone.
     --John Deacon (born 1951)
          "One Year of Love", from the Queen album
          A Kind of Magic, 1986

---

It's not whether you win or lose, as long as you come in first.
     --Matt Dearborn (born mid-XXth century)
          Even Stevens, TV series, "Stevens Genes", 24 June 2000
          spoken by Coach Tugnut

---

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
     --Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
          likely a condensation of Balzac's original thought from "Le Père
          Goriot", in Revue de Paris, 1834: Le secret des grandes
          fortunes sans cause apparente est un crime oublié, parce qu'il a
          été proprement fait.

---

The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance
of the woman.
     --Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
          The Physiology of Marriage, 1829

---

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that
it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things
from time to time.
     --Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
          The Physiology of Marriage, 1829

---

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything:
familiarity.
     --Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
          The Physiology of Marriage, 1829

---

Noblesse oblige
[literally, "Nobility obliges", the phrase is used to remind
the privileged that along with prestige comes responsibility.]
     --Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
          Le Lys dans la vallée (1836),
          repeating an ancient idea dating back at least to Roman times

---

As long as I don't write about the government, religion, politics and
other institutions, I am free to print anything.
     --Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais (1732-1799)

---

Defending the truth is not something one does out of a sense of duty or
to allay guilt complexes, but is a reward in itself.
     --Simone de Beauvoir [Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir](1908-1986)
        often incorrectly attributed to Peter Bechmann

---

What is an adult? A child blown up by age.
     --Simone de Beauvoir [Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir](1908-1986)
          La Femme rompue, 1967

---

A kiss is a rosy dot over the "i" of loving.
     --Cyrano de Bergerac (1619-1655)

---

While there is a lower class I am in it; while there is a criminal
element I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.
     --Eugene Victor Debs (1855-1926)

---

Yngvi is a louse.
     --L. Sprague de Camp [Lynn Sprague de Camp](1907-2000)
        and Fletcher Pratt [Murray Fletcher Pratt](1897-1956)
          "The Roaring Trumpet". Unknown, May 1940

---

So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide
and our doubts serve to reassure us.
     --Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751)
          Abandonment to Divine Providence (first published posthumously, 1861).
          New York: Doubleday, 1975, p.101; English translation by John Beevers

---

Facts are the enemy of truth.
     --Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)
          Don Quixote, 1609-1613

---

Doubt is a great distorting glass -- the difficulties of life
decrease the moment they are faced.
     --Warwick Deeping (1877-1950)
        A Woman's War. London/New York: Harper & Brothers, 1907. p.271

---

Adversity attracts the man of character, for in grasping adversity
he fulfills himself. . . . Come what may, he seeks the bitter joy
of responsibility.
     --Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)
          Le Fil de l'épée [The Edge of the Sword].
          Paris: Berger-Levrault, 1932 [translated from the French by Gerard Hopkins.
          London: Faber and Faber, 1960]

---

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
     --Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

---

Happiness is for idiots.
     --Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

---

What do you take me for, an idiot? [his response when a journalist asked
him if he was happy]
     --Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

---

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with
buns of cinnamon.
     --Ellen Degeneres (born 1958)

---

La sauvagerie est nécessaire tous les quatre ou cinq cents ans
pour revivifier le monde. Le monde mourrait de civilisation.
[Barbarism is needed every four or five hundred years to bring the
world back to life. Otherwise it would die of civilization.]
     --Edmond de Goncourt [Edmond Louis Antoine Huot de Goncourt](1822-1896)
          quoted in L'esthétique des Goncourt. Paris: Hachette, 1920, p.108

---

S'il y a un Dieu, l'athéisme doit lui sembler une moindre
injure que la religion.
[If there is a God, atheism must strike Him as less of an insult than
religion.]
     --Edmond de Goncourt [Edmond Louis Antoine Huot de Goncourt](1822-1896)
          24 January 1868, in Robert Baldick, Editor/Translator. Pages from the
          Goncourt Journal. London: Oxford University Press, 1962, p.135

---

Un livre n'est jamais un chef-d'œuvre, il le devient.
Le génie est le talent d'un homme mort.
[A book is never a masterpiece: it becomes one.
Genius is the talent of a dead man.]
     --Edmond de Goncourt [Edmond Louis Antoine Huot de Goncourt](1822-1896)
          23 July 1864, in Robert Baldick, Editor/Translator. Pages from the
          Goncourt Journal. London: Oxford University Press, 1962, p.100
          often attributed to Carl Sandburg (1878-1967)

---

De toutes les aberrations sexuelles, la plus singulière
est peut-être encore la chasteté.
[Of all sexual aberrations, chastity is the strangest.]
     --Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915)
          La Physique de l'amour: Essai sur l'instinct sexuel. Paris:
          Société du Mercure de France, 1903, Chapter 18: "La question
          des aberrations" [5]; saying often mis-attributed to Anatole France

---

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious.
     --Stanton Delaplane (1907-1988)

---

Boys' Creed


We are men in the making.
We are small, but tomorrow we will move the world.
We will be true to the things of today, and the great things will
    follow, as surely as the sun crosses the sky.
We will keep clean, we will be honest and loyal, because there are
    those who trust us.
We will prepare for the tasks ahead.
We will study patiently and faithfully. Within the walls of our
    classrooms we will weave threads of knowledge into the pattern
    of our destinies. From deep within us we will forge the faith
    that may someday shine with beauty and usefulness in the darkened
    byways of time.
Because of the skill that we capture now, a train, a ship, an airliner
    may come into being and reach safe harbor guided by hands grown strong.
    There are bridges to build, and we will build them. There are homes
    to make, and we will light their windows. There are those who suffer,
    and we will ease their sorrow. There is a God to find, and we will
    seek Him with all the power of our hearts and minds.
Like the seedling that finds root in the wind and rain, we will grow
    sturdy until our arms reach out into the skies.
We are the men of tomorrow.
     --Lt. Wilfrid Dellquest
        Mt Lowe Military Academy, Altadena, California
        "Boys' Creed" was copyrighted on 22 December 1944,
        renewed 22 January 1972

---

Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold:
The feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.
     --Δημοκριτος [Democritus](c.460-c.370 BCE)

---

We should weep for men at their birth, not at their death.
     --Baron de Montesquieu [Charles-Louis de Secondat, baron de La Bréde et de Montesquieu](1689-1755)

---

How glorious it is -- and also how painful -- to be an exception.
     --Alfred de Musset [Alfred Louis Charles de Musset-Pathay](1810-1857)

---

Life is a banquet ---
and most poor sons-of-bitches are starving to death!
     --Patrick Dennis (1921-1976)
          Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade. New York: Vanguard Press, 1955
          spoken by Mame

---

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
     --Chauncey Depew [Chauncey Mitchell Depew](1834-1928)

---

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.
An optimist is one who hopes they are.
     --Chauncey Depew [Chauncey Mitchell Depew](1834-1928)

---

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it
enkindles the great.
     --Comte de Bussy Roger de Rabutin (1618-1693)

---

COGITO ERGO SUM [Je pense, donc je suis / I think, therefore I am.]
     --René Descartes (1596-1650)
          Discourse on Method, 1637
              variant: Je sens, donc je suis.
                  --Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778). Émile, 1762

---

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards
to solve other problems.
     --Rene Descartes (1596-1650)
          Discours de la Methode

---

Time is not a line, but a series of no-points.
     --Taisen Deshimaru (1914-1982)

---

While I respect the Judæo-Christian ethic, as well as the Eastern
philosophies and, of course, the teachings of Muhammad, I find that
organized religion has corrupted those beliefs to justify countless
atrocities throughout history. Were I to attend church, I'd be a hypocrite.
     --Rob DesHotel (born mid-XXth century)
        and Dean Batali (born 1964)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Holy Crap!", 1 May 2000
          spoken by Steven Hyde (Danny Masterson), when asked why he doesn't
          attend church; this was, of course, a laugh line in a comedy show,
          yet received prolonged applause from the live in-studio audience;
          the entire show was a pointed satire on modern-day organized religion

---

Sometimes . . . the reality of this world disappears all at once, and we
feel ourselves . . . as we should at a ball, where we did not hear the
music; the dancing that we saw there would appear insane.
     --Madame de Staël [Anne Louise Germaine de Staël](1766-1817)
        De l'Allemagne [Germany]. privately printed, 1810/1813
            variants: "Those who dance are considered insane by those who
                can't hear the music." --George Carlin. Brain Droppings.
                New York: Hyperion, 1997, p.74
            "Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
                could not hear the music. --attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche
                [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)

---

We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
     --Madame de Staél [Anne Louise Germaine de Staél](1766-1817)

---

Los que dicen creer en Dios . . . sin pasión de ánimo, sin
congoja, sin incertidumbre, sin duda, sin la desesperación en el
consuelo, creen creer en Dios, no creen sino en la idea de Dios, más
no en Dios mismo.
[Those who believe that they believe in God, but without any passion in
their heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,
without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only
in the God-Idea, not in God.]
     --Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936)
          Del sentimiento trágico de la vida [The Tragic Sense of Life].
          Madrid: Renacimiento, 1912; English translation by J.E. Crawford Flitch,
          New York: Dover Publications, 1954, p.193

---

If the American dream is for Americans only,
it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.
     --René de Visme Williamson (1908-1998)

---

The idea of a Supreme Being who creates a world in which one creature
is designed to eat another in order to subsist, and then pass a law
saying, "Thou shalt not kill", is so monstrously, immeasurably,
bottomlessly absurd that I am at a loss to understand how mankind
has entertained or given it house room all this long.
     --Peter de Vries (1910-1993)

---

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
     --Peter de Vries (1910-1993)
          quoted in Los Angeles Times, 26 July 1964
          also the English translation of the title of Simone Signoret's
          autobiography, La Nostalgie n'est plus ce qu'elle était.
          Paris: Seuil, 1976

---

On celibacy: It's the worst form of self-abuse.
     --Peter de Vries (1910-1993)
          The New York Times, 12 June 1983

---

Anyone who has begun to think, places some portion of the world in
jeopardy.
     --John Dewey (1859-1952)

---

Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative but conservative.
They attach themselves to the current view of the world
and consecrate it.
     --John Dewey (1859-1952)

---

The measure of a civilization is the degree to which cooperative
intelligence replaces brute force.
     --John Dewey (1859-1952)

---

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any
connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of
religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and
superficial answer is not far to seek. . . . The cause lay largely in
the diversity and vitality of the various denominations, each fairly
sure that, with a fair field and no favor, it could make its own way;
and each animated by a jealous fear that, if any connection of State
and Church were permitted, some rival denomination would get an
unfair advantage. . . .


Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that
every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be
submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered
samples of learning must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to
common tests. It is the essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that
any such "show-down" is sacrilegious and perverse. The characteristic
of religion, from their point of view, is that it is intellectually
secret, not public; peculiarly revealed, not generally known;
authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested in ordinary
ways. . . . It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion is
conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,
there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in
religion in the same sense in which we speak of education in topics
where the method of free inquiry has made its way. The "religious"
would be the last to be willing that either the history or the
content of religion should be taught in this spirit; while those
to whom the scientific standpoint is not merely a technical device,
but is the embodiment of the integrity of mind, must protest against
its being taught in any other spirit.
     --John Dewey (1859-1953)
          "Religion in Our Schools", Hibbert Journal Number 6, 1908,
          pp.796-809; often reprinted

---

In the broad and final sense all institutions are educational in the
sense that they operate to form the attitudes, dispositions, abilities
and disabilities that constitute a concrete personality. . . . Whether this
educative process is carried on in a predominantly democratic or
non-democratic way becomes, therefore, a question of transcendent
importance not only for education itself but for its final effect upon all
the interests and activites of a society that is committed to the
democratic way of life.
     --John Dewey (1859-1953)
          "Democracy and Educational Administration", paper read at the
          General Session of the Department of Superintendence of the National
          Education Association, New Orleans, 22 February 1937; published in
          Official Report of the Convention of the Department of
          Superintendence of the National Education Association. Washington DC:
          American Association of School Administrators, March 1937, pp.48-53

---

The other world gives no motive for doing well to him who finds
no motive for it here.
     --Baron d'Holbach [Paul Heinrich Dietrich/Paul-Henri Thiry, Baron d'Holbach](1723-1789)
          "The conscience of an atheist", New Zealand Rationalist &
          Humanist, Volume 28, February=March 1967

---

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six,
result happiness.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

Do you spell it with a "V" or a "W"?' inquired the
judge. "That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my
Lord."
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

The dreams of childhood -- its airy fables; its graceful, beautiful,
humane impossible adornments of the world beyond: so good to be
believed in once, so good to be remembered when outgrown.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
          Hard Times - For These Times [aka-Hard Times]. London:
          Bradbury & Evans, 1854

---

Eccentricities of genius.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch
that never hurts.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

He would make a lovely corpse.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

I love these little people, and it is not a slight thing
when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
          The Old Curiosity Shop. London: Chapman & Hall, 1840

---

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age
of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it
was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the
winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before
we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
          A Tale of Two Cities. London: Chapman & Hall, 1859, Book I, Chapter 1

---

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

---

You are a human boy, my young friend.
A human boy. O glorious to be a human boy!
And why glorious, my young friend? Because
you are capable of receiving the lessons of
wisdom, because you are capable of profiting
by this discourse which I now deliver
for your good, because you are not a stick, or a
staff, or a stock, or a stone, or a post, or a pillar.
    O running stream of sparkling joy
    To be a soaring human boy!
     --Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
          Bleak House. London: Bradbury & Evans, 1852, Chapter XIX, p.114

---

The fog is rising.
     --Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
        last words

---

Go Not Too Near a House of Rose


Go not too near a House of Rose--
The depredation of a Breeze--
Or inundation of a Dew
Alarms its walls away--
Nor try to tie the Butterfly,
Nor climb the Bars of Ecstasy,
In insecurity to lie
Is Joy's insuring quality.
     --Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
        (poem No.1434)

---

A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live
that day.
     --Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

---

Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace
that wasn't immune to bullets.
     --Terrance Dicks (born 1935)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "Robot", 1974
          spoken by Brigader Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney)

---

There's no point in being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes.
     --Terrance Dicks (born 1935)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "Robot: Part Four", 1975
          spoken by Doctor Who (Tom Baker)

---

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon
the wall instead of using it.
     --Gordon R. Dickson [Gordon Rupert Dickson](1923-2001)
          quoted in John Lloyd and John Mitchinson, Editors. If Ignorance Is Bliss,
          Why Aren't There More Happy People?. New York: Harmony Books/Random
          House, 2008, p.4

---

Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail [ass, butt] can't cash.
     --Bo Diddley (1928-2008)
          widely attributed (and imitated), quoted in Living Blues, Issues
          64-69, Center for the Study of Southern Culture, University of Mississippi,
          1985 (retrieved online 2014.02.02), p.44

---

Fanaticism is just one step away from barbarism.
     --Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

---

The philosopher has never killed any priests, whereas the
priest has killed a great many philosophers.
     --Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

---

What has not been examined impartially has not been well examined.
Skepticism is therefore the first step toward truth.
     --Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

---

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
     --Marlene Dietrich (1901-1992)

---

Words can be as lethal as bullets. Choose them carefully, aim them well,
and use them sparingly.
     --William C. Dietz (born 1945)
        Legion of the Damned. New York: Ace Books, 1993
        Introduction to Chapter 16, spoken by Irulu Boda-Sa, Hudathan mystic,
        Standard year 1414

---

GOTO Statement Considered Harmful
     --E.W. Dijkstra [Edsger Wybe Dijkstra](1930-2002)
          title of letter in Communications of the ACM [Association for
          Computing Machinery], Volume 11 Number 3, March 1968, pp.147-148

---

I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest,
"If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
"No," said the priest, "not if you did not know."
"Then why," asked the Eskimo earnestly, "did you
tell me?"
     --Annie Dillard (born 1945)

---

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
     --Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

---

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle -- keep
away from children.
     --Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

---

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to
walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and
shut up.
     --Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

---

Nice, even pace. The word 'monotonous' comes to mind.
     --April Dimenstein
          Tain (ENG271, spring 1997)

---

She's very quiet, but you look at her, and you know that behind those eyes,
she's plotting the overthrow of the existing regime.
     --Catherine Dimenstein

---

The cure for anything is salt water -- sweat, tears or the sea.
     --Isak Dinesen [Karen Christenze Dinesen von Blixen-Finecke](1885-1962)

---

To be honorable and just is our only defense against men without honor or
justice.
     --Διογενης [Diogenes of Sinope](c.412-323 BCE)

---

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood
by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry,
it's the exact opposite.
     --Paul Dirac (1902-1984)

---

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
     --Walt Disney (1901-1966)

---

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
     --Walt Disney (1901-1966)

---

Pithy quotes from Uncle Walt:


Everyone has been remarkably influenced by a book or books.


I love the nostalgic myself. I hope we never lose some of the things of
the past.
     --Walt Disney (1901-1966)
          from the booklet in the Walt Disney Treasures DVD release (2013) of The
          Hardy Boys

---

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness
without action.
     --Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)

---

Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths
of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the
refutation of that nonsense. The greatest misfortune that
ever befell man was the invention of printing.
     --Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)

---

Fear makes us feel our humanity.
     --Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)

---

Man is a being born to believe. And if no church comes forward with
its title-deeds of truth to guide him, he will find altars and idols
in his own heart and his own imagination.
     --Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)

---

To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.
     --Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)

---

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have
many other fine qualities as well.
     --Missy Dizick (born 1936)

---

I have middle class remorse. I feel remorseful that I'm not upper class.
     --John Dobbin (born mid-XXth century)

---

The unlived life is not worth examining.
     --John Dobbin (born mid-XXth century)

---

Who pissed on your Pop Tart?
     --John Dobbin (born mid-XXth century)

---

I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm
preaching to.
     --J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

---

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference
of bones from one graveyard to another.
     --J. Frank Dobie (1888-1964)

---

A lot of people nowadays have a B.A., M.A., or
Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
     --Fats Domino (born 1928)

---

PEREANT INQUIT QUI ANTE NOS NOSTRA DIXERUNT
[Confound those who have said our remarks before us.]
     --Aelius Donatus (fl. mid-IV century CE)

---

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind.
And Therefore, never send to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
     --John Donne (1572-1631)
          Meditation 17, 1624

---

Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult
than to understand him.
     --Fyodor Dostoyevski [Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky](1821-1881)
          Бесы [Demons, or Devils, or
          The Possessed], 1872

---

Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.
     --Norman Douglas [George Norman Douglas](1868-1952)

---

The American Government is premised on the theory that if the mind of
man is to be free, his ideas, his beliefs, his ideology, his philosophy
must be placed beyond the reach of government.
     --William O. Douglas [William Orville Douglas](1898-1980)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America, 1939-1975

---

Oppression, like darkness, does not come upon us suddenly. It creeps
upon us step by step virtually unnoticed until suddenly we recognize
that twilight has passed and it is nighttime and we are not free.
     --William O. Douglas [William Orville Douglas](1898-1980)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America, 1939-1975

---

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor
freedom and yet deprecate agitation are people who want crops without
plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightening. That
struggle might be a moral one; it might be a physical one; it might be both
moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing
without a demand. It never did and never will. People might not get all
they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.
     --Frederick Douglass [Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey] (c.1818-1895)

---

Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are
people who want crops without plowing up the ground. . . . Power
concedes nothing without a struggle. It never has and it never will.
     --Frederick Douglass [Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey] (c.1818-1895)

---

Poverty of the heart and soul , , , [exists] today.
We have a country that celebrates the powerful, while we feel powerless.
We have things that fill our lives but we don't feel fulfilled. We have
more connections and we're less connected. And we have bigger homes but
we're trying to find a home. . . . What matters is, how do we find our way
to happiness when we have all this stuff going on.
     --Matthew Dowd [Matthew John Dowd](born 1961)
          This Week With George Stephanopoulos, ABC News, 3 March 2013

---

Religion is a bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made
bloody by circumstance.
     --Theodore Herman Albert Dreiser (1871-1945)

---

What I am thinking and doing, day by day, is resistlessly
shaping my future -- a future in which there is no expiation
except through my own better conduct. No one can save me. No one can
live my life for me. If I am wise I shall begin today to build
my own truer and better world from within.
     --Dr Horatio Willis Dresser (1866-1954)

---

When I have learned to share a stranger's
taste in food, I have gone a long way
toward understanding also the deep roots
from which he came, and the deeper
yearnings of his heart.
     --Fean Dritchen (born 1929)

---

The computer is a moron.
     --Peter Drucker (1909-2005)

---

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I am going to do when
I grow up.
     --Peter Drucker [Peter Ferdinand Drucker](1909-2005)
          Interview, Psychology Today, October 1968

---

In many ways the limitation of the natural life is the necessary
condition of the full enjoyment of the spiritual life. . . . It is only
limitation which can secure the illimitable.
     --Henry Drummond (1851-1897)
          Natural Law in the Spiritual World. New York: J. Pott, 1884, p.195

---

All heiresses are beautiful.
     --John Dryden (1631-1700)

---

He was naturally learned; he needed not the spectacles of books to read
Nature; he looked inwards, and found her there.
     --John Dryden (1631-1700)
          "An Essay of Dramatic Poesy", 1668

---

The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression.
    variant: The cost of liberty is less than the price of oppression.
     --W.E.B. Du Bois [William Edward Burghardt Du Bois](1868-1963)

---

It is necessary to love one's country, but that is not a reason to hate
others and to only dream of massacres.
    variant: To love one's country, it is not necessary to
        hate others.
    variant: To love one's race, it is not necessary to
        hate others.
     --Captain Robert Dubarle (1881-1915)
        letter to his sister-in-law, 9 November 1914, quoted in
        William Mulligan. The Great War for Peace. New Haven: Yale
        University Press, 2014, p.78

---

Wherever human beings are concerned, trend is never destiny.
     --René Jules Dubos (1901-1982)

---

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
     --Charles H. Duell [Charles Holland Duell](1850-1920)

---

Pi seconds is a nanocentury.
     --Tom Duff [Thomas Douglas Selkirk Duff](born 1952)
        Bell Labs

---

I respect the idea of God too much to hold it responsible for a world
as absurd as this one.
     --Georges Duhamel (1884-1966)

---

How is it that little children are so intelligent and men
so stupid? It must be education that does it.
     --Alexandre Dumas [Alexandre Dumas, père](1802-1870)

---

If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which
He has inflicted upon men, He would kill Himself.
     --Alexandre Dumas [Alexandre Dumas, fils](1824-1895)

---

Une chose qui m'humilie profondément est de voir que le génie
humain a des limites, quand la bêtise humaine nen a pas.
[One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its
limits when human stupidity has not.]
     --Alexandre Dumas [Alexandre Dumas, fils](1824-1895)
          Grand Dictionnaire Universel du XIXe Siècle, Volume 2, entry: Bêtise.
          Paris: Pierre Larousse, c.1865
              variant: The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius
                  has its limits. --often incorrectly attributed to Albert Einstein [1879-1955]

---

The finest inheritance you can give to a child is to allow it
to make its own way, completely on its own feet.
     --Isadora Duncan (1877-1927)

---

My life has known but two motives -- Love and Art -- and often Love
destroyed Art, and often the imperious call of Art put a tragic end
to Love. For these two have no accord, but only constant battle.
     --Isadora Duncan (1877-1927)
        My Life. Garden City NY: Boni & Liveright, 1927, p.239
        sometimes quoted as: "I've always believed love and art to be an
        impossible combination. One always seems to put an end to the other."

---

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
     --Irina Dunn [Patricia Irene Dunn](born 1948)
        according to Dunn, she was paraphrasing an idea she read in college
        in 1970, probably "A man without faith is like a fish without a
        bicycle." (Charles S. Harris, from his humor column in the
        [Swarthmore] Phoenix, 8 April 1958); similar sayings are
        attributed to Gloria Steinem (born 1934), who in turn has credited Dunn
        in a letter to the Editor of Time in 2000;
        the following also have appeared, attributed as "unknown":
        "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
        Penned as a Woman's Lib slogan, this was met by the male response:
        "Yes, but who needs a stationary haddock?"
        Nigel Rees. Graffiti Lives, O.K.. London: Allen & Unwin, 1979;
        and, after the "bicycle" quote, "Therefore, a man without
        a woman is like a bicycle without a fish."

---

To [Carl] Jung, Christianity, as opposed to Christ's teachings, had lost
touch with vital elements of life, which it needed to restore to
achieve wholeness. 'We are cut off from our earth through more than two
thousand years of Christian Training'. [note 37*] This exclusion of
nature and animals, the repression of Eros and creative fantasy alienated
man from his own instincts as well as from the deeper impersonal forces.
In the same way 'God-awful legalistic religion' and over-reliance on faith
got in the way of gnosis, or direct knowledge of God. 'Religion',
he said, 'is a defense against religious experience.'
        [*Note 37: Gerhard Adler and Aniela Jaffé, Editors.
        C.G. Jung Letters, Volume 1. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul,
        p.96, letter to Anonymous]
    variant: Religion is a defense against the experience of God.
     --Claire Dunne (born 1937)
          Carl Jung: Wounded Healer of the Soul: An Illustrated Biography.
            London: Continuum, 2000, pp.150-152

---

Don't ask f'r rights. Take thim. An' don't let anny wan give thim to ye. A
right that is handed to ye f'r nawthin' has somethin' th' matter with it.
     --Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)
          Mr Dooley On Woman Suffrage.
          New York: National Woman Suffrage Publishing Co., c.1910

---

It doesn't make much difference what you study, as long as you don't
like it.
     --Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)

---

A man that expects to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic
and is locked up. But a man that thinks people can be turned into angels
by legislation is called a reformer and allowed to walk free.
     --Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)
        spoken by "Mr Dooly", Dunne's fictional barkeeper

---

Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without
notice.
     --Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)

---

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
     --Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)

---

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do
and always a clever thing to say.
     --Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)
          Reader's Digest, 1972

---

Those who have suffered much become very bitter or very gentle.
     --Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)

---

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or
fears or wishes rather than with their minds.
     --Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)

---

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
     --Jimmy Durante [James Francis Durante](1893-1980)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

The man who, being really on the Way [i.e., self-aware, living in the
most effective way possible], falls upon hard times in the world will not,
as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and
comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out
someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so
that he may endure suffering and pass courageously through it. . . .
[He will] let himself be assaulted, perturbed, moved, insulted, broken,
and battered. . . . The first necessity is that we should have
the courage to face life, and to encounter all that is most perilous
in the world. . . . The more a man learns whole-heartedly to
confront the world that threatens him with isolation, the more
are the depths of the Ground of Being revealed and the possibilities
of new life and Becoming opened.
     --Karlfried Graf Dürckheim [Karl Friedrich Alfred Heinrich Ferdinand Maria
        Graf Eckbrecht von Dürckheim-Montmartin](1896-1988)
          The Way of Transformation: Daily Life as Spiritual Exercise.
          London: Allen & Unwin, 1988

---

A Parent's Prayer


I pray that I may let my child live his own life,
and not the one I wish I had lived. Therefore,
guard me against burdening him with doing what
I failed to do.


Help me to see his missteps today in perspective
against the long road he must go, and grant me
the grace of patience with his slow pace.


Give me the wisdom of knowing when to smile
at the small mischiefs of his age and when to
give him the haven of firmness against the impulses
which he fears and cannot master.


Help me to hear the anguish in his heart through
the din of angry words or across the gulf of
brooding silence, and having heard, give me the
grace to bridge the gap between us with
understanding warmth.


I pray that I may raise my voice more in joy at
what he is, than vexation at what he has done; so
that each day he may grow in sureness of himself.


Help me to hold him with a warmth that will give
him friendliness toward others; then give me
the fortitude to free him to go strongly on his way.
     --Dr Marion B. Durfee (fl. mid-XXth century)
          published in part in Saturday Evening Post, Volume 244 Issue 3, September 1972, p.137
          many variations of this "Prayer" can be found on the Web,
          though there seems to be no definitive, original version available;
          author was medical director of the Pasadena (California) Child Guidance
          Clinic from the late 1940s to the early 1960s

---

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone,
somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks
help alleviate that fear.
     --John C. Dvorak (born 1952)

---

Eric Forman (Topher Grace): Isn't the bikini a marvelous invention?
    Imagine the first Aztec who said, "I've just got to see some more
    belly-button", you know? Yeah, the Mexicans are such resourceful
    people.
Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis): Eric, don't be so stupid. Everyone
    knows the French invented the bikini. The Mexicans just added on the top
    because they're Catholic.
Eric: Another good example of religion dividing instead of uniting.
    . . . and, FYI -- if God wanted Mexican women to wear tops, he wouldn't
    have created tequila.
     --Alan Dybner (born mid-XXth century)
        and Sarah McLaughlin (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Happy Jack", 24 March 2004

---

Colleges are like old-age homes; except for the fact that more
people die in colleges than in old-age homes, there's really no difference.
     --Bob Dylan (born 1941)
        Interview with Nat Hentoff, Playboy, March 1966

---

He not busy being born is busy dying.
variant: You're either busy being born, or busy dyin'.
     --Bob Dylan (born 1941)
        "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)", 1965 song

---

Love is just a four-letter word.
     --Bob Dylan (born 1941)
        song, written c.1965, first recorded by Joan Baez in 1968

---

Never judge a book by its movie.
     --J.W. Eagan

---

The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks
attempts to expose sham paranormal studies; and (2) it is very well and
plausibly written and so rather harder to dismiss or refute by simple
jeering.
     --Harry Eagar (born 1946)
          reviewing Michael Talbot's Beyond the Quantum (New York: Macmillan,
          1986), The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988,
          pp.200-201

---

His ignorance is encyclopedic.
     --Abba Eban (1915-2002)

---

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the
other alternatives.
     --Abba Eban (1915-2002)

---

For the sun will rise, and the moon will set,
And you learn how to settle for what you get.
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So who cares? So what?
     --Fred Ebb (1928-2004)
        lyrics, and John Kander, music
          Cabaret (1966), sung by Fräulein Schneider (Lotte Lenya)

---

If I was alone in a desert and feeling afraid,
I would like to have a child with me, for then my fear
would disappear and I would be strengthened -- so noble,
so full of pleasure, and so powerful is life itself.
If I could not have a child with me, and if I had at least
a live animal with me, I would be comforted.
Therefore, let those who bring about great wonders in big,
black books take an animal -- perhaps a dog -- to help them.
The life within the animal will give them strength.
For equality gives strength in all things.
     --Meister Eckhart [Johannes Eckhart](c.1260-1329)
          translation in Reiner Schurmann.
          Meister Eckhart, Mystic and Philosopher
          Bloomington: University of Indiana Press, 1978, p.102

---

There are four kinds of people in this world:
cretins, fools, morons, and lunatics.
     --Umberto Eco (born 1932)

---

Love. What a word! I am in awe before it. . . . No word is
more misconstrued; no sentiment Iess understood. . . .
Love is not something put upon a shelf, to be taken
down on rare occasions with sugar-tongs and laid on a
rose-leaf. I make strong demands on love, call for
active witnesses to prove it, and noble sacrifices and
grand achievements as its results. Unless these appear,
I cast aside the word as a sham and counterfeit, having
no ring of the true metal. Love cannot be a mere
abstraction, or goodness without activity and power.
As a human quality, the glorious significance of affection
is more than words: it is the tender, unselfish deed
done in secret; the silent, ceaseless prayer; the
self-forgetful heart that overflows; the veiled form
stealing on an errand of mercy, out of a side door; the
little feet tripping along the sidewalk; the gentle hand
opening the door that turns toward want and woe,
sickness and sorrow, and thus lighting the dark places of
earth.
     --Mary Baker G. Eddy (1821-1910)
          Miscellaneous Writings, 1883-1896. Boston: Joseph Armstrong,
          1897 (Nineteenth Edition), pp.250-251

---

Why borrow trouble when the universe gives so much of it away free?
     --Rosemary Edghill [Eluki Bes Shahar](born 1956)
          The Sword of Maiden's Tears. New York: DAW Books, 1994

---

I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
     --Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

---

Religion is all bunk.
(complete quote:) So far as the religion of the day is concerned,
it is a damned fake . . . Religion is all bunk.
     --Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
          quoted by Madalyn Murray O'Hair (1919-1996) in her What on Earth is
          an Atheist!, New York: Arno Press, 1972, p.251

---

We will probably be judged not by the monuments we build, but by those
we have destroyed.
    variant: We will probably be remembered more for what we have
        destroyed than what we have saved.
     --Editorial
          "Farewell to Penn Station", The New York Times, 30 October 1963
          commenting on the demise of New York City's Pennsylvania Station
              more complete quote: Until the first blow fell, no one was
                  convinced that Penn Station really would be demolished or that New York
                  would permit this monumental act of vandalism against one of the
                  largest and finest landmarks of its age of Roman elegance. . . . It's
                  not easy to knock down nine acres of travertine and granite . . . But
                  it can be done. It can be done if the motivation is great enough, and
                  it has been demonstrated that the profit motivation in this instance
                  was great enough. . . . Any city gets what it admires, will pay for,
                  and, ultimately, deserves. Even when we had Penn Station, we couldn't
                  afford to keep it clean. We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a
                  tin-horn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments
                  we build but by those we have destroyed.
                      Versions of this quote often are credited to Ada Louise Huxtable [née
                  Ada Landman](1921-2013), architecture critic for The New York Times
                  from 1963 (when the editorial was published) until 1982.

---

Talent is only a stumbling-block. . . . What I've got is fame, charm,
charisma and legend.
     --Adrian Edmondson [Adrian Charles Edmondson](born 1957)
          The Comic Strip Presents . . ., TV series, "Eddie Monsoon -- A
            Life?", 4 February 1984, spoken by Eddie Monsoon (Adrian Edmondson)

---

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents
obey their children.
     --Edward, Duke of Windsor [Edward VIII Rex](1894-1972)
          Look, 5 March 1957

---

[A film director has just seen a huge desert fort blown up before the
cameras started rolling on the set of his movie, and realises that
an insignificant extra working on the film set off the explosion by
setting his foot on the dynamite plunger so he could tie his shoe.]
Director: "Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off!
    You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make
    another movie again!"
Extra: "Does that include television, sir?"
     --Blake Edwards [William Blake Crump](1922-2010)
        with Tom Waldman (1922-1985) and Frank Waldman (1919-1990)
          The Party, 1968 film, spoken by the Director (Herb Ellis) and
          Hrundi V. Bakshi (Peter Sellers)

---

A second Flood, a simple famine, plagues of locusts everywhere,
Or a cataclysmic earthquake I'd accept with some despair.
But no. . .You sent us Congress. Good God, Sir, was that fair?
     --Sherman Edwards (1919-1981)
          (lyrics), 1776, 1969 (Broadway), sung by John Adams

---

It is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and
intimidation.
     --George Alec Effinger (1947-2002)
          When Gravity Fails. New York: Tom Doherty Associates, 1987, p.66

---

Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia.
     --Barbara Ehrenreich (born 1941)

---

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent,
rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.
     --Barbara Ehrenreich (born 1941)

---

Desiderata


Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace
there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and
clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.


Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.


Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in
your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full
of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many
persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical
about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is
as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the
things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden
misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.


Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a
child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.


And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is
unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you
conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the
noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams,
drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
     --Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)
          written in 1927, published posthumously in The Poems of Max Ehrmann.
          Boston: Bruce Humphries Publishing Company, 1948
          widely believed to have been written in 1692, the date of the founding of
          Old St Paul's Church in Baltimore, since the church's rector (1956-1961),
          the Rev. Frederick Kates (1910-1987), had included it, without reference to
          author or date of creation, in a compilation of devotional materials

---

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more
violent. It takes a touch of genius, and a lot of courage to move
in the opposite direction.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have
holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          William Hermanns. Einstein and the Poet: In Search of the Cosmic Man
          [Hermanns' report of four meetings/conversations he had with Einstein
          from 1930 to 1954]. Brooklin Village MA: Branden Press, 1983, Fourth
          Conversation (1954), p.142

---

Before God we are equally wise, and equally foolish.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Curiosity has its own reason for existence.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Das ewig Unbegreifliche an der Welt ist ihre Begreiflichkeit.
[The eternally incomprehensible to the world is its comprehensibility.
    variant: The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is
        that it is comprehensible.]
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          "Physik und Realität" ["Physics and Reality"],
          Franklin Institute Journal, Volume CCXXI, 1936, p.315

---

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure
you mine are still greater.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Don't believe every quote you read on the Internet, because I
totally didn't say that.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The faster you go, the shorter you are.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which
differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people
are not even capable of forming such opinions.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain
it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through
the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through
striving after rational knowledge.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          "Science and Religion", in Science, Philosophy, and Religion;
          A Symposium. New York: Conference on Science, Philosophy and Religion
          in Their Relation to the Democratic Way of Life, 1941

---

God does not play dice with the universe.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of
understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional
prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions
courageously and honestly.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at
          the College of the City of New York, supporting the controversial
          appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position, 19 March 1940

---

I believe, on the whole, that love is a better teacher than sense of duty.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
        quoted in Albrecht Fölsing, Albert Einstein: A Biography,
        translated by Ewald Osers. New York: Viking Books, 1997, p.26

---

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

I want to know all God's thoughts . . . all the rest are just details.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

If A equals success, then the formula is:
A = X + Y + Z
X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          unsourced

---

If we knew what it was we were doing,
it would not be called research, would it?
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

A little knowledge is dangerous. So is a lot.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          as quoted in The Atlantic, 1965, volume 216

---

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy,
education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary.
Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of punishment and hope of reward after death.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events, the
firmer becomes his conviction that there is no room left by the side of
this ordered regularity for causes of a different nature. For him neither
the rule of human nor the rule of divine will exists as an independent
cause of natural events. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God
interfering with natural events could never be refuted, in the real sense,
by science, for this doctrine can always take refuge in those domains
in which scientific knowledge has not yet been able to set foot.


But I am persuaded that such behavior on the part of the representatives
of religion would not only be unworthy but also fatal. For a doctrine
which is able to maintain itself not in clear light, but only in the dark,
will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to
human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of
religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God,
that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed
such vast powers in the hands of priests. In their labors they will have
to avail themselves of those forces which are capable of cultivating the
Good, the True, and the Beautiful in humanity itself. This is, to be sure,
a more difficult but an incomparably more worthy task.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          "Science and Religion", in Science, Philosophy, and Religion;
          A Symposium. New York: Conference on Science, Philosophy and Religion
          in Their Relation to the Democratic Way of Life, 1941

---

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and science.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior
spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and
transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality.
    variant:My religion consists of a humble admiration of the
        illimitable superior spirit who reveals Himself in the slight details
        we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          English translation is from Einstein's German; notes written on a letter
          received in August 1927, quoted in Helen Dukas and Banesh
          Hoffmann, Editors. Albert Einstein, the Human Side, p.66, and in
          his Obituary, New York Times, 19 April 1955

---

Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

No, this trick wont work . . . How on earth are you ever going to explain
in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon
as first love?
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and
the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          Ideas and Opinions. London: Alvin Redman, 1954

---

Politics are for the present, equations are for eternity.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has
merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though
nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate made me an authority
myself.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a
cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the
Americans themselves.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the universe.
    variant: Only two things are infinite, the universe and human
    stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          quoted by Fritz Perls. Gestalt Therapy Verbatim. Lafayette CA:
          Real People Press, 1969

---

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
          Letter to Jost Winteler (c.1901), quoted in Roger Highfield and Paul Carter.
          The Private Lives of Albert Einstein. London and Boston: Faber and
          Faber, 1993

---

The world war after the next one will be fought with sticks and stones.
     --Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

No man is really a man who has lost out of himself all of the boy.
     --Dwight D. Eisenhower [Dwight David Eisenhower](1890-1969)
        34th president of the United States of America
          Homecoming Speech (after World War II), Abilene, Kansas, 22 June 1945

---

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
     --Dwight D. Eisenhower [Dwight David Eisenhower](1890-1969)
        34th president of the United States of America

---

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
     --Dwight D. Eisenhower [Dwight David Eisenhower](1890-1969)
        34th president of the United States of America
          remarks at a gathering in Frankfurt, Germany, in honor of Marshal Gregory
          K. Zhukov, 10 June 1945, quoted in Andrei Cherny. The Candy Bombers.
          New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 2008

---

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument
than why I have one.
     --Cato the Elder [Marcus Porcius Cato](c.236-149 BCE)

---

NOBILITAS SOLA EST ATQUE UNICA VIRTUS
[Virtue is the one and only nobility]
     --Cato the Elder [Marcus Porcius Cato](c.236-149 BCE)

---

Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite
clear to him.
     --Paul Eldridge (1888-1982)

---

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome mystical power. We know this
because they manage to be invisible and pink at the same time. Like all
religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both
logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that
they are invisible because we can't see them.
     --Steve Eley (born late-XXth century)

---

Any coward can fight a battle when he's sure of winning, but give me
the man who has pluck to fight when he's sure of losing. That's my
way, sir; and there are many victories worse than a defeat.
     --George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans](1819-1880)

---

And the wind shall say, "Here were decent godless people; their only
monument the asphalt road and a thousand lost golf balls."
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)

---

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
. . .
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
          "The Hollow Men", in T.S. Eliot. Poems: 1909-1925.
          London: Faber and Gwyer [later Faber and Faber], 1925

---

Birth, copulation and death.
That's all the facts when you come to brass tacks;
Birth, copulation and death.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
          "Fragment of an Agon", scene from Sweeney Agonistes,
          first published in The Criterion, October 1926 and January 1927,
          later as Sweeney Agonistes: Fragments of an Aristophanic Melodrama,
          London: Faber and Faber, 1932; spoken by Sweeney to Doris

---

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want
to feel important. They do not mean to do harm -- but the harm does not
interest them. Or they do not see it, or they are absorbed in the endless
struggle to think well of themselves.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
          The Cocktail Party, London: Faber and Faber, 1974, p.111

---

In my beginning is my end. . . .
Trying to learn to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate -- but there is no competition --
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
          "East Coker", from Four Quartets.
          New York: Harcourt Brace, 1943

---

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how
far one can go.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM] (1888-1965)
          Eliot's Preface to Transit of Venus: Poems (1931) by Harry Crosby (1898-1929)
          variant 1: In life, as in art, a few must go too far so that
                  more can go far enough.
          --Joseph Barry [Joseph Amber Barry](1917-1994),
              "The Accusers", New York Post, 28 September 1960, p.42,
              repeated (with slight variation) by the same author in
              "France: The decline of an American dream".
              Evergreen Review, Volume 6 Number 23, March-April 1962, p.62,
              in both cases while reporting on the Paris trial of
              friends and collaborators of Francis Jeanson in the Fall of 1960.
          variant 2: The artist must go too far, so that other people
              will go far enough.

---

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)

---

Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
     --T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
          "The Rock", first performed at Sadler's Wells Theatre, London,
          28 May 1934
          quoted by Bill Gates (born 1955) in The Road Ahead. New York:
          Viking/Penguin, 1995, referring to the content of the "I-way"
          (information superhighway) of the computer age
              extended quote:
                  The endless cycle of idea and action,
                  Endless invention, endless experiment,
                  Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
                  Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
                  Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
                  All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
                  All our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
                  But nearness to death no nearer to God.
                  Where is the Life we have lost in living?
                  Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
                  Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
                  The cycles of Heaven in twenty centuries
                  Bring us farther from God and nearer to the Dust.

---

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be
dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for,
because you can never predict when they're going to do something
incredibly . . . stupid.
     --Ted Elliott (born 1961)
        and Terry Rossio (born 1960), screenwriters
          Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, 2003 film
          spoken by Capt Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)

---

Fourth Law of Thermodymanics:
If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
     --David Ellis (fl. mid-XXth century)
          "Some precise formulations on the alleged perversity of nature"
          1957, quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell,
          1979/New York: Dover, 2013, p.116

---

The place where optimism most flourishes is in the lunatic asylum.
     --Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)

---

K is for "Kenghis Khan". He was a very nice person.
History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.
     --Harlan Ellison (born 1934)

---

There's nothing so boring as waiting for the Apocalypse.
     --Ben Elton [Benjamin Charles Elton](born 1959)
        with Rik Mayall [Richard Michael Mayall](1958-2014), and
        Lise Mayer (born 1957)
          The Young Ones, TV series, "Interesting", 1982
          spoken by Pestilence (Keith Allen), a Horseman of the Apocalypse

---

When you look at the statistics, right, 83% of top British management
have been to a public school in Oxbridge, right; 93% of the BBC have
been to a public school in Oxbridge, right; 98% of the KGB have been
to a public school in Oxbridge. All you get from a public school,
right, one, you get a top job, right; and two, you get an interest in
perverse sexual practices.
     --Ben Elton [Benjamin Charles Elton](born 1959)
        with Rik Mayall [Richard Michael Mayall](1958-2014), and
        Lise Mayer (born 1957)
          The Young Ones, TV series, "Bambi", 1985
          spoken by Train Driver (Alexei Sayle)

---

All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been
effeminate by position or nature, born halt and blind, through
luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "The Conduct of Life" (1860), Volume VI of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter I: Power

---

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "The Conduct of Life" (1860), Volume VI of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter VIII: Beauty

---

A child is a curly, dimpled, lunatic.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is
no path and leave a trail. Only those who will risk going too
far can possibly find out how far one can go.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
        also attributed to T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot](1888-1965), or
        Muriel Lieberman Strode (1875-1964), or "Anonymous"

---

Don't say things. What you are stands over you the while, and
thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.
    variant: What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          Letters and Social Aims (1875), Volume VIII of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter II: Social Aims

---

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die
of civilization.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.
    variant: Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that
        I can learn of him.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          Letters and Social Aims (1875), Volume VIII of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter X: Greatness, p.313
          variant as quoted in Arthur Cushman McGiffert Jr (Editor). Young
          Emerson Speaks: Unpublished Discourses on Many Subjects.
          Port Washington NY: Kennikat, 1938; the same idea (with strikingly similar
          wording) often is attributed (without source) to Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881):
          "Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him."

---

A fly is as untamable as a hyena.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "The Conduct of Life" (1860), Volume VI of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter VII: Considerations by the Way

---

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little
statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has
simply nothing to do . . .Speak what you think today in hard words and
tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though
it contradict everything you said today.
complete: A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
    adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With
    consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well
    concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think
    now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in
    hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said
    to-day. -- 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it
    so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood,
    and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo,
    and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh.
    To be great is to be misunderstood.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Self-Reliance", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.2;
          sometimes erroneously attributed to Dr Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

---

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may
think aloud.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Friendship", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.6

---

Heaven always bears some proportion to earth. The god of the cannibal
will be a cannibal, of the crusades a crusader, and of the merchants
a merchant.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "The Conduct of Life" (1860), Volume VI of The Complete Works
          of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and New York: Houghton Mifflin and Co.,
          1904, Chapter VI: Worship

---

I like boys. . . . They know truth from counterfeit as quick as the
chemist does. They detect weakness in your eye and behavior a week
before you open your mouth.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Education" (1863/1864), an essay compiled from materials given
          at various lectures, in "Lectures and Biographical Sketches",
          Volume X of The Complete Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Boston and
          New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Co., 1904, entry V [5]

---

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Self-Reliance", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.2

---

I used to always think that I'd look back on us crying and laugh, but,
I never thought I'd look back on us laughing and cry.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person: Always do
what you are afraid to do.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Heroism", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.8

---

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am
persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          Journals of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Cambridge: Riverside Press, 1909-1914
          entry dated 8 November 1838

---

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          unsourced; quoted in David Graham. The Very Best of Ralph Waldo Emerson.
          [city unknown]: Createspace, 2014

---

Men are conservatives when they are least vigorous, or when they are
most luxurious. They are conservatives after dinner.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "New England Reformers", in Essays: Second Series, 1844

---

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Circles", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.10

---

Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one
of its members.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Self-Reliance", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.2

---

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and
the heart of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward
sense are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit
of infancy even into the era of manhood.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Nature", 1836 (published anonymously), later published in
          Ralph Waldo Emerson. Nature: Addresses and Lectures. Boston:
          J. Muntore, 1849

---

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or
fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and
do not know a thing.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          Journals of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Cambridge: Riverside Press, 1909-1914
          entry dated 14 September 1839

---

When nature has work to be done, she creates a genius to do it.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          The Method of Nature, An Oration Delivered Before the Society
          of the Adelphi, 11 August 1841. Boston: Samuel G. Simpkins, 1841, p.16

---

Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Self-Reliance", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.2

---

You will always find those who think they know what is your duty better
than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's
opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man
is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness
the independence of solitude.
     --  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Self-Reliance", Essays [later published as Essays:
          First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London: James Fraser [some sources
          have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841, Essay No.2

---

You will hear [as you go out into the world], that the first duty is
to get land and money, place and name. 'What is this Truth you seek?
what is this Beauty?' men will ask, with derision. If, nevertheless,
God have [sic] called any of you to explore truth and beauty,
be bold, be firm, be true. When you shall say, 'As others do,
so will I: I renounce, I am sorry for it, my early visions; I must eat
the good of the land, and let learning and romantic expectations go,
until a more convenient season;' -- then dies the man in
you; then once more perish the buds of art, and poetry, and science,
as they have died already in a thousand thousand men.
     --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
          "Literary Ethics", an oration delivered before the
          Literary Societies of Dartmouth College, July 24, 1838;
          quoted in graduation address by Bobby Bell (William Bakewell) to his
          college classmates in the 1934 film You Can't Buy Everything

---

Do not expect strangers to do for you
what you can do for yourself.
     --Quintus Ennius (c.239-c.169 BCE)

---

Beware of men who cry. It's true that men who cry are sensitive and
in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive
to and in touch with are their own.
     --Nora Ephron (1941-2012)
          Heartburn. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1983, Chapter seven

---

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane
people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
     --Nora Ephron (1941-2012)

---

Men are not worried by things, but by their
ideas about things. When we meet with
difficulties, become anxious or troubled,
let us not blame others, but rather ourselves,
that is: our ideas about things.
     --Επικτητος [Epictetus](55-135 CE)

---

One must not tie a ship
    to a single anchor,
nor life
    to a single hope.
     --Επικτητος [Epictetus](55-135 CE)

---

TANTUM ERUDITI SUNT LIBERI (Only the educated are free).
     --Επικτητος [Epictetus] (55-135 CE)
          Discourses, Book II, Chapter 1, Section 23

---

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much
as we speak.
     --Επικτητος [Epictetus] (55-135 CE)

---

One is rich not through possessions,
but though that which one can, with dignity, do without.
     --Επικουρος [Epicurus](341-270 BCE)

---

Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of
Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed miracles.
     --Julius J. Epstein (1909-2000)
        and Philip G. Epstein (1909-1952) and Howard Koch (1901-1995)
          Casablanca, 1942 film, spoken by Signor Ferrari (Sydney Greenstreet)

---

The bulk of your life should be off the record.
     --Dos Equis [beer] advertising billboard
          June 2010, seen in Southern California

---

A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
    variant: A mathematician is a device for converting coffee into theorems.
     --Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

---

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone
believes he has the biggest piece.
     --Ludwig Erhard [Ludwig Wilhelm Erhard](1897-1977)
          The Observer, 28 December 1958

---

There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I
notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
     --John Erskine (1879-1951)

---

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves
on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
     --Susan Ertz (1894-1985)

---

I'm not going to let anybody come down at night like Nicodemus and
whisper something in my ear that no one else can hear. That is not
executive privilege. That is executive poppycock.
     --Sam Ervin [Samuel James Ervin Jr](1896-1985)

---

A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
     --Evan Esar (1899-1995)

---

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
     --Evan Esar (1899-1995)

---

He who wonders discovers that this is in itself a wonder.
     --M.C. Escher [Maurits Cornelis Escher](1898-1972)
          Introduction to his Grafiek en tekeningen [The Graphic Work of
          M.C. Escher], English translation by John E. Brigham. New York:
          Ballantine Books, 1967

---

I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.
     --M.C. Escher [Maurits Cornelis Escher](1898-1972)

---

There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.
     --Abraham ibn Esra (c.1089-c.1167)

---

Do we, holding that gods exist, deceive ourselves with unsubstantiated
dreams, and lies, while random careless chance and change alone rule
the world?
     --Ευριπιδησ [Euripides](c.480-406 BCE)

---

Our Lord expected the utmost from everyone.
Behind mens grumpiest poses
    and most puzzling defense mechanisms
        respectability and seriousness,
        arrogance, dignified airs or coarseness,
        silence or cursing --
He could see a child
    who hadn't been loved enough
    and who had stopped developing
        because someoned ceased believing in him.
Appearances never fooled Him;
    He knew that people try to look wicked
        as well as good,
        and that both kinds are equally piteous.
We've become so evil
    because no one's loved us
        or discovered the real us,
    because no one's inspired us
        or wanted us to be better.
    Inside of every human being
    God exists and waits to be detected
        so that he may thrive.


Loving people means summoning them forth
    with the loudest and most insistent of calls;
it means stirring up in them
        a mute and hidden being
        who can't help leaping at the sound of our voice --
    a being so new
        that even those who carried him didn't know him,
        and yet so authentic
        that they can't fail to recognize him
    once they discover him.


All love includes fatherhood and motherhood.
    To love someone is to bid him to live,
        invite him to grow.
Since people don't have the courage to mature
    unless someone has faith in them,
We have to reach those we meet
    at the level where they stopped developing,
        where they were given up as hopeless,
            and so withdrew into
            themselves
        and began to secrete
            a protective shell
        because they thought they were alone
            and no one cared.
They have to feel they're loved very deeply
        and very boldly
    before they dare appear humble and kind,
        affectionate, sincere
            and vulnerable.
     --Louis Evely (1910-1985)
        That Man is You. Ramsey NJ: Paulist Press, 1964

---

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
     --Sam Ewing (1921-2001)

---

If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.
     --Scott Fahlman [Scott Elliott Fahlman](born 1948)

---

Beware of wishing for something in youth,
because you will not get it until middle age.
     --William Fairchild (1918-2000)
          paraphrase of Goethe
          from Star! (1968), spoken by Noël Coward (portrayed by Daniel Massey)
              Goethe's version: Was man in der Jugend wünscht, hat man im Alter
          die Fülle. [What one has wished for in youth, in old age one has
          in abundance.]. Warheit und Dichtung [Poetry and Truth],
          Part 2 Chapter 6. 1811-1833

---

Alles Schöne kehret wieder.
[All that is beautiful will come again.]
     --August Heinrich Hoffman von Fallersleben (1798-1874)
          Vorrede [Preface], Maikäferiade, zweiter Theil [Volume 2],
          aus Gedichte. Leipzig:Weidmann'sche Buchhandlung, 1843, p.451

---

The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Moral Majority Report, September 1984

---

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it
would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of
Pharaoh's charioteers . . . AIDS is not just God's punishment for
homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates
homosexuals.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          1993; quoted by Robert S. McIlvane. Grand Theft Jesus: The Hijacking of
          Religion in America. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2009, p.35

---

The Bible is the inerrant . . . word of the living God. It is absolutely
infallible, without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice,
as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Finding Inner Peace and Strength. New York: Doubleday, 1982, p.26

---

Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          quoted by Frances Fitzgerald, "A disciplined, changing army",
          The New Yorker, 18 May 1981

---

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are
married to them.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Interview on CNN's Crossfire, reported by UPI, 16 May 1997

---

He is purple -- the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a
triangle -- the gay pride symbol.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          from a "Parents Alert" issued in National Liberty Journal,
          1999, warning that Tinky Winky, a character on the popular PBS children's
          show, Teletubbies, may be gay

---

I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that
if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would
vote yes on first blush.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Interview with Deborah Caldwell for Beliefnet
          (www.beliefnet.com/faiths/2001/03/falwell-deep-concerns, retrieved 4 November 2017)

---

I drive a GMC Surburban. And I have since the early '70s. My wife
drives one . . . I believe that global warming is a myth. And so,
therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to
  buy a Suburban next time.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Interview broadcast on CNN, 20 November 2002

---

I think hell's a real place where real people spend a real eternity.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Interview, PBS Frontline, 2000

---

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the
Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Sermon, July 4, 1976

---

If you want to know where I am politically, I am to the right of
wherever you are.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          America Can Be Saved. Murphreesboro TN: Sword of the Lord, 1979, pp.97-98

---

If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)

---

Nothing will motivate conservative evangelical Christians to vote
Republican in the 2008 presidential election more than a Democratic
nominee named Hillary Rodham Clinton -- not even a run by the
Devil himself.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          private remarks at a Values Voter Summit, reported by Peter Wallsten,
          "Falwell says faithful fear Clinton more than Devil",
          Los Angeles Times, 24 September 2006

---

Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Kansas City, Missouri, 7 December 1980

---

We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism . . .
we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying
our nation today . . . our battle is with Satan himself.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          during the 1984 presidential campaign, quoted in Gerard Thomas Straub.
          Salvation for Sale: An Insider's View of Pat Robertson.
          Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1988, p.309

---

You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver
perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the
automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the
trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that
automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear,
leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot
inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile
will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere
crashes. . . . Other cars on the highway driven by believers will
suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on . . . every
highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the driver's
wheel.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          in his pamphlet, "Nuclear War And The Second Coming of Jesus Christ"
          Lynchburg VA: The Old Time Gospel Hour, 1983

---

You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops, and I'm
for the president - chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years,
blow them all away in the name of the Lord.
     --Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
          Debate with Jesse Jackson, CNN, 24 October 2004

---

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
     --Philip José Farmer (1918-2009)
        under the pseudonym Kilgore Trout (with permission of Kurt Vonnegut Jr,
        as this was the name of a character in Vonnegut's novel
        Breakfast of Champions [1973])
          Venus on the Half-Shell. London: W.H. Allen, 1976

---

Death kills but once. Life kills many times.
     --Dorothy Farnum (1900-1970)
          Beau Brummel, 1924 film

---

A man may do an immense deal of good, if he does not care
who gets the credit for it.
     --Father Strickland, S.J. (fl. XIXth century)
          quoted and sourced in the diary of Sir Mountstuart E. Grant Duff, in entry
          dated 21 September 1863; many minor variations credited to others,
          including Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893), and Harry S. Truman, as well as
          Ronald Reagan, the latter probably because (according to veteran White
          House reporter Helen Thomas) he had a plaque with the quote on his desk;
          Strickland as original source is favoured by Quote Investigator Garson
          O'Toole, in quoteinvestigator.com/2010/12/21/doing-good-selfless/

---

The reading of history proves that freedom always dies when
criticism ends.
  more complete context: If Parliament is to be preserved as a
      living institution His Majesty's Loyal Opposition must fearlessly
      perform its functions. When it properly discharges them the preservation
      of our freedom is assured. The reading of history proves that freedom
      always dies when criticism ends. It upholds and maintains the rights of
      minorities against majorities. It must be vigilant against oppression
      and unjust invasions by the Cabinet of the rights of the people. It
      should supervise all expenditures and prevent over expenditure by
      exposing to the light of public opinion wasteful expenditures or worse.
      It finds fault; it suggests amendments; it asks questions and elicits
      information; it arouses, educates and molds public opinion by voice and
      vote. It must scrutinize every action by the government and in doing so
      prevents the short-cuts through democratic procedure that governments
      like to make.
     --John Diefenbaker (1895-1979)
        13th Prime Minister of Canada, 1957-1963 (Conservative Party)
          Address to the Empire Club of Canada, 27 October 1949
     --William Faulkner (1897-1962)
          Requiem for a Nun. New York: Random House, 1951, p.73

---

My mother is a fish.
     --William Faulkner [William Cuthbert Falkner (sic)](1897-1962)
          As I Lay Dying. New York: Random House, 1930
          pp.83, 101, 102, 196 (spoken by several different characters)

---

The big mistake that men make is that when they turn 13 or 14 and
all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they
like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like
women any more at 21 than you did at 10.
     --Jules Feiffer (born 1929)

---

Some mornings I wake up in a panic, because I'm convinced I've forgotten
all the basics. Forgotten how to sit up, forgotten how to walk, forgotten
how to talk, forgotten how to eat, forgotten how to think. Until my
wife rums over and asks me a question, and I answer with the first lie
of the day -- and I know I'm going to make it.
     --Jules Feiffer (born 1929)

---

and I am awaiting / perpetually and forever / a renaissance of wonder
     --Lawrence Ferlinghetti (1919-2021)
          "I am waiting", in A Coney Island of the Mind.
          New York: New Directions Books, 1958, p.53

---

Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
     --David Ferrier (born mid-XXth century)

---

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public
relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
     --Richard Feynman (1918-1988)

---

Not knowing is much more interesting than believing an answer
which might be wrong.
     --Richard Feynman (1918-1988)

---

Es ist nur Ein Leben . . . wovon alles, was als daseiend und lebendig
erscheint, nur die weitere Modifikation, Bestimmung, Abänderung und
eigne Gestaltung ist.
    [There is but one life . . . of which all that seems to us to exist and
    live is but a modification, definition, variety, and form.]
     --Johann Gottlieb Fichte (1762-1814)
          Die Grundzüge des gegenwärtigen Zeitalters
          [Characteristics of the Present Age], Zweite Vorlesung [Second
          Lecture]. Berlin: Im Verlage der Realschulbuchhandlung, 1806 (from lectures
          delivered 1804-1805), pp.44-45.
          English translation by William Smith, London: John Chapman, 1847, p.21

---

If you can look back on your life with contentment you have
one of man's most precious gifts . . . a selective memory.
     --Jim Fiebig

---

Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if one
went to Harvard).
     --Edgar Russell Fiedler (1930-2003)

---

For economists, the real world is often a special case.
     --Edgar Russell Fiedler (1930-2003)

---

He, in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have
ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him.
     --Henry Fielding (1707-1754)
          The History of the Life of Mr Jonathan Wild, The Great, 1743

---

Let no man be sorry he has done good, because others have done evil!
If a man has acted right, he has done well, though alone;
if wrong, the sanction of all mankind will not justify him.
     --Henry Fielding (1707-1754)

---

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
     --Henry Fielding (1707-1754)
          Love in Several Masques, first performed at Theatre Royal, Drury Lane,
          16 February 1728, Scene XI, spoken by Lady Matchless to Vermilia

---

What is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.
    variant [parody?]: What is virtue today may be vice tomorrow.
     --Henry Fielding (1707-1754)

---

Estelle Novick: Do you ever think of the victims of broken homes?
Augie Poole: Yes -- and when I can no longer bear to think of them,
      I think of the victims of intact ones. I know parents right
      this minute you should be out taking children away from!
     --Joseph Fields [Joseph Albert Fields](1895-1966)
          and Peter De Vries (1910-1993). The Tunnel of Love: A Comedy in Three
          Acts. New York: Samuel French, Act I, 1957
          variant: When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of
              broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.
              Peter De Vries (1910-1993). The Tunnel of Love, Chapter 8.
              Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1954, spoken by Augie

---

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
     --Totie Fields (1930-1978)

---

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing
like having a midget for a butler.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a
hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim
upstream.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting
on people.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)
          quoted, unsourced, in Gyles Brandreth, Editor. Oxford Dictionary of
          Humorous Quotations. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1995/2013, p.30

---

I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

I like children, if they're properly cooked.
    variant: I like children. Fried.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

Mae West: A plumber's idea of Cleopatra.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

We lived for days on nothing but food and water.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
     --W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

---

Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.
     --Harvey Fierstein (born 1952)
          Bennington College commencement speech, 1992, quoted in his memoir,
          I was Better Last Night, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2022, pp.306-307
          final line made into street sign (location unknown), as shown in photo
          on p.306 of his book; quote also attributed to Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more
finesse!
     --Derwood Fincher

---

In our occidental society where the dollar and dollar only counts,
romantic friendship between men is almost unknown and, indeed,
it would be no untruth to say that man no longer has friends,
but only chance acquaintances.
     --Charles J. Finger [Charles Joseph Finger](1867-1941)
          The Tragic Story of Oscar Wilde's Life. Girard KS: Haldeman-Julius Company, 1923

---

There are people who would have lascivious notions if they saw
a six-months-old baby in its bath, people who see filth because
it hangs forever like a film before their eyes.
     --Charles J. Finger [Charles Joseph Finger](1867-1941)
          The Tragic Story of Oscar Wilde's Life. Girard KS: Haldeman-Julius Company, 1923

---

The personal computer market is about the same size as the
total potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the
size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total
worldwide sales of pantyhose.
     --James Finke (born 1927)
        President, Commodore Int'l Ltd.
          quoted (attributing the words to "the president of one computer
          company", spoken in 1982) in Larry Blasko, "On being young and
          nostalgic, too", The Free Lance-Star (newspaper), 28 September 1985, p.15

---

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead.
     --Dave Finkel (born 1970)
        and Wendell Morris (born mid-XXth century)
          Animaniacs, animated television show, 1993-1998

---

Ms Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?
Yakko: Who, me? I never even kissed a girl.
Ms Flamiel: No no no! It's easy. I'll conjugate with you.
Yakko: Goodnight, everybody!
     --Dave Finkel (born 1970)
        and Wendell Morris (born mid-XXth century)
          Animaniacs, animated television show, 1993-1998

---

Some of you may not return . . . actually, none of you will.
    variant: Some of you may not return . . . the rest of you
    definitely won't.
     --Dave Finkel (born 1970)
        and Wendell Morris (born mid-XXth century)
          Animaniacs, "King Yakko", animated television show, 1993
          spoken by Yakko

---

Woman: Well, I never!
Slappy Squirrel: You should, it's fun.
     --Dave Finkel (born 1970)
        and Wendell Morris (born mid-XXth century)
          Animaniacs, animated television show, 1993-1998

---

Yakko, is our use of falling anvils going to be a bit excessive?
     --Dave Finkel (born 1970)
        and Wendell Morris (born mid-XXth century)
          Animaniacs, animated television show, 1993-1998
          spoken by Dot Warner

---

Everything you know is wrong.
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          title of album and subsequent film, 1974

---

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          title of second comedy album, 1969

---

I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          title of fifth comedy album, 1971

---

Live or die, I'll make a million.
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          Everything You Know is Wrong, 1974 comedy album
          spoken by Reebus Cannibis, before his jump to the center of the earth

---

There was something fishy about the butler. I think he was a Pisces,
probably working for scale.
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger", from the album How
          Can You Be in Two Places at Once, When You're Not Anywhere at All?,
          Columbia Records, 1969

---

This is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six
million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch".
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him, 1968 comedy album

---

Yes, some uncomplicated peoples still believe this myth. But here, in the
technical vastness of the future, we can guess that surely the Past
was very different.
     --Firesign Theatre
        Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman, Philip Proctor
          from the 1971 comedy album, I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus,
          published in The Firesign Theatre's Big Book of Plays.
          San Francisco: Straight Arrow Books, 1972,

---

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you
won't either.
     --Joseph Fischer
          widely attributed to Fischer, unsourced; only Paul Dickson (The Official
          Rules, New York: Dell, 1979/New York: Dover, 2013, p.114) offers more,
          crediting "Joseph Fischer, W. Melbourne Florida", and noting his
          source as Harper's "Wraparound", August 1974

---

A living civilization creates; a dying, builds museums.
     --Martin H. Fischer [Martin Henry Fischer](1879-1962)

---

The chain which can be yanked is not the Eternal Chain.
     --G. Fitch
        possibly Gordy Fitch, Twitter @gfitch

---

Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there.
Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little
more than a century ago?
     --Bernice Fitz-Gibbon (1894-1982)

---

He was one of those men who come in a door and make any
woman with them look guilty.
     --F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)

---

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.
     --F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)

---

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's
unfamiliar territory.
     --Paul Fix (1901-1983)

---

You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of
horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating
dance . . .
     --Edward Flaherty

---

Paradox


He who knows, doubts;
He who knows not, believes.
The philosopher is the pessimist;
The fool is the optimist.
The dreamer is stoned;
The tyrant is applauded --
Thus it is in life.
The youth fears that he will regret;
The old man regrets he feared.
The maiden dreams of the godlike lover;
The matron finds him -- Death.
Humanity has its cities
Where men go to live -- but die;
Nature has its deserts
Where men go to die -- but live;
Life is a paradox.
     --Arthur Flakoll (1897-1987)
        published in Anthony Wons, Editor. Tony's Scrap Book: 1932-33 Edition.
        Chicago: Reilly & Lee Company, 1932, p.52

---

All you have to do to make something interesting is to look at it long
enough.
     --Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)

---

Stupidity consists in wanting to reach conclusions. We are a thread,
and we want to know the whole cloth.
     --Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)

---

Older women are best because they always think they may be doing
it for the last time.
     --Ian Fleming [Ian Lancaster Fleming](1908-1964)

---

Fanaticism is the child of false zeal and of superstition, the
father of intolerance and of persecution.
     --John William Fletcher (1579-1625)

---

We ought to love people and use things;
the essence of immorality is to love things and use people.
     --Joseph Fletcher (1905-1991)
        proponent in the mid-1960s of the principle of "Situation Ethics"
        A very similar version of this quote is attributed to Spencer W. Kimball
        (1895-1985), president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
        from 1973-1985.

---

Here's champagne for my real friends,
and real pain for my sham friends.
     --Wayland Flowers (1939-1988)
          as Madame (his puppet character), 4 November 1982, 7:30pm, KHJ TV

---

It's no disgrace to be poor, but it's sure a hell of a bother!
     --Pretty Boy Floyd [Charles Arthur Floyd](1904-1934)

---

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.
     --Errol Flynn (1909-1959)

---

George Hanson: You know, this used to be a helluva good country.
    I can't understand what's gone wrong with it.
Billy: Man, everybody got chicken, that's what happened. Hey, we
    can't even get into like, a second-rate hotel, I mean, a second-rate
    motel, you dig? They think we're gonna cut their throat or somethin'.
    They're scared, man.
George Hanson: They're not scared of you. They're scared of what
    you represent to 'em.
Billy: Hey, man. All we represent to them, man, is somebody who
    needs a haircut.
George Hanson: Oh, no. What you represent to them is freedom.
Billy: What the hell is wrong with freedom? That's what it's all
    about.
George Hanson: Oh, yeah, that's right. That's what's it's all about,
    all right. But talkin' about it and bein' it, that's two different
    things. I mean, it's real hard to be free when you are bought and sold
    in the marketplace. Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not
    free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to
    prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk
    to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free
    individual, it's gonna scare 'em.
Billy: Well, it don't make 'em runnin' scared.
George Hanson: No, it makes 'em dangerous.
     --Peter Fonda (born 1940)
        with Dennis Hopper (1936-2010) and Terry Southern (1924-1995)
          Easy Rider, 1969 film
          spoken by Jack Nicholson as George Hanson and Dennis Hopper as Billy

---

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes
off your goal.
     --Henry Ford (1863-1947)

---

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
    variant: .Whether you think you can or whether you think you
    can't, you're right.
     --Henry Ford (1863-1947)

---

Books have to be read (worse luck it takes so long a time). It is
the only way of discovering what they contain. A few savage tribes
eat them, but reading is the only method of assimilation
revealed to the West.
     --E.M. Forster [Edward Morgan Forster](1879-1970)

---

I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when
you are brave.
     --E.M. Forster [Edward Morgan Forster](1879-1970)

---

One always tends to over-praise a long book because one has got through it.
     --E.M. Forster [Edward Morgan Forster](1879-1970)

---

We are willing enough to praise freedom when she is safely tucked away in
the past and cannot be a nuisance. In the present, amidst dangers whose
outcome we cannot foresee, we get nervous about her, and admit censorship.
     --E.M. Forster [Edward Morgan Forster](1879-1970)
          Two Cheers for Democracy. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company,
          1951, p.54

---

When two are gathered together majorities shall not triumph.
     --E.M. Forster (1879-1970)
          Maurice. London: Edward Arnold, 1971, p.16

---

No man is the whole of himself.
His friends are the rest of him.
     --Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878-1969)
          The Meaning of Prayer New York: Association Press, 1919, p.174

---

No one can be wrong with man, and right with God.
     --Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878-1969)
          The Meaning of Prayer New York: Association Press, 1919, p.80

---

Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.
     --Alan Dean Foster (born 1946)
          To the Vanishing Point. New York: Warner Books, 1988

---

Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
     --Redd Foxx (1922-1991)
          often attributed to Foxx, some say in his character as Fred Sanford in
          Sanford and Son, TV series, 1972-1977

---

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          quoted in Ralph G. Nichols and Thomas R. Lewis. Listening and Speaking:
          A Guide to Effective Oral Communication. Dubuque IA: W.C. Brown, 1954,
          p.74

---

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)

---

La majestueuse égalité des lois, qui interdit au riche comme au
pauvre de coucher sous les ponts, de mendier dans les rues et de voler
du pain.
[In its majestic equality, the law forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          Le Lys rouge [The Red Lily]. Paris: Calmann-Lévy, 1894,
          Chapter 7

---

La souffrance! quelle divine méconnu! Nous lui devons tout ce
qu'il ya de bon en nous, tout ce qui donne du prix à la vie; nous lui
devons la pitié nous lui devons le courage, nous lui devons toutes
les vertus.
[Suffering -- how divine it is, how misunderstood! We owe to it all
that is good in us, all that gives value to life; we owe to it pity, we
owe to it courage, we owe to it all the virtues.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          Le Jardin D'Epicure [The Epicure's Garden].
          Paris: Calmann-Lévy, 1894

---

Le christianisme a beaucoup fait pour l'amour en en faisant un péché.
[Christianity has done a great deal for love by making it a sin.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          Le Jardin D'Epicure [The Epicure's Garden].
          Paris: Calmann-Lévy, 1894

---

The majority of people, though they do not know what to do with this life,
long for another that shall have no end.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          La Revolte des anges [The Revolt of Angels]. Paris:
          Calmann-Lévy [English translation by Mrs Wilfrid Jackson, London:
          J. Lane/New York: Dodd Mead], 1914, Chapter XXI

---

On croit mourir pour la patrie; on meurt pour les industriels.
[You think you are dying for your country; you die for the industrialists.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          L'Humanité, 18 July 1922

---

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very
easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle
over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays
without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is an excellent thing
for the syndicates of financiers and manufacturers for whom patriotic
terrors are an abundant source of gain.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)

---

People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking
advantage of them.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)

---

Quand une chose a été dite et bien dite,
n'ayez aucun scrupule, prenez-la, copiez.
[When a thing has been said and well said, have no scruple:
take it and copy it.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          As quoted in Jean-Jacques Brousson. Anatole France en pantoufles.
          Paris: Cres, 1924
          (this quote may explain why various sayings are often mis-attributed
          to Anatole France!)

---

Que mourir pour une idée, c'est mettre à bien haut prix des
conjectures.
[To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.]
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
          La vie littéraire. Paris: Calmann-Lévy, 1924

---

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned
for an opinion.
     --Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)

---

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.
Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly
set about remedying them. Every day begin the task anew.
     --St Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

---

Je ne sais point de plus grande finesse pour parvenir à aimer que
d'aimer, comme on apprend à étudier en étudiant, à
parler en parlant, à travailler en travaillant.
[You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run
by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn
to love by loving.]
     --St Francis de Sales (1567-1622)
          quoted in André Jean Marie Hamon. Vie de saint François de
          Sales, évèque et prince de Genève. Paris: Librairie
          Victor Lecoffre, 1896, Volume II Book VII, Chapter V: Son amour pour Dieu
          (saying often mis-attributed to Anatole France)

---

As to Jesus of Nazareth . . . I think the system of Morals and his
Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely
to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I
have, with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
divinity.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
          Letter to Ezra Stiles, 9 March 1790

---

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

Diligence is the mother of good luck.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

Experience keeps a dear [i.e., expensive] school, but fools will learn in
no other, and scarce in that.
variant: Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
        as Richard Saunders (pseudonym) in Poor Richard's Almanack, 1743
        variants: Experience is a good teacher, but her fees are very high.
              Experience is a good school, but the tuition is high.
                  --variants sometimes attributed to Heinrich Heine [Harry
                        Heine/Christian Johann Heinrich Heine](1797-1856), or William Ralph
                        Inge [Dean Inge](1860-1954), among others

---

Free people write books. Free people read books.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

He that is good for making excuses
is seldom good for anything else.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

How many observe Christ's Birthday! How few, his Precepts! O! 'tis
easier to keep Holidays than Commandments.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
          as Richard Saunders (pseudonym), in Poor Richard's Almanack, 1743

---

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write
something worth reading or do things worth writing.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

Necessity never made a good bargain.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

There never was a good war or a bad peace.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang
separately.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
          retort to John Hancock's comment, "We must all hang together",
          upon signing the Declaration of Independence, 2 August 1776 [not July 4!],
          quoted in Thomas Fleming. Ben Franklin: Inventing America. New York:
          Sterling, 2007 [original edition, New York: Four Winds Press, 1973], p.129
          also found in Jared Sparks, Editor. The Life of Benjamin Franklin
          Boston: Hilliard, Gray & Co., 1840

---

Well done is better than well said.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
     --Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

---

One Nation Under God has turned into
One Nation under the influence of one drug:
Television, the drug of the Nation,
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation . . .


T.V. is the place where the pursuit of happiness
has become the pursuit of trivia
Where toothpaste and cars have become sex objects
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple


Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
     --Michael Franti (born 1966)
          "Television, the Drug of the Nation", from the Disposable Heroes
          of Hiphoprisy album, Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury. 1992
          portions heard over end credits of The Comic Strip Presents . . .,
          TV series, "Gregory: Diary of a Nutcase", 13 May 1993

---

A piano is a piano is a piano is a piano. -Gertrude Steinway
     --Jack Freedman
          quoted in Dr Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990). Peter's Quotations: Ideas For
          Our Time. New York: HarperCollins/Quill, 1977/1993, p.497

---

Who is more foolish -- the child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid
of the light?
     --Dr Maurice Freehill (1915-2012)

---

Symmetry is not justice.
     --Valerie J. Freireich (born 1952)

---

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone
was the founder of civilization.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)

---

Lieben und arbeiten. [To love and to work.]
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)
        his answer to a reporter who was asking him what a normal person should
        be able to do well
          quoted by Erik Erikson (1902-1994). Childhood and Society.
          New York: W.W. Norton, 1950, p.265

---

Man cannot remain a child for all eternity. The world is no nursery.
    variant: Religion is an attempt to master the sensory world in
        which we are situated by means of the wishful world which we have
        developed within us as a result of biological and psychological
        necessities. But religion cannot achieve this. Its doctrines bear
        the imprint of the times in which they arose, the ignorant times
        of the childhood of humanity. Its consolations deserve no trust.
        Experience teaches us that the world is no nursery.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)
          in Cyriac Kottayarikil. Sigmund Freud on Religion and Morality:
          a Challenge to Christianity. Resch, 1977, p.267, quoting Freud's
          comments during a discussion; the variant is from Freud's New
          Introductory Lectures. New York: W.W. Norton, 1933, 22:168

---

On the whole I have not gained the impression that sexual abstinence
helps to shape energetic, self reliant men of action, nor original
thinkers, bold pioneers and reformers; for more often it produces
"good" weaklings who later become lost in the crowd that
tends to follow painfully the initiative of strong characters.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)
          "On the sexual theories of children", in The Psychology of Love.
          London: Penguin, 1908/2006, p.24 (English translation by Shaun Whiteside)

---

One is very crazy when in love.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)

---

Religion . . . comprises a system of wishful illusions together with a
disavowal of reality, such as we find in an isolated form nowhere
else but in amentia, in a state of blissful hallucinatory confusion.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)
          Die Zukunft einer Illusion [The Future of an Illusion].
          Leipzig: Internationaler Psychoanalytischer Verlag, 1927 {English
          translation by W.D. Robson-Scott, London: Hogarth Press, 1928]

---

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence
of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
     --Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)

---

The "teenager" seems to have replaced the Communist as the
appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding.
     --Edgar Z. Friedenberg (1921-2000)
          The Vanishing Adolescent. Boston: Beacon Press, 1959

---

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
     --Milton Friedman (1912-2006)

---

Technology is the knack of organizing the world so that we don't have
to experience it.
     --Max Frisch (1911-1991)

---

Birth is not one act; it is a process.
The aim of life is to be fully born . . .
To live is to be born every minute.
Death occurs when birth stops.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)

---

If faith cannot be reconciled with rational thinking, it has to be
eliminated as an anachronistic remnant of earlier stages of culture
and replaced by science dealing with facts and theories which are
intelligible and can be validated.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)

---

If I can say to somebody else, 'I Love You', I must be able to say,
'I love in you everybody, I love through you the world,
I love in you also myself.'
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)
        The Art of Loving. New York: Harper & Row, 1956, p.46

---

Love of the helpless one, love of the poor and the stranger,
are the beginning of brotherly love.
To love ones flesh and blood is no achievement.
The animal loves its young and cares for them.
The helpless one loves his master, since his life depends on him;
the child loves his parents, since he needs them.
Only in the love of those who do not serve a purpose,
    love begins to unfold.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)
        The Art of Loving. New York: Harper & Row, 1956, p.48

---

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty
is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)

---

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful
one a criminal.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)

---

There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with
such tremendous hopes and expectations and yet which fails so
regularly as love.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)

---

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive
feeling as "moral indignation", which permits envy or hate
to be acted out under the guise of virtue. The "indignant" person
has for once the satisfaction of despising and treating a creature as
"inferior," coupled with the feeling of his own superiority
and rightness.
     --Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)
          Man for Himself: An Inquiry Into the Psychology of Ethics.
          New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1947

---

Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son
the hardships that made him rich.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather
and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never
remembers her age.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better
lawyer.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)

---

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)
          "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" (1923), in Edward Connery
          Lathem. The Poetry of Robert Frost. New York: Holt, Rinehart and
          Winston, 1969

---

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest
willing to let them.
     --Robert Frost (1874-1963)
          as quoted in Herbert Victor Prochnow.The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit
          and Wisdom. New York: Harper & Bros., 1958

---

Moderate reformers always hate those who go beyond them.
     --J.A. Froude (1818-1894)

---

Ask a stupid person, get a stupid answer.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
        and Hugh Laurie (born 1959)
          A Bit of Fry and Laurie, TV series, Episode 1.4, 3 February 1989

---

I am weeping too for the death of adolescence, the death of
childhood and the death of hope: there are never enough tears
to mourn their passing.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
          Moab is My Washpot (his autobiography). London: Hutchinson, 1997,
          p.312, describing his own reaction (while writing in this autobiography
          that his mother wept inconsolably on his eighteenth birthday,
          24 August 1975, because she didn't know where he was at the time), he, too
          was weeping "like a lost child"

---

I knew [as an adolescent] that it was my destiny to become a foreigner,
a stranger to myself. I was passionately patriotic about my own age, a
fierce believer in the rightness and justness of adolescence, the clarity
of its vision, the unfathomable depths and insurmountable heights of its
despair and its joy. . . . Because I had read a great deal I knew . . .
that one day I would . . . take up citizenship in a different country,
the country of the adult, and I hated my future self because of it. . . .
The perception of nature, the depth of emotion, the brightness and
intensity of every moment, I knew these faded with age and I hated myself
in advance for that.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
          Moab is My Washpot (his autobiography). London: Hutchinson, 1997,
          pp.284-286

---

I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard the news.
I was listening to the news.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
        and Hugh Laurie (born 1959)
          A Bit of Fry and Laurie, TV series, Episode 1.5, 10 February 1989

---

Perhaps all adolescence is a dialogue between Faust and
Christ. We tremble on the brink of selling that part of ourselves
that is real, unique, angry, defiant and whole for the rewards of
attainment, achievement, success and the golden prizes of
integration and acceptance, , , , There is nothing so self-righteous
nor so right as an adolescent imagination.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
          Moab is My Washpot (his autobiography). London: Hutchinson, 1997, p.280

---

There was still a sense [in the late 1970s], I suppose a hangover from
Watergate and the Vietnam War and so on, that young people were naturally
inclined to protest injustice wherever they found it, in a way that now,
in our cynical, ironic, post-modern way we find rather kind of hysterical,
perhaps, and rather inarticulate. Young people are now so soaked in
financial worries and career thoughts and ambitions that they seem to
have very little time for international politics. I felt we were the
last generation of those people who went to university who still kind
of cared about being socially different and daring and, you know,
wanting to change the world.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
          Remember the Secret Policeman's Ball?, 2004 Amnesty International
          documentary, speaking about the social atmosphere surrounding (and
          motivating) the original Amnesty International Secret Policeman's Ball
          benefits

---

To Myself: Not To Be Read Until I Am Twenty-Five . . . Everything I feel
now, everything I am now is truer and better than anything I shall ever be.
Ever. This is me now, the real me. Every day that I grow away from the
me that is writing this now is a betrayal and a defeat. . . . This is
the age when I truly am. From now on my life will be behind me. . . .
WHAT I AM NOW IS ME, WHAT I WILL BE IS A LIE.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
          quoting his own earlier writing in Moab is My Washpot (his
          autobiography). London: Hutchinson, 1997,pp.283-284; this passage written
          in the Summer of 1973, when Fry was 16

---

Well the poor keep gettin' hungry, and the rich keep gettin' fat
Politicians change, but they're never gonna change that. . . .
Well the winds of war are blowin', and the tide is comin' in
Don't you be hopin' for the good times, 'cause the good times have already been.
     --Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
        and Hugh Laurie (born 1959)
          A Bit of Fry and Laurie, TV series, Episode 4.1, 12 February 1995
          lyrics to a song sung by Hugh Laurie

---

Acount him thy real friend who desires thy good
rather than thy good will.
     --Fuller
          (first name[s] unknown, perhaps Thomas?)

---

All things are difficult before they are easy.
     --Dr Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

---

Many can bear adversity, but few contempt.
     --Dr Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

---

Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.
     --Dr Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

---

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)
          widely attributed to Fuller, unsourced

---

Fuller's Law of Cosmic Irreversibility:
1 Pot T == 1 Pot P
1 Pot P != 1 Pot T
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)
        quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell,
        1979/New York: Dover, 2013, p.121

---

Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)

---

We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to
be employed at some kind of drudgery . . . [to] justify his right to
exist. . . . The true business of people should be to go back to school
and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody
came along and told them they had to earn a living.
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)
          quoted by Elizabeth Barlow, in "The New York Magazine Environmental
          Teach-In", New York Magazine, 30 March 1970, p.30
              more complete quote: We must do away with the absolutely specious
                  notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one
                  in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of
                  supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in
                  recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs
                  because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some
                  kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he
                  must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors
                  and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The
                  true business of people should be to go back to school and think about
                  whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and
                  told them they had to earn a living.

---

We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is
staggering.
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)

---

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think
about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the
solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
     --R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)

---

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing
warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or
two things still safe to eat.
     --Robert Fuoss (1912-1980)

---

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except Sequoia trees.
     --J.J. Furnas

---

Being straight is a common enough aberration, though its roots are shrouded
in mystery and polyester. Some authorities see heterosexuality as a
developmental disorder, the result of having a domineering father and a
passive mother. Others view it as the fruit of an incomplete resolution of
the Oedipus complex. According to this theory, heterosexuality develops
when the child's desire to sleep with Mom and kill Dad is falsely resolved
through identification with the father instead of through the normal
identification with Barbra Streisand.
     --G [Windy City Times columnist]
        circa January 1995

---

The best way to attract a man immediately is to have a magnificent bosom
and a half-size brain and let both of them show.
     --Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016)
          How to Catch a Man/How to Keep a Man/How to Get Rid of a Man.
          New York: Doubleday, 1970, p.50

---

Diamonds are a girl's best friend and dogs are a man's best friend.
Now you know which sex has more sense.
     --Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016)

---

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce, I keep the house.
    variant: I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave
    a man, I keep his house.
     --Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016)

---

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
     --Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016)

---

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
     --Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016)

---

I have heard that it takes some living to finally
acquire something you want to say. This may be true.
Yet nothing yields better what you want to say than
the actual saying of it. I mean the kind of saying
that rises out of the depths of what you are feeling,
and what you are brave enough to be honest about, and
what you love enough to take a stand for. This is a
kind of living too, and doesn't have to wait on the years.
     --Celia J. Gaines (born c.1948)

---

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by adequate error.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          Money: Whence it Came, Where it Went. London: Deutsch/Boston: Houghton
          Mifflin, 1975, Chapter XIII, "The Self-Inflicted Wounds", p.176
          variant: sometimes misquoted as ". . . by spectacular error."

---

In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the
majority than to be right alone.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          "In pursuit of the simple truth", The Guardian,
          28 July 1989, p.23

---

The modern conservative is not even especially modern. He is engaged,
on the contrary, in one of man's oldest, best financed, most applauded,
and, on the whole, least successful exercises in moral philosophy. That is
the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          "Wealth and Poverty", speech, National Policy Committee on
          Pockets of Poverty, 13 December 1963, reworked as "Let us begin: An
          invitation to action on poverty", Harper's Magazine, March 1964,
          and entered in to the Congressional Record, Volume 110, 1964

---

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          widely quoted, unsourced (e.g., A Guide to the 99th Congress.
          Cleveland OH: LTV Corporation [an aerospace firm], 1985)

---

One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you
do not know.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          quoted in "Kennedy's Economic Planners", Time, 3 March 1961

---

Talk of revolution is one way of avoiding reality.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          "To my new friends in the affluent society - Greetings",
          Life Magazine, 27 March 1970, p.20

---

There are times in politics when you must be on the right side and lose.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          attributed to Galbraith, 1968, with no further source (Antony Jay. Lend
          Me Your Ears: Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations, Fourth Edition.
          Oxford/New York: Oxford University Press, 2010, p.118)

---

There is an insistent tendency among solemn social scientists to think
of any institution which features rhymed and singing commercials; provides
intense and lachrymose voices urging highly improbable enjoyments;
offers caricatures of the human esophagus in normal or impaired
operation; and which hints implausibly at means for enhancing the
opportunity for effortless and hygienic seduction, as inherently
trivial. This is a great mistake. The planning system is profoundly
dependent on commercial television and could not exist in its present
form without it.
     --John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
          The New Industrial State. Princeton: Princeton University Press,
          2007, Chapter XVIII, Section 5, p.258 (originally published in 1967,
          London: Hamish Hamilton/Boston: Houghton Mifflin, and revised in 1971,
          Boston: Houghton Mifflin)
          Galbraith uses the term "industrial system" to refer to
          "the companies which control around two-thirds of output in key
          sectors of the economy" (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Industrial_State)

---

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with
sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
     --Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
          Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina, 1615

---

La matematica è l'alfabeto nel quale Dio ha scritto l'universo.
[Mathematics is the alphabet with which God has written the universe.]
     --Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

---

I can see stopping a car for a dog. But a cat? You squish a cat
and go on. I think we're overcomplicating life.
     --James V. Gallagher (born 1933)
        Iowa State Senator (D), quoted in Eugene [Oregon] Register-Guard,
        7 April 1980, p.7A, commenting on a proposed law that would require
        drivers to seek help if they run over a domestic animal

---

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but
tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very
expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no one dares criticize it.
     --Pierre Gallois [Pierre-Marie Gallois](1911-2010)

---

I could prove God statistically.
     --George Gallup [George Horace Gallup](1901-1984)
          quoted in Reader's Digest, October 1943

---

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
     --John Galsworthy (1867-1933)

---

. . . Love and Truth.
No force can prevail against them.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative
of the brave
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

God has no religion.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians.
Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

I searched here for God and failed to find him.
I therefore was not in a particularly good mood.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

I think it would be a good idea.
(when asked what he thought of Western Civilization)
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

Just as a scientist
Will work wonders
Out of various applications
Of the law of nature,
Even so a man
Who applies the law of love
With scientific precision
Can work greater wonders.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice'
within me.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

Passive resistance is twice blessed:
It blesses him who uses it
And him against whom it is used.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear
to them except in the form of bread.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

There is a higher court than courts of justice
and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

Truth never damages a cause that is just.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

An unjust law is itself a species of violence.
Arrest for its breach is more so.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or
the holy name of liberty and democracy?
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

The world provides enough for everyone's need,
but not for everyone's greed.
     --Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

"Easy to use" is easy to say.
     --Jeff Garbers (born mid-XXth century)

---

Evolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going
around the sun. At one time this was called the Copernican theory; but,
when evidence for a theory becomes so overwhelming that no informed person
can doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact. That all
present life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic
time, is as firmly established as Copernican cosmology. Biologists differ
only with respect to theories about how the process operates.
     --Martin Gardner (1914-2010)
          The New Age: Notes of a Fringe-Watcher. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books,
          p.132; originally published in "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1989,
          pp.128-131

---

It is sad to find him [Irving Kristol (1920-2009), American writer dubbed
the "godfather of neo-conservatism"] belaboring the science
community for its united opposition to ignorant creationists who want
teachers and textbooks to give equal time to crank arguments that have
advanced not a step beyond the flyblown rhetoric of Bishop Wilberforce and
William Jennings Bryan.
     --Martin Gardner (1914-2010)
          The New Age: Notes of a Fringe-Watcher. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books,
          p.133; originally published as "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
          The Skeptical Inquirer, Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1989,
          pp.128-131

---

If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
     --Stanley Garn [Stanley Marion Garn, Ph.D.](1922-2007)
          often attributed to "anthropologist" or "teacher" Garn, unsourced

---

We can't even agree to disagree anymore. We have to be all on the same
page and all in consensus or else we're very bad people. The ability to
disagree with somebody, but still respect them . . . that's not
something we're taught anymore.
     --James Finn Garner (born 1960)
          quoted in Paul Dean. "The death of common sense".
          Los Angeles Times, 8 November 1996

---

A barren superfluity of words.
     --Sir Samuel Garth (1661-1719)

---

Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
'user-friendly'. Their best approach, so far, has been to take
all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover.
     --Bill Gates [William Henry Gates](born 1955)
          Byte Magazine, August 1982, p.449

---

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
     --Paul Gauguin [Eugène Henri Paul Gauguin](1848-1903)

---

Civilization is what makes you sick.
     --Paul Gauguin [Eugène Henri Paul Gauguin](1848-1903)

---

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
(while working, when informed that his wife is dying)
     --Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855)

---

Expressing anger is a form of public littering.
     --Willard Gaylin (born 1925)

---

They didn't know any better; being kids, they were slow to extend to humans
the empathy they lavished on puppies and goldfish.
     --Joseph Geha (born 1944)

---

Lehr' nur die Jungen weisheitsvoll,
Wirst ihnen keinen Irrtum sparen;
Was ihnen gründlich helfen soll,
Das müssen sie eben selbst erfahren.
    [Only teach the boys wisely,
    Do not spare them an error;
    What should help them thoroughly
    They have to experience that for themselves.]
     --Emanuel Geibel (1815-1884)
          Gedichte [Poetry], 188:22
          [NOTE: in general, in the XIXth century, formal schooling was for boys only}

---

I'd rather write for kids. They're more appreciative. Adults are obsolete
children, and the hell with them.
     --Theodore Seuss Geisel [Dr Seuss](1904-1991)
          quoted by Eric Pace "Dr Seuss, Modern Mother Goose, Dies at 87",
          The New York Times, 26 September 1991

---

[Television] viewers must be kept happy because unhappy viewers aren't
in a mood to go out and buy a car or a beer. Or do both at the same
time. No involvement, no emotion. The only way you can get any feeling
out of your television set is if you touch it when you're wet.
     --Larry Gelbart [Lawrence Simon Gelbart](1928-2009)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.268

---

It is in particular the people in other countries who are "mouthy"
who get it in the neck. And you don't have to be a comic, or a writer, or
a singer to do that, you can just be an ordinary person who talks too much.
And that's essentially what comics, and singers, and writers do: they just
talk too much. God bless us, we're allowed to [do] that, and they're not.
In my travels, when I'd meet the leader or president of [a] country,
the first thing I'd do is read them the Amnesty [International] report on
that country. And it really terrifies these brutes.
     --Bob Geldof [Robert Frederick Zenon Geldof, KBE](born 1951)
          Remember the Secret Policeman's Ball?, 2004 Amnesty International
          documentary; spoken while images of Idi Amin Dada (Uganda), Nicolae
          Ceauşescu (Romania), Robert Mugabe (Zimbabwe) and Saddam Hussein (Iraq).

---

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
     --David 'Dave' Tyson Gentry (born 1951)

---

The new education must teach the individual how to classify and reclassify
information, how to evaluate its veracity, how to change categories when
necessary, how to move from the concrete to the abstract and back, how to
look at problems from a new direction -- how to teach himself. Tomorrow's
illiterate will not be the man who can't read; he will be the man who has
not learned how to learn.
     --Herbert Gerjuoy
        psychologist on staff of the Human Resources Research Organization
          quoted in Alvin Toffler. Future Shock. New York: Random House,
          and London: Pan Books, 1970, p.375

---

When you divide people into us and them, you automatically
become one of them.
     --David Gerrold (born 1944)
        The War Against the Chtorr. New York: Timescape, 1984
        spoken by Solomon Short

---

A standing army is like a standing member, an excellent assurance of
domestic tranquility but a dangerous temptation to foreign adventure.
     --Elbridge Gerry (1744-1814)
        5th vice-president of the United States of America, 1814-1815
        at the Constitutional Convention, 1787; according to David O. Stewart
        (The Summer of 1787: The Men Who Invented the Constitution,
        New York: Simon & Schuster, 2007, p.222) Gerry's use of the term
        "standing member" was phallic imagery -- i.e., an erect penis;
        quote sometimes incorrectly attributed to George Washington (1732-1799)

---

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
     --J. Paul Getty [Jean Paul Getty](1892-1976)
        attributed, according to Martin H. Manser, Editor. The Facts on File
        Dictionary of Proverbs. New York: United States Facts on File, 2002

---

Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
Life is unfair.
     --They Might Be Giants
          "Boss of Me", theme song for TV series Malcolm in the Middle,
          2000-2006

---

The greater men are, the humbler they are, because they
conceive of a greatness beyond attainment.
     --Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
          [some sources credit "E. Gibson"]

---

The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world were all
considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher as equally
false; and by the magistrate as equally useful.
    variant (often attributed to Seneca the Younger [c.4 BCE-65 CE],
    but not found in his extant works): Religion is regarded by the common
        people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.
     --Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
          The [History of the] Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
          London: printed for A. Strahan and T. Cadell, 1789, Volume I, Chapter 2

---

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
Speak to us of Children.
And he said:


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.


You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you
    cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.


You are the bows from which your children as living arrows
    are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He
    bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also
    the bow that is stable.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, pp.17-18

---

And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the
winds long to play with your hair.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.36

---

And what is fear of need but need itself?
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.19

---

And your body is the harp of your soul,
And it is yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.72

---

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          "Thomas: On the Forefathers of His Doubts", in Jesus, the Son
          of Man. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1928

---

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these
teachers.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          Sand and Foam (1926). Delhi: Roajpal & Sons, 2008, p.69

---

It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and
persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity
and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
created for years or even generations.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          Al-Ajniha al-mutakassirah. New York: Mir'at al-Gharb, 1912;
          translated by Anthony R. Ferris as The Broken Wings. New York:
          Citadel Press, 1957; London: Heinemann, 1966, Chapter 5: The Tempest

---

Pleasure is a freedom song,
But it is not freedom.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.70

---

Strengthen our hearts so we may live,
Or harden our enemies so we may perish
And live in peace eternally.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          Al-'Arwah Al-Mutamarridah [Spirits Rebellious] (1908).
          translated from the Arabic by Anthony Rizcallah Ferris, edited by Martin L.
          Wolf. New York: Philosophical Library, 1946, Part III: "Kahlil the
          Heretic", spoken by Khalil

---

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes
    filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you
    can contain.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.29

---

We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          Sand and Foam. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1926

---

Your daily life is your temple and your religion.
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.78

---

Your jelly doughnuts will be assimilated. -Elvis of Borg
     --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
          The Prophet. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1923, p.29

---

The wider our experience the deeper our tolerance.
     --Elizabeth Gibson
        (probably Elizabeth Chamberlain Gibson, 1830-1916)
        The Advocate, Great Britain, 8 January 1932, p.2

---

I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of
tennis socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for:
If they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical,
go crude. I'm a very technical boy. So I decided to get as crude as
possible. These days, though, you have to be pretty technical before you
can even aspire to crudeness.
     --William Gibson [William Ford Gibson](born 1948)
          Johnny Mnemonic. New York: Ace Books, 1995

---

Art is a collaboration between God an the artist, and the less the
artist does the better.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself -- and thus
make yourself indispensable.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

Connais-toi toi-même. Maxime aussi pernicieuse que laide. Quiconque
s'observe arrête son développement. La chenille qui chercherait
à "bien se connaître" ne deviendrait jamais papillon.
("Know thyself" - a maxim as pernicious as it is odious.
A person observing himself would arrest his own development.
Any caterpillar who tried to "know himself" would never
become a butterfly.)
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)
          Les Nouvelles Nourritures [The New Foods].
          Paris: Gallimard, 1935

---

In order to be utterly happy the only thing necessary is to
refrain from comparing this moment with other moments in the
past, which I often did not fully enjoy because I was comparing
them with other moments of the future.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what
you are not.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

"Know thyself" - a maxim as pernicious as it is odious.
A person observing himself would arrest his own development.
Any caterpillar who tried to "know himself" would never
become a butterfly.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

So long as we live among men, let us cherish humanity.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)

---

To win one's joy through struggle is better than to yield to melancholy.
     --André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)
          The Journals of André Gide. New York: Vintage Books/Random
          House, 1947; entry dated 12 May 1927

---

I never had any friends later on like the ones
I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
     --Raynold Gideon (born mid-XXth century)
          and Bruce A. Evans (born 1946), screenwriters, Stand By Me, 1986 film
          spoken/written by Gordie LaChance (as adult narrator for the story)

---

When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.
     --W.S. Gilbert [Sir William Schwenck Gilbert](1836-1911)
          The Gondoliers, first performed at the Savoy Theatre, London,
          7 December 1889; spoken/sung by Don Alhambra del Bolero, the Grand
          Inquisitor

---

There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.
     --George Francis Gillette (born 1875)
          quoted in Martin Gardner. Fads and Fallacies in the Name of Science.
          New York: Dover, 1952

---

Governments are really keen on locking people up that they don't like.
It's as simple as that. And so I think one's got to have eyes and ears
out all the time, and voices that will shout out, and say "This is
wrong, this is terrible."
     --Terry Gilliam [Terence Vance Gilliam](born 1940)
          Remember the Secret Policeman's Ball?, 2004 Amnesty International
          documentary

---

When I left . . . the Chevrolet assembly plant in Van Nuys, California,
I made a pact with myself that there were two things I would do. One
was that I would have control over whatever I did; the second was that
I would never work just for money.
     --Terry Gilliam (born 1940)
          film director, animator, and founding member in 1969 of Monty Python's
          Flying Circus; in interview with David Wallis in Salon.com, 1998;
          quoted in the extras for the DVD release of his film Time Bandits, 1981

---

The function of the lawyer is to preserve a sceptical relativism
in a society hell-bent for absolutes. The worse the society, the
more law there will be. In Hell, there will be nothing but law,
and due process will be meticulously observed.
     --Grant Gilmore (1910-1982)
        Professor of Law at Yale, and elsewhere
          The Ages of American Law.
          New Haven: Yale University Press, 1977, pp.110-111

---

The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
     --John Gilmore (born 1955)

---

Truth: The most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of
destroying entire perceptual sets, cultures, and realities. Outlawed by all
governments everywhere. Possession is normally punishable by death.
     --John Gilmore (born 1955)

---

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
     --Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)
          "America", Berkeley, 17 January 1956, in Collected Poems
          1947-1980. New York: Harper & Row, 1984

---

Whoever controls the media, the images, controls the culture.
     --Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)
          quoted in The New York Times, "A Muse Unplugged" (Editorial),
          8 October 2007
              variations: "He who controls the media controls the minds of
                  the public."
                      --Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928)(the idea, but not the
                          exact quote, is found in "What makes mainstream media
                          mainstream?", Z Magazine, October 1997
                  He who controls the media controls the mind.
                      --Jim Morrison (1943-1971)
                  Whoever controls the media controls reality.
                      --Peter Jennings (1938-2005), television journalist, on the expulsion
                          of journalists from Tien an Min Square in China, June 1989

---

It is because nations tend to stupidity and baseness that mankind
moves so slowly; it is because individuals have a capacity
for better things that it moves at all.
     --George Gissing (1857-1903)

---

Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.
     --Arnold H. Glasow [Arnold Henry Glasow](1905-1998)

---

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first.
By the second day, you're off it.
     --Jackie Gleason (1916-1987)

---

At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on
the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is
quite untrue in practice. Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather
than blinkers it.
     --Gordon L. Glegg (born mid-XXth century)
          The Design of Design. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1969

---

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the
common birthday.
     --John Herschel Glenn Jr (born 1921)

---

I think it's my last time. . . . for anything stupid, and reckless, and
fun. Maybe it's because I'm almost 18, but lately I've been hearing this
voice in my head that says, "That's dangerous. That's stupid. You're
going to hurt yourself." And the old voice, the one that says,
"This is fun. Do it anyways. They'll figure out how to save
you.", it just gets quieter and quieter. Pretty soon, I won't be
able to hear it at all. But before it dies, I want to say goodbye to it
the right way.
     --Michael Glouberman (born mid-XXth century)
          Malcolm in the Middle, TV series, "Lois Battles Jamie",
          23 January 2005, spoken by Reese (Justin Berfield), trying to explain
          why it is so imporant for him and his brothers to figure out a
          spectacular way to use a discarded diving board they found in an alley;
          to this, Malcolm says, "We'll give it the best sendoff any crazy
          voice could ask for." Dewey adds, "I'd do it for mine."

---

You can't hold on to the past . . . You've got to live in the
"here and now", because the "here and now" is a
special, special gift. That's why I call it . . . the present.
     --Michael Glouberman (born mid-XXth century)
        and Andrew Orenstein (born mid-XXth century)
          Malcolm in the Middle, TV series, "Vegas", 2 November 2003
          spoken by Boone Vincent (David Cassidy)

---

A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go
beyond the point reached by the genius of the last generation.
     --Max Gluckman [Herman Max Gluckman](1911-1975)

---

Thou shalt not kill.
     --God [via Moses]

---

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong.
Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.
     --Dr Robert H. Goddard [Robert Hutchings Goddard](1882-1945)

---

There is an Indian belief that everyone is a house of four rooms:
a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual room.
Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into
every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not complete.
     --Rumer Godden [Margaret Rumer Godden OBE](1907-1998)
          A House With Four Rooms. London: Macmillan, 1989

---

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
     --Gail Godwin (born 1937)

---

Guns make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.
     --Hermann Göring (1893-1946)

---

Auch das Unnatürlichste ist Natur. . . . Wer sie nicht allenthalben
sieht, sieht sie nirgendwo recht.
[Even what is most unnatural is Nature. . . . Who does not see her
everywhere, sees her nowhere aright.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Maximen und Reflexionen [Maxims and Reflections.], Nature: Aphorisms.
          (English translation by Bailey Saunders [New York: Macmillan, 1906])
          More than an isolated quote, this appears in many places in Goethe's work,
          a theme, which he discusses, for example, in terms of homosexuality ("Greek
          love"), the disease known in former times as tædium vitae (weariness
          or loathing of life), and so forth, making the point that some things in
          life are seen (by a particular culture) as unnatural, but since they exist,
          they must be natural

---

Bittet mich ein anderer um guten Rath, so sage ich wohl, daß
ich bereit sei ihn zu geben, jedoch nur mit dem Beding, daß
er versprechen wolle, nicht danach zu handeln.
[If any one asks me for good advice, I say I will give it, but only on
condition that you promise me not to take it.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          quoted in Johann Peter Eckermann, Editor. Gespräche mit Goethe in den
          letzten Jahren seines Lebens [Conversations with Goethe in
          the Last Years of His Life] (1836-1848), entry for 13 February 1831.
          Boston: J. Munroe, 1852

---

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          quoted in Patrick Flaherty, Editor. The Scout Law: Quotes for Life.
          Iowa City IA: Penfield Books, 2002, p.36; and many other books and Web pages;
          unsourced; original German could not be found

---

Das Alter macht nicht kindisch, wie man spricht,
Es findet uns nur noch als wahre Kinder.
[Age does not make us childish, as they say,
It only finds that we are still true children.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Faust: Der Tragödie, Part 1, "Vorspiel auf dem Theater"
          ("Prelude on the Stage"), 1808/1828-1829, spoken by Lustige Person
          (Funny Person, sometimes referred to as Merry-Andrew)

---

Das Nützliche befordert sich selbst, . . . das Schöne muss befördert werden
[Usefulness cultivates itself . . . but beauty must be expressly cultivated.
    variant: We should do our utmost to encourage the Beautiful, for
        the useful encourages itself.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre [Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship,
          Book 8, Chapter 5. Berlin: J.F. Unger, 1795-1796

---

Denn eben wo Begriffe fehlen,
Da stellt ein Wort zur rechten Zeit sich ein.
[For just where all ideas lack us,
Comes an apt word to fill the vacancy.
    variants: For just where no ideas are
        The proper word is never far.
    For it is precisely where concepts fail
        There comes a word at the right time.
    When ideas fail, words come in very handy.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Faust: Der Tragödie, Part 1, 1808/1828-1829, spoken by Mephistopheles

---

Denn wir können die Kinder nach unserem Sinne nicht formen;
So wie Gott sie uns gab, so muß man sie haben und lieben,
Sie erziehen aufs beste und jeglichen lassen gewähren.
[We can't form our children on our own concepts; we must take them and love
them as God gives them to us. Raise them the best we can, and leave them
free to develop.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Hermann und Dorothea, Part 3: Thalia. Die Bürger. 1797

---

Der Zweck des Lebens ist das Leben selbst
[The purpose of life is life itself. / Life itself is the aim of living.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Letter to Johann Heinrich Meyer, 8 February 1796

---

Die beste Bildung findet ein gescheiter Mensch auf Reisen.
[Travel is the best education for the smart person. / A prudent man
finds the best education in travel.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre [Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship,
          Book 1, Chapter 3. Berlin: J.F. Unger, 1795-1796

---

Die Gegenwart ist eine mächtige Göttin.
Lern ihren Einfluss kennen.
[The present (time) is a powerful goddess.
Learn (to respect) her influence.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Torquato Tasso IV, 4, 1833, spoken by Antonio

---

Eine richtige Antwort ist wie ein lieblicher Kuß.
[An honest answer is like an affectionate kiss.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Maximen und Reflexionen [Maxims and Reflections]. Max Hecker,
          Editor. Weimar: Goethe-Gesellschaft, 1907, No.888, p.192

---

Ganz gleich, ob König oder Bauer, glücklich ist, wer Frieden
hat in seinem Heim.
    variant: Der ist am glücklichsten, ist er König oder Bauer,
        die Frieden in seinem Zuhause findet.
[He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

Hätte Gott mich anders gewolt, so hätt' er mich anders gebaut.
[If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Sprüche in Reimen. Zahme Xenien III. Leipzig: Intel-Verlag,
          1908, p.94

---

Kennst du das Land, wo die Zitronen blühn?
[Do you know the land where the lemon-trees flower?]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          "Kennst du das Land", Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre [Wilhelm
          Meister's Apprenticeship, Book 3, Chapter 1. Berlin: J.F. Unger, 1795-1796

---

Was man nicht versteht, besitzt man nicht.
[What we do not understand we do not possess.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          fragment, quoted in Herman Krüger-Westend. Goethes Sprüche in
          Prosa: Maximen und Reflexionen, Leipzig: Insel-Verlag, 1908

---

Wenn wir, sagtest du, die Menschen nur nehmen, wie sie sind, so machen
wir sie schlechter; wenn wir sie behandeln, als wären sie, was sie
sein sollten, so bringen wir sie dahin, wohin sie zu bringen sind.
[If you treat people as they are, they will stay as they are, but if you
treat them as if they were what they ought to be and could be, they will
become what they ought to be and what they could be.]
    variant: Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and
        you help them to become what they are capable of becoming.
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre [Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship,
          Book 8, Chapter 4. Berlin: J.F. Unger, 1795-1796

---

Wer fremde Sprachen nicht kennt, weiß nichts von seiner eigenen.
[A man who has no acquaintance with foreign languages knows nothing of his own.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Maximen und Reflexionen [Maxims and Reflections.], Aus Kunst und Alterthum,
          Dritten Bandes erstes Heft (Eigenes und Angeeignetes in Sprüchen) 1821, No.91
          (English translation by Bailey Saunders [New York: Macmillan, 1906])

---

Wer nie sein Brot mit Tränen aß,
Wer nie die kummervollen Nächte
Auf seinem Bette weinend saß,
Der kennt euch nicht, ihr himmlischen Mächte!
    [Who never ate his bread in tears,
      Who never through the mournful night
      Sat weeping on his bed with fears --,
      He knows not, heavenly powers, your might!]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre [Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship,
          Book 2, Chapter 13. Berlin: J.F. Unger, 1795-1796
          English translation by Margarete Münsterberg, 1916
          German text set to music by Franz Schubert in 1815-1822 (several settings) as
          "Harfenspieler" [Harpist's Song], D.325/D.478/D.480/Op.12; by Jean Sibelius in 1927,
          Op.113 No.7; and by many other composers

---

Wundern kann es mich nicht, daß unser Herr Christus mit Dirnen Gern und
mit Sündern gelebt, gehts mir doch eben auch so.
[I'm not surprised that our Lord Jesus Christ liked consorting with sinners
and with whores; after all, that's just what I fancy too.
    variant: Doesn't surprise me that Christ our Lord preferred to live
        with whores and sinners, seeing I go in for that myself.]
     --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göte](1749-1832)
          Venezianische Epigramme [Venetian Epigrams], 1790,
          quoted as Epigram No.19 in Johann Wolfgang von Goethe; Hans R. Vaget, Editor;
          and David Luke, Translator. Erotic Poems. Oxford: Oxford University
          Press, 1997, pp.80-81; variant translation attributed to Jerome Rothenberg (born 1931)

---

What's the point of having a democracy if people go around voting wrong?
     --David Goetsch (born mid-XXth century)
        and Jason Venokur (born mid-XXth century)
          3rd Rock from the Sun, TV series, "Dick, The Vote;", 27 October 1996
          spoken by Dr Dick Solomon (John Lithgow)

---

"Maybe," he said hesitantly, "maybe there is a beast."
. . . "What I mean is . . . maybe it's only us."
     --William Golding [Sir William Gerald Golding, CBE](1911-1993)
          Lord of the Flies. London: Faber and Faber, 1954
          Chapter 5, spoken by Simon

---

If I can't dance, I don't want to be a part of your revolution.
     --Emma Goldman (1869-1940)

---

Inconceivable! You use that word a lot.
I do not think it means what you think it does.
     --William Goldman (born 1931)
          The Princess Bride, 1987 film

---

Life is Pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
     --William Goldman (born 1931)
          The Princess Bride, 1987 film, spoken by Westley (Cary Elwes)

---

Every absurdity has now a champion to defend it . . . for error is
always talkative.
     --Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774)
          Dedication for "The Traveller, or a Prospect of Society" (1764),
          in The Works of Oliver Goldsmith. London: John Murray, Albermarle
          Street, 1854, p.4

---

Girls like to be played with, and rumpled too sometimes.
     --Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774)
          She Stoops to Conquer, 1771, first performed 1773
          spoken by Hardcastle to Sir Charles Marlow

---

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise.
There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious
beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than
Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being.
But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf
should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing
throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom.
They are trying to force government leaders into following their position
100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a
particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of
money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political
preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be
a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and "D." Just who do
they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the
right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as
a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who
thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll
call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every
step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all
Americans in the name of "conservatism."
     --Barry Goldwater [Barry Morris Goldwater](1909-1998)
          from the Congressional Record, September 16, 1981

---

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.
     --Barry Goldwater [Barry Morris Goldwater](1909-1998)
        when asked what he thought of Jerry Falwell's
        suggestion that all good Christians should be against Sandra Day O'Connor's
        nomination to the United States Supreme Court
          quoted in Ed Magnuson, "The Brethren's First Sister", Time
          Magazine, 20 July 1981

---

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
     --Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)
        the attribution is sometimes disputed, some claiming it was said by
        Lillian Hellman (1905-1984), and others

---

Don't pay attention to the critics -- don't even ignore them.
     --Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)

---

I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
     --Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)
          often attributed to Goldwyn, as quoted in Roger Butterfield, "Sam
          Goldwyn", Life Magazine, 27 October 1947, p.136

---

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
     --Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)

---

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on.
     --Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)
        disputed as a precise quote; according to Paul F. Boller and John George,
        They Never Said It, New York/Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1989, p.42,
        Goldwyn, referring to movie executive Joseph M. Schenck, actually said,
        "His verbal contract is worth more than the paper it's written on."

---

As a rule of thumb, it is never what you do do that makes you
neurotic, but what you don't do. It is never what you feel, but what you
can't feel that is suspect.
     --Paul Goodman (1911-1972)
        Interview, Psychology Today, November 1971, p.96

---

The family is the ultimate American fascism.
     --Paul Goodman (1911-1972)
          quoted in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black Dog &
          Leventhal, 2007, p.166

---

It is desperately hard these days for an average child to grow up to be
a man, for our present organized system of society does not want men.
They are not safe. They do not suit. . . . It is impossible for the
average boy to grow up and use the remarkable capacities that are in
every boy, unless the world is for him and makes sense.
     --Paul Goodman (1911-1972)
          Growing Up Absurd. New York: Random House, 1960, pp.14-16

---

The enemies of gay liberation are those who hate us
on account of our humanity.
     --David B. Goodstein (1932-1985)
          The Advocate, 13 February 1975

---

That's what History does - it gives us solace . . . if we look back
at it and do things different.
     --Doris Kearns Goodwin (born 1943)
          paraphrased from her comments during a CNN interview, 8 January 2021

---

That smile


Be careful with that smile
for it seeps into your eyes
and love, innocent but not naïve,
pours over me
in a waterfall of whimsey
so I am drenched in tenderness


No, don't you be careful
but rather I shall be
lest I drown
in yearning for possession
of a waterfall
which can never be owned
but, by falling, is
     --June Goodwin (born mid-XXth century)

---

When one thinks of the real agony one has gone through in consequence of
false teaching, it makes human nature angry with the teachers who have
added to the bitterness of life.
     --Gen. Gordon [Major-General Charles George Gordon, CB/Chinese Gordon/Gordon Pasha/Gordon of Khartoum](1833-1885)
          quoted in Anthony Wons. Tony's Scrap Book, 1932-33 Edition.
          Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1932, p.14
          This quote may be interpreted as a criticism of any teaching that is
          based in ulterior purposes or not firmly rooted in truth and constructive
          motivation; Gen. Gordon, however, a devout Christian, probably was
          alluding to "false teaching" of the type to which St Paul was
          referring in his first letter to Timothy: "You may charge certain
          persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to occupy themselves with
          myths and endless genealogies which promote speculations. . . . Certain
          persons by swerving from these have wandered away into vain discussion,
          desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they
          are saying or the things about which they make assertions."
          (I Timothy I:3-7, RSV)

---

One of the hardest things in the world
    is to learn how to live your life
And even harder
    is to pass on that knowledge.
     --Ruth Gordon (1896-1985)
          interview in The Christian Science Monitor, 6 June 1977

---

Everything you eat is seasoned by memories.
     --Shirley Gordon (1921-2008)
          The Courtship of Eddie's Father, "Gifts are for Giving"
          first airdate 23 December 1970; spoken by Tom Corbett (Eddie's father)

---

The only things you really keep
are the things you give away.
     --Shirley Gordon (1921-2008)
          The Courtship of Eddie's Father, "Gifts are for Giving"
          first airdate 23 December 1970; spoken by Tom Corbett (Eddie's father)

---

I'm not the person your mother warned you about -- her imagination isn't
that good.
     --Amy Gorin

---

When you're hungry at school, you need to know:
Paste, yes; boogers, no.
     --Eddie Gorodetsky (born mid-XXth century)
        and Susan Beavers [Susan Joyce Beavers](born mid-XXth century)
          "Pie Hole, Herb", Two and a Half Men, TV series, 29 September 2008
          sung by Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)

---

You can't keep Jake from ever getting hurt. He's a boy. Getting hurt is
like his job. Last summer he actually fractured his ass doing a cannonball
into the bathtub.
     --Eddie Gorodetsky (born mid-XXth century)
        and Mark Roberts (born 1961)
          "Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats", Two and a Half Men, TV series, 23 February 2004
          spoken by Alan Harper (Jon Cryer), to Jake's uncle Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)

---

"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason
so simple and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is
false, and because good teachers understand exactly why it is false.
What could be more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious
commodity in our entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than
a bill forcing honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting
equal treatment to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated
to undermine any general understanding of science as an enterprise?
     --Stephen Jay Gould (1941-2002)
          "The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988 , p.186

---

We must counterpose the overwhelming judgment provided by consistent
observations and inferences by the thousands. The earth is billions of
years old and its living creatures are linked by ties of evolutionary
descent. Scientists stand accused of promoting dogma by so stating, but
do we brand people illiberal when they proclaim that the earth is neither
flat nor at the center of the universe? Science has taught us some
things with confidence! Evolution on an ancient earth is as well
established as our planet's shape and position. Our continuing struggle
to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution")
does not cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of
evolution" -- into doubt.
     --Stephen Jay Gould (1941-2002)
          "The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume XII Number 2, Winter 1987/1988

---

La fantasia abandonada de la razón produce monstruos imposibles;
unida con ella es madre de los artes y origen de las maravillas
[Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.]
     --Francisco Goya [Francisco de Goya y Lucientes](1746-1828)
          explaining (describing) his work, "El sueno de la razon produce
          monstruos, No.43" ["The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters,
          No.43"] (1799), quoted in André Stoll, Tulliola Sparagni,
          Antonello Negri, Accademia di belle arti (Naples), Fondazione
          Antonio Mazzotta, Museo nazionale di Castel Sant'Angelo. Goya, Daumier,
          Grosz: Il trionfo dell'idiozia. Milano: Mazzotta, 1992, p.31

---

We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is
danger of no confusion.
     --Ronald L. Graham (born 1935)
          Rudiments of Ramsey Theory. Providence RI: American Mathematical Society, 1981

---

Dr Hannah Awkward (Emily Bruni): You don't seem very despondent
    about the impending end of civilisation. [NOTE: everyone has been told that
    a meteor will soon strike and destroy the earth.)
Professor Adonis Cnut (Rik Mayall): Well, it depends what you mean by
    "civilisation". Of course, I'll mourn the explosive vaporisation
    of the Parthenon, the Taj Mahal, Kylie Minogue's gluteus maximus, but will
    we really miss, for example, Celebrity Chefs . . .
HA: No.
AC: text messaging . . .
HA: Hardly.
AC: Big Brother, New Labour, Alcopops, the National Lottery Draw Live,
    the word 'designer' used as an adjective . . .
HA: Certainly not!
AC: alternative medicine, cars with "Baby on Board" signs,
    ready meals . . .
HA: I quite like "Che Guevara's Traditional Boil-in-the-Bag
    Vegetarian Fajitas".
AC: Yeah [Cnut ignores her], body piercing, people who say 'wicked'
    when they mean 'quite nice', gas companies that sell electricity,
    electricity companies that sell gas! No, no. Far better is [for] you
    and I to start with a clean slate, Hannah.
     --Maurice Gran [Maurice Bernard Gran](born 1949)
        and Laurence Marks (born 1948)
          Believe Nothing, TV series, Season 1 Episode 2: "Prepare to Meteor Maker", 2002

---

Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.
     --Cary Grant [Archibald Alexander Leach](1904-1986)

---

Oxygen's for losers!
     --Rob Grant (born mid-XXth century)
        and Doug Naylor (born 1955)
          Red Dwarf, TV series, "Confidence and Paranoia", 1988
          spoken by the character called Lister's Confidence (Craig Ferguson)

---

I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously.
     --Doctor Graper
          widely quoted, unsourced, without further author attribution

---

How therapeutic it is to surround yourself with people weirder
than yourself.
     --Spalding Gray [Spalding Rockwell Gray](1941-2004)

---

Trying is the first step toward failure.
     --Dan Greaney
          The Simpsons, TV series, "Realty Bites", 7 December 1997
          spoken by Homer Simpson

---

I do not regret having braved public opinion, when I knew it was
wrong and was sure it would be merciless.
     --Horace Greeley (1811-1872)
          letter to Charles Lanman, 27 June 1872

---

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to
despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.
     --Russell Green

---

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble
we take to have sex.
     --Dan Greenburg (born 1936)

---

Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought.
     --Graham Greene [Henry Graham Greene, OM, CH](1904-1991)
          The Spectator, 18 April 1981

---

Sentimentality -- that's what we call the sentiment we don't share.
     --Graham Greene [Henry Graham Greene, OM, CH](1904-1991)

---

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and
lets the future in.
     --Graham Greene [Henry Graham Greene, OM, CH](1904-1991)
          The Power and the Glory. London: Collins, 1940, Part 1, Chapter 1

---

In the absolute sense of the term, a word
has no "essential" meaning. Words are conventional
signs. They mean what they are intended to mean
by the speaker and understood to mean by the hearer.
     --James Broadstreet Greenough (1833-1901)
          and George Lyman Kittredge (1860-1941)
          Words and Their Ways in English Speech. New York: Macmillan Co., 1901

---

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white
dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
     --Dick Gregory (born 1932)

---

Statistically, one hundred percent of the shots you don't take
don't go in.
     --Wayne Gretzky [Wayne Douglas Gretzky](born 1961)

---

A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain,
would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to
watch their friend suffer.
     --Amanda Grier

---

Only yesterday I was brash, defiant and full of endorphins and excess amino
acids.
     --Bill Griffith [William Henry Jackson Griffith](born 1944)

---

Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the
long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost.
The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. The source of
better ideas is wisdom. The surest path to wisdom is a liberal education.
     --A. Whitney Griswold [Alfred Whitney Griswold](1906-1963)
          Essays on Education. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1954

---

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of
friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
     --Matt Groening (born 1954)

---

Anything anybody can say about America is true.
     --Emmett Grogan [Eugene Grogan](c.1943-1978)
          quoted in Samuel Sandmel. Tomorrow's American. New York: Oxford
          University Press, 1977, p.134

---

It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
     --Terry Grossman (born mid-XXth century)
        and Kathy Speer (born mid-XXth century)
          The Golden Girls TV series, "Blanche's Little Girl", 9 January 1988
          spoken by Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur)

---

Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
     --Charles H. Grosvenor [Charles Henry Grosvenor](1833-1917)

---

Myself


I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am,
I don't want to dress myself in a sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
Whatever happens I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.
     --Edgar A. Guest [Edgar Albert Guest](1881-1959)
          in Collected Verse of Edgar A. Guest. Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1934, p.724

---

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day.
     --Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
          "I'd Rather See a Sermon", in Collected Verse of Edgar A.
          Guest. Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1934

---

El revolucionario verdadero está guiado por grandes sentimientos de amor.
[The true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.]
     --Che Guevara [Ernesto Guevara](1928-1967)
          "Socialism and Man in Cuba", A letter to Carlos Quijano, editor
          of Marcha, a weekly newspaper published in Montevideo; the essay
          was later published as "From Algiers, for Marcha: The Cuban
          Revolution Today", 12 March 1965; the same remark may have been
          included in a speech Guevara made to university students in 1959

---

Silence is argument carried out by other means.
     --Che Guevara [Ernesto Guevara](1928-1967)
          quoted, unsourced, in Earl Ernest Guile. Secrets to a Richer Life:
          Illuminating Wisdom from the Human Family on the 37 Ultimate Questions..
          Lincoln NE: iUniverse, 2005, p.225

---

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
     --Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

---

Hyacinths


If of they mortal goods thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store
two loaves alone to thee are left,
Sell one, and with the dole
Buy hyacinths to feed the soul.
     --attributed to the Gulistan of Moslih Eddin Saadi [c.1184-1291]
        Mohammedan sheik and Persian poet

---

In most of world now . . . people only want happiness. Other things
also important: suffering important because is also part of life,
necessary part. Without suffering man cannot grow. . . .
When man suffer he feel only self-pity. Not so if real man.
Real man also sometimes feel happiness, real happiness; but when
he also feel real suffering, he not try to stop this thing
in self. He accept this because he know is proper to man.
Must suffer to know truth about self; must learn suffer with
will. When suffering come to man must make intentional
suffering, must feel with all being; must wish with such suffering
that it will help make conscious; help to understand.
     --G.I. Gurdjieff [George Ivanovich Gurdjieff](1866-1949)
          quoted by Fritz Peters in Boyhood With Gurdjieff,
          New York: E.P. Dutton, 1964, p.96

---

            We are |
Everything is | evolving God.
     --Arlo Guthrie (born 1947)
          David Frost Show (television, New York)
          airing in Los Angeles 22 September 1970

---

It's round the world I've traveled; it's round the world I've roamed;
but I've yet to see an outlaw drive a family from its home.
     --Woody Guthrie (1912-1967)
          Pretty Boy Floyd, 1940s song

---

What is it that troubles you? Death?
    Who lives forever?
Or because your foot has stumbled on the earth?
    There is no man who has never stumbled.
     --Schemuel Ha-Nagid [Samuel Haleviben Joseph ibn Nagdela](993-1055)

---

That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude.
     --Alexander Haig (1924-2010)

---

The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that
would be clearly understood.
     --Alexander Haig (1924-2010)

---

He seems to have an inordinate fondness for beetles.
     --J.B.S. Haldane [John Burdon Sanderson Haldane, FRS](1892-1964)

---

My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we
suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.
     --J.B.S. Haldane [John Burdon Sanderson Haldane](1892-1965)
          Possible Worlds and Other Essays. Chatto & Windus, 1927, p.286 (italics in original)

---

The analysis of one's own culture simply makes
explicit the many things we take for granted
in our everyday lives. Talking about them,
however, changes our relation with them.
We move into an active and understanding
correspondence with those aspects of our
existence which are all too frequently taken
for granted or which sometimes weigh heavily
upon us. Talking about them frees us
from their restraint.
     --Edward Twitchell Hall Jr (1914-2009)
          The Silent Language. Garden City NY: Doubleday & Company, 1959

---

The sunset on which we gaze with melancholy eyes is a sunrise
on the other side of the world, and the vanishing days can
take from us nothing that may not be restored by some day yet unborn.
     --Eliza Calvert Hall [Eliza Caroline 'Lida' Obenchain, née Calvert](1856-1935)
          The Land of Long Ago. Boston: Little, Brown & Company, 1909, p.290

---

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here
for, I don't know.
     --John Foster Hall [The Revd. Vivian Foster, the Vicar of Mirth](1867-1945)
          quoted (unattributed) in W.H. Auden (1907-1973). The Complete Works of
          W.H. Auden. Prose, Volume 2, 1939-1948. Princeton NJ: Princeton University
          Press, 2002, p.347 (cf. variants on pp. 160, 180, and 424; Hall's authorship
          verified by R. Meikel, Spectator, 22 November 2002

---

"And what do military commanders have to do with statecraft
and policy?"
"They die for it, my lord."
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Armies of Daylight: The Darwath Series (Book Three).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1983, spoken by Alwir Minalde

---

Don't tell me you still believe in coincidence . . .
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Time of the Dark: The Darwath Series (Book One).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1982, spoken by Ingold Inglorion

---

God has judged me all my life. But that is God's privilage. Not yours.
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Armies of Daylight: The Darwath Series (Book Three).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1983, spoken by Ingold Inglorion

---

Hard work is the novocaine of the soul.
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Armies of Daylight: The Darwath Series (Book Three).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1983

---

To kill is to survive the fight. To kill is to want very much to live.
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Time of the Dark: The Darwath Series (Book One).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1982, spoken by The Icefalcon

---

What I've been through would scare any self-respecting bacteria into
extinction.
     --Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
          The Time of the Dark: The Darwath Series (Book One).
          New York: Ballantine Books, 1982, spoken by Rudy Solis

---

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
     --Alex Hamilton (born 1936)
          "Born Old" (1978 radio broadcast)
          transcribed in The Listener, 9 November 1979, according to
          Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (online version:
          https://www.lifesmith.com/Berkeley%20Teaching/
          The%20Oxford%20Dictionary%20Of%20Quotations.pdf )
          Similar versions of this idea have been credited to many others,
          including: Peter Marshall (1902-1949), Chaplain of the United States
          Senate, 1947; Ginger Rogers (1911-1995) in 1978; Malcolm X (1925-1965),
          who used it as a proverb in one of his speeches (date unknown);
          Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968); and even Rosa Parks
          (1913-2005), who, without claiming original authorship, said,
          "Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Today's mighty
          oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground." (date unknown).

---

Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh
only 1-1/2 tons.
     --Andrew Hamilton (born c.1900)
          "Brains that Click", Popular Mechanics [price: 25c],
          Volume 91 Number 3, March 1949, p.258

---

Do not seek death; death will find you.
But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
     --Dag Hammarskjöld [Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld](1905-1961)

---

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.
But what we put into it is ours.
     --Dag Hammarskjöld [Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld](1905-1961)

---

We got to go to Cowboy Camp and have a bunch of cowboys kick the city
out of us.
     --Armie Hammer [Armand Douglas Hammer](born 1986)
          "Good Morning America", ABC-TV, 25 June 2013
          on his preparation for the title role in The Lone Ranger (2013)

---

The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
     --R.W. Hamming [Richard Wesley Hamming](1915-1998)
          Numerical Methods for Scientists and Engineers. New York, McGraw-Hill, 1962

---

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a
lamppost how it feels about dogs.
     --Christopher Hampton (born 1946)

---

Masturbation is the thinking man's television.
     --Christopher Hampton [Christopher James Hampton, CBE, FRSL](born 1946)
          "The Philanthropist", premiered at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre,
          New York City, 15 March 1971, Scene 3, Braham to Don

---

The only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable.
     --Christopher Hampton [Christopher James Hampton](born 1946)
          Total Eclipse, 1995 film,
          spoken by Arthur Rimbaud (Leonardo di Caprio)

---

The face of a child can say it all. Especially the mouth part of the face.
     --Jack Handey (born 1949)

---

Usenet is just email with witnesses.
     --Rob Hansen

---

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit,
to do the unnecessary.
     --Richard Harkness (1907-1977)

---

Alcohol is a slow poison. But who's in a hurry?
     --Robert Harley (born 1970)
        also attributed to Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

---

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
     --Lucille S. Harper (fl. mid-XXth century)

---

No church has the prerogative of telling you what to believe. Churches
employ creeds, but creeds are guidelines, not enforced dogmas. They
are human products, presenting the best understanding when they were
written, but not immune to change. . . . Finally -- tolerance.
An appreciation for the beliefs of others must be taught by a worthy
church. A faith without tolerance is no faith at all.
     --Rev Glendon Harris (fl. mid-XXth century)

---

Six years for possession of a cigarette? . . . I got six months for
possession of a deadly weapon!
     --Sidney Harris [S. Harris](born mid-XXth century)
        cartoon caption, unsourced

---

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)

---

Many people feel "guilty" about things they shouldn't
feel guilty about, in order to shut out feelings of guilt about things
they should feel guilty about.
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)

---

Nobody ever imagines that he is, by double-parking and forcing a stream of
traffic to go around him, in any way contributing to the disintegration
of society; and yet it is precisely in such tiny ways that the fabric
of the community is torn asunder, with each person blaming some vast
abstraction called "They," and defending his mild
transgression as merely a necessary part of "the struggle to
survive."
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
          "Harris Issues Thoughts at Large" The Daily Journal
          (Fergus Falls, Minnesota)[Publishers-Hall Syndicate], 10 November 1971, p.4

---

People who think they're generous to a fault usually think that's
their only fault.
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)

---

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men,
but that men will begin to think like computers.
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)

---

When you run into someone who is disagreeable to others,
you may be sure he is uncomfortable with himself;
the amount of pain we inflict upon others is directly proportional
to the amount we feel within us.
     --Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
          "Harris Issues Thoughts at Large" The Daily Journal
          (Fergus Falls, Minnesota)[Publishers-Hall Syndicate], 10 November 1971, p.4

---

The history of the Universe has been summed up thusly:
"Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas, which, given enough time,
turns into people."
     --Edward R. Harrison [Edward Robert 'Ted' Harrison](1919-2007)
          as quoted by John P. Wiley Jr in "Phenomena, Comment & Notes".
          Smithsonian, December 1995

---

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
     --Jennifer Hart

---

Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec.
     --Johnny Hart (1931-2007)
        U.S. cartoonist

---

If man evolved from the ape, how come there are still apes
around? Some of them were given choices.
     --Johnny Hart (1931-2007)
          "B.C.", syndicated newspaper comic strip

---

In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been
times like these.
     --Paul Harvey [Paul Harvey Aurandt](1918-2009)
          quoted in Martin R. Lipp. Respectful Treatment: The Human Side of
          Medical Care. Hagerstown MD: Harper & Row (Medical Department), 1977

---

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
    "Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown."
And he replied:
    "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
    That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."
     --Minnie Louise Haskins (1875-1957)
          from her poem "God Knows", in a poetry collection called
          The Desert, published in 1908
          quoted by King George VI in his 1939 Christmas Radio address
          used in the YMCA Brown Rag study guide

---

There are limits to imagination.
     --Robert Hass (born 1941)
          "Heroic Simile", in Praise. New York:HarperCollins, 1978

---

Why waste a moment when April is here?
     --Christopher Hassall (1912-1963)
          "Fly Home, Little Heart" (song), from King's Rhapsody
          music by Ivor Novello (1893-1951)
          first produced at the Palace Theatre, London, 15 September 1949

---

Seek the company of those who are looking for the truth,
and run away from those who have found it.
     --Vaclav Havel (1936-2011)
        inaugural speech as first president of the new Czech Republic, 1993

---

You do not become a "dissident" just because you decide one day
to take up this most unusual career. You are thown into it by your
personal sense of responsibility, combined with a complex set of
external circumstances. You are cast out of the existing structures
and placed in a position of conflict with them. It begins as an attempt
to do your work well, and ends with being branded an enemy of society.
     --Vaclav Havel (1936-2011)

---

Life's the same, except for my shoes.
     --Greg Hawkes [Gregory A. Hawkes](born 1952)
        and Ric Ocasek [Richard T. Otcasek](born 1949)
          "Moving in Stereo", song from The Cars album The Cars (1978)

---

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance,
it is the illusion of knowledge.
     --Stephen Hawking (1942-2018)

---

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it
says something about human nature that the only form of
life we have created is purely destructive. We've created life
in our own image.
     --Stephen Hawking (1942-2018)

---

But it is a strange experience, to a man of pride and sensibility,
to know that his interests are within the control of individuals
who neither love nor understand him, and by whom, since one or the
other must needs happen, he would rather be injured than obliged.
Strange, too, for one who has kept his calmness throughout the
contest, to observe the bloodthirstiness that is developed in the
hour of triumph, and to be conscious that he is himself among its
objects! There are few uglier traits of human nature than this
tendency -- which I now witnessed in men no worse than their
neighbours -- to grow cruel, merely because they possessed the
power of inflicting harm.
     --Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)
          The Custom-House, Introductory to The Scarlet Letter (1850)

---

It contributes greatly towards a man's moral and intellectual health,
to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike
himself, who care little for his pursuits, and whose sphere and
abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.
     --Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)
          The Custom-House: Introductory to
          The Scarlet Letter (1850)

---

Always side with the truth. It's much bigger than you are.
     --Teresa Nielsen Hayden (born 1956)

---

The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70.
     --Helen Hayes (1900-1993)
        spoken at age 83

---

Everyone in a crowd has the power to throw dirt: nine out of ten have the
inclination.
     --William Hazlitt (1778-1830)

---

Gravity is a harsh mistress.
     --Randolph Heard (born mid-XXth century)
          The Tick, TV series, 2001-2002,
          spoken by The Tick (Patrick Warburton)

---

Modern psychology takes completely for granted that behavior and neural
function are perfectly correlated, that one is completely caused by the
other. There is no separate soul or lifeforce to stick a finger into the
brain now and then and make neural cells do what they would not otherwise.
Actually, of course, this is a working assumption only. . . . It is quite
conceivable that someday the assumption will have to be rejected. But it
is important also to see that we have not reached that day yet: the
working assumption is a necessary one and there is no real evidence
opposed to it. Our failure to solve a problem so far does not make it
insoluble. One cannot logically be a determinist in physics and biology,
and a mystic in psychology.
     --D.O. Hebb [Donald Olding Hebb](1904-1985)
          Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological Theory. New York:
          John Wiley & Sons, 1949

---

If something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
     --Donald Hebb [Donald Olding Hebb](1904-1985)
          quoted by Daniel C. Dennett (born 1942) in Convocation Address at McGill
          University (Montréal) (date unknown)

---

No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people
on your side that you wish were on the other.
     --Jascha Heifetz (1901-1987)

---

Problems worthy
of attack
prove their worth
by hitting back.
     --Piet Hein (1905-1996)
          "Problems", in Grooks, p.2

---

Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son motier. [God will forgive me. It's his job.]
     --Heinrich Heine [Harry Heine/Christian Johann Heinrich Heine](1797-1856)
        purportedly last words, said on his deathbed

---

There are more fools in the world than there are people.
     --Heinrich Heine [Harry Heine/Christian Johann Heinrich Heine](1797-1856)

---

Wherever books are burned, men, also, are burned.
     --Heinrich Heine [Harry Heine/Christian Johann Heinrich Heine](1797-1856)

---

All men must die, it was their single common heritage. But a book
need never die and should not be killed; books were the immortal
part of man.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Farnham's Freehold. New York: Putnam, 1964
          spoken by Hugh Farnham

---

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

An armed society is a polite society.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Be creative, invent a perversion.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          The Notebooks of Lazarus Long. New York: Ace Books, 1978
          spoken by Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson Smith]

---

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -
and miss.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Censorship is never logical but, like cancer, it is dangerous
to ignore when it shows up.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than
an optimist, but an optimist has more fun -- and neither can stop the
march of events.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Time Enough For Love. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1973, p.108
          spoken by Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson Smith]

---

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1966, p.79
          spoken by Manuel Kelly Garcia Davis
          line added, in parentheses, on some Web sites: "(Note, however, that
          virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)"

---

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

History has the relation to truth that theology has to
religion -- i.e. none to speak of.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Time Enough for Love. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1973
          spoken by Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson Smith]

---

I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable,
I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free
because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

I believe . . . that we will always make it . . . survive . . . endure.
    variant: There will always be survivors. (This is the
        most-often-quoted version, but an authentic source for this wording
        could not be found in an Internet search 2014.01.31.)
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          "This I Believe", written for the Edward R. Murrow Radio Show,
          This I Believe, 1952

---

In a mature society, 'Civil servant' is semantically equal to
'civil master.'
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          The Notebooks of Lazarus Long. New York: Ace Books, 1978
          spoken by Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson Smith]

---

In a society in which it is a mortal offense to be different from your
neighbors your only escape is never to let them find out.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

An insult is like a drink; it affects one only if accepted.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Glory Road, spoken by Star

---

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is
essential to your own.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Love is what still goes on when you are not horny.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Time Enough for Love. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1973, p.295
          spoken by Lazarus Long [Woodrow Wilson Smith]

---

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Natural laws have no pity.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

On two subjects the overwhelming majority of people regarded their own
opinions as Absolute Truth, and sincerely believed that anyone who
disagreed with them was immoral, outrageous, sinful, sacrilegious,
offensive, intolerable, stupid, illogical, treasonable, actionable,
against the public interest, ridiculous, and obscene. The two subjects
were (of course) sex and religion.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

One man's magic is another man's engineering.
Supernatural is a null word.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other
"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful -
just stupid.)
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          The Notebooks of Lazarus Long. New York: Ace Books, 1978

---

Sin? Sin like love was a word hard to define. It came in two bitter but
vastly different flavors. The first lay in violating the taboos of your
tribe . . . The other meaning of sin was easier to define because it was
not molded by the murky concepts of religion and taboo: Sin is behavior
that ignores the welfare of others.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Time Enough for Love. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1973, pp.489-490

---

There are a lot of people who are going to be visiting my gravesite
not only to make sure I'm there but that I stay there.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1966
          spoken by computer Mike/Adam Selene

---

To be 'matter of fact' about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and
dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

"Violence accomplishes nothing." What a contemptible lie!
Raw, naked violence has settled more issues throughout history than
any other method ever
employed. Perhaps the city fathers of Carthage could debate the issue, with
Hitler and Alexander as judges?
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to
its subjects, "This you may not read, this you must not see, this
you are forbidden to know," the end result is tyranny and oppression,
no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control
a man whose mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force
can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack,
not fission bombs, not anything -- you can't conquer a free man; the
most you can do is kill him.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

Women and Cats do as they please, and men and dogs might as well
relax to it.
variant: Women and cats do as they dammed well please.
    Men and dogs had best learn to live with it.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          proverb known on the (fictional) planet Center, quoted in
          Glory Road. New York: Putnam, 1963
          variant credited to Alan Holbrook

---

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on
having both at once.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
     --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)

---

And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. . . . He's not working at
all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. . . . Good God,
how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary
to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system
of Creation?
     --Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
          Catch 22. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1961, Chapter 18
          spoken by Yossarian; sometimes incorrectly attributed to H.L. Mencken
          [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)

---

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed,
no matter which side he is on.
     --Joseph Heller (1923-1999)

---

Christian is a VERB not a noun.
     --Meria Heller (born c.1950)

---

[Courage is] grace under pressure.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)
          "Fifty Grand" (short story), The Atlantic Monthly, 1927; also
          Men Without Women. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1927

---

Every man should have a built-in automatic crap detector operating inside
him. It also should have a manual drill and a crank handle in case the
machine breaks down.
    variant: In order to be a great writer a person must have a
        built-in, shockproof crap detector.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)
          Robert Manning [writing about his 1954 interview with Hemingway],
          The Atlantic Monthly, August 1965, p.104
          variant quoted in Neil Postman and Charles Weingartner.
              Teaching as a Subversive Activity. New York: Delacorte Press, 1969, p.3

---

God knows, people who are paid to have attitudes toward
things, professional critics, make me sick; camp-following
eunuchs of literature. They won't even whore. They're all
virtuous and sterile. And how well meaning and high minded.
But they're all camp-followers.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway](1899-1961)
          Letter to Sherwood Anderson (23 May 1925);
          published in Carlos Baker, Editor. Ernest Hemingway: Selected
          Letters 1917-1961

---

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)

---

Never mistake motion for action.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)

---

So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel
good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)
          Death in the Afternoon. New York: Collier, 1932
          writing about his feelings regarding bullfighting

---

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong
at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills.
It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very
brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be
sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.
     --Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway](1899-1961)
          A Farewell to Arms (1929), Chapter 34

---

You saw a hurting you could help and did something about it.
Without stopping to count the cost. That's what love does.
     --Zenna Henderson [Zenna Chlarson Henderson](1917-1983)

---

Deteriorata


(NOTE: obviously, this is a parody of the Desiderata shown above.
Please resist the temptation to take it seriously!)


[Refrain]:
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.


Go placidly amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.


Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.


Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss . . . and when!


Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that three . . . do.


Wherever possible, put people on hold.


Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.


Remember the Pueblo.


Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.


Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.


Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.


Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.


Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.


Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.


Hire people with hooks.


For a good time call 606-4311; ask for "Ken."


Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.


And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.


Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be --
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.


With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.


Give up!
     --Tony Hendra (born 1941)
          National Lampoon Radio Dinner, 1972 comedy recording

---

The universe is laughing behind your back.
     --Tony Hendra (born 1941)
          from "Deteriorata" (q.v.), National Lampoon Radio Dinner,
          1972 comedy album

---

I'm the one that's got to die
When it's time for me to die,
So let me live my life the way I want to.
     --Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970)
          "If 6 Was 9", from the album Axis: Bold as Love, 1967

---

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
     --Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970)

---

When the power of love overcomes the love of power,
the world will know peace.
     --Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970)

---

Invictus


Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.
     --William Ernest Henley (1849-1903)

---

I was born with the blues. I was an unlucky child. I was abandoned on
a doorstep . . . by my foster parents. They made sure I was safe:
they put me in a black plastic bag, and they tied that sucker
real tight!
     --Lenny Henry [Lenworth George Henry, CBE](born 1958)
        in his character Low-Down Left-Handed Dirty Hound Dog
          The Secret Policeman's Third Ball, 1987 film

---

All this and heaven too.
     --Matthew Henry (1662-1714)

---

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
     --O. Henry [William Sydney Porter](1862-1910)

---

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price
of chains and slavery?
     --Patrick Henry (1736-1799)

---

TV is the workhorse of our consumer society. And all TV asks is that you
think, merely think about purchasing some of its fine products and ideas.
No obligations, no expectations, no hard feelings if you're not buying
today. No. Just have a look-see, is all TV asks. Oh, the medium is
so generous, so compassionate, so understanding. [Fighting back tears.]
It does your thinking for you. It is your friend. Oh, it gives so much,
and asks so little. And yet, there are some who don't rush to embrace it.
But TV doesn't hold that against them, no sir! You see, TV knows that it's
not their fault. TV takes the blame. And TV knows what to do: give you
more channels. As many as it takes. Until we find the one, the one
that is right for you. And then you and TV can become one. Meanwhile, I've
got 30 more houses to hook up before nightfall. And we are going for
total penetration! Hallelujah, boys!
     --Jim Henshaw (born 1949)
        and Peter Mohan (born mid-XXth century)
          Eerie, Indiana: The Other Dimension, TV series, "Switching Channels", 1998
          spoken by Ted Tanner (Richard McMillan), Eerie's local cable-TV salesman

---

Men are doubtful and skeptical about the Church; they suspect and dislike
the clergy: they are impatient of theological systems; but for Jesus
Christ, as he stands out to view in the sacred pages, as they dimly realize
Him in their own best selves, as they catch faint traces of Him in the
lives of His saints, they have no other sentiments than those of
respect and affection.
     --Herbert Hensley Henson (1863-1947)

---

Never let yourself hate any person. It is the most devastating weapon
of one's enemies.
     --Dr Thomas Norval Hepburn (1879-1962)
          in a letter to his daughter, Katharine Hepburn, 12 May 1928

---

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
     --Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003)

---

It is not good for all you wishes to be fulfilled:
Through sickness you recognize the value of health.
Through evil, the value of good.
Through hunger, satisfaction.
Through exertion, the value of rest.
     --Ηρακλειτος [Heraclitus of Ephesus](c.535-c.475 BCE)

---

A man's character is his fate.
     --Ηρακλειτος [Heraclitus of Ephesus](c.535-c.475 BCE)
          quoted by Mestrius Plutarchus [Plutarch](c.46-120 CE) in
          Morals [Platonic Questions]

---

Much learning does not teach thought.
     --Ηρακλειτος [Heraclitus of Ephesus](c.535-c.475 BCE)

---

The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same.
     --Ηρακλειτος [Heraclitus of Ephesus](c.535-c.475 BCE)

---

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
     --Anne Herbert (born 1952)
          "Handy Tips on How to Behave at the Death of the World"
          Whole Earth Review, Spring 1995, p.88

---

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience.
    variant: Life is a process, not a principle, a mystery to be
        lived, not a problem to be solved.
     --Frank Herbert [Franklin Patrick Herbert Jr](1920-1986)
          Dune. Philadelphia: Chilton Books, 1965/New York: Ace Books, 1999,
          p.491; the variant is found (unquoted, unsourced) in Gerard Thomas
          Straub. Salvation for Sale: An Insider's View of Pat Robertson.
          Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1988, p.28

---

Hatred is a banquet until you recognize you are the main course.
     --Herbert Benson, M.D. (born 1935)
        founder of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Massachusetts General
        Hospital in Boston

---

Manuscript (n.): Something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
     --Oliver Herford (1863-1935)

---

Only the young die good.
     --Oliver Herford (1863-1935)

---

The democratic postulate is that the media are independent and committed
to discovering and reporting the truth, and that they do not merely reflect
the world as powerful groups wish it to be perceived. . . . If, however,
the powerful are able to fix the premises of discourse, to decide what the
general populace is allowed to see, hear, and think about, and to "manage"
public opinion by regular propaganda campaigns, the standard view of how
the system works is at serious odds with reality.
     --Edward S. Herman (born 1925)
          and Noam Chomsky [Avram Noam Chomsky](born 1928). Manufacturing Consent:
          The Political Economy of the Mass Media. New York: Pantheon Books/London:
          Random House, 1988

---

I'm sick of being trodden on! The Elder Gods say they can make me a man!
All it costs is my soul! I'll do it, cuz NOW I'M MAD!!!
     --Jack Herman (born mid-XXth century)
          Necronomicomics #1, 1983, art by Jeff Dee (born 1961)

---

One paradox, however, must be accepted and this is that
it is necessary to continually attempt the seemingly
impossible.
     --Herman Hesse (1877-1962)

---

Opinions are like assholes -- everyone's got one, but nobody wants to
look at the other guy's.
     --Hal Hickman
        sometimes attributed to "Winston Hal Hickman"

---

I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the
fucking arms; you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries,
then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the
world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the
pistol at the sheepherder's feet. 'Pick it up.' 'I don't wanna pick it up,
mister, you'll shoot me.' 'Pick up the gun.' 'Mister, I don't want no
trouble, I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids,
some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes
through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no
trouble. Mister.' 'Pick up the gun.' The sheepherder picks up the gun,
three shots ring out. 'You all saw him, he had a gun.'
     --Bill Hicks (1961-1994)

---

If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't
see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches?
     --Bill Hicks (1961-1994)
        referencing the Waco, Texas siege, 1993

---

People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" Nothing.
"Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile."
Yeah, well, it takes more energy to point that out than it does to
leave me alone.
     --Bill Hicks [William Melvin Hicks](1961-1994)

---

Harold: You sure have a way with people.
Maude: Well, they're my species.
     --Colin Higgins (1941-1988)
          Harold and Maude, 1971 film

---

Much of the world's sorrow comes from
people who are this -- yet allow themselves
to be treated as that.
     --Colin Higgins (1941-1988)
          Harold and Maude, 1971 film
          spoken by Maude (Ruth Gordon [1896-1985])

---

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos.
     --Jim Hightower [James Allen Hightower](born 1943)
          Time, 3 April 1989

---

Be sincere.
I say to you, always be sincere.
Even if you don't mean it.
     --Benny Hill (1924-1992)

---

Give me two personal pronouns. 'Who? Me?' Correct.
     --Benny Hill (1924-1992)
          Mastermind spoof with Jackie Wright (c.1905-1989)
          (the joke may be older; Benny Hill stole [used] everything sooner or later)

---

AD HOC, AD LOC
and QUID PRO QUO
So little time,
So much to know.
     --Jerome Hillary, PhD
          fictional character, Yellow Submarine, 1968 film

---

What is hateful to you, you do not do to your neighbor.
That is the whole Torah. The rest is commentary.
     --Hillel (Ist Century BCE, died 10 CE)
            variants: What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.
                --Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE). Analects, translated
                    by James Legge, 1893
            Do to others what you would have them do to you.
                --Matthew 7:12 (New International Version); known as
                    the "Golden Rule"
            parody: Do unto the other feller the way he'd like to do unto you,
                an' do it fust. --E.N. Westcott [Edward Noyes Westcott](1847-1898).
                    David Harum: A Story of American Life. Toronto: Ryerson Press, 1895

---

May all have well-being and none be in misery of any sort.
May peace and peace and peace be everywhere.
     --Hindu wisdom
          Br'hadaaran'yaka Upanishad, composed prior to 500 BCE

---

Men ought to know that from nothing else but thence (from the brain)
come joys, delights, laughter and sports, and sorrows, griefs, despondency,
and lamentations. . . . And by the same organ we become mad and delirious,
and fears and terrors assail us, some by night, and some by day, and dreams
and untimely wanderings, and cares that are not suitable, and ignorance of
present circumstances, desuetude, and unskillfulness.
     --Ιπποκρατης [Hippocrates](c.460-c.377 BCE)
          "The Sacred Disease", in Francis Adams, Editor and Translator.
          The Genuine Works of Hippocrates, Volume II. New York: William
          Wood and Company, 1886, p.344

---

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the
plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works
of Francis Bacon.
     --Bill Hirst (born mid-XXth century)

---

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
     --Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)

---

I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.
     --Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)

---

The paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace the
hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop.
     --Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)

---

There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and
not very incriminating.
     --Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)

---

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired
when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.
Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound
achieved by the pig.
     --Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)

---

The great masses of the people . . . will more easily fall victims
to a big lie than to a small one.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no
religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a
religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character
training and religion must be derived from faith . . . we need
believing people.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

Strength lies not in defense but in attack.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized
nation has full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police
more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)
        1935

---

The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

Who says I am not under the special protection of God?
     --Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

---

A thousand reasons for worry,
A thousand reasons for anxiety
Oppress day after day the fool
But not the wise man.
     --Hitopadesa of Narayana (XIIth Century CE)
        a collection of Sanskrit fables

---

The clothes have no emperor.
     --C.A.R. Hoare [Charles Antony Richard Hoare/Tony Hoare](born 1931)
        commenting on ADA (programming language that first appeared in 1980)
          "The Emperor's Old Clothes", 1980 Turing Award Lecture,
          Communications of the ACM [Association for Computing Machinery].
          Volume 24 Number 2, February 1981

---

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the
land. They said "Let us pray." We closed our eyes. When we
opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.
     --Rolf Hochhuth (born 1931)
          The Deputy, a Christian Tragedy. New York: Grove Press, 1964, p.144
          often attributed to Bishop Desmond Tutu (born 1931) or Jomo Kenyatta (1891-1978)

---

There's no need to believe what an artist says. Believe what he does;
that's what counts.
     --David Hockney (born 1937)
          "Chronicle", by Nadine Brozan, The New York Times, 8 November 1995

---

It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth
than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand
up for it.
     --A.A. Hodge [Archibald Alexander Hodge](1823-1886)

---

When you're away, I'm restless, lonely,
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
Here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
     --Samuel Hoffenstein (1890-1947)

---

Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is
wrong with us.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

---

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

---

Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to
deceive themselves.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

---

When freedom destroys order, order will destroy freedom.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

---

When people are free to do as they please, they usually
imitate each other. . . . A society which gives unlimited freedom
to the individual, more often than not attains a disconcerting
sameness. On the other hand, where communal discipline is strict
but not ruthless . . . originality is likely to thrive.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)
          The Passionate State of Mind, and Other Aphorisms.
          New York: Harper and Row, 1955

---

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses
to frighten you.
     --Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

---

The first duty of a revolutionist is to get away with it.
The second duty is to eat breakfast. I ain't going.
     --Abbie Hoffman [Abbot Howard Hoffman](1936-1989)
          "Creating the Perfect Mess" (1 September 1968), in Revolution
          for the Hell of It. New York: Dial Press, 1968; the words were
          directed at a police officer who had come to arrest Hoffman at the Lincoln
          Hotel restaurant, where he was waiting for breakfast

---

The characteristic property of hallucinogens, to suspend the boundaries
between the experiencing self and the outer world in an ecstatic,
emotional experience, makes it posible with their help, and after suitable
internal and external preparation . . .to evoke a mystical experience
according to plan, so to speak. . . . I see the true importance of LSD in
the possibility of providing material aid to meditation aimed at the
mystical experience of a deeper, comprehensive reality. Such a use accords
entirely with the essence and working character of LSD as a sacred drug.
     --Dr Albert Hoffman (1906-2008)
          LSD : My Problem Child. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1980, Chapter 11:
          LSD Experience and Reality

---

Deliberate provocation of mystical experience, particularly by LSD and
related hallucinogens, in contrast to spontaneous visionary experiences,
entails dangers that must not be underestimated. Practitioners must take
into account the peculiar effects of these substances, namely their
ability to influence our consciousness, the innermost essence of our
being. The history of LSD to date amply demonstrates the catastrophic
consequences that can ensue when its profound effect is misjudged and
the substance is mistaken for a pleasure drug. Special internal and
external advance preparations are required; with them, an LSD experiment
can become a meaningful experience.
     --Dr Albert Hoffman (1906-2008)
          LSD : My Problem Child. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1980, Foreword

---

I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing
capability more wisely, under suitable conditions, in medical practice
and in conjution with meditation, then in the future this problem child
could become a wonder child.
     --Dr Albert Hoffman (1906-2008)
          LSD : My Problem Child. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1980

---

I share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis
pervading all spheres of Western industrial society can be remedied only
by a change in our world view. We shall have to shift from the
materialistic, dualistic belief that people and their environment are
separate, toward a new conciousness of an all-encompassing reality, which
embraces the experiencing ego, a reality in which people feel their
oneness with animate nature and all of creation.
     --Dr Albert Hoffman (1906-2008)
          LSD : My Problem Child. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1980, Foreword

---

A good review from the critics is just another stay of execution.
     --Dustin Hoffman (born 1937)

---

Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and VERY important.
     --Lisa Hoffmann

---

If a parent wishes to give his children three gifts
for the years to come, I should put next to a passion for truth
and a sense of humor, the love of beauty in any form.
     --Ralph Hoffmann (1870-1932)
          Birds of the Pacific States (1927)

---

If writers were bakers, this sentence would be exactly a dozen words long.
     --Douglas R. Hofstadter [Douglas Richard Hofstadter](born 1945)

---

The whole point of this sentence is to make clear what the whole point of
this sentence is.
     --Douglas R. Hofstadter [Douglas Richard Hofstadter](born 1945)

---

It is a virtue to be adolescent; the word has a special feeling about
it. It does not imply impetuous energy, rather being susceptible to
learning, tenderness, enthusiasm and having the capacity for adoring
love. . . . The adolescent is the direct counterpart of the old man,
living in the memories of his youth and considering it his most
important duty to instruct the adolescent out of his mature experience.
     --Prof. Dr H.H. Hofstätter [Hans Helmut Hofstätter](geboren 1928)
          Symbolismys und die Kunst der Jahrhuhdertwende.
          Schauberg/Köln: DuMont, 1973, p.171

---

Hell is paved with good samaritans.
     --William M. Holden

---

Don't threaten me with love, baby.
     --Billie Holiday (1915-1959)

---

Dignity is like a top hat. Neither is very much use when you are
standing on it.
     --Chistopher Hollis [Maurice Christopher Hollis](1902-1977)

---

You and I are not the same,
and we are both glad of it.
     --Ernest Holmes (1887-1960)
          Church of Religious Science

---

It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling
exception, is composed of others.
     --John Andrew Holmes (born 1874)
          Wisdom in Small Doses. Chicago and Lincoln: University Publishing Co., 1927

---

Certitude is not the test of certainty.
     --Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr (1809-1894)

---

Humility is the first of the virtues for other people.
     --Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr (1809-1894)

---

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
     --Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr (1809-1894)

---

No, "Eureka" is Greek for "This bath is too hot."
     --Robert Holmes (1928-1986)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "The Talons of Weng-Chiang", Season 14, 1977
          spoken by Doctor Who (Tom Baker)

---

Education, with its supporting system of compulsory and competitive
schooling, all its carrots and sticks, its grades, diplomas, and
credentials, now seems to me perhaps the most authoritarian and dangerous
of all social inventions of mankind. It is the deepest foundation of the
modern and worldwide slave state, in which most people feel themselves to
be nothing but producers, consumers, spectators, and "fans,"
driven more and more, in all parts of their lives, by greed, envy, and
fear. My concern is not to improve "education" but to do away
with it, to end the ugly and antihuman business of people-shaping and let
people shape themselves.
     --John Holt [John Caldwell Holt](1923-1985)
          Instead of Education: Ways to Help People Do Things Better. New York:
          Dutton, 1976

---

This I have learned from Socialism, that there can be no public or
private duty, nor public or private virtue, unless falsehood is avoided,
unless the foundation of all action is the love and practice of truth.
     --George Holyoake [George Jacob Holyoake](1817-1906)
          Testimony, quoted in The Trial of George Jacob Holyoake, for
          Blasphemy. 15 August 1842. London: printed and published for
          "The Anti-Persecution Union" by Thomas Paterson, 1842, p.15

---

Ignorance is the mother of fear.
     --Harry Homes

---

There's a very fine line between being artistic and being a dickhead.
     --Peter Hook (born 1956)

---

It still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
     --Sidney Hook (1902-1989)
          "Religion and the Intellectuals", Partisan Review,
          March 1950

---

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
commerce.
     --J. Edgar Hoover [John Edgar Hoover](1895-1972)
          quoted in Irving Wallace, et al., The Intimate Sex Lives of
          Famous People. New York: Delacorte Press, 1981, p.527

---

Justice is incidental to law and order.
     --J. Edgar Hoover [John Edgar Hoover](1895-1972)

---

Justice merely is incidental to law and order.
     --J. Edgar Hoover [John Edgar Hoover](1895-1972)
          "Hoover says justice is incidental to order", The Morning
          Record, Meriden, Connecticut (by Associated Press), Friday 15 November
          1968, reporting an interview with Hoover after a meeting with
          president-elect Richard M. Nixon

---

Life is for living, not prolonging.
     --Nicky Hopkins (1944-1994)
          piano player, in answer to John Carpenter, Freep, 19 December 1969

---

Eternal Peace


Do not weep for me in my state,
For I am only where I have desired.
But mourn for all who have not
Found a place -- for they know not
What is in the wanting. . . .
     --Pam Hopkins
          (1971)

---

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
     --Art Hoppe (1925-2000)

---

Be prepared to go mad with fixed rule and method.
     --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus](65-8 BCE)

---

It is your business when the wall next door catches fire.
     --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus](65-8 BCE)
          Epistles

---

NATURAM EXPELLAS FURCA TAMEN USQUE RECURRET
[You may drive out Nature with a pitchfork, but she will always return.]
     --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus](65-8 BCE)
          Book I, Epistle X, line 24

---

When evil times prevail, take care to preserve
the serenity of your heart.
     --Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus](65-8 BCE)

---

You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows.
     --William Peter Horn (1774-1860)

---

Politics is about making compromises. Religion isn't.
     --Michael Horton [Michael Scott Horton](born 1964)

---

Malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.
     --A.E. Housman [Alfred Edward Housman](1859-1936)

---

Every family has a prize kin.
     --E.W. Howe [Edgar Watson Howe](1853-1937)

---

Reading is like permitting a man to talk a long time,
and refusing you the right to answer.
     --Edgar Watson Howe (1853-1937)

---

If one of them fellas comes here and tells me I have to move because of
the fire, I know what I'll say . . . I'll say, 'I was born and raised in
this house, Sonny, and you're so full of crap, your hat don't fit.'
     --Maude Howey (born c.1897)
          commenting on the stubbornness of residents of Centralia, Pennsylvania,
          who refuse to leave despite a 30-year fire in a nearby coal mine
          quoted by Josh Getlin, "The fire down below",
          Los Angeles Times, 11 May 1992

---

If one of them fellas comes here and tells me I have to move because of
the fire, I know what I'll say. I'll say, 'I was born and raised in this
house, Sonny, and you're so full of crap, your hat don't fit.'
     --Maude Howey (born early-XXth century)
          quoted by Josh Getlin, "The fire down below", Los Angeles Times,
          11 May 1992, p.E-1 (story about fire in Centralia, Pennsylvania coal
          mine that had been burning for 30 years

---

Charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          The Roycroft Dictionary, Concocted by Ali Baba and the Bunch on Rainy
          Days. New York: Roycrofters, 1914, p.23

---

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          A Thousand and One Epigrams. New York: Roycrofters, 1911, p.96

---

Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
    variant: Death causes you to stop sinning suddenly.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          The Roycroft Dictionary, Concocted by Ali Baba and the Bunch on Rainy
          Days. New York: Roycrofters, 1914, p.35

---

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
     --Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

---

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          Philistine: A Periodical of Protest, September 1906, Volume 23 Number 4, p.97

---

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met
on the street.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          A Thousand and One Epigrams. New York: Roycrofters, 1911, p.31

---

There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier
save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
     --Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
        quoted in Evelyn Briggs Baldwin. The Search for the North Pole, or,
        Life in the Great White World [&c.]. Chicago: Evelyn B. Baldwin, 1896,
        p.520, where she sources the quote as Electrical Review, c.1895;
        quotation later published in Elbert Hubbard, "The Age of Electricity",
        The FRA [FRA Magazine: A Journal of Affirmation], May 1915,
        p.36; often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

To escape criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          The Motto Book: A Collection of Epigrams by Fra Elbertus.
          New York: Roycrofters, 1914, Number 156, p.49

---

When you can not answer your opponent's logic, do not be discouraged --
you can still call him vile names.
     --Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
          Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard.New York: Roycrofters, 1922, p.243

---

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
     --Kin Hubbard [Frank McKinney Hubbard](1868-1930)

---

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
     --Kin Hubbard [Frank McKinney Hubbard](1868-1930)
          quoted in Clifton Fadiman. The American Treasury, 1455-1955.
          New York: Harper, 1955, p.992

---

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
     --Kin Hubbard [Frank McKinney Hubbard](1868-1930)
          quoted in The Annals of America [Volume 13], 1905-1915: The Progressive
          Era. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., 1968, p.52

---

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing,
it's the money.
     --Kin Hubbard [Frank McKinney Hubbard](1868-1930)

---

I was dating the hottest-looking girl in school. Thought I had it
made. . . . One day we just realized that she had heard all of my stories,
and I had heard all of her stories, and, well, that's when she stopped
being nice and started eating.
     --Mark Hudis (born 1968)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Holy Craps", 17 April 2001
          spoken by Glen (John Ratzenberger)

---

If we relied conclusively on scientific data for every one of our findings,
I'm afraid all of our work would be inconclusive.
     --Henry E. Hudson (born 1947)
        member of the Meese Pornography Commission (1986),
        speaking about criticism of the Commission's conclusion that pornography
        causes sex crimes

---

Someday, I'm going to say no, I won't hold, and send somebody's secretary
into strong hysterics.
     --Tanya Huff (born 1957)
          Blood Price. New York: DAW Books, 1991
          spoken by Victoria Nelson

---

You know it's been a strange day when you're looking forward to the arrival
of the bloodsucking undead.
     --Tanya Huff (born 1957)
          Blood Trail. New York: DAW Books, 1992
          spoken by Victoria Nelson

---

The pursuit of the Inner Child has taken over just when Americans
ought to be figuring out where their Inner Adult is.
     --Robert Hughes
          Culture of Complaint, 1993

---

Knowing can be a limiting thing.
     --Richard Hugo [Richard Hogan](1923-1982)
          "Writing Off the Subject", from The Triggering Town.
          New York: Norton, 1979

---

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
     --Victor Hugo (1802-1885)

---

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved;
loved for ourselves -- say rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
     --Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
          Les Misérables (1862), translation by Charles H. Wilbour (1863)

---

The terror we thus feel is a terror for the machinery of law . . .
as when the fugitive comes forth at last at evening, by the quiet
riverside, and finds the police there also, waiting stolidly for
vice and stolidly satistifed to take virtue instead.
variant: The minions of the law go stolidly after vice,
    and not finding it,they stolidly take virtue instead.
     --Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
          The Works of Victor Hugo, Volume Three: Les Misérables,
          Fantine. The Jenson Society (printed for Members only), MCMVII, p.iv
          variant quoted in Elbert Hubbard. Little Journeys to the Homes
          of Eminent Artists, ("Thorwaldsen") Volume X Number 4,
          April 1902, p.86

---

When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.
     --Victor Hugo (1802-1885)

---

Though apparently the original purpose of bagpipes was to scare the
crap out of the enemy in battle. ("Aiiie! We're being attacked
by Catholic schoolgirls, and you should SEE what they're doing to those
poor cats!")
     --Errol Hursh
        posted over the usenet name ehursh - @EHursh is twitter name of Errol Hursh

---

I am not tragically colored, there is no great sorrow dammed up
in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes . . . I do not belong
to the sobbing of Negrohood who hold that nature somehow
has given them a lowdown dirty deal, and whose feelings are
all hurt about it.
     --Zora Neale Hurston (1891-1960)
        "How it feels to be Colored Me", 1928

---

It is one of the blessings of the world that few people see visions
and dream dreams.
     --Zora Neale Hurston (1891-1960)

---

It has been said that we have not had the three R's in America,
we had the six R's: remedial readin', remedial 'ritin' and
remedial 'rithmetic.
     --Robert M. Hutchins [Robert Maynard Hutchins](1899-1977)

---

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
     --Robert M. Hutchins [Robert Maynard Hutchins](1899-1977)

---

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that,
from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely
different.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
          The Devils of Loudun. London: Chatto & Windus, 1952

---

Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

---

Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify
himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his
life full, significant and interesting.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

---

Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what
happens to you.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

---

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

---

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

---

The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain
other sets of people are human.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
          The Olive Tree and Other Essays. London: Chatto & Windus, 1936

---

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.
     --Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
          The Devils of Loudun. London: Chatto & Windus, 1952

---

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,
periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts
them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing
grub, at intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another. . . .
Truly the imago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every
moult is a step gained.
     --Thomas Huxley [Thomas Henry Huxley PC FRS FLS](1825-1895)
          Evidence as to Man's Place in Nature. New York: D. Appleton, 1863
          (Huxley was known as "Darwin's Bulldog" for his advocacy of
          Darwin's theory of evolution.)

---

For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?
     --I Corinthians X:29, New International Version

---

It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
     --Dolores Ibarruri [Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez/La Pasionaria](1895-1989)

---

A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.
     --Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)

---

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It brings you
food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not
friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace
or happiness.
     --Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)

---

Rob the average man of his life-illusion and you rob him of his happiness
at one stroke.
     --Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)
          Vildanden [The Wild Duck], 1884 play

---

The compulsion to do good is an innate American trait. Only North Americans
seem to believe that they always should, may, and actually can choose
somebody with whom to share their blessings. Ultimately this attitude
leads to bombing people into the acceptance of gifts.
     --Ivan Illich (1926-2002)

---

The smile that you send out returns to you.
    variant: A smile you sent will always return.
     --Indian proverb

---

A small minded man weighs what can hinder him and fearful,
    dares not set work.
Difficulties cause the average man to leave off what he has begun.
A truly great man does not slacken in carrying out what he has begun,
    although obstacles tower thousandfold until he has succeeded.
     --Indian Wisdom

---

It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism,
while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
     --William Ralph Inge [Dean Inge](1860-1954)
        also attributed as a Turkish proverb

---

The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I
have seen its shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in
the Church.
more complete quote: It is a blessed thing that in every age some one
    has had individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own
    convictions, -- some one who had the grandeur to say his say. I believe
    it was Magellan who said, 'The church says the earth is flat; but I have
    seen its shadow on the moon, and I have more confidence even in a shadow
    than in the church.' On the prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance,
    scorn, and success.
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)
          "Individuality", 1873, fourth paragraph; many Web sites currently
          attribute the quote to Ferdinand Magellan (1480-1521) who may indeed have
          said it first (but not in English)

---

Give me the storm of tempest and action, rather than the dead calm of
ignorance and faith. Banish me from Eden when you will; but first let
me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)

---

God so loved the world that he made up his mind to damn a large majority of
the human race.
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)

---

Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin.
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)

---

Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows.
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)

---

Our ignorance is God; what we know is science.
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)

---

The truth is, most Christians are better than their creeds; most creeds
are better than the Bible, and most men are better than their God.
    variant: Men are better than their theology. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
        (1803-1882), "Compensation", in Essays [later
        published as Essays: First Series]. Boston: James Munroe/London:
        James Fraser [some sources have New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co.], 1841,
        Essay No.3
     --Robert G. Ingersoll [Col. Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899), "The
        Plan of Salvation", Chapter XII of My Reviewers Reviewed, a
        lecture delivered in San Francisco on 27 June 1877, published in
        The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Volume XII. New York: The Dresden
        Publishing Co., C.P. Farrell, 1902, p.98

---

I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time.
I don't want no bad news messin' with my mind.
Well, who is, and who isn't, these days it's hard to tell
When so many people have so many good reasons
To feel more than just a little annoyed.
What can you do when you're sure somebody
Is screwin' around with your reality?
I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time.
     --Neil Innes (born 1944)
          Remember the Secret Policeman's Ball?, 2004 Amnesty International
          documentary

---

Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music, and now it's your turn.
     --Neil Innes (born 1944)
          "Protest Song", Pleasure at Her Majesty's,
          Amnesty International stage show, 1976
          as Raymond Scum, before singing his parody of a 1960s-style protest song

---

From one era to the next, the idea of virtue has never been anything but
an invention of vice.
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009, p.78

---

It is now publicly understood that crisis situations are so many
opportunities for the restructuring of domination. [p.13] . . .


Since 1945 -- it's taken for granted that manipulating the masses,
secret service operations, the restriction of public liberties, and the
complete sovereignty of a wide array of police forces were appropriate
ways to ensure democracy, freedom and civilization. [p.86] . . .


Governing has never been anything other than postponing by a thousand
subterfuges the moment when the crowd will string you up, and every act
of government is nothing but a way of not losing control of the population.
[p.96] . . .


"Terrorist threats," "natural disasters," "virus warnings,"
"social movements" and "urban violence" are, for society's
managers, so many moments of instability where they reinforce their power,
by the selection of those who please them and the elimination of those
who make things difficult. [p.119]
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009,
          pp.13,86,96,119

---

Patriarchy survives by attributing to women all the worst attributes of
men: willfulness, self-control, insensitivity.
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009, pp.91-92

---

Today the West is the GI who dashes into Fallujah on an M1 Abrams tank,
listening to heavy metal at top volume. It's the tourist lost on the
Mongolian plains, mocked by all, who clutches his credit card as his
only lifeline. It's the CEO who swears by the game Go. It's the young
girl who looks for happiness in clothes, guys and moisturizing creams.
It's the Swiss human rights activist who travels to the four corners of
the earth to show solidarity with all the world's rebels -- provided
they've been defeated. . . .
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009, pp.91-92

---

Two economists meet. One asks the other: "You understand what's happening?"
The other responds, "Wait, I"ll explain it to you." "No, no,"
says the first, "explaining is no problem. I'm an economist, too. What
I'm asking is: Do you understand it?"
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009, p.64

---

The world would not be moving so fast if it didn't have to constantly
outrun its own collapse.
     --The Invisible Committee
          L'insurrection qui vient [The Coming Insurrection].
          Paris: Editions La Fabrique/Los Angeles: Semiotext(e), 2007/2009, p.60

---

Mediocrity is even more dangerous in a critic than in a writer.
     --Eugene Ionesco (1909-1994)

---

To think contrary to one's era is heroism.
But to speak against it is madness.
     --Eugene Ionesco (1909-1994)

---

Remember -- no human condition is ever permanent.
    Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune,
    nor too sorrowful in misfortune.
     --Ισοκρατης [Isocrates](436-338 BCE)

---

Just because I'm a nobody doesn't mean I'm not somebody.
     --David M. Israel (born mid-XXth century)
        and Jim O'Doherty (born mid-XXth century)
          3rd Rock from the Sun, TV series, "Fifteen Minutes of Dick",
          11 May 1997, spoken by Dr Dick Solomon (John Lithgow), reading a newspaper
          story quoting Sally Solomon (Kristen Johnston)

---

I never thought much of Pat Buchanan until I heard one of his speeches
in the original German.
     --Molly Ivins [Mary Tyler Ivins](1944-2007)

---

Real wealth can only increase.
     --J. Baldwin. BuckyWorks: Buckminster Fuller's Ideas for Today.
        New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1996, p.227; the words are used to summarize a
        point in the philosophy of R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster
        Fuller](1895-1983); the quote is widely attributed to Buckminster Fuller
        himself, unsourced

---

It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
     --Andrew Jackson (1767-1845)
        Seventh president of the United States of America

---

[Children] know everything that people are trying to find out -- they know
so many secrets -- but it's hard for them to get it out. . . . They say
some things that'll just astound you. They go through brilliant, genius
stages. But when they become a certain age . . . they lose it. . . .
Grown-ups are really nothing but children who have lost all that real
magic.
     --Michael Jackson [Michael Joseph Jackson](1958-2009)
          Steve Demorest, "Michael in Wonderland", Melody Maker, 1 March 1980, p.29

---

Your children need your presence more than your presents.
     --Rev Jesse Jackson (born 1941)

---

I went to school so long ago, Ethics was a required course.
     --H. Myles Jacob (1913-1997)

---

I think we're gonna need another Timmy!
     --Michael Jacobs (born mid-XXth century)
        and Bob Young (born mid-XXth century)
          Dinosaurs, TV series, 1991-1994
          spoken by Mr Lizard, as his child assistant inevitably dies
          (as he does in each episode of "Ask Mr Lizard", a TV
          show the Dinosaur family watches)

---

It's not the dress that makes you look fat.
It's the fat that makes you look fat!
     --Larry Jacobson (born mid-XXth century)
          Married . . . With Children, TV series, "No Ma'am", 1993
          spoken by Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill)

---

A good relationship is like fireworks:
loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.
     --Jeph Jacques (born 1980)

---

Too much is never enough.
     --Mick Jagger (born 1943)
          MTV commercial airing 12 March 1985 KTTV (11) L.A.

---

. . . and pupil and master exchanged a longish glance
in which there was a consciousness of many more things
than are usually touched upon, even tacitly, in such
a relation.
     --Henry James (1843-1916)
          The Pupil, first published in Longman's Magazine, March/April 1891

---

I have no right to tamper with your flute and then criticize your music.
     --Henry James (1843-1916)
          "The Art of Fiction", in William Veeder & Susan M. Griffin
          (Editors). The Art of Criticism. Chicago: University of
          Chicago Press, 1986, p.176

---

To take what there is and use it, without waiting forever in vain
for the preconceived; to dig deep into the actual and get something
out of that . . . doubtless, that is the right way to live.
     --Henry James (1843-1916)

---

There comes a time when every scientist, even God, has to write off an
experiment.
     --P.D. James [Phyllis Dorothy James, Baroness James of Holland Park, OBE, FRSA, FRSL](born 1920)
          Devices and Desires. New York: A & E Home Video, 1989

---

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
     --William James (1842-1910)

---

First, you know, a new theory is attacked as absurd; then it is admitted
to be true, but obvious and insignificant; finally it is seen to be so
important that its adversaries claim that they themselves discovered it.
     --William James (1842-1910)
          "Pragmatism's Conception of Truth", Lecture VI, in Pragmatism:
          A New Name for Some Old Ways of Thinking. London/New York: Longmans,
          Green and Co., 1907

---

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really
rearranging their prejudices.
     --William James (1842-1910)

---

Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.
     --William James (1842-1910)

---

There is no worse enemy of God and Man than zeal armed with power and
guided by a feeble intellect. . . . The great lesson of history is
to keep power of life or death away from that kind of mind, the mind
that sees things in the light of evil and dread and mistrust rather
than in that of hope.
     --William James (1842-1910)
          Manuscript Lectures, "Lectures on Abnormal Psychology (1895, 1896)"
          Lecture VI. Cambridge MA: Harvard University Press, 1988, p.76

---

There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.
     --William James (1842-1910)
          "The Varieties of Religious Experience" (1902), reprinted in
          , Volume 1. Radford VA: Wilder Publications, 2008, p.456

---

Heterosexuality isn't normal, just common.
     --Derek Jarman (1942-1994)

---

Queens Will Not be Pawns.
     --Derek Jarman (1942-1994)

---

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
     --Alfred Jarry (1873-1907)

---

Do not fear your enemies. The worst they can do is kill you. Do not fear
friends. At worst, they may betray you. Fear those who do not care; they
neither kill nor betray, but betrayal and murder exists because of their
silent consent.
     --Bruno Jasieńnski [Bruno Yasensky](1901-1938)

---

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be
something to someone.
     --Javan [Dr Ali Javan](born 1946)

---

Civilization is the art of living in towns of such size that everyone
does not know everyone else.
     --Julian Jaynes (1920-1997)
          The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.
          Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1976, p.149

---

. . . when all government . . . in little as in great things, shall
be drawn to Washington as the centre of all power, it will render
powerless the checks provided of one government on another and will
become as venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
        Letter to Gideon Granger, 1821

---

The Christian God is cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
        (According to monticello.org/, this has not been found in any of
        Jefferson's writings, though they do quote some similar passages which,
        they say, may have been the origin of this [spurious] quote)

---

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme
Being as his Father in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the
fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may
hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United
States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us
the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated reformer of
human errors.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to John Adams, 11 April 1823

---

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects
perform the office of a censor morum over each other. Is uniformity
attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the
effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and other half
hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the earth. . . .
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or
no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          "Notes on [the State of] Virginia". 1781/1787, Query XVII
          [NOTE: the Latin CENSOR MORUM can be translated "critic of morals"]

---

I cannot live without books.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to John Adams, 10 June 1815

---

I consider the doctrines of Jesus as delivered by himself to contain
the outlines of the sublimest system of morality that has ever been
taught but I hold in the most profound detestation and execration the
corruptions of it . . . constituting a conspiracy of church and
state against the civil and religious liberties of mankind.
    (Letter to Henry Fry, 17 June 1804)


My views . . . are the result of a life of inquiry and reflection.
. . . To the corruptions of Christianity I am, indeed, opposed; but
not to the genuine precepts of Jesus himself. I am a Christian in the
only sense in which He wished any one to be; sincerely attached to his
doctrines, in preference to all others; ascribing to himself every
human excellence; & believing he never claimed any other.
    (Letter to Dr Benjamin Rush, 21 April 1803)


Among the sayings and discourses imputed to [Jesus] by his biographers,
I find many passages of fine imagination, correct morality, and of the
most lovely benevolence; and others, again, of so much ignorance, so
much absurdity, so much untruth, charlatanism and imposture. . . .
Of this band of dupes and impostors, [St] Paul was the . . . first
corruptor of the doctrines of Jesus.
    (Letter to W. Short, 1820)
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Jefferson here is giving perspective to his somewhat negative reputation
          among some Christian believers of his time and ours, as reflected in
          the often-quoted statement (virtually always without noting an original
          source), that "The Christian God is cruel, vindictive, capricious and unjust."

---

I do not find in [orthodox] Christianity one redeeming feature.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
        (According to www.monticello.org/, the quote does not appear in any of Jefferson's known writings.)

---

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

---

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return
for protection to his own. It is easier to acquire wealth and power by this
combination than by deserving them, and to effect this, they have perverted
the purest religion ever preached to man into mystery and jargon,
unintelligible to all mankind, and therefore the safer for their purposes.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to Horatio Spafford, 17 March 1814, quoted in George Seldes. The
          Great Quotations. Secaucus NJ: Citadel Press, 1983, p.371

---

Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us
restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which
liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect
that, having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which
mankind so long bled, we have yet gained little if we counternance a
political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of as bitter and
bloody persecutions.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          First Inaugural Address, 4 March 1801

---

A little rebellion now and then is a medicine
necessary for the sound health of government.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to James Madison, 30 January 1787

---

Money, and not morality, is the principle of commerce and commercial nations.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to Governor Langdon, 5 March 1810; in Thomas Jefferson Randolph,
          Editor. Memoirs, Correspondence and Private Papers of Thomas Jefferson,
          Volume III. London: Henry Colburn and Richard Bentley, 1829, p.149

---

Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone.
Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it
has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has
regulated it cannot be a bad one.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America

---

They [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach
of daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions
of the duperies on which they live.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to Correa de Serra, 11 April 1820

---

This is the Fourth [of July]?
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          last words, 4 July 1826, quoted by Henry S. Randall. The Life of Thomas
          Jefferson. New York: Derby & Jackson, 1858

---

The tree of liberty must be watered periodically with the blood of tyrants
and patriots alike. It is its natural manure.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to William Stephens Smith, 13 November 1787

---

Under the law of nature, all men are born free, every one
comes into the world with a right to his own person, which
includes the liberty of moving and using it at his own will.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Legal argument in Samuel Howell v Wade Netherland, (1770)

---

We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights,
that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness . . .
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        [later] Third president of the United States of America
          "Declaration of Independence" (United States of America)
          with editing by Congress, 1776
          this quote has been seen on the Web attributed to "a Dead White Male"

---

Where a new invention is supported by well-known principles, and promises
to be useful, it ought to be tried.
     --Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
        Third president of the United States of America
          Letter to Robert Fulton, 17 March 1810; quoted and sourced in John P.
          Foley, Editor. The Jeffersonian Cyclopedia: A Comprehensive Collection
          of the Views of Thomas Jefferson. New York and London: Funk & Wagnalls,
          1900, p.433

---

To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil,
you're overdoing it!
     --Josh Jenkins
          quoted, unsourced, in Jacob Morton Braude. The Complete Art of Public
          Speaking. New York: Bantam Books, 1970, p.103

---

It is always the best policy to speak the truth -- unless,
of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
     --Jerome K. Jerome [Jerome Klapka Jerome](1859-1927)
          The Idler Magazine, Volume 1, 1892, p.118

---

I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
     --John Jerrard
        and Kenny Beard
          from the song of the same name

---

Blessed be the hand that prepares a pleasure for a child,
for there is no saying when and where it may bloom forth.
     --Douglas William Jerrold (1803-1857)

---

Many know much about me, everyone knows something,
rumers [sic] fall short, but knowone [sic]
knows quite enough.
     --Jinx
          a young man in jail, 25 October 1972

---

To seek permission is to seek denial.
     --Steve Jobs [Steven Paul Jobs](1955-2012)

---

When you're young, you look at television and think, there's a conspiracy.
The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little
older, you realize that's not true. The networks are in business to give
people exactly what they want.
     --Steve Jobs [Steven Paul Jobs](1955-2012)
          quoted by Gary Wolf in Wired, "Steve Jobs: The Next Insanely Great Thing"
          February 1996

---

You only beat me if you get me to hate.
     --Billy Joel (born 1949)

---

I went to a psychiatrist recently and he said, 'Were you ever molested
as a child?' And I said, 'No. . . . I was dying to be molested, dying
for someone to have a fiddle around.' And he said, 'Oooh, we've never
heard THAT one before.'
(alternate version, sourced: At school everyone boasted about sex.
Meanwhile, I was dying to be molested by someone. When I went into
therapy, my therapist said, 'I have to ask you: were you molested?'
And I said: 'No, actually.' But I was dying to be molested by
someone -- just to teach me, just to find out, you know.
--David Buckley.Elton: The Biography. London: André
Deutsch/Carlton, 2007, p.26)
     --Elton John [Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE](born 1947)

---

Boswell: That, Sir, was great fortitude of mind.
Johnson: No, Sir, stark insensibility.
     --Dr Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

---

That fellow seems to posses but one idea; and that is the wrong one.
     --Dr Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

---

First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.
     --John Johnson (born mid-XXth century)

---

I do not think this generation of Americans is willing to go to bed each
night by the light of a Communist moon.
     --Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)
        36th president of the United States of America
        May 1963, quoted in Robert Dallek. Flawed Giant: Lyndon Johnson and His
        Times, 1961-1973. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1998 p.418

---

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River,
the headline that afternoon would read: PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM.
     --Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)
        36th president of the United States of America

---

If two men agree on everything, you can be sure one of them is doing
the thinking.
     --Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)
        36th president of the United States of America

---

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey
if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do
and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.
     --Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)
        36th president of the United States of America

---

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
     --Philander Johnson [Philander Chase Johnson](1866-1939)

---

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.
     --Ralph Johnson (born 1955)

---

Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.
     --Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1709-1784)

---

Criticism is a study by which men grow important and
formidable at very small expense.
     --Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1709-1784)

---

The happiest part of a man's life is what he passes lying
awake in bed in the morning.
     --Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1709-1784)
          James Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1791)

---

No mind is much employed upon the present; recollection and anticipation
fill up almost all our moments.
     --Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1709-1784)

---

I speak in paragraphs when people prefer to listen in sentences.
     --Courtway Jones [John Alan Jones](born 1923)
          In the Shadow of the Oak King. New York: Pocket Books, 1991
          spoken by The Bishop of London

---

God has been replaced, as he has all over the West,
with respectability and air conditioning.
     --Everett LeRoi Jones [Imamu Ameer Baraka](born 1934)
        (changed his name to Imamu Amiri Baraka in 1967)
          Home, 1966

---

Walk through life, beautiful more than anything
singing in the sunlight, walk though life.
Love all things that make you strong.
Be lovers, be anything, for all the people of the earth.
For we are brothers and we have each other.
Charge up and look at the world now. It's ours.
Take it slow, we've got a long time and a long way to go,
but we have each other and the world.
Don't be sorry, walk on out through sunlight life
and know, we're on the go
                for love.
     --Everett LeRoi Jones [Imamu Ameer Baraka](born 1934)
        (changed his name to Imamu Amiri Baraka in 1967)
          Answers in Progress. Newark NJ: Jihad Press, 1967

---

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
     --Franklin P. Jones (1908-1980)

---

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get
you into hot water.
     --Franklin P. Jones (1908-1980)

---

We must find a way, somehow, to create a situation in our lives where we
define our own limitations - our own style - not let others determine
our parameters for us.
     --Gerald P. Jones (born 1946)
          23 December 1979, after seeing Quentin Crisp in his one-man show,
          "An Evening With Quentin Crisp", Solari Theatre, Beverly Hills, California

---

Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think,
and suspicious of men who try to.
     --Howard Mumford Jones (1892-1980)

---

Indeed, the only major difference between today's
generation and their elders' is that they no longer
feel the social necessity of paying hypocritical
lip service to an unrealistic code to which only
a few actually subscribe. Today's young people
are no less moral, only more honest.
     --Marvin L. Jones (1944-2008)
          29 April 1968

---

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
     --Thomas Jones (1892-1969)

---

If sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's the most revolutionary insight
of all.
     --Erica Jong (born 1942)
          "The Artist as Housewife", in Francine Kragbrun (Editor).
          The First Ms. Reader. Newe York: Warner, 1973

---

Confound these ancestors . . . They've stolen our best ideas!
     --Ben Jonson (1572-1637)

---

Some men are born only to suck out the poison of books.
     --Ben Jonson (1572-1637)

---

Play slowly until you catch the swing, and never play ragtime fast
at any time.
     --Scott Joplin (1868-1917)
          "School of Ragtime" (1908), Exercise No.1, in David A. Jasen,
          Editor. Scott Joplin - Complete Piano Rags. New York: Dover
          Publications, 1988

---

Wisdom is knowing what to do next. Virtue is doing it.
     --David Starr Jordan (1851-1931)

---

Children need models rather than critics.
    variants: Children need models more than they need critics.
    Children have more need of models than of critics.
     --Joseph Joubert (1754-1824)

---

It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a
question without debating it.
     --Joseph Joubert (1754-1824)

---

Le coeur a ses prisons que l'intelligence n'ouvre pas.
[The heart has its prisons that intelligence cannot unlock.]
     --Marcel Jouhandeau (1888-1979)
          De la grandeur. Paris: Bernard Grasset, 1952

---

You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say.
     --Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893)

---

Where others crouched and crawled and prayed,
I stand the self-doomed unafraid.
     --James Joyce [James Augustine Aloysius Joyce](1882-1941)

---

Why don't you write books people can read?
     --Nora Joyce (1882-1941)
        reportedly said to her husband James

---

Alimony is the system by which, when two people make a mistake,
one of them keeps paying for it.
     --Peggy Joyce [Peggy Hopkins Joyce](1893-1957)

---

Even a lie is a psychic fact.
     --Carl Jung [Karl Gustav II Jung](1875-1961)

---

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
     --Carl Jung [Karl Gustav II Jung](1875-1961)

---

We can never finally know. I simply believe that some part of the human
Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.
     --Carl Jung [Karl Gustav II Jung](1875-1961)

---

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
     --John Junor [Sir John Donald Brown Junor](1919-1997)

---

All wish to be learned, but no one is willing to pay the price.
     --Juvenal [Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis](c.60-c.140 CE)

---

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.
     --Juvenal [Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis](fl. late I - early II century CE)

---

If a mirror ever makes you sad,
you should know that
it does not know you.
     --Kabir (1440-1518)
          Daniel James Ladinsky (Translator). Love Poems from God: Twelve Sacred
          Voices from the East and West.
          New York: Penguin Compass, 2002, p.236

---

Evil is whatever distracts.
     --Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

---

Love has as few problems as a motorcar. The only problems are the
driver, the passengers, and the road.
     --Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

---

Only our concept of Time makes it possible for us to speak of the
Day of Judgment by that name; in reality it is a summary court
in perpetual session.
     --Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

---

The Messiah will come. There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all
the things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated.
     --Rabbi Meir Kahane [Martin David Kahane](1932-1990)
          quoted in Robert I. Friedman. "The Sayings of Rabbi Kahane",
          New York Review of Books, Volume 33 Number 2, 1986

---

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality
of life, please press three.
     --Alice Kahn (1943-2004)

---

Salutation to the Dawn


Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence.
    The bliss of growth.
    The glory of action.
    The splendor of achievement.
For yesterday is but a dream.
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day!
     --Kalidasa (IVth century CE)
        (translated from Sanskrit)
        this is probably the first quote I collected and saved, after
        hearing adventurer John Goddard (1924-2013) use it in a lecture
        at my High School c.1962

---

The spiritual peace and enlightenment offered by pop gurus doesn't require
a lifetime of discipline. It requires only that you suspend your critical
judgment, attend their lectures and workshops and buy their books or
tapes. . . . The rise of charismatic authority figures is always
disconcerting, especially when they malign rationalism and exhort us to
abandon critical thinking in order to realize spiritual growth. . . .
No one who seeks worship, however covertly, deserves respect. Argue
with them, please.
     --Wendy Kaminer (born 1949)
          "Why we love gurus". Newsweek, 20 October 1997

---

We are forces of chaos and anarchy
Everything they say we are, we are
And we are very proud of ourselves.
     --Paul Kantner (born 1941)
          Jefferson Airplane song, "We Can Be Together", 1970

---

I call it the law of the instrument, and it may be formulated as follows:
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters
needs pounding.
     --Abraham Kaplan (1918-1993)
          The Conduct of Inquiry: Methodology for Behavioral Science.
          San Francisco: Chandler Publishing Co.. 1964. p.28

---

On Usenet elitism: This is the snobbery of the people on the Mayflower
looking down their noses at the people who came over ON THE SECOND BOAT!
     --Mitch Kapor [Mitchell David Kapor](born 1950)

---

This tune [The Third Man Theme] takes a lot out of your fingers. I prefer
playing "Wien, Wien", the sort of thing one can play all night
while eating sausages at the same time.
     --Anton Karas (1906-1985)
          "Making the 3rd Man and Other Interesting Stuff", online PDF
          www.rialtopictures.com/images_01/Making_of_Third_Man.pdf
          Karas composed the music for The Third Man (1949)

---

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
     --Alphonse Karr [Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr](1808-1890)
        Les Guêpes, January 1849

---

Dysfunctional family: any family with more than one person in it.
     --Mary Karr (born 1955)
          "Dysfunctional nation", The New York Times Magazine,
          12 May 1996

---

Freud associates retarded sexual and emotional development not with gun
ownership, but with fear and loathing of weapons.
     --Don B. Kates Jr (born mid-XXth century)
          "Guns, Murders and the Constitution", Pacific Research
          Institute for Public Policy, Volume 99 Issue 10, February 1990
          often misquoted as, "A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual
          and emotional maturity." and mis-attributed to Sigmund Freud
          [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)

---

It is the duty of every citizen to be subversive.
     --Carl Kaufmann
          quoted by Mary Amanda Axford (as "personal conversation", June 1998)
          on her blog at maryreannon.blogspot.com/2008/06/book-review-diamond-age.html

---

Christianity is the religion that made love a sin.
But how could it face the world without some subterfuge?
It could not openly declare war on man's noblest passion.
So one talked as if one were opposed to one kind of love only,
and as if there were another kind.
     --Walter Kaufmann (1921-1980)
          "Dialogue Between Satan and a Christian", p.253, spoken by Satan
          Critique of Religion and Philosophy (1958)

---

Saying Windows95 is equal to the Macintosh is like finding a potato that
looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming.
     --Guy Kawasaki (born 1954)

---

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
     --Alan Kay (born 1940)

---

The tree of research must from time to time
be refreshed with the blood of bean counters.
     --Alan Kay [Alan Curtis Kay](born 1940)

---

Trouble? Life is trouble. Only death is no trouble.
To be alive, undo your belt and look for trouble.
     --Nikos Kazantzakis (1883-1957)
          Zorba the Greek [The Life and Adventures of Alexis Zorbas].
          London: J. Lehmann/New York: Simon & Schuster, 1946/1952 (English)
          spoken by Zorba

---

A thing of beauty is a joy forever
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
     --John Keats (1795-1821)
          Endymion Book I

---

Sometimes you just have to look reality in the eye and deny it.
     --Garrison Keillor (born 1942)

---

That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the men are smart, the
women are good looking, and all the children are above average.
     --Garrison Keillor (born 1942)

---

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
     --Helen Keller (1880-1968)

---

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger
is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
     --Helen Keller (1880-1968)
          The Open Door. Garden City NY: Doubleday, 1957

---

College isn't the place to go for any ideas. . . . Schools seem to love the
dead past and live in it.
     --Hellen Keller [Helen Adams Keller](1880-1968)
          Interview with Barbara Bindley, New York Tribune, 16 January 1916

---

Love is the one game you lose by refusing to play.
     --David E. Kelley (born 1956)
        screenwriter Ally McBeal, "Neutral Corners",
        airing 12 November 2001
        spoken by Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries, born 1934) as Claire Otoms

---

He who is forewarned is forearmed, and he who is fourarmed is
half an octopus, and who wants to be that?
     --Walt Kelly [Walter Crawford Kelly Jr](1913-1973)
        "Pogo", syndicated newspaper comic strip, 1948-1975

---

We have met the enemy, and he is us.
     --Walt Kelly (1913-1973)
          Pogo, 22 April 1971 (Earth Day)

---

Know all and you will pardon all.
     --Thomas à Kempis (c.1380-1471)
          De Imitatione Christi (The Imitation of Christ), 1418-1427

---

The First Amendment is often inconvenient. But that is beside the point.
Inconvenience does not absolve the government of its obligation to tolerate
speech.
     --Anthony Kennedy [Anthony McLeod Kennedy](born 1936)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America
        appointed in 1988 by President Ronald Reagan

---

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America

---

Happiness The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America

---

I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is
absolute -- where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he
be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his
parishoners for whom to vote -- where no church or church school is
granted any public funds or political preference -- and where no man is
denied public office merely because his religion differs from the
president who might appoint him or the people who might elect him.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
          address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association, Rice Hotel,
          Houston, Texas, 12 September 1960

---

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
        when asked about his favorite song

---

If sometimes our great artists have been the most critical of our society,
it is because their sensitivity and their concern for justice which must
motivate any true artist makes them aware that our nation falls short of
its highest potential. I see little of more importance to the future of
our country and our civilization than full recognition of the place of
the artist.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
          Remarks at Amherst College, October 26, 1963

---

A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America

---

So, let us not be blind to our differences. But let us also direct
attention to our common interests and to the means by which those
differences can be resolved. And if we cannot end now our differences,
at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. For, in the
final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this
small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our childrens'
future. And we are all mortal.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
          Commencement Address, American University, 10 June 1963

---

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution
inevitable.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
        12 March 1962

---

Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forebears. We subject all
facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of
opinion without the discomfort of thought.
variant (unsourced): The great enemy of the truth is very often not
    the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth,
    persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the
    comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America
          Commencement address at Yale University, 11 June 1962

---

Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
     --John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
        35th president of the United States of America

---

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man -- the
airplane, the automobile, the computer -- say little about his
intelligence, but speak volumes about his laziness.
     --Mark Kennedy (born 1957)

---

I'm tired of all this business about beauty being only skin deep.
That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?
     --Jean Kerr (1922-2003)

---

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at
all, you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
     --Jean Kerr (1922-2003)

---

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all
you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
     --Joan Kerr (born mid-XXth century)

---

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
     --Ken Kesey [Kenneth Elton Kesey](1935-2001)
          statement from 1969, quoted in The Last Whole Earth Catalog.
          Menlo Park CA: Portola Institute, 1971

---

Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent
by the incompetent.
     --John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)

---

In the long run we are all dead.
     --John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)
          The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money.
          London: Macmillan & Co., 1936

---

All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
     --Haythum R. Khalid (born mid-XXth century)

---

If you want to commit suicide, you can use my razor; it's electric,
but you can hang yourself with the cord.
     --Haythum R. Khalid (born mid-XXth century)

---

Awake! For morning, in the bowl of night
Has flung the stone that puts the stars to flight.
And, lo, the hunter of the east has caught
The sultan's turret in a noose of light.
     --Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
          The Rubáiyát, 1120, translated by Edward Fitzgerald,
          (First Edition, 1859), Quatrain I

---

The Bird of Time
    has but a little way
    to fly
And lo!
    the Bird
    is on the Wing.
     --Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
        The Rubáiyát, 1120, translated by Edward Fitzgerald,
        (First Edition, 1859), Quatrain VII

---

A book of verses underneath the Bough,
A jug of wine, a Loaf of Bread -- and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness.
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
     --Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
          The Rubáiyát, 1120, translated by Edward Fitzgerald,
          (Fifth Edition, 1889), Quatrain XII

---

Hear mine Advice, and confide in none. Endure thy Sufferings, hoping for no
Remedy. Be happy in thy Sorrows, and seek not to share them with another.
     --Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
        The Rubáiyát, 1120, Quatrain No.423, translated (from the
        French Edition [1867] of J[ean]. B[aptiste]. Nicolas [1814-1875]) by
        Frederick Baron Corvo (1860-1913), London and New York: John Lane,
        The Bodley Head, 1903

---

The moving finger writes, and having writ,
Moves on; nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
     --Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
        The Rubáiyát, 1120, translated by Edward Fitzgerald,
        (Fifth Edition, 1889), Quatrain LXXI

---

Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder.
     --Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)

---

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when
there are no rivers.
     --Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)

---

Aren't people absurd! They never use the freedoms they do have, but demand
those they don't have; they have freedom of thought, they demand freedom
of speech.
variant: People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the
    freedom of thought which they seldom use.
     --Søren Kierkegaard [Søren Aabye Kierkegaard](1813-1855)
          Enten-Eller, "Diapsalmata" [Either/Or, "Refrains"]

---

Who am I? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted?
more complete version: One sticks ones finger into the soil to tell
    by the smell in what land one is: I stick my finger in existence -- it
    smells of nothing. Where am I? Who am I? How came I here? What is this
    thing called the world? What does this world mean? Who is it that has
    lured me into the world? Why was I not consulted?
     --Søren Kierkegaard [Søren Aabye Kierkegaard](1813-1855)
          Gjentagelsen [Repetition: A venture in experimental
          psychology]. København: C.A. Reitzel's, 1843

---

The only people who take the Bible literally are atheists and
fundamentalists.
     --Andy Kindler (born 1956)

---

Children are satisfied with the stork story up to a certain age
because the little fartlings are the world's most crustaceous
reactionaries; they don't want to know, they don't want their
preconceived opinions toppled.
     --Florence King [Florence Virginia King](1936-2016)

---

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer
able to throw telephone poles at each other.
     --Florence King [Florence Virginia King](1936-2016)

---

I have been a misanthrope for as long as I can remember, but I didn't know
it because I never heard the word until I read Moliére's
Le Misanthrope in college. As a child I simply thought of myself
as "different". As an adolescent I preferred "aloof",
and as a young adult going through my Ayn Rand stage I called myself
"objective". When the Randian heat wore off I settled for
"loner". The beginning of self-knowledge came when I discovered
Shakespeare's Timon of Athens, who won my heart because he had
"Go Away" carved on his tombstone. . . . I agree with Sartre
that "Hell is other people", but I also agree with Jonathan
Swift, who said, "I hate and despise the animal called
Mankind, but I like the occasional Tom, Dick and Harry."
     --Florence King [Florence Virginia King](1936-2016)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, pp.433-434

---

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by
the oppressed.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)
          entered at en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Martin_Luther_King,_Jr. as "unsourced")

---

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him
from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
conscientious stupidity.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)
          Strength to Love. New York: Harper & Row, 1963

---

The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.
    variants: "An eye for an eye" only ends up making
        the whole world blind.
    An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.
    An eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth would lead to a world of the blind
        and toothless.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)
          Stride Toward Freedom: The Montgomery Story. New York: Harper & Row,
          1958, p.213
          also widely attributed to Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948);
          indeed, according to Fred R, Shapiro, in The Yale Book of Quotations
          (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006), the Gandhi family believes the
          Mahatma expressed the idea, though this cannot be verified in print; the
          idea is used by several of Gandhi's biographers in explaining his
          principles, perhaps leading to the belief that Gandhi said the words himself

---

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness
to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)
        Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?.
        Boston: Beacon Press, 1967, p.62

---

A time comes when silence is betrayal.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

True peace is not the absence of tension,
but the presence of justice and brotherhood.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

We live in a nation of guided missiles and misguided men.
     --Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)

---

Each life makes its own imitation of immortality.
     --Stephen King (born 1947)

---

It's been my experience that ninety-five percent of people who walk
the earth are simply inert, Johnny. One percent are saints, and one
percent are assholes. The other three percent are the people who do what
they say they can do.
     --Stephen King (born 1947)
          The Dead Zone. New York: Viking Press, 1979
          Mr Chatsworth talking with Johnny Smith (p.412 in New York: Gallery Books,
          2016 paperback edition)

---

J.D. Salinger . . . John Knowles . . . even James Kirkwood and that
guy Don Bredes . . . they've destroyed being an adolescent, Garraty.
If you're a sixteen-year-old boy, you can't discuss the pains of
adolescent love with any decency anymore. You just come off
sounding like fucking Ron Howard with a hardon.
     --Stephen King (born 1947)
          The Long Walk. New York: Signet, 1979
          published under the pseudonym "Richard Bachman"

---

To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its
programmer.
     --Morris Kingston
          attributed to Kingston, unsourced, no biographical information

---

I don't see much of Alfred any more since he got so interested in sex.
     --Mrs Alfred Kinsey (fl mid-XXth century)

---

All the people like us are We, And everyone else is They.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)

---

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)
          ll.29-30 from "If", in Rewards and Fairies.
          Garden City NY: Doubleday, Page & Co., 1911

---

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody.
It saves so much trouble.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)

---

If


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:


If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)
          Rewards and Fairies. Garden City NY: Doubleday, Page & Co., 1911

---

The sin they do two by two they must pay for one by one.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)

---

Smells are surer than sounds or sights
To make your heart-strings crack.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)
          "Lichtenberg", from The Five Nations, London: Methuen, 1903.
          Related to this, T.S. Eliot, in his essay "In praise of Kipling's
          verse" (Harper's Magazine, June 1942, p.156), suggests that
          Kipling valued sensation over thought, and likely would have believed
          that "The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to
          smell it, as you smell India in Kim."

---

There are only two classes of mankind in the world -- doctors and patients.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)

---

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)
          "The Betrothed", poem, in Kipling's Departmental Ditties &
          Barrack Room Ballads. first published as a series in Civil and
          Military Gazette, February-April 1886
              variant: A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always
                  a smoke. --attributed to Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
     --Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)

---

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!
    variant [from www.literato.es]: Un boomerang que no funciona es
        un palo.
     --Bill Kirchenbaum
          attributed to Kirchenbaum, unsourced, no biographical information

---

His heart was yours from the first moment you met.
     --Herman Kirchenhoffer
          The Book of Fate. London [publisher not specified], 1822.
          pp.94-95 [Tome II, Première partie] of Frédéric M.
          Kircheisen's Bibliographie du temps de Napoléon
          [Paris: Honoré Champion/Geneve: F.M. Kircheisen/
          London: Sampson Low, Marston & Co, 1908] begins the list of many
          subsequent editions with the text, "The book of fate,
          formerly in the possession of Napoleon, late Emperor of France, and now
          first rendered in English from a German translation of an ancient Egyptian
          Manuscript found in 1801 by M[onsieur] [Charles Nicolas Sigisbert] Sonnini
          [de Manoncourt] . . . in one of the Royal tombs near Mount Lybicus in
          Upper Egypt". The subtitle of Kirchenhoffer's edition reads,
          "Found in the Cabinet of Napoleon Buonaparte, who Estimated it as His
          Greatest Treasure". Later published without author attribution:
          Chicago and New York: Will Rossiter, Publisher, 1904, retrieved online
          2014.02.02, from which the above version of the quotation was taken;
          an otherwise-unknown figure, "Kirchenhoffer" claimed to have
          translated the book, but many believe he simply fabricated it.
          

          In the Chapter, "Fortune-Telling With Dice",
          32 questions are given, then a set of answers to those questions depending
          on what combination shows up when the dice are rolled; question 15 is
          "Does he love me?" (p.74), and this quotation (p.86) is the
          answer when the dice show a combination of a 2 and 5 (=7); one wonders
          if this applies to males who seek advice from a dice-throwing psychic

---

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
     --Henry Kissinger [Heinz Alfred Kissinger](born 1923)

---

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
     --Henry Kissinger (born 1923)

---

I have bought bread
And I have been given red roses.
How happy I am
To hold both in my hands.
     --Hakushu Kitahara (1885-1942)

---

I can't enjoy a world [that] I need to save.
    complete quote: I can't enjoy a world I need to save, Dean.
        I can enjoy it when this is all over with. For right now, there's
        nothing more important than this.
     --Jenny Klein (born late-XXth century)
          Supernatural, TV series, "Torn and Frayed", 16 January 2013
          spoken by Kevin Tran (Osric Chau), after Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles)
          asks him why he hasn't done more to save his mother from the evil forces

---

Spit it out, you heavenly pile of filth!
     --Jenny Klein (born late-XXth century)
          Supernatural, TV series, "Torn and Frayed", 16 January 2013
          spoken by Crowley (Mark A. Sheppard) as he is torturing the angel Samandriel
          (Tyler Johnston), sometimes referred to as the "Wiener Hut Angel" because of the fast-food uniform he chose for Alfie, the human "vessel"
          in which he interacts with Earth beings

---

I haven't asked for much, and God knows I've gotten it.
     --Wayne Kline [W.H. Kline](born mid-XXth century)
          Married . . . With Children, TV series, "Honey, I Blew Up Myself",
          23 January 1994, spoken by Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill)

---

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed,
they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt
to contain an uncontainable experience.
     --R.S. Knapp

---

Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God.
    variant: Resisting tyrants is obeying God.
     --John Knox (c.1514-1572)
          Knox seems to be one of the first to vindicate resistance to tyrannical
          rulers, despite the New Testament doctrine of submission to earthly law
          (e.g., Matthew XXII:21), arguing that tyrants who suppressed or ignored
          Christianity must not be obeyed; while Knox can be credited with the idea,
          the actual phrase is usually credited to John Bradshaw (1602-1659),
          president of the High Court that tried King Charles I for treason in 1649;
          it was later adopted as a personal motto by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826),
          and apparently used by (and often credited to) Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906),
          Benjamin Franklin (1796-1790), and Rev Jonathan Mayhew (1720-1766), among
          others; it is sometimes misattributed to William Tyndale (1494-1536), and
          others

---

There are areas of the soul that only music can illuminate.
     --Zoltán Kodály (1882-1967)

---

The artist needs an ivory tower, not as an escape from the world, but as a
place where he can view the world and be himself. This tower is for the
artist like a lighthouse shining out across the world.
     --Charles Koechlin [Charles Louis Eugéne Koechlin](1867-1950)
          quoted in "The Tower of Dreams - Charles Koechlin",
          BBC documentary, 1991

---

God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out.
     --Arthur Koestler (1905-1983)

---

Scientists are Peeping Toms at the keyhole of eternity.
     --Arthur Koestler (1905-1983)

---

Brooks become crooked from taking the path of least resistance.
So do people.
     --Harold E. Kohn (1914-1999)
          Adventures in Insight. Grand Rapids MI: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1967

---

Well, you see, [the dinosaur archaeopteryx is] such a transitional
creature. It's a piss-poor reptile and not very much of a bird.
     --Melvin Konner (born 1946)
          The Tangled Wing. London: Heinemann/New York: Henry Holt, 1982

---

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
     --Sir Alexander Korda (1893-1956)

---

The sand remembers
once there was beach and sunshine
but chip is warm too
     --Damon A. Koronakos
        and Brian Roberts
          HI-TECH HAIKUS (from www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q2/teckku.html)

---

There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything
or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking.
     --Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950)

---

The words we use are not the things we refer to . . . the map is not the
territory.
     --Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950)
          "A Non-Aristotelian System and its Necessity for Rigour in
          Mathematics and Physics", paper presented before the American
          Mathematics Society at the meeting of the American Association for the
          Advancement of Science, New Orleans, Louisiana, 28 December 1931.
          It was reprinted in Korzybski's Science and Sanity (Lancaster PA:
          International Non-Aristotelian Library Publishing Co., 1933, pp.747-761)
          where he acknowledged his debt to mathematician Eric Temple Bell
          (1883-1960) whose epigram "The map is not the thing mapped" was
          published in Numerology: The Magic of Numbers. Baltimore:
          Williams and Wilkins, 1933

---

Television -- a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
     --Ernie Kovacs (1919-1962)

---

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
     --Jonathan Kozol (born 1936)

---

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner.
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

---

I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what
I say, and I do not say what it wants to hear.
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)
          Beim Wort Genommen. Munchen: Kösel-Verlag, 1955 (English
          translation by Harry Zohn. Half-Truths and One-and-a-Half Truths.
          Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1990)

---

In the beginning was the review copy, and a man received it
from the publisher. Then he wrote a review. Then he wrote a
book which the publisher accepted and sent on to someone else
as a review copy. The man who received it did likewise. This
is how modern literature came into being.
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

---

Meine Sprache ist die Allerweltshure, die ich zur Jungfrau mache.
[My language is the common whore that I turn into a virgin.]
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)
          Simon Dietrich, Editor. Karl Kraus - Aphorismen und Gedichte: Auswahl 1903-1933
          [Karl Kraus - Aphorisms and Poems: Auswahl 1903-1933].
          Weimar: Hermann Böhlaus Nachfolger, 1985, p.140

---

One's need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone.
There must be empty chairs as well.
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

---

Technology is a servant who makes so much noise cleaning up in the next
room that his master cannot make music.
     --Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

---

Occam's razor isn't the only way to shave.
     --Nancy Kress (born 1948)
          Beggars Ride. New York: Tor Books, 1996
          spoken by Victoria Turner

---

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick
society.
     --Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)

---

Knowledge, idea, belief stands in the way of wisdom.
     --Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)

---

There's a seeker born every minute!
     --Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)
          quoted in Robert Anton Wilson. Cosmic Trigger III: My Life After Death.
          Tempe AZ: New Falcon Publications, 1986, p.112

---

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions. It only
guarantees equality of opportunity.
     --Irving Kristol (1920-2009)

---

To struggle is to live, and the fiercer the struggle the intenser the life.
Then you will have lived, and a few hours of such life are worth years
spent vegetating.
     --Peter Kropotkin [Prince Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin](1842-1921)

---

I'm tired of liberals claiming that the reason why people are poor is that
I'm not paying enough taxes, the reason crime is up is that I own a handgun
and the reason the deficit is high is that I'm not paying enough taxes.
     --Ted Krueger (born mid-XXth century)
        krueger@starbase.neosoft.com

---

A skepticism pointing to the past for its confirmation whispers to us that
metaphysics may be, after all, only the art of being sure of something
that is not so, and logic only the art of going wrong with confidence.
    variant: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
     --Joseph Wood Krutch (1893-1970)
          The Modern Temper: A Study and a Confession. New York: Harcourt,
          Brace, 1929, Chapter VII: The Phantom Certitude, p.228;
          the variant is attributed to W.H. Auden (unsourced) by several
          authors, including Tom Tymoczko and James M. Henle. Sweet Reason: A
          Field Guide to Modern Logic. New York: W.H. Freeman and Company, 1995,
          p.255; other variations are unattributed and unsourced, except for being
          referred to as "Ketterling's Law", or "Manly's Maxim", and so forth

---

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!
     --Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)
        and others
          Dr Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb,
          1964 film; spoken by Dr Strangelove (Peter Sellers)

---

Prison Chaplain (Godfrey Quigley), after a demonstration of how
a government program of behaviour modification has eliminated anti-social
impulses in a former prisoner: Choice. The boy has no real choice, has he?
    Self-interest, the fear of physical pain, drove him to that grotesque act
    of self-abasement. Its insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases to
    be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.
Minister of the Interior (Anthony Sharp): Padre, these are subtleties.
    We're not concerned with motives, with the higher ethics. We are
    concerned only with cutting down crime. . . . He will be your true
    Christian, ready to turn the other cheek, ready to be crucified rather
    than crucify. . . . Reclamation. Joy before the angels of God. The
    point is that it works!
     --Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)
          A Clockwork Orange, 1971 film, screenplay based on Anthony Burgess's
          1962 book of the same title

---

The question is whether or not this [behaviour modification] technique
really makes a man good. Goodness comes from within. Goodness is chosen.
When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man.
     --Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)
          A Clockwork Orange, 1971 film, screenplay based on Anthony Burgess's
          1962 book of the same title; spoken by Prison Chaplain (Godfrey Quigley)

---

love: A constant interrogation.
     --Milan Kundera (born 1929)

---

What can you say about a society that says
God is dead and Elvis is alive?
     --Irv Kupcinet (1912-2003)

---

Here on earth, every human has his own talents and his own flaws. The smart
ones have learned to use their talents, but the happy ones have learned to
accept their flaws.
     --Kushell (born 1969) ~Bob
          3rd Rock from the Sun, TV series, "The Art of Dick;", 19 March 1996
          spoken by Dr Dick Solomon (John Lithgow)

---

Expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like
expecting the bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian.
     --Harold Kushner (born 1935)

---

Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.
[When love is not madness, it is not love.]
     --Pedro Calderón de la Barca (1600-1681)
        Spanish dramatist

---

Les enfants n'ont ni passé ni avenir, et, ce qui ne nous arrive
guère, ils jouissent du présent.
[Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the
present, which very few of us do.]
     --Jean de la Bruyère (1645-1696)
        Les Caractères (1687), "De l'homme", 51(IV)
        (also seen credited [presumably incorrectly] to John Greenleaf Whittier,
        Richard Garfield, and even [president] James A. Garfield)

---

Elves: can't live with 'em, and there's no resale value.
     --Mercedes Lackey (born 1950)
          and Ellen Guon (born 1964). Summoned to Tourney: An Urban Legend.
          New York: Baen Books, 1992

---

I'm going to be just as nasty as you are -- but I'm going to do it
with more style.
     --Mercedes Lackey (born 1950)
          Magic's Pawn. New York: DAW Books, 1989, spoken by Vanyel Ashkevron

---

It's so scary that it's almost beautiful.
     --Mercedes Lackey (born 1950)
          and Ellen Guon (born 1964). Knight of Ghosts and Shadows: An Urban
          Fantasy. New York: Baen Books, 1990

---

You can put a hawk in a songbird's cage, but it's still a hawk.
     --Mercedes Lackey (born 1950)
          By the Sword. New York: Daw Books, 1991
          spoken by Tarma

---

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and
rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.
     --Steph Lady
        and Frank Darabont (born 1959), screenwriters
          Frankenstein, 1994 film
          spoken by The Creature (Frankenstein's monster)

---

I'm trapped in a phone booth at the corner of walk and don't walk
     --LadyBonBon
          "Entitlement", online novel (www.fanfiction.net/s/7930745/)
          Chapter 12, spoken by Tabatha
          similar to song by John Jerrard and Kenny Beard, "I'm at the corner
          of Walk and Don't Walk"

---

I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a
prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at
an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the
party, but no one expects you to say very much."
     --Anthony Lake [William Anthony Kirsopp Lake/Tony Lake](born 1939)
          address at University of Massachussetts, Amherst, graduation, 1995

---

Credulity is the man's weakness, but the child's strength.
     --Charles Lamb (1775-1834)

---

Most people exhibit what political scientists call "the conservatism
of the peasantry". Don't lose what you've got. Don't change. Don't
take a chance, because you might end up starving to death. Play it safe.
Buy just as much as you need. Don't waste time.


When we think about risk, human beings and corporations realize in their
heads that risks are necessary to grow, to survive. But when it comes down
to keeping good people when the crunch comes, or investing money in
something untried, only the brave reach deep into their pockets and play
the game as it must be played.
     --David Lammers
          "Yakitori", Electronic Engineering Times, January 18, 1988

---

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to
die.
     --Anne Lamott (born 1954)

---

Proud Word You Never Spoke


Proud word you never spoke, but you will speak
Four not exempt from pride some future day.
Resting on one white hand a warm wet cheek,
Over my open volume you will say,
"This man loved me!" then rise and trip away.
     --Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864)
          in The Works of Walter Savage Landor, Volume II. London: Edward
          Moxon, 1853, poem No.LXIX, p.626

---

Loss of freedom seldom happens overnight. Oppression doesn't stand on the
doorstep with toothbrush moustache and swastika armband. It creeps up
insidiously . . . step by step, and all of a sudden the unfortunate citizen
realises that it is gone.
     --Baron Lane [Geoffrey Dawson Lane, Baron Lane AFC PC QC](1918-2005)

---

It's a good thing the average person doesn't realize the awesome
destructive power of origami.
     --Douglas Langdale
        Earthworm Jim, animated TV series (1995-96) and video game,

---

The wages of sin are death, but the hours are great.
     --Douglas Langdale
        Earthworm Jim, animated TV series (1995-96) and video game,
        spoken by Psy-crow

---

They're putting acid in the birth control pills now, so that you can take
a trip without the kids.
     --Chris Langham (born 1949)
          The Secret Policeman's Other Ball, Amnesty International Benefit, 1981

---

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
     --Bert Lantz (born 1931)
          according to David G. Beausang (inside.mines.edu/~dbeausan/ [dead link 2022-11-30])
          Bert Lantz (1931-) was a U.S. Government official, and this saying was
          from Nation's Business, May 1977, and quoted in Gregory Titelman.
          Random House Dictionary of America's Popular Proverbs and Sayings.
          New York: Random House, 1996; neither source could be verified online

---

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while
loving someone deeply gives you courage.
     --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, c.570-c.490 BCE)

---

The master appears when the pupil is ready.
    variant: When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
        When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.
     --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, c.570-c.490 BCE)
          unsourced; sometimes attributed simply as Zen proverb or Buddhist proverb,
          and to other sources, including The Analects of Confucius

---

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
     --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, c.570-c.490 BCE)

---

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
     --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, c.570-c.490 BCE)

---

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a
scholar.
     --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, c.570-c.490 BCE)

---

Children can be very queer about their animals.
     --James Lapine (born 1949)
          Into the Woods, 1991 TV film

---

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
     --Pierre Laplace (1749-1827)
        to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God

---

How can you write if you can't cry?
     --Ring Lardner [Ringgold Wilmer Lardner](1885-1933)

---

This Be the Verse


They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
        They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
        And add some extra, just for you.


But they were fucked up in their turn
        By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
        And half at one anothers throats.


Man hands on misery to man.
        It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
        And dont have any kids yourself.
     --Philip Larkin [Philip Arthur Larkin, CH, CBE, FRSL](1922-1985)
          Collected Poems. New York: Farrar Straus and Giroux, 2001

---

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to
throw a snowball.
     --Doug Larson (born 1926)

---

Blessed are the mighty-minded, for they shall ride the whirlwinds --
Cursed are they who teach lies for truth and truth for lies,
for they are an abomination!!
     --Anton LaVay [Anton Szandor LaVay](1930-1997)

---

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty
two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love
heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
     --Lynne Lavner (born c.1960)
          quoted in PFLAG (Fort Collins/Northern CO), Volume K, No. 11, August 2005

---

How I hate the attitude of ordinary people to life. How I loathe
ordinariness! How from my soul I abhor nice simple people, with
their eternal price-list. It makes my blood boil.
     --D.H. Lawrence [David Herbert Richards Lawrence](1885-1930)
          Letter to Aldous Huxley (1894-1963), dated 2 September 1928, in James T.
          Boulton & Margaret H. Boulton, with Gerald Lacy (Editors). The Letters of
          D.H. Lawrence, Volume VI: 1927-28. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press,
          1991, p.542

---

Now the great and fatal fruit of our civilisation, which is a civilisation
based on knowledge, and hostile to experience, is boredom. All our
wonderful education and learning is producing a grand sum-total of
boredom. Modern people are inwardly thoroughly bored. Do as they
may, they are bored.


They are bored because they experience nothing. And they experience
nothing because the wonder has gone out of them. And when the wonder
has gone out of a man, he is dead. He is henceforth only an insect.


When all comes to all, the most precious element in life is wonder.
Love is a great emotion, and power is power. But both love and power
are based on wonder. Love without wonder is a sensational affair,
and power without wonder is mere force and compulsion. The one
universal element in consciousness which is fundamental to life,
is the element of wonder.
     --D.H. Lawrence [David Herbert Richards Lawrence](1885-1930)
          "Hymns in a Man's Life", Evening News, 13 October 1928

---

The tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where
it belongs.
     --D.H. Lawrence [David Herbert Richards Lawrence](1885-1930)

---

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in
the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find
that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous
men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.
     --T.E. Lawrence [Thomas Edward Lawrence, CB, DSO](1888-1935)
          Seven Pillars of Wisdom. privately printed ("Oxford Text"), 1922,
          then London: Jonathan Cape, 1926, and so forth

---

There is a time in the tides of men,
Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
On the other hand, don't count on it.
     --T.K. Lawson
          quoted, unsourced and without further author identification, in
          James Randi. The Truth About Uri Geller. Buffalo NY: Prometheus
          Books, 1982, p.161

---

The New Colossus


Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land,
Here at our sea-washed sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide Welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."
     --Emma Lazarus (1849-1887)
          written in 1883 to aid the Bartholdi Pedestal Fund for the Statue of
          Liberty (which opened in New York Harbor in 1886), then unused until 1903,
          when it was engraved in bronze and placed inside the statue's pedestal

---

A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and
kill something.
     --Stephen Leacock [Stephen Butler Leacock, FRSC](1869-1944)

---

I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and
concern to be different, the African apes would be included in our
family, the Hominidae.
     --Richard Leakey [Richard Erskine Frere Leakey](born 1944)
          quoted, unsourced, in Julia Stewart. Stewart's Quotable Africa.
          London: Penguin Books, 2004

---

Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate
chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat
the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next
morning, that's it! End of fucking list! . . . I thought I was going
to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Sox!
Life sucks. Get a fucking helmet, okay?
     --Denis Leary [Denis Colin Leary](born 1957)
          No Cure for Cancer, 1992 TV special

---

There are three side effects of acid. Enhanced long term memory,
decreased short term memory, and I forget the third.
     --Timothy Leary [Dr Timothy Francis Leary](1920-1996)

---

[There are] two basic principles by which I've lived my life: think for
yourself and question authority.
     --Timothy Leary [Dr Timothy Francis Leary](1920-1996)
          and R.U. Sirius [Ken Goffman](born 1952). Design for Dying. New York:
          HarperEdge, 1997, from the Introduction
          (NOTE: "Question Authority" was a common slogan seen on posters
          and bumper stickers in the 1970s, promoted by popular figures such as
          Dr Leary in speeches and interviews; critics of this view have said that
          the practice of this philosophy emphasises self interest and compromises
          one's ability to fit in to society [Beverly A. Potter & Mark J. Estren.
          Question Authority to Think For Yourself. Oakland CA: Ronin
          Publishing, Inc., 2012])

---

As a teenager, you are at the last stage in your life when you will
be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Children are the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are
both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't put out are ladies.
This is, however, a rather archaic use of the word. Should one of
you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the
conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably
found is a lesbian.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and
small people talk about wine.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by
the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't
known you long enough.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
     --Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)

---

When smashing monuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.
     --Stanislaw Lec [Stanislaw Jerzy Lec](1909-1966)

---

Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don't bite everybody.
     --Stanislaw J. Lec (1909-1966)

---

By an error repeated throughout the ages, truth, becoming a law or a faith,
places obstacles in the way of knowledge. Method, which is in its very
substance ignorance, encloses truth within a vicious circle. We should
break such a circle, not by seeking knowledge, but by discovering the cause
of ignorance.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          Tao of Jeet Kune Do. Valencia CA: Black Belt Books, 1975/2011, p.213
          also in John Little, Editor. Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for
          Daily Living. Boston: Tuttle, 2000, p.152

---

It is futile to argue as to which leaf, which design of branch, or which
attractive flower you like; when you understand the root, you understand
all its blossoming.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          in John Little (Editor). Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for
          Daily Living. Boston: Tuttle, 2000, p.11

---

Set patterns, incapable of adaptability, of pliability, only offer a better
cage. Truth is outside of all patterns.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          Tao of Jeet Kune Do. Valencia CA: Black Belt Books, 1975/2011, p.19

---

A teacher, a good teacher that is, functions as a pointer to truth, but
not a giver of truth. He employs a minimum of form to lead his student
to the formless. Furthermore, he points out the importance of being able
to enter a mold without being imprisoned by it, or to follow the principles
without being bound by them.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          in John Little, Editor. Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for
          Daily Living. Boston: Tuttle, 2000, p.90

---

To understand and live now, everything of yesterday must die.
    variant: To express yourself in freedom, you must die to
        everything of yesterday.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          Tao of Jeet Kune Do. Valencia CA: Black Belt Books, 1975/2011, p.20
          variant in John Little, Editor. Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's
          Wisdom for Daily Living. Boston: Tuttle, 2000, p.169

---

The traditional teacher says, "if your opponent does this, then
you do this, and then you do this and then you do this."
And while you are remembering all the "and thens"
the other guy is killing you.
     --Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
          John Little, Editor. Jeet Kune Do: Bruce Lee's Commentaries on the
          Martial Way. Boston: Tuttle, 1997, p.38

---

. . . here is a Wintu (California) Indian describing the
contrasting relationship of her (Shamanistic) culture and
that of the white man to a common environment:


The white people never cared for land or deer or bear. When
we Indians kill meat, we eat it all up. When we dig roots,
we make little holes. . . . We shake down acorns and pine nuts.
We don't chop down the trees. We only use dead wood. But the
white people plow up the ground, pull up the trees, kill everything.
The tree says, "Don't. I am sore. Don't hurt me." But they chop
it down and cut it up. The spirit of the land hates them. . . .
The Indians never hurt anything, but the white people destroy all.
They blast rocks and scatter them on the ground. The rock says,
"Dont. You are hurting me." But the white people pay no attention.
When the Indians use rocks, they take little round ones for their
cooking. . . . How can the spirit of the earth like the white man? . . .
Everywhere the white man has touched it, it is sore.
     --Dorothy D. Lee (1905-1975)
        Freedom and Culture. Englewood Cliffs NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1959, p.163,
        quoted by Theodore Roszak, The Making of a Counter Culture: Reflections
        on the Technocratic Society and Its Youthful Opposition. Garden City NY:
        Doubleday, 1969, p.245

---

Duty then is the sublimest word in the
English language. You should do your duty in
all things. You can never do more, you should
never wish to do less.
     --Gen. Robert E. Lee (1807-1870)

---

God is love, but get it in writing.
     --Gypsy Rose Lee (1914-1970)

---

Men aren't attracted to me by my mind.
They're attracted by what I don't mind.
     --Gypsy Rose Lee (1914-1970)

---

She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.
     --Gypsy Rose Lee (1914-1970)

---

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.
     --Ursula K. LeGuin [Ursula Kroeber Le Guin](born 1929)
          The Dispossessed: An Ambiguous Utopia. New York: Harper & Row, 1974

---

To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
     --Ursula K. LeGuin [Ursula Kroeber Le Guin](born 1929)
          A Wizard of Earthsea. Berkeley CA: Parnassus Press, 1968

---

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
     --Ursula K. LeGuin [Ursula Kroeber Le Guin](born 1929)

---

e-credibility: the non-guaranteeable likelihood that the electronic data
you're seeing is genuine rather than somebody's made-up crap.
     --Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)

---

My computer can beat up your computer.
     --Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)
          quoted online, unsourced

---

There are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs.
     --Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)
          quoted online, unsourced

---

UNIX: Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to
climb it once.
     --Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)

---

Weekends were made for programming.
     --Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)

---

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared
to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
     --Tom Lehrer (born 1928)

---

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
     --Tom Lehrer (born 1928)

---

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
     --Tom Lehrer (born 1928)

---

What kind of society is this that equates my acquisition of sexual
experience with a loss of purity?
     --Carol Leigh [The Scarlet Harlot](born mid-XXth century)

---

The five rules of Socialism:
1. Don't think.
2. If you do think, don't speak.
3. If you think and speak, don't write.
4. If you think, speak and write, don't sign.
5. If you think, speak, write and sign, don't be surprised.
     --Magda Leja [Maria Radecka](1935-2006)
          Kawal Polski [Polish Joke/A Piece of Poland].
          Warszawa: II obiegu, 1983

---

Safe sex, safe music, safe clothing, safe hair spray, safe ozone layer.
Too late! Everything that's been achieved in the history of mankind has
been achieved by not being safe.
     --Lemmy [Ian Fraser Kilmister](born 1945)
        founding member of the British rock band Motörhead, who also
        said, "If this band moved in next to you, your lawn would die."

---

Nothing is hopeless, we must hope for everything.
     --Madeline L'Engle (1918-2007)

---

Every religious idea, every idea of god, even every flirtation with the
idea of god is unutterable vileness; . . . it is vileness of the most
dangerous kind, "contagion" of the most abominable kind.
     --Lenin [Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov](1870-1924)
          Letter to Maxim Gorky [Alexei Maximovich Peshkov](1868-1936), 14 November 1913, in Selected Works, Volume 11. London: Lawrence & Wishart, Ltd, 1943, pp.675-676
              similar idea: There can be nothing more abominable than
                  religion, --Lenin, in a letter to Maxim Gorky, 13 January 1913

---

Clarence Dolittle (Frank Sinatra): But there isn't anything I can
    do about it.
Joseph Brady (Gene Kelly): There's always something you can do
    about everything.
     --Isobel Lennart (1915-1971)
          Anchors Aweigh, 1945 film

---

And in the end,
the love you take
is equal to
the love you make.
     --John Lennon (1940-1980)
        and Paul McCartney (born 1942), "The End",
        from Abbey Road, 1969

---

Don't you know that it's a fool
that plays it cool, by making the world
a little bit colder.
     --John Lennon [John Winston Lennon/John Ono Lennon](1940-1980)
          and Paul McCartney (born 1942), "Hey Jude", 1968

---

The biggest difference between men and women -- and I think this is
universal -- is that all men laugh at The Three Stooges, and all women
think they are dumb. . . . What kind of a woman would go out with The
Three Stooges? When was the last time you saw two women go,
"Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk"?
    variants: All men laugh at The Three Stooges and all women think
        that The Three Stooges are assholes.
    All men laugh at The Three Stooges and all women think that The Three
        Stooges are idiots.
     --Jay Leno [James Douglas Muir Leno](born 1950)
          Laughing Matters magazine, Volume 5 Number 4, 1989; also from a
          stand-up routine at the 1984 "TV6 Comedy Cabaret", quoted (the
          variant using the word "idiots") in The Milwaukee
          Sentinel, 29 June 1984, p.6, Part 1

---

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
     --Gloria Leonard (born 1940)

---

Il mio modo di vedere le cose talvolta e' ingenuo, un po' infantile,
ma sincero come i bambini della scalinata di Viale Glorioso.
    [My way of seeing things is sometimes naïve, a little childish
    but sincere, like the kids from the Viale Glorioso steps.]
     --Sergio Leone (1929-1989)
          inscription on a plaque commemorating Leone's life, at the foot of
          the Viale Glorioso steps, Trastevere, Roma, where Leone lived until 1949

---

To keep every cog and wheel is the first precaution of intelligent
tinkering.
    variant: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all
        the parts. [attributed, unsourced, to Paul Erlich (1854-1915)]
     --Aldo Leopold (1887-1948)
          "Conservation", in Luna B. Leopold, Editor. Round River.
          New York: Oxford University Press, 1953

---

Love makes its own commandments.
     --Tom Leopold (born 1949)
          Dream On, tv series, "The Charlotte Letter", 15 September 1991
          spoken by Father Augustine (Ray Walston)

---

New York . . . when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way
ahead of you.
     --David Letterman (born 1947)
          Late Night With David Letterman, 9 February 1984 [source: Daniel P.
          Carlson. When Cultures Clash. Upper Saddle River NJ: Prentice-Hall, 2002]

---

Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which
otherwise require harder thinking.
     --Jerome Lettvin [Jerome Ysroael Lettvin](1920-2011)

---

Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.
     --Oscar Levant (1906-1972)

---

I have given up reading books.
I find it takes my mind off myself.
     --Oscar Levant (1906-1972)

---

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.
    variants: A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought
        of it yourself. -attributed to Doug Larson (born 1926)
        A pun is the lowest form of wit, especially if you didn't
        think of it first.
     --Oscar Levant (1906-1972)

---

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility;
there are so few of us left.
     --Oscar Levant (1906-1972)

---

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they
have a common enemy.
     --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

---

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive,
but what they conceal is vital.
     --Aaron Levenstein (1911-1986)

---

The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
     --Dr Roger Levian (fl. mid-XXth Century)
        RAND Corporation (name is sometimes spelt "Levien")
          quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell, 1979/
          New York: Dover, 2013, p.200

---

Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you.
Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is all.
     --Bernard Levin [Henry Bernard Levin](1928-2004)

---

Dr Frazier Crane: Sam, may I suggest deception.
Cliff Clavin: Well, now, hold onta yer horses, there, Frazier.
I mean, as a psychiatrist, isn't it your job to, uh, seek and uphold
the truth?
Frazier: Oh, get real, Cliff.
     --Ken Levine (born 1950)
        and David Isaacs (born mid-XXth century)
          Cheers, TV series, "'I' on Sports", 1987

---

I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring
them [Koreans] democracy and white bread -- transplant the American
Dream: freedom, achievement, hyper-acidity, affluence, flatulence,
technology, tension, the inalienable right to an early coronary sitting
at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's
entertainment!
     --Ken Levine (born 1950)
        and David Isaacs (born mid-XXth century), Larry Balmagia (born mid-XXth
        century), Ronny Graham [Ronald Montcrief Stringer](1919-1999) and
        David Lawrence (born mid-XXth century)
          M*A*S*H, TV series, "Our Finest Hour", 9 October 1978
          spoken by Capt. (Dr) Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce (Alan Alda)

---

You can bend it and twist it . . .
You can misuse and abuse it . . .
But even God cannot change the Truth.
     --Michael Abraham Levy, Baron Levy (born 1944)

---

That is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended -- civilizations
are built up -- excellent institutions devised; but each time something
goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to
the top, and then it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the
machine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and
then it breaks down.
     --C.S. Lewis [Clive Staples 'Jack' Lewis](1898-1963)
          Mere Christianity. New York: Scribner, 1943, Chapter 8

---

After I got sober, I achieved so much clarity that I despise myself
even more.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

From kindergarten on, unlike Wilt Chamberlain, I've had 20,000 rashes
and maybe 100 women.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

I have a manufacturing plant of "emotional baggage" next to my house.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

One of my aunts knitted her own suicide note, an uncle, in his
will, left his grief to science, my mother, a legendary
hypochondriac, used to eat M&Ms, one at a time, with water ,
and my grandfather had such bad breath we had to leave after-death
mints by his graveside yearly after a poltergeist advocacy group
complained to the cemetery board of directors.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)
          in Jon Winokur. Encyclopedia Neurotica, "Foreword".
          New York: St Martin's Press, 2005, p.ix

---

Stop worrying, keep laughing, and thank God you're not me.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)
          "5 major roadblocks you can blast through", Men's Health,
          20 December 2007

---

When I'm touring, to keep sharp, I have problems flown in
fresh daily.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

When you're in love it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days
of your life.
     --Richard Lewis (born 1947)

---

People will buy anything that is one to a customer.
     --Sinclair Lewis (1885-1931)

---

When shall there be
no more upon the earth
such wolves of hell
that father and son
may once again
know peace?
     --Li T'ai Po (701-762)

---

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his
original ideas closer together.
     --Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

---

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write
faster than anybody who can write better.
     --A.J. Liebling (1904-1963)

---

Security and liberty are like beer and TV.
They go well together, but are completely different concepts.
     --James Lileks (born 1958)

---

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true
or becomes true.
    variant: The province of the mind is the only area of science
        in which what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
     --John Lilly [John Cunningham Lilly](1915-2001)
          Programming and Metaprogramming in The Human Biocomputer: Theory and
          Experiments, New York: Julian Press, 1972, p.xii; the variant is
          from the same book (p.57) and also from John Lilly and Jay T. Shurley,
          "Experiments in solitude in maximum achievable physical isolation with
          water suspension of intact, healthy persons." paper presented at Symposium,
          USAF Aerospace Medical Center, San Antonio, Texas, 1960 [and elsewhere]

---

We have never taxed ourselves into prosperity.
     --Rush Limbaugh (born 1951)

---

If you love the sacred and despise the ordinary, you are still bobbing in
the ocean of delusion.
     --Lin-Chi [Linji Yixuan](died 866 CE)
            variant: If you love the sacred and hate the secular, you'll float
                and sink in the life-and-death sea. -Ruth Fuller Sasaki (Translator).
                The Record of Linji. Kyoto: Institute for Zen Studies, 1975,
                pp.22-23

---

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. . . . I could
never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
          quoted by Joseph Lewis in a 1924 speech in New York; Lewis's source for
          these statements apparently is not known

---

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        quoted in Frederick Trevor Hill. Lincoln the Lawyer.
        New York: Century Co., 1908, p.218; while the gentle criticism is
        remembered, the identity of his target apparently is not known

---

He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        widely quoted (usually by religious groups and writers), unsourced

---

Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?
variant: If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        usually credited to the Lincoln-Douglas debates (as in Bob Mankoff,
        "Lincoln's smile", New Yorker, 28 November 2012)

---

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.
variant: God must love the common man; He made so many of them.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
          Conversation with his private secretary, John Hay, 23 December 1863, quoted
          in John G. Nicolay and John Hay. Abraham Lincoln: A History.
          New York: The Century Co., 1890

---

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        widely quoted, unsourced, and the sentiment (if not the words) are
        also credited to several others

---

The problem with quotes on the Internet is that many are not genuine.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

---

Those who deny freedom to others
deserve it not for themselves, and
under a just God cannot long retain it.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        Letter to the Republicans of Boston, 6 April 1959

---

To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        attributed, unsourced

---

We, on our side, are praying to Him to give us victory, because we believe
we are right; but those on the other side pray to Him, too, for victory,
believing they are right. What must He think of us?
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        quoted unsourced in Charles Lincoln van Doren & Robert McHenry (Editors).
        Webster's Guide to American History: A Chronological, Geographical,
        and Biographical Survey and Compendium. Springfield MA: G. & C.
        Merriam Co., 1971, p.224

---

What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried
against the new and untried?
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        Cooper Union (Cooper Institute) Speech, 27 February 1860, New York City
        While this rhetorical question can be used to challenge or support
        conservatism, Lincoln's purpose was to make the case that conservatism
        was preferable.

---

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse
to see it tried on him personally.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America

---

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people
all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
     --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
        16th president of the United States of America
        This adage has been credited to Lincoln since shortly after his death,
        though it does not appear in his writings or newspaper accounts during
        his life. According to the Quote Investigator, a very similar
        aphorism is found in "Traité de la Vérité de la Religion Chrétienne", a tract written
        in 1684 by Jacques Abbadie: ont pû tromper quelques hommes, ou les tromper tous dans certains
        lieux et en certains tems [sic], mais non pas tous les hommes, dans tous les lieux et
        dans tous les siécles..

---

Retaliation


A foolish hermit closed his doors and said
    "I'll live a Godly life untouched by sin."
Alas! Who builds a wall about himself
    Shuts out much more of God than he shuts in.
     --James C. Lindberg (born late XIXth century)
          in Adeline M. Jenney, Editor. Prairie Poets: An Anthology of Verse of the
          South Dakota State Poetry Society, 1927-1949. Minneapolis: Lund Press, 1949
          [credited as "J.C. Lindberg " in Anthony Wons. Tony's Scrap
          Book, 1932-33 Edition. Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1932, p.36]

---

You must adjust. . . . This is the legend imprinted in every
schoolbook, the inevitable message on every blackboard.
     --Dr Robert M. Lindner (born early XXth century)
          Must You Conform?. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1956
          (author of Rebel Without a Cause: The Hypnoanalysis of a Criminal
          Psychopath. New York: Grune & Stratton/Waverly Press, 1944)

---

The highest form of patriotism is
an honest and open dissent.
     --John Vliet Lindsay (1921-2000)
          Mayor of New York City
          The Tonight Show (television) airing 21 May 1970

---

We are all under the flag.
     --John Vliet Lindsay (1921-2000)
          Mayor of New York City

---

Direct, logical, free, and vigorous thinking, independent of adult
conventions, is a peculiar gift of boyhood.
     --Judge Benjamin Barr Lindsey (1869-1943)
          The Revolt of Modern Youth. New Yori: Boni & Liveright, 1925, p.327

---

I am for children first, because I am for society first,
and the children of today are the society of tomorrow.
     --Judge Benjamin Barr Lindsey (1869-1943)

---

I used to think about the future, and then it became the present, so I
thought about it quite often then; and then it was in the past, so I
didn't think about it that much.
     --Graham Linehan (born 1968)
        and Arthur Mathews (born 1959)
          Father Ted, "And God Created Woman", 19 May 1995,
          spoken by Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan)

---

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.
    variant: Laugh, and the world ignores you.
        Crying doesn't help either.
     --J.M. Linsner [Joseph Michael Linsner](born 1968)

---

On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective
software tool, but an agent of technical and social change within the
University.
     --John Lions (1937-1998)
          widely quoted, unsourced, in usenet groups referring to Lions' affiliation
          as "U. of Toronto (?)"; a number of postings point out
          that he was at the University of New South Wales, Australia, though he
          did work at KCS Ltd in Toronto early in his career
          [source:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lions ]

---

How are you going to run the universe if you can't even answer a few
unsolveable problems?
     --Steven Lisberger (born 1951)
          Tron, 1982, spoken by Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges)

---

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick -- a youth with
his first girl makes other people sick.
     --Mary Wilson Little (born 1880)

---

To live in love is to live in everlasting youth. Whoever enters old age by
this royal road will find the last of life to be the very best of life.
Instead of finding himself descending the hills of life, he will find it
uphill all the way, into clearer air. There the vision reaches further;
there the sunsets are more golden, and the twilight lasts longer.
     --Mary Livermore [Mary Ashton Rice](1820-1905)
          quoted in Anthony Wons. Tony's Scrap Book, 1932-33 Edition.
          Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1932, p.30

---

I know engineers. They love to change things.
     --Harold Livingston (born 1924)
          Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 1979 film
          spoken by Dr Leonard 'Bones' McCoy (DeForest Kelley)

---

I hate everybody, but I don't hate everybody equally -
since I hate egalitarians, too.
     --Lizard [lizard@mercury.interpath.net]

---

I have, for many years, longed for the coveted title of net.kook -- but
as you are making clear to me, the competition is just too tough.
     --Lizard [lizard@mercury.interpath.net]

---

I would rather live in a society which treated children as adults than one
which treated adults as children.
     --Lizard [lizard@mercury.interpath.net]

---

It's a pain in the butt trying to remove the chains from people who keep
whining that they need them to keep their ankles warm.
     --Lizard [lizard@mercury.interpath.net]

---

The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.
     --John Locke (1632-1704)

---

New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed,
without any other reason but because they are not already common.
     --John Locke (1632-1704)
          "Essay Concerning Human Understanding", 1689

---

No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience.
     --John Locke (1632-1704)
          "Essay Concerning Human Understanding", 1689
          Book II, Chapter 9, section 4

---

The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful.
     --Frederick Locker-Lampson (1821-1895)

---

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's weather you get back up.
     --Vincent Thomas 'Vince' Lombardi (1913-1970)

---

We didn't loose the game; we just ran out of time.
     --Vincent Thomas 'Vince' Lombardi (1913-1970)

---

Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
     --Vincent Thomas 'Vince' Lombardi (1913-1970)

---

"He led a lost cause, and he was not afraid of God's
thunderbolts," Wolf Larsen was saying. "Hurled into hell,
he was unbeaten. A third of God's angels he had led with him, and
straightway he incited man to rebel against God, and gained for
himself and hell the major portion of all the generations of man.
Why was he beaten out of heaven? Because he was less brave than
God? less proud? less aspiring? No! A thousand times no! God was
more powerful, as he said, Whom thunder hath made greater. But
Lucifer was a free spirit. To serve was to suffocate.
He preferred suffering in freedom to all the happiness of a
comfortable servility. He did not care to serve God. He cared to serve
nothing. He was no figurehead. He stood on his own legs. He was an
individual."
     --Jack London [John Griffith Chaney](1876-1916)
          The Sea Wolf. New York: Macmillan, 1904

---

A boy's will is the wind's will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.
     --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
          from a Lapland song, quoted in the poem My Lost Youth, 1855
              original (?):
                  PUERORUM VOLUNTAS VOLUNTAS VENTI
                  JUVENUM COGITATIONES LONGAE COGITATIONES
                    --Johannes Scheffer (1621-1679)
                        Historia Lapponiae (1678)

---

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often
times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
     --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

---

Give what you have; to someone it may be better than you dare to think.
     --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

---

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each
man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
     --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

---

From hand to hand the greeting flows,
From eye to eye the signals run,
From heart to heart the bright hope glows;
The seekers of the Light are one.
     --Samuel Longfellow (1819-1892)
        from the hymn, "O Life that Makest All Things New", 1874
        music after Doversdale by Samuel Stanley (1767-1822)

---

The Two of Me


The man I am prefers the light
The deeds well brought to pass.
The boy I was made friends with night
Where mystery still was.


We dwell as one yet rarely meet
And when we meet oppose
Boy dreams, so often indiscreet
To man deeds won in prose.


We find our union makes for gain:
A vigor that resolves
Work into joy and peace from strain,
True love from lesser loves.
     --T. Morris Longstreth [Thomas Morris Longstreth](1886-1975)

---

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
     --Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

---

James Lord (Armie Hammer): Have you always been like this?
Alberto Giacometti (Geoffrey Rush): Like what?
Lord: So doubtful of your own ability.
Giacometti: Oh, of course. It gets worse every year.
Lord: But you become more successful every year.
Giacometti: What better breeding ground for doubt than success?
     --James Lord (1923-2009) and
        Stanley Tucci (born 1960)
          Final Portrait, 2017 film

---

Sometimes in the night, I would like someone to speak to.
Will you stay with me?
     --Stephen Lord (1926-2012)
          Tarzan and the Jungle Boy, 1968 film
          spoken by Erik Brunik/Djakara, Boy of the Trees (Steve Bond), to Tarzan
          (Mike Henry) after they've met in the jungle and had a long conversation

---

I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write,
speak, be, I'll be sending messages on a Ouija board, cryptic complaints
from the other side.
     --Audre Lorde (1934-1992)

---

Your silence will not protect you.
     --Audre Lorde (1934-1992)

---

I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man.
It is us.
     --Konrad Lorenz (1903-1989)

---

The average person thinks he isn't.
     --Father Larry Lorenzoni (born c.1924)

---

At thirty-nine years old I finally woke up to the fact that the principles
I was taught as a child, like fairness and justice, have no place in the
world of power and money. The rules of the sandbox, strictly enforced by a
wise and compassionate adult, are laughable when the sandbox is the
television business and there are Mercedes and Bentleys parked alongside
it. What's odd is that twenty years later, despite my belated awakening to
the reality of amorality, that old schoolyard programming continues to
insist on its rightness. Ideas like "play nice," "share your toys,"
  "no name-calling," "take turns" and "misbehaving gets punished"
still resonate inside me as if they were some sort of fundamental truths.
Of course, I now know that they are not. At best, they're ideals. Lofty
goals to aspire to. The truisms of the real world are more along the lines
of, "my ball, my bat, my rules" and "money talks, bullshit walks."
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #383, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Hawking Excitation", 5 April 2012
          [In fairness, it should be pointed out that the onscreen "Vanity Card"
          substituted "bull$#*!" for "bullshit"]

---

Bite the hand that feeds you because you've had more than enough to eat.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #315, first aired at end of Two and a Half Men,
          "Ow, Ow, Don't Stop", 22 November 2010

---

Dead is the new unambiguous.
Bipolar is the new undecided.
Heavily armed is the new born again.
. . .
The smiley-face emoticon is the new "sincerely yours."
. . .
Misinformed is the new patriotic.
. . .
Texting is the new talking.
. . .
Gay marriage is the new "be careful what you wish for."
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #260, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Gothowitz Deviation", 5 October 2009

---

Dr Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik): I find the notion of romantic
    love to be an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to
    human relationships.
Dr Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons): Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most
    pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
        with Steven Molaro (born mid-XXth century) and Steve Holland (born mid-XXth century)
          The Big Bang Theory, TV series, "The Desperation Emanation", 21 October 2010

---

From its inception, our national culture [United States of America]
has been predicated on the ruthless pursuit of profit. . . .
grandiose patriotism has always been a mask used to hide banal
self-interest.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #571, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Tesla Recoil", 16 November 2017
          NOTE: in the broadcast version of this Vanity Card (but not the online
          version) there is a 'title' over the text that reads, "The Real Art
          of the Deal", an obvious reference to Donald Trump's 1987 book,
          The Art of the Deal indicating that this sentiment is meant to be
          a comment on Trump's politics

---

How can I miss you if you won't go away?
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #471, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Septum Deviation", 13 November 2014

---

I am haunted by one question regarding Ravi Shankar.
How would we have known if he made mistakes?
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #403, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Egg Salad Equivalency", 3 January 2013
          Pandit Ravi Shankar (1920-2012) was an Indian musician who was considered
          the foremost sitar artist of the last half of the XXth century

---

I think that if you got to know me, your loathing would melt away and,
in time, blossom into indifference.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #455, aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Anything Can Happen Recurrence", 10 April 2014, and
          Two and a Half Men, "Lotta Delis in Little Armenia",
          24 April 2014

---

In a blinding flash I realized that what I was really experiencing was the
result of a life-long indoctrination by a culture which elevates
individualism above all else, thus causing a soul-crushing sense of
aloneness which demands over and under the counter medication, the constant
distraction of sporting events, TV, major motion pictures and a
pop-tabloid religion based on celebrity worship/crucifixion.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #186 ("Zen Noir"), first aired at end of The Big
          Bang Theory, "The Fuzzy Boots Corollary", TV episode, 8 October 2007

---

The infinite needs us to see it.
Without the perceiver,
the perceived does not exist.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #225, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Panty Piñata Polarization", 10 November 2008

---

It appears as if roughly half the people in this country think that they're
in mortal danger from their own government. . . . But keep in mind that
bureaucrats who can't find their ass with a flashlight and a hand mirror
are not likely to find you either. To paraphrase Bobby McGee: "Freedom's
just another word for who the hell's in charge here?"
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #396, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Holographic Excitation", 25 October 2012

---

Modernity's scary,
antiquity's worse,
can't go forward,
can't reverse.
So here's a plan
to ease your unknowing,
ride the horse
in the direction it's going.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #572, first aired at end of Young Sheldon, "A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball,
          and a Cheerleader's Bosom", TV episode, 23 November 2017

---

Remember, your body is a temple; however, it's also your dancehall and
bowling alley.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
        et al.
          Dharma and Greg, TV series, 1997-2002
          spoken by Dharma Montgomery (Jenna Elfman)

---

Sentient life was created by an insentient universe in order for
the insentient universe to be admired.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #349, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Skank Reflex Analysis", 22 September 2011

---

The smell of burning books reminds me of Church picnics in East Texas.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
        with Eric Kaplan (born mid-XXth century) and Steve Holland (born mid-XXth century)
          The Big Bang Theory, TV series, "The Relationship Diremption", 10 April 2014

---

Success has many parents, and even more lawyers.
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #361, first aired at end of The Big Bang Theory,
          "The Rhinitis Revelation", 20 October 2011

---

We have once again arrived at a moment in history where the truth can be
defined as "that which you can make other people believe." The
methodology for creating that belief is repetition. Say something enough
times and it becomes, for millions of people, the truth. I am endowed like
a stallion. This is why control of the media equals control of the
populace. I am endowed like a stallion. [and so forth]
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #221, first aired at end of Two and a Half Men,
          "The Flavin' and the Mavin'", 13 October 2008, at the end of the administration
          of U.S. president George W. Bush

---

What does it say about us when we are simultaneously pro-life and
pro AK-47's? What does it say about us when God's will would allow a
rapist to ask for shared custody and child support payments? What
does it say about us when a black guy's in charge and we say things
like "it's time to take America back"? What does it say about us
when we think the institution of marriage is threatened by gay
people who love each other, but not by idiotic game shows like
"The Bachelor"? What does it say about us when we export
democracy with Hellfire missiles, then restrict the right to vote here?
What does it say about us when we build nuclear submarines to
defend against exploding vests? What does it say about us when
we think a guy who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, keeps his money
offshore, stubs his toe and says "H-E-double hockey sticks" and
wears magical underwear can feel our pain? What does it say about
us when we demand less government and more FEMA? What does it say
about us when we completely forgot the colossal shit storm we were
in four years ago?


The answer, my friends, is not blowing in the wind.


The answer is, "We are fucking crazy."
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #397, intended to air at end of The Big Bang Theory,"The Extract
          Obliteration", 1 November 2012; this Vanity Card, however, was self-censored
          by the author in a short explanation put in its place at the end of the
          show; in it, he noted, "I know when I've crossed the line with these things
          and don't need a bunch of corporate lawyers getting their cotton blend
          panties in a bunch."

---

When I was a little boy in Hebrew school the rabbis regularly told us
that we were the chosen people. That we were God's favorites. Which is
all well and good except that I went home, observed my family and,
despite my tender age, thought to myself, "bullshit".
     --Chuck Lorre [Chaim Levine/Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
          Vanity Card #327, first aired at end of Two and a Half Men,
          "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak", 7 February 2011
          [As in other Lorre "Vanity Card", the author chose not to annoy
          his network censors and substituted "bull$#*!" for "bullshit".
          This begs the question, who is fooling whom? Everyone knows what the word
          is without the garbage characters "protecting" the reader's
          delicate sensibilities. What's the point? The only conclusion I can draw is
          that censorship is "bull$#*!", and Europeans are right to laugh
          their a&%es off at us.]

---

I have become the nightmare you once thought me to be.
     --David Loughery
        The Three Musketeers, 1993 film
        spoken by Sabine/Milady d'Winter (Rebecca de Mornay)

---

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
     --Joe Louis (1914-1981)

---

If by growing a goatee you hope to come upon wisdom,
Then, O wise friend,
Any smelly goat in a handsome beard
Is at once Plato.
     --Λουκιανος [Loukianos/Lucian](120-180 CE)

---

I don't really miss God, but I sure miss Santa Claus!
     --Courtney Love [Courtney Michelle Harrison](born 1964)

---

Altruism is when our selfishness benefits someone else.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The average American attention span is . . .
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The best part about gay men is that they're not always trying to
prove that they're not gay.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

A concert is where they ruin all the songs you enjoyed on the radio.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Don't count your chickens before they're all in one basket.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Everyone has that uncle you just can't trust. Mine is Uncle Sam.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

God is whatever came before the Big Bang.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

If you go the wrong direction, everything is overseas.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The last thing you want your relationship to become is serious.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Let no one belittle your integrity without paying you good money
to do so.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Live each day like it's your second-to-last. That way you can fall
asleep at night.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Men are hit by lightning four times more often than are women, proof
that God is improving Her aim.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

No man is an island, but many are that large.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

No means no. So does pepper spray.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Public television is commercial-free during those brief intervals when
they're not asking for money.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The rat race is for the birds.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The real world is a figment of our lack of imagination.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Remember that you are totally unique just like everyone else.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

"Royal gala" . . . "Rome beauty" . . . "red
delicious" . . . apples are always looking for that edge.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

Swingers cheat on each other together.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

There is no "I" in team, but there is a "me."
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The traffic is always lighter in someone else's lane.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The upside to dying is that you don't have to go to work the next day.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

What we could really use is freedom from the press.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

What's good for you depends largely on who sponsors the study.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

When you get mad, take ten deep breaths. If you're still mad, it's
okay to hurt someone.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The world is divided into haves and have-nots: those who have a sense
of humor and those who do not.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

You just think it's all in your head.
     --Jason Love (born late-XXth century)

---

The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human
mind to correlate all its contents.
     --H.P. Lovecraft [Howard Phillips Lovecraft](1890-1937)
          The Call of Cthulhu. first published in Weird Tales, February
          1928, later Gloucester: Dodo Press, 2002, Chapter 1: The Horror in Clay

---

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
[In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming]
    parodies: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Bill Clinton R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
        MORTUS IN R'LYEH DOMICILIO CTHULHU IN SOMNIEM MANET
     --H.P. Lovecraft [Howard Phillips Lovecraft](1890-1937)
          The Call of Cthulhu. first published in
          Weird Tales, February 1928, later Gloucester: Dodo Press, 2002
          Cthulhu's worshippers, inhabitants of R'lyeh, an underwater city in the
          South Pacific, chant these words in hope that their hibernating leader
          will eventually return to power

---

The challenge of space exploration and particularly of landing men on the
moon represents the greatest challenge which has ever faced the human race.
Even if there were no clear scientific or other arguments for proceeding
with this task, the whole history of our civilization would still impel
men toward the goal. In fact, the assembly of the scientific and military
with these human arguments creates such an overwhelming case that it can be
ignored only by those who are blind to the teachings of history, or who
wish to suspend the development of civilization at its moment of greatest
opportunity and drama.
     --Bernard Lovell [Sir Alfred Charles Bernard Lovell, OBE, FRS](1913-2012)
          quoted in Vernon van Dyke. Pride and Power: The Rationale of the Space
          Program. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1964, p.158;
          some later sources leave out the word "human" in the third
          sentence, rendering the phrase, "with these arguments"

---

Blessed are they who have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded
to say it.
     --James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

---

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully
like other people.
     --James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

---

If we see a light at the end of the tunnel,
it's the light of an oncoming train.
    variants: You will see the light at the end of the tunnel;
        unfortunately, it will be the light of an oncoming freight train.
    Rowe's Rule: The odds are five to six that the light at the end of the
        tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.
     --Robert Lowell [Robert Traill Spence 'Cal' Lowell IV](1917-1977)
          "Since 1939" (poem), Day By Day, 1977; the "Rowe's
          Rule" variant is from The Washingtonian, November 1978

---

A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.
     --Victor Lownes [Victor Aubrey Lownes III](born 1928)

---

A room without books is as a body without a soul.
     --Sir John Lubbock [John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury](1834-1913)

---

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them.
     --E.V. Lucas (1868-1938)

---

So this is how liberty dies, to thunderous applause.
     --George Lucas (born 1944)
          Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, 2005 film
          spoken by Padmé Amidala [Padmé Naberrie]

---

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail,
no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say,
"Women don't have what it takes."
     --Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)

---

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity,
it should end there.
     --Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)

---

No good deed goes unpunished.
     --Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)

---

There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown
helpless about them.
     --Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)

---

Thoughts have no sex.
     --Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)

---

NAM VELUTI PUERI TREPIDANT ATQUE OMNIA CAECIS
IN TENEBRIS METUUNT SIC NOS IN LUCE TIMEMUS
INTERDUM NIHILO QUAESUNT METUENDA MAGIS QUAM
QUAE PUERI IN TENEBRIS PAVITANT FINGUNTQUE FUTURA
     --Lucretius [Titus Lucretius Carus](c.99-c.55 BCE)
          DE RERUM NATURA III 87-90

---

I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things,
sorrow, misforturne, and suffering, are outside my door. I am in
the house, and I have the key.
     --Charles Fletcher Lummis (1859-1928)

---

All the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned
products, if they are built at all, are dogs!
     --David E. Lundstrom (born mid-XXth century)
          A Few Good Men From UNIVAC. Cambridge MA: MIT Press, 1987

---

God completely spurns that which is high, and yet we think of nothing
but how to make ourselves high and well-regarded, not wanting God to
see us in the depths, in our poverty, our weakness, and our shame - the
only place where he looks.
     --Martin Luther (1483-1546)
          Christmas Sermon (Luke 2:1-14) 1521, point #20; translation as spoken at
          King's College, Cambridge in the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols,
          Christmas Eve 2000

---

Warum furzet und rülpset ihr nicht? Hat est euch nicht geschmecket?
[Why aren't you farting and burping? Didn't it taste good?]
     --Martin Luther (1483-1546)
          attributed to Luther by "every German student from the sixteenth
          century onwards", according to James Reston Jr. Luther's Fortress.
          New York: Basic Books, 2015

---

A world is supported by four things . . . the learning of the wise, the
justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous and the valor of
the brave.
     --David Lynch (born 1946)
          Dune, 1984 film, spoken by Reverend Mother Ramallo (Silvana Mangano)

---

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow only by
deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle this skin, but to give up
interest wrinkles the soul.
     --Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

---

Our swollen budgets constantly have been misrepresented to the public.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in
a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave
national emergency. Always there has been some terrible evil at home
or some monstrous foreign power that was going to gobble us up if
we did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant
funds demanded. Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem never
to have happened, seem never to have been quite real.
     --Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
          Address to the Annual Stockholders Sperry Rand Corporation (30 July 1957),
          as published in Edward T. Imparato. General MacArthur Speeches and
          Reports 1908-1964. Paducah KY: Turner Publications, 2000, p.206

---

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.
     --Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

---

We know no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its
periodical fits of morality.
     --Thomas Babington Macaulay (1800-1859)
          Lord Byron. London: Longman, Brown, Green and Longmans, 1856, p.8
          apropos the scandal surrounding the separation of Lord Byron from his wife

---

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level
wouldn't cure.
     --Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

---

Altho' the first wild rapture may depart,
The love of loveliness is with me still.
     --Ronald Campbell Macfie (1867-1931)
          "Love's Immortality", from War: An Ode, and Other Poems.
          New York: E.P. Dutton and Company, 1920

---

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
     --Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)
          The Prince 1513/1532

---

There is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success,
nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things.
For the reformer has enemies in all those who profit by the old order
and only lukewarm defenders in those who would profit by the new order;
this lukewarmness arising partly from fear of their adversaries, who
have laws in their favour; and partly from the incredulity of mankind
who do not truly believe in anything new until they have had actual
experience of it.
     --Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

---

"What's the bravest thing you've ever said," asked the boy.

"Help." said the horse.
     --Charlie Mackesy (born 1962)
          The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. New York: HarperOne, 2019

---

The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he
resigns momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
     --Archibald MacLeish (1892-1982)

---

What have been [Christianity's] fruits? . . . Superstition, bigotry
and persecution. . . . In no instance have [the churches] been seen the
guardians of the liberties of the People.


more complete quote: During almost fifteen centuries has the legal
    establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits?
    More or less, in all places, price and indolence in the clergy;
    ignorance and servility in the laiety [sic]; in both,
    superstition, bigotry and persecution. . . .


    What influences, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on civil
    society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual
    tyranny on the ruins of civil authority; in many instances they have been
    seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they
    been guardians of the liberties of the People. Rulers who wished to subvert
    the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient
    auxiliaries. A just Government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it,
    needs them not. Such a government will be best supported by protecting
    every citizen in the enjoyment of his religion, with the same equal hand
    that protects his person and property; by neither invading the equal
    rights of any sect, nor suffering any sect to invade those of another.
     --James Madison (1751-1836)
        Fourth president of the United States of America
          Memorial and Remonstrance Against Religious Assessments (1784-85).
          Worcester MA: Isaiah Thomas, 1786/Washington City: S.C. Ustick, 1828, pp.7-8

---

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death
than the animals that know nothing.
     --Maurice Maeterlinck (1862-1949)

---

Un objet ne fait jamais le même office que son nom ou que son image.
[An object never serves the same function as its name or its image.]
     --René Magritte [René François Ghislain Magritte](1898-1967)
          "Les mots et les images" ["Words and images"], La
          révolution surréaliste, December 1927

---

The Strange Child


The strange child who refuses
to wear our uniform
plays on tomorrow's team.


None of us knows the rules
he goes by, even the game.
Nor he. Poor pioneer


halfway between two eras,
rocketing blind from here
to a postulated planet,


he is our emissary
ferrying into the future
love if not understanding.
     --Francis Maguire (1918-2011)

---

Americans don't want privacy. They want attention! . . . We are a nation
of exhibitionists from "me" to shining "me". And what
we really fear isn't that someone's listening; it's that no one's
listening.
     --Bill Maher [William Maher Jr](born 1956)
          "New Rules", Real Time With Bill Maher, 17 February 2006

---

Sending someone a birthday e-card doesn't count. If you can't get your
shit together enough to go to Sav-On and pick out an actual physical
birthday card, don't bother. I'm not expecting Hallmark. I know you
don't care enough to send the "very best", but just don't send
the very worst. Or else, when you die, I'll be forced to deliver an
e-eulogy.
     --Bill Maher [William Maher Jr](born 1956)

---

Auferstehung [Resurrection]


O glaube: Du wardst nicht umsonst geboren!
Hast nicht umsonst gelebt, gelitten!
. . .
Was entstanden ist, das muß vergehen!
Was vergangen, auferstehen!
Hör auf zu beben!
Bereite dich zu leben!
. . .
Mit Flügeln, die ich mir errungen,
Werd ich entschweben!
Sterben werd' ich, um zu leben!
Aufersteh'n, ja aufersteh'n wirst du,
Mein Herz, in einem Nu!
Was du geschlagen,
Zu Gott wird es dich tragen!


Oh believe: you were not born in vain!
You have not lived, nor suffered in vain!
. . .
What has come into being must pass away!
What is gone must rise again!
Stop trembling!
Prepare yourself to live!
. . .
With wings that I have gained
I shall soar!
I shall die to live!
Rise, yes, you shall rise again,
my heart, in a moment!
What you have struggled for
    [lit: What has struck you, beaten you down]
will take you to God!
     --Gustav Mahler (1860-1911)
        Fifth (final) Movement, Langsam. Misterioso, Symphony II (1895)
        English is a hybrid version of several translations provided in
        various concert programmes, including those by Deryck Cooke,
        Salvador Pila, Lionel Salter and William Mann

---

Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.
     --Gustav Mahler (1860-1911)

---

James Bond: What, do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!
     --Richard Maibaum (1909-1991)
        and Paul Dehn (1912-1976)
          Goldfinger, 1964 film

---

You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes.
     --Maimonides [Moses Maimonides/Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon](1135-1204)

---

. . . he was an expert in cutting corners; and when there were
no corners left he would make circles rounder.
     --Bernard Malamud (1914-1986)
          The Magic Barrel. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1950

---

A little girl is lovely, I've said it many times,
When to your glad embraces so happily she climbs;
But don't forget her brother, he knows the meaning of
A fatherly affection, and wants a wealth of love.
So bring him closer to you, and hold him just as tight
When you go home to greet your little woman tonight.
A house is doubly happy, has twice as much of joy,
When a father's arm encircles the shoulders of his boy.


There's something strange about it, but fathers seem to feel
From sons a fond affection is something to conceal.
They stoop and kiss the daughter, while near them stands the son,
Though she perhaps is happy, and he the longing one.
They pet the little woman, and pass the little man,
Who wants to tell a trouble or share a boyish plan.
And yet the purest picture of love without alloy
Is when a man encircles the shoulders of his boy.


To him you seem a hero . . . to be a hero, too,
Requires a close communion between your boy and you.
He needs a hand to steady, he needs a word to cheer
Perhaps in greater measure than all the others here.
A mother's love is holy, a mother's love is long,
But oh a dad's affection can keep a boy so strong.
Temptations lie around him, temptations that destroy,
So let your arms enircle the shoulders of your boy.
     --Douglas Malloch (1877-1938)

---

Consequences, shmonsequences! As long as I'm rich!
Mine! Mine! It's all mine!
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
          "Ali Baba Bunny", 1956 Warner Bros cartoon
          spoken by Daffy Duck

---

Go on! Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers
and gunpowder and cordite!
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
          "Duck! Rabbit, Duck!", 1953 Warner Bros cartoon
          spoken by Daffy Duck

---

Hankerin' for trouble, eh? Well I would like--
[aside] I would like? I would like a trip to Europe!
I would like . . .
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
          "Drip-Along Daffy", 1951 Warner Bros cartoon
          spoken by Daffy Duck

---

Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
          "Robin Hood Daffy", 1958 Warner Bros cartoon
          spoken by Daffy Duck

---

Oh . . . I apologize madame, for suspecting your integrity.
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
          "Rabbit Seasoning", 1952 Warner Bros cartoon
          spoken by Daffy Duck

---

The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
     --Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
        et al.
          The Yogi Bear Show, TV series, 1961-1988
          spoken by BooBoo Bear (quote might be apocryphal)

---

Policemen so cherish their status as keepers of the peace and protectors of
the public that they have occasionally been known to beat to death those
citizens or groups who question that status.
     --David Mamet [David Alan Mamet](born 1947)

---

Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.
     --Horace Mann (1796-1859)

---

We all know problems. How we meet them makes the difference.
One man gives up. Another perseveres . . . and armed with new knowledge,
born of trying, finds the way to succeed.
What do you see down a rocky path?
Stumbling blocks or stepping stones?
It's the point of view that counts.
     --Paul Mann (1913-1985)

---

And his heart was stirred, it felt a father's kindness:
such an emotion as the possessor of beauty can inspire
in one who has offered himself up in spirit to create beauty.
     --Thomas Mann (1875-1955)
          Death in Venice [Der Tod in Venedig], 1911, in H.T. Lowe-Porter
          (Translator). Death in Venice and Seven Other Stories by Thomas Mann.
          New York: Vintage Books, 1936, p.34

---

Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
     --Mao Tse-Tung [Mao Zedong](1893-1976)

---

People who lack the clarity, courage, or determination to follow their
own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours. When you change
for the better, the people around you will be inspired to change
also . . . but only after doing their best to make you stop.
Live your truth and don't ever stop.
     --Steve Maraboli (born 1975)
        Life, the Truth and Being Free.
        Port Washington NY: A Better Today Publishing, 2009, p.152
        It is unclear whether this is the original source of this idea.
        Other versions found on the Web: "People too weak to follow
        their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours."
        "Those who abandon their own dreams will try to discourage yours."
          (The idea is also contained in the printed lyrics of the Reflux
          song "There's no Sunlight in My Cubicle",
          from the album The Illusion of Democracy, 2004,
          though if you can hear them in the actual song [posted on
          YouTube as of 2012], your ears are better than mine)

---

"       "
     --Marcel Marceau (1923-2007)

---

I find that the most successful approach to the subject of babies is
to discuss them as though they were hams; the firmness of the flesh,
the pinkness of the flesh, the even distribution of fat, the sweetness
and tenderness of the whole, and the placing of bone are the things
to praise.
     --Samuel Marchbanks
        (pseudonym of William Robertson Davies [1913-1995])

---

The people recognize themselves in their commodities; they find their
soul in their automobile, hi-fi set, split-level home, kitchen equipment.
The very mechanism which ties the individual to his society has changed,
and social control is anchored in the new needs which it has produced."
     --Herbert Marcuse (1898-1979)
          One-Dimensional Man: Studies in the Ideology of Advanced Industrial
          Society. Boston: Beacon Press/London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1964/1991, p.11

---

I just thought of something funny . . . your mother.
     --Cheech Marin [Richard Anthony Marin](born 1946)

---

Who are My People?


My people? Who are they?
I went into the church where the congregation
Worshiped my God. Were they my people?
I felt no kinship to them as they knelt there.


My people! Where are they?
I went into the land where I was born,
Where men spoke my language . . .
I was a stranger there.
My people, my soul cried. Who are my people?


Last night in the rain I met an old man
Who spoke a language I do not speak,
Which marked him as one who does not know my God.
With apologetic smile he offered me
The shelter of his patched umbrella.
I met his eyes . . . And then I knew . . .
     --Rosa Zagnoni Marinoni (1888-1970)

---

We want to fashion puppets that pull their own strings.
     --Ann Marion
          often quoted, unsourced, without further author identification

---

Christianity taught men that love is worth more than intelligence.
     --Jacques Maritain (1882-1973)

---

You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other
people than you know about yourself.
     --Beryl Markham (1903-1986)

---

Boar: Marriage is a tax shelter for a corporation that produces a
luxury good called children. . . .
Beatrix: A worse lie than marriage is love. . . . Love is the all-time
greatest lie. That's why people have to say it so often. To reinforce it.
The stuff you really mean you don't have to say.
     --Brit Marling [Brit Heyworth Marling](born 1982)
          Boar, unpublished screenplay excerpted in Esquire,
          Vol.160 No.5, December 2013, p.145

---

His looks do menace heaven and dare the gods.
     --Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593)
          Tamburlaine the Great, Part I, 1587 play
          I:2, Theridamas to Tamburlaine

---

I count religion but a childish toy,
And hold there is no sin but ignorance.
     --Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593)
          The Jew of Malta, c,1589 play
          spoken by Machevill, in the Prologue

---

He doesn't play hard to get. He plays hard to want.
     --Mike Marotta (born 1947)

---

If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently
and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve.
     --Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)

---

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if
you really make them think, they'll hate you.
     --Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)

---

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing
that's read by persons who move their lips when they're
reading to themselves.
     --Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)

---

One of the most important things to remember about infant care is:
Never change diapers in mid-stream.
     --Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)

---

An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
     --Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)

---

Felix: A penny for your thoughts?
Oscar: A dollar for your death.
     --Garry Marshall (born 1934)
        and Bob Brunner (born mid-XXth century)
        The Odd Couple, TV series, "That is the Army, Mrs Madison", 1973

---

Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to
stand for -- because unless we stand for something, we shall fall
for anything.
     --Peter Marshall (1902-1949)
        Chaplain of the United States Senate, 1947-1949
          the wording "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything."
          appears in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (online version,
          [not my book copy] https://www.lifesmith.com/Berkeley%20Teaching/
          The%20Oxford%20Dictionary%20Of%20Quotations.pdf) credited to
          Alex Hamilton [a British journalist](born 1936), "Born Old"
          (1978 radio broadcast) [transcribed in] Listener [magazine],
          9 November 1979; forms of the quote have been attributed in various
          media to: Ginger Rogers (1911-1995) in 1978; Malcolm X (1925-1965),
          who used it as a proverb in one of his speeches (date unknown);
          Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968); and even Rosa Parks
          (1913-2005), who, without claiming original authorship, said,
          "Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Today's mighty
          oak is yesterday's nut that held its ground." (date unknown).

---

Lord, when we are wrong, make us easy to change.
And when we are right, make us easy to live with.
     --Peter Marshall (1902-1949)
        Chaplain of the United States Senate, 1947-1949

---

If the First Amendment means anything, it means that a state has no
business telling a man, sitting alone in his own house, what books
he may read or what films he may watch. Our whole constitutional
heritage rebels at the thought of giving Government the power
to control men's minds.
     --Thurgood Marshall (1908-1993)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America, 1967-1991

---

Tomorrow's life is too late. Live today.
     --Martial [Marcus Valerius Martialis](40-c.103 CE)

---

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a
period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't
have to pay taxes, naturally no one wants to live any other way.
     --Judith Martin [Miss Manners](born 1938)

---

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy.
     --Steve Martin [Steven Glenn Martin](born 1945)

---

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
     --Chico Marx (1887-1961)

---

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child
of five.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Go! And never darken my towels again!
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          Duck Soup, 1933 film, as Rufus T. Firefly

---

Here's to our wives and girlfriends . . . may they never meet!
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I cannot say that I do not disagree with you.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I didn't like the play. But I saw it under unfavrable circumstances.
The curtains were up.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I intend to live forever -- or die trying.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your
bedroom window or outside your bedroom, period.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          unsourced

---

A man is as old as the woman he feels.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Now there's a man with an open mind -- you can feel the breeze from here!
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked
myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          Monkey Business, 1931 film

---

On the old You Bet Your Life program, Groucho Marx was
getting to know one of his contestants. The man told Groucho that
he had 10 children.
"Why so many children?" Groucho asked.
"Well, I love my wife", the man answered.
Groucho paused but a second, then said "I love my cigar but
I take it out of my mouth once in a while!"
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          You Bet Your Life, television program 1950-1961

---

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow
women.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Outside of a dog, books are a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          attributed in The Washington Post, 12 March 1989

---

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it
and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Room service? Send up a larger room.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          A Night at the Opera, 1935 film
          the actual line, as people are piling into the minuscule stateroom on
          board the ship bound for New York, is, "Tell Aunt Minnie to send up a
          bigger room, too, will ya?.", spoken by Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)
          to a woman who has come to the room to make a telephone call to her Aunt Minnie

---

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And
East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew them
like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
Now, uh. . . Now you tell me what you know.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
          Animal Crackers, 1930 film, as Capt Jeffrey Spaulding

---

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Whoever named it "necking" was a poor judge of anatomy.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

You're a woman who's been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can
clean and tighten your brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all
night.
     --Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)

---

Die Religion . . . ist das Opium des Volkes.
[Religion is the opium of the people.]
    full quote: Die Religion ist der Seufzer der bedrängten
        Kreatur, das Gemüt einer herzlosen Welt, wie sie der Geist
        geistloser Zustände ist. Sie ist das Opium des Volkes.
        [Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a
        heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is
        the opium of the people.]
     --Karl Marx [Karl Heinrich Marx](1818-1883)
          "Zur Kritik der Hegelschen Rechtsphilosophie" ["A criticism
          of the Hegelian philosophy of right"], Deutsch-Französische
          Jahrbücher, February 1844
              parody: The masses are the opium of religion.
                  --in John Peers. 1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound
                      Principles, Trusty Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful Corollaries,
                      Quotable Quotes, and RambunctiousRruminations for All Walks of Life.
                      Garden City NY: Doubleday & Company, p.128; the entry is labelled,
                      "Karl Marx's Afterthought"

---

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
     --Karl Marx (1818-1883)

---

And he who gives a child a treat
    Makes joy bells ring in Heaven's street.
And he who gives a child a home
    Builds palaces in kingdom come.
     --John Edward Masefield (1878-1967)
          "The Everlasting Mercy", in Poems by John Masefield.
          New York: The Macmillan Company, 1918, p.45

---

Once in a century a man may be ruined or made insufferable
by praise. But surely once in a minute something generous
dies for want of it.
     --John Edward Masefield (1878-1967)

---

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
     --Jackie Mason (born 1931)

---

Hamlet is the tragedy of tackling a family problem too soon after college.
     --Tom Masson (1866-1934)

---

You are young and have the world before you. Stoop as you go
through it, and you will miss many hard thumps.
     --Cotton Mather (1663-1728)
        advising Benjamin Franklin on humility

---

I would like to recapture that freshness of vision which is characteristic
of extreme youth when all the world is new to it.
     --Henri Matisse [Henri Emil Benua Matisse](1869-1954)

---

The dying process begins the minute we are born,
but it accelerates during dinner parties.
     --Carol Matthau [Carol Grace/Carol Marcus Saroyan](1924-2003)

---

I used to have a wife. Now I just lease.
     --Walter Matthau (1920-2000)

---

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
     --Gen. James N. Mattis (born 1950)
        United States Marine Corps

---

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

Impropriety is the soul of wit.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

The passing moment is all that we can be sure of; it is only common
sense to extract its utmost value from it; the future will one day
be the present and will seem as unimportant as the present does now.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)

---

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now an extinct race.
     --W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)
          The Bread-Winner, first produced at the Vaudeville Theatre, London,
          in 1930; the line is as quoted in The New York Times Theater Reviews,
          Volume 3, 1930, p.184

---

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
     --Bill Mauldin [William Henry Mauldin](1921-2003)
          Up Front. New York: H. Holt and Co., 1944

---

We owe to the middle ages the two worst inventions of humanity:
gunpowder and romantic love.
     --André Maurois (1885-1967)

---

From the top of the mountain you can see everything.
And everything can see you.
     --Taoist maxim

---

If you wish to lead, learn to follow.
     --Taoist maxim

---

It is easier to curse a candle than to light the darkness.
     --Taoist maxim

---

A physician heals. Nature makes well.
     --Taoist maxim

---

There is ugliness in the pursuit of beauty.
     --Taoist maxim

---

It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost
our way.
     --Rollo May (1909-1994)

---

National borders aren't even speed bumps on the information superhighway.
     --Tim May [Timothy C. May]](born mid-XXth century)
          from his internet (eMail) signature in archives c.1996

---

I don't think, therefore I am.
     --Rik Mayall [Richard Michael Mayall](1958-2014)
        and Peter Richardson (born 1951) and Pete Richens (born mid-XXth century)
          The Comic Strip Presents . . ., TV series, "A Fistful of Travellers'
          Cheques", 21 January 1984, spoken by Carlos (Rik Mayall)

---

However displeasing to the reader, let it be affirmed that all real
friendships between men have a sexual germ.
     --Xavier Mayne [Edward Irenaeus Prime-Stevenson] (1858-1942)
          The Intersexes. [Rome?: privately printed], 1908, Chapter III, p.36

---

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument.
     --William G. McAdoo (1863-1941)

---

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and
then says them about other people.
     --Peter McArthur (1866-1924)

---

Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
     --Charles McCabe (1915-1983)

---

There's a part of me that thinks perhaps we go on existing in a place
even after we've left it.
     --Colum McCann (born 1965)
          Let the Great World Spin. New York: Random House, 2009, p.305

---

It is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system
would see in our species -- which has tended to be cruel, destructive,
wasteful, and irrational -- the crown and apex of cosmic evolution.
Viewing us as the culmination of anything is grotesque; viewing us
as a transitional species makes more sense -- and gives us more hope.
     --Betty McCollister
          "Our Transitional Species", Free Inquiry Magazine,
          Volume 8 Number 1, Winter 1987/1988, p.55

---

The world belongs to the enthusiast who keeps cool.
     --William McFee (1881-1966)
        Casuals of the Sea: The Voyage of a Soul. New York: Doubleday, Page & Co.,
        1916, Book I: The Suburb, Chapter XIII

---

Did you ever notice that "two plus eleven" and "one plus twelve"
not only give the same result but use the same letters?
     --Dr Phil McGraw (born 1950)

---

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing
to be wrong.
     --Peter T. McIntyre

---

If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include
the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration
of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.
     --Terence McKenna [Terence Kemp McKenna](1946-2000)

---

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.
     --Dan McKinnon (born c.1955)

---

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.
     --Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)

---

I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad.
I wish it was easy to follow that advice. It is important to our
friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and
important to friendship that we are not.
     --Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)

---

Many are saved from sin by being so inept at it.
     --Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)

---

Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're
going to show.
     --Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)

---

What you can't get out of, get into wholeheartedly.
     --Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)

---

The more the data banks record about each one of us, the less we exist.
     --Marshall McLuhan [Herbert Marshall McLuhan, CC](1911-1980)
          Playboy, March 1969

---

The cow is nothing but a machine which makes
grass fit for us people to eat.
     --John McNulty (1895-1956)

---

Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a
very old human need.
     --Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

---

I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing was to add
to the sum of accurate information in the world.
     --Margaret Mead (1901-1978)
          New York Times, 9 August 1964

---

If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values,
we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so
weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse
human gift will find a fitting place.
     --Margaret Mead (1901-1978)
          Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies.
          New York: William Morrow & Co., 1935, p.322

---

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
     --Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

---

The Amish don't have the problems the native Americans do
because there is no Bureau of Amish affairs.
     --Russell Means [Russell Charles Means](1939-2012)

---

If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him
better, and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical
science can convince him that it may not have been the treatment that
restored his health.
     --Peter Medawar [Sir Peter Brian Medawar, OM, CBE, FRS](1915-1987)
          The Art of the Soluble. London: Methuen, 1958

---

If you don't shoot the fish in your barrel, your barrel will soon be
full of fish.
     --Tim Mefford

---

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
     --Golda Meir (1898-1978)
        Israeli Prime Minister, spoken to a visiting diplomat

---

It's not down in any map; true places never are.
     --Herman Melville (1819-1891)
          Moby Dick, or The White Whale. Boston: The St Botolph Society, 1892,
          Chapter XII, p.57

---

Do not videotape your child in the bathtub. Do not name your child
after a Scandinavian deity or any aspect of the weather.
     --Daniel Menaker (born 1941)

---

He only lives, who living, enjoys life.
     --Μενανδρος [Menander](c.341-c.290 BCE)

---

We live, not as we wish to, but as we can.
     --Μενανδρος [Menander](c.341-c.290 BCE)

---

Alimony is the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.65;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

At the bottom of Puritanism one finds envy of the fellow who is
having a better time in the world, and hence hatred of him. At the bottom
of democracy one finds the same thing. This is why all Puritans are
democrats and all democrats are Puritans.
    variants: There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of
        Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior
        capacity for happiness.
    A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is
        having fun.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.76
          (variants unsourced)

---

Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916,p.63;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be
married, too.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.61;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Ballot Box. The altar of democracy. The cult served upon it is the
worship of jackals by jackasses.
    variant: Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship
        of jackals by jackasses.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XI: The Jazz Webster, p.201; variant is unsourced

---

Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the
scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational
thinking. Not by accident does Genesis III make the father of knowledge a
serpent -- slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest days the
church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every effort
to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and
everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad
laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an
apologist for slavery, as it was apologist for the divine right of kings.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Its State Today", Chapter V in Treatise on the Gods.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1930/1946, p.260

---

Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.42;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
Three proofs of His humor: democracy, hay fever, any fat woman.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XI: The Jazz Webster, p.203; the "Three proofs" sentence
          is also found in A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane
          Company, 1916, p.43

---

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          widely attributed; unsourced

---

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          widely attributed; unsourced

---

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual
ignorance.
variant: I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual
    ignorance. --attributed to Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken] (1880-1956)
          "Notes on Journalism", Chicago Tribune, 19 September 1926

---

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the
monkey-cage.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949, p.622

---

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and
deserve to get it good and hard.
    variant: The American public knows what it wants, and deserves to
        get it good and hard.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.19

---

Every bright young man quickly learns that the moral mandates he is
taught by his official elders are largely nonsensical. It is impossible
to defend them in logic, and he can't help observing that many of them
are not followed in practise. Nothing is more likely to promote what
is commonly called immorality than the discovery that fundamental
moral values are false.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Minority Report: H.L. Mencken's Notebooks. New York: Alfred A.
          Knopf, 1956, Chapter 19

---

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the
black flag, and begin slitting throats.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Prejudices: First Series. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1919, Chapter 6:
          The New Poetry Movement, p.90

---

The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective
support, is really no evidence at all, for every recognizable emotion has
its opposite, and if one points one way then another points the other way.
Thus the familiar argument that there is an instinctive desire for
immortality, and that this desire proves it to be a fact, becomes puerile
when it is recalled that there is also a powerful and widespread fear of
annihilation, and that this fear, on the same principle, proves that there
is nothing beyond the grave. Such childish "proofs" are typically
theological, and they remain theological even when they are adduced
by men who like to flatter themselves by believing that they are
scientific gents.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Its State Today", Chapter V in Treatise on the Gods.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1930/1946, p.262

---

Evil is that which one believes of others.
It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949, p.617

---

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurence of the
improbable.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Prejudices: Third Series. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1922, Chapter 14:
          Types of Men - 3.The Believer, p.267

---

The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even
ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man - that is, virtuous in the
Y.M.C.A. sense - has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or
written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Prejudices: First Series. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1919,
          Chapter 16: The Blushful Mystery (Part 2: Art and Sex), p.198

---

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow
married her.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.68
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties,
the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy
folk are married women and single men.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949, p.619
          (NOTE: the saying appears in George Jean Nathan and H.L. Mencken, Editors.
          The Smart Set, Volume 39 [incorrectly (?) marked Vol. XXXVIII
          Number 5], January 1913, p.50 in an entry titled "Pertinent and
          Impertinent" by Owen Hatteras [pseudonym used by Mencken])

---

An Historian is an unsuccessful novelist.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.78;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Husband -- One who played safe and is now played safely. A No.16 neck
in a No.15-1/2 collar.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XI: The Jazz Webster, p.205;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XII: The Old Subject, Section 29, p.218;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply
because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't
want to meet them.
    parody: I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker,
        but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and
        don't want to smell them or their triple major not-admitted lesbian
        girlfriends.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          main quote widely attributed to Mencken; unsourced
          parody from en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/H._L._Mencken
          retrieved 2022.11.30

---

If the theological answer to all questions had ever actually prevailed in
the world the progress of the race would have come to an end, and there
would be no difference today between a good European and a good pygmy in
the African jungles. Everything that we are we owe to Satan and his
bootleg apples.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Its State Today", Chapter V in Treatise on the Gods.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1930/1946, p.266

---

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought
to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye
at some homely girl.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Epitaph", The Smart Set, December 1921

---

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XI: The Jazz Webster, p.205;

---

It is [a politician's] business to get and hold his job at all costs.
If he can hold it by lying, he will hold it by lying; if lying peters out,
he will try to hold it by embracing new truths. His ear is ever close
to the ground.
    variant: A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and
        yet keep both ears to the ground.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Notes on Democracy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf), 1926, Part II, p.99
          variant is widely attributed to Mencken, unsourced

---

It may be said with some confidence that the average man never really
thinks from end to end of his life. . . . The mental activity of such
people is only a mouthing of clichés. What they mistake for thought
is simply a repetition of what they have heard. My guess is that well
over eighty percent of the human race goes through life without ever
having a single original thought.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Minority Report: H.L. Mencken's Notebooks. New York: Alfred A.
          Knopf, 1956, p.10

---

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
        and George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
          Heliogabalus, A Buffoonery in Three Acts. New York: Alfred A. Knopf,
          1920, p.132, Act II, spoken by Heliogabalus to Lucia

---

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
        and George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
          Heliogabalus, A Buffoonery in Three Acts. New York: Alfred A. Knopf,
          1920, p.131, Act II, spoken by Heliogabalus to Lucia

---

A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.68;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness
to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "What I Believe", 1930, [re]published in S.T. Joshi, Editor.
          Mencken on Mencken: A New Collection of Autobiographical Writings.
          Baton Rouge: Louisiana State University Press, 2010, p.153

---

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.68
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the
palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life,
there is actually no truth to be discovered;
there is only error to be exposed.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
        New Republic, 29 September 1920, later published in
        Prejudices, Third Series, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1922

---

No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow
to see him commit suicide for her.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949, p.619

---

The notion that science does not concern itself with first causes -- that
it leaves that field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to
mere effects -- this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could,
science would explain the origin of life on earth at once -- and there is
every reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow.
To argue that the gaps in knowledge which still confront the seeker must be
filled, not by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply
to give ignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Its State Today", Chapter V in Treatise on the Gods.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1930/1946, p.261

---

The older I get, the more I admire and crave competence, just simple
competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          quoted by Alistair Cooke. Memories of the Great and the Good.
          New York: Arcade Publishing/Little, Brown & Company, 1999

---

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.59

---

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
the railroad yards.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Malone the victor, even though court sides with opponents, Mencken
          says", Evening Sun (Baltimore), 17 July 1925; Mencken was
          writing about William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters
          of Tennessee's anti-evolution law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.

---

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.41

---

There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
however marvellous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be
discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator
on his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is
even highly probable.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Its State Today", Chapter V in Treatise on the Gods.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1930/1946, pp.263-264

---

There's always a well-known solution to every human problem -- neat,
plausible, and wrong.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "The Divine Afflatus", New York Evening Mail, 16 November
          1917; also Prejudices: Second Series. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1919

---

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of
one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that
oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at
the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
    variant: The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one
        spends most of one's time defending sons-of-bitches.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
        unsourced in Mencken's works

---

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving
evidence at a coroner's inquest.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Book of Burlesques. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1916/1920,
          Chapter XII: The Old Subject, Section 12, p.215;
          also A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is
still running it? It is certainly perfectly conceivable that He may have
finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          Minority Report: H.L. Mencken's Notebooks. New York: Alfred A.
          Knopf, 1956, p.298

---

Wife: a former sweetheart.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Little Book in C Major. New York: John Lane Company, 1916, p.9

---

Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent rats.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          A Mencken Chrestomathy. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1949

---

The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is
often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no
limit to oppression.
     --H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          sourced by many to Minority Report: H.L. Mencken's Notebooks.
          New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1956, though text was not found in full-text
          version retrieved 2014.02.01.
          quoted in Atony Jay. The Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations.
          Oxford and New York: Oxford University Press, 1996

---

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.
     --Johnny Mercer [John Herndon Mercer](1909-1976)
        commenting on a British musical

---

The biggest human temptation is . . . to settle for too little.
     --Thomas Merton (1915-1968)
          Forbes Magazine, 4 August 1980

---

The world would be a better place when the last king
had been strangled with the guts of the last priest.
     --Jean Meslier (1664-1729)
          Testament, written in the last years before his death in 1729,
          Chapter 2.
          Versions of this quote are variously attributed to Voltaire (1694-1778),
          Percy Bysse Shelley (1792-1822), Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797-1851),
          and Denis Diderot (1713-1784)
              variant: With the guts of the last priest, let us strangle the
                  last king!

---

Frickin' girls. Yeah, if it wasn't for the soft skin, the legs,
the eyes, the long fingernails, the butts and the boobs, I wouldn't
even talk to 'em.
     --Gregg Mettler (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Celebration Day", 14 May 2003
          spoken by Michael Kelso (Ashton Kutcher)

---

It's not fair. . . . You teach your children how to walk, to use a fork,
to look both ways before crossing the street, and then one day you realize
all you're doing is teaching them how to leave [home]. We should never
have potty-trained him.
     --Gregg Mettler (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Celebration Day", 14 May 2003
          spoken by Kitty Forman (Debra Jo Rupp), after Eric's (Topher Grace)
          graduation as he is about to leave home

---

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
     --George Meyer (born 1956)
          The Simpsons, TV series, "Separate Vacations", 1992
          written on the blackboard by Bart Simpson (end of episode)

---

"Not good" is a galactic understatement.
     --Michael Michaelian
        and D.C. Fontana [Dorothy Catherine Fontana](born 1939)
          Star Trek: The Next Generation, TV series, "Too Short a Season", 1988
          spoken by Capt Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart)

---

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of
human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly
vulnerable. . . . We should be reluctant to turn back upon the
frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we
do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether
we grapple with it or not. But we cannot be indifferent to
space, because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought
us, in our generation, to a point from which we can explore and
understand and utilize it. To turn back now would be to deny
our history, our capabilities.
     --James A. Michener [James Albert Michener](1907-1997)
          from a statement in United States. Congress. Senate. Committee on
          Commerce, Science, and Transportation. Subcommittee on Science, Technology,
          and Space, 25 and 31 January, and 1 February 1979. Washington DC:
          U.S. Government Printing Office, 1979

---

I must be content to choose my friends amongst children,
who always see me at my best --- and what better friends
could I want?
     --Richard Barham Middleton (1882-1911)
          Journal entry for 18 May 1903, quoted in Henry Savage. Richard Middleton:
          The Man and His Work. London: Cecil Palmer, 1922, p.26
          [date of journal entry from Richard Middleton. "A Diary of Youth - Journal
          of a Clerk, in The Pantomime Man, and other stories. Holicong PA:
          Wildside Press, p.49]

---

"You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "but I
forgave you that doubt. You doubted your own self and failed to believe
in your own powers as a leader, and I forgave that also. But
you lost faith in these people and doubted the divine possibilities
of Human Nature. That loss of faith makes it impossible for
you to enter the Promised Land."
     --Midrash
          quoted in "The Nature of Man". Abraham Ezra Millgram, Editor.
          Great Jewish Ideas. Washington DC: B'nai B'rith, Department of
          Adult Jewish Education, 1964, Chapter 10, pp.165-181
          NOTE: many alternative explanations exist as to why Moses was not allowed
          to enter the Promised Land

---

All good things which exist are the fruits of originality.
     --John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

---

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives.
     --John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

---

If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of
the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing
that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in
silencing mankind.
     --John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)
          On Liberty. London: J.W. Parker and Son/New York: A.L. Burt, 1859

---

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and
degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that
nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing
for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than
his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of
being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men
than himself.
     --John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

---

He's a man out there in the blue, ridin' on a smile and a
shoeshine . . . a salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory.
     --Arthur Miller (1915-2005)
          The Death of a Salesman, first produced at the Morosco Theatre,
          New York City, 10 February 1949, spoken by Charlie

---

The word now is like a bomb through the window, and it ticks.
     --Arthur Miller (1915-2005)

---

You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it.
     --Ashley Edward Miller (born 1971)
          and Zack Stentz, screenwriters, Andromeda, TV series, "Lava and
          Rockets", 2002, spoken by Major Korgo Korgar, "Last of the Lancers"

---

America has the attention span of a ferret on double espresso.
     --Dennis Miller (born 1953)

---

Be kind to your children, because not only are they the future of the
world, they're also the ones who can eventually sign you into the home.
     --Dennis Miller (born 1953)

---

The reason that justice is blind is because lawyers have been jerking it
off all the time.
     --Dennis Miller (born 1953)

---

These televangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination,
but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties . . .
     --Dennis Miller (born 1953)

---

What about that abortion doctor killed by pro-life activists?
In their own terminolgy, they aborted a fetus in the 200th trimester!
     --Dennis Miller (born 1953)

---

I am mentally surrounding with love
every person I see or am thinking about.
I consciously, and to the best of my ability,
allow approval to replace condemnation,
let appreciation absorb and eliminate criticism.
I know that the other person is doing his best
AS HE SEES THINGS,
and that peaceful relationships between us
must begin with me.
I know God's Presence in me,
and I also know God's Presence in him.
This inner Presence
of Love and Wisdom
reaches out to heal and to bless.
     --Dr Roger E. Miller (born c.1921)
          Minister, Church of Religious Science

---

Every genuine boy is a rebel and an anarch. If he were allowed to
develop according to his own instincts, his own inclinations,
society would undergo such a radical transformation as to make
the adult revolutionary cower and cringe.
     --Henry Miller (1891-1980)
          The Books in My Life. Norfolk CT: New Directions/London: Peter Owen,
          1952, Chapter 4

---

Laws are only words words written on paper, words that change on society's
whim and are interpreted differently daily by politicians, lawyers, judges,
and policemen. Anyone who believes that all laws should always be
obeyed would have made a fine slave catcher. Anyone who believes that
all laws are applied equally, despite race, religion, or economic status,
is a fool.
     --John J. Miller [John Joseph Miller](born 1970)
          "And Hope to Die", in Jokertown Shuffle - Wild Cards IX.
          New York: Bantam Books, 1991

---

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you
could know how seldom they do.
     --Olin Miller (1918-2002)

---

Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light.
    variant: There is a crack in everything. That's how the light
    gets in.
     --Spike Milligan [Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan KBE](1918-2002)

---

The weather was foul, or perhaps, duck.
     --Spike Milligan [Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan KBE](1918-2002)

---

We like someone because.
We love someone although.
     --Henri Marie Joseph Frédéric Expedite Millon de Montherlant (1895-1972)

---

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
     --A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)
          Winnie the Pooh. London: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1926

---

"It's today!" said Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.
     --A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)
          Winnie The Pooh. London: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1926

---

No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it
was human nature.
     --A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)

---

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly
making exciting discoveries.
     --A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)
          Winnie The Pooh. London: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1926

---

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last,
"what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh.
"What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
said Piglet.
    Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.
     --A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)
          Winnie The Pooh. London: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1926

---

Beneath him with new wonder now he views
To all delight of human sense expos'd
In narrow room Nature's whole wealth, yea more,
A Heaven on earth, for blissful Paradise
Of God the Garden was, by him in the East
Of Eden planted.
     --John Milton (1608-1674)
          Paradise Lost, 1667/1674, Book IV

---

The childhood shows the man as morning shows the day.
     --John Milton (1608-1674)
          Paradise Regained (1671), Book IV, lines 220-221
          spoken by Satan, to Christ atop the mountain
            more complete quote:
                And thou thyself seemst otherwise inclined
                Than to a worldly crown, addicted more
                To contemplation and profound dispute,
                As by that early action may be judged,
                When slipping from thy mother's eye thou went'st
                Alone into the temple; there was found
                Among the gravest rabbis disputant
                On points and questions fitting Moses' chair,
                Teaching, not taught; the childhood shows the man
                As morning shows the day. Be famous then
                By wisdom; as thy empire must extend,
                So let extend thy mind o'er all the world,
                In knowledge, all things in it comprehend.

---

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n.
     --John Milton (1608-1674)
          Paradise Lost, 1667/1674, Book I, lines 254-255

---

If we can not trust a freeman with his right to keep and bear arms,
then how can we trust him with the right to vote? Surely the right
of a freeman to vote has a much greater effect on our collective
lives than does any individual's firearm. If one argues that the
effect of any one freeman's vote is minimal, then why allow it
in the first place? To be armed is to secure one's right
to representation.
     --Thomas Mincher

---

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good.
It would be the end of everything we know.
     --Marvin Minsky [Marvin Lee Minsky](born 1927)
          quoted in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.607

---

Although He's regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in
American politics, and in America disagreement with the policies of
the government is not evidence of lack of patriotism.
     --George Mitchell [George John Mitchell Jr](born 1933)
        United States Senator (D-Maine), 1980-1995
          statement during the United States Congress's Iran-Contra hearings,
          13 July 1987, in response to the testimony of Col. Oliver North

---

Most nations derive from a single tribe, a single race. They practice
a single religion. Common racial, ethnic, religious heritages are the
glue of nationhood for many. The United States is different. We have
all races, all religions. We have a limited common heritage. The glue
of nationhood for us is the American Ideal of individual liberty and
equal justice.


The rule of law is critical in our society. It's the great equalizer,
because in America everybody is equal before the law. We must never
allow the end to justify the means where the law is concerned.
     --George Mitchell [George John Mitchell Jr](born 1933)
        United States Senator (D-Maine), 1980-1995
          statement during the United States Congress's Iran-Contra hearings,
          13 July 1987, in response to the testimony of Col. Oliver North,
          reported in The Christian Science Monitor, Volume 79 Number 161,
          15 July 1987

---

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Til it's gone.
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot.
     --Joni Mitchell (born 1943)
          "Big Yellow Taxi", 1970

---

Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.
We take what we get and are thankful it's no worse than it is.
     --Margaret Mitchell (1900-1949)
          Gone With the Wind. New York: Macmillan, 1936, Chapter 53.
          spoken by [George] Ashley Wilkes

---

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
     --T.F. Mitchell (fl. early XXth century)
          George Jean Nathan and H.L. Mencken, Editors. The Smart Set,
          Volume 70 Number 1, January 1923, p.130

---

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
     --Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

---

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
     --Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

---

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while
he gets to know something.
     --Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

---

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
     --Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

---

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor,
unassisted.
     --Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

---

The Doctor: Who am I to argue with history?
Rose Tyler: Usually the first in line.
     --Steven Moffatt (born 1961)
          Doctor Who, TV series, "The Doctor Dances", 2005

---

To live without loving is not really to live.
     --Jean Baptiste Poquelin Moliere (1622-1673)

---

JUDD
Your Honor, it is my feeling that blame for the injury to Officer
Morley must be shared by many, many persons -- including myself.
My fault is that I forgot a principle which goes something like this . . .
(beat)
When people are oppressed, they may be content to suffer in silence . . .
they may bow to their fate . . . as long as there is no hope of better
things. But. Let that hope be born, let them catch a glimpse of
freedom . . . and these same, passive people will strive to reach it
with all the strength they possess!.
(beat)
This was the case with Jesse Aarons. For six years Jesse endured the
oppression of unjust imprisonment. Then, somehow he found the hope that
I could help him, and he made his way to me. And I fed that hope, with
careless words.
(beat)
Do I condone his violence? I do not. But I feel that I understand what
caused it. And I believe that the jury which will try Jesse Aarons must
also understand him, before they can deal with him rightfully.
     --Paul Monash (1917-2003)
          Judd for the Defense, 20th Century Fox TV series, "Committment",
          28 Sep 1967, spoken by Clinton Judd (Carl Betz)

---

Grief is a sword, or it is nothing.
     --Paul Monette [Paul Landry Monette](1945-1995)
          "3275", in Last Watch of the Night.
          New York: Harcourt Brace, 1994

---

One learns to love not by instruction but by being loved.
     --Ashley Montagu [Montague Francis Ashley-Montagu/Israel Ehrenberg] (1905-1999)
          Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin. New York:
          Columbia University Press, 1971, p.31
          k2.main.love.development.child-rearing.age11.age15.

---

Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
without any proof.
     --Ashley Montagu [Montague Francis Ashley-Montagu/Israel Ehrenberg] (1905-1999)
          quoted in E. Graydon Carter, "On the Record", Time
          Magazine, Volume 118, 21 September 1981

---

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
Celebrate it every day.
     --sometimes attributed to Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
        also sometimes attributed to Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

---

Lend yourself to others.
Give yourself to yourself.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)

---

Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by
the dozen.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)

---

Stability itself is nothing but a more languid motion.
    variant: Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
          "Of Repentance", from Essais [Essays], 1595
          reprinted in J.B. Schneewind, Editor. Moral Philosophy from Montaigne
          to Kant. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2003, p.45

---

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)

---

There is no hostility that excels Christian hostility. . . . Our religion
is made to extirpate vices; it covers them, fosters them, incites them.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
        Donald M. Frame (Translator). The Complete Essays of Montaigne.
        Stanford CA: Stanford University Press, 1943/1958, p.324, "Apology for
        Raymond Sebond", referring to the St Bartholomew Wars of 1562-1594

---

There were never in the world two opinions alike, any more than two hairs
or two grains. The most universal quality is diversity.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
          Essais [Essays], 1580, Book II, Chapter 37

---

We are not here to bring the love we bear to women . . . into comparison,
nor rank it with the others. . . . In the friendship I speak of, [the
friends] mix and work themselves into one piece, with so universal a
mixture, that there is no more sign of the seam . . . being no other than
one soul in two bodies (according to that very proper definition of
Aristotle) . . . this perfect friendship I speak of is indivisible.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
          "De L'Amitié" ["Of Friendship"], Essais Livre I
          [Essays Book I], 1580, Chapter XXVII [English translation by Charles
          Cotton, 1877];
              related idea: Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he
                  loved him as himself. (1 Samuel XVIII:1, KJV) . . . I am distressed for
                  thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy
                  love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. (2 Samuel I:26, KJV)

---

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.
     --Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)

---

Staying young in your life has nothing to do with
trying to stay young in your face.
     --Yves Montand (1921-1991)

---

Physical intimacies are but surface emotions, forgotten as soon as they
are satisfied, whereas spiritual intimacies live in the heart; they are
part of our eternal life and seem to reach beyond the stars.
     --George Moore [George Augustus Moore](1852-1933)
          Sister Teresa. London: T. Fisher Unwin, 1901, Chapter VII

---

We live in our desires rather than in our achievements.
     --George Moore [George Augustus Moore](1873-1958)

---

When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself, um, because I felt
weird and I felt different, and I felt like I did not belong. And
now I'm standing here, and so I would like for this moment to
be for that kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different
or she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes you do. I promise you do. You do.
Stay weird. Stay different, and then when it's your turn and you are
standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person
who comes along.
     --Graham Moore (born 1981)
          accepting the Oscar® for Best Adapted Screenplay at the
          87th Annual Academy Awards, 22 February 2015, for his script
          for The Imitation Game, from the book Alan Turing: The Enigma
          (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1983) by Andrew Hodges

---

Ecstasy affords the occasion and
expediency determines the form.
     --Marianne Moore (1887-1972)
          "So Far as The Future is Concerned", in Others, Volume 1
          Number 6, December 1915, later re-named "The Past is the Present",
          appearing in Moore's book Observations. New York: The Dial Press, 1924

---

I May, I Might, I Must


If you will tell me why the fen
appears impassable, I then
will tell you why I think that I
can get across it if I try.
     --Marianne Moore (1887-1972)
          "I May, I Might, I Must", 1909, in O To Be a Dragon.
          New York: Viking Press, 1959

---

My passion . . . for the young is a passion for the
whole of life at its very freshest. Not the customary
passion for a 'person', a single human being, but for the
living abstraction of the physical, the fresh, the bursting
young, before single identity has appeared.
     --Frank Moorhouse (born 1938)
          The Everlasting Secret Family. Sydney: Angus and Robertson, 1980

---

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
     --Jeanne Moreau (born 1928)

---

From the moment you're born, you're an apprenticed "old age
pensioner".
     --Eric Morecambe [John Eric Bartholomew](1926-1984)
          The Morecambe and Wise Show, TV series, 14 January 1970
          (NOTE: Old age pensioner, or OAP, is a period of life in Britain
          generally referred to elsewhere as "retirement".)

---

. . . as the life style of the Space Age grows more inter-disciplinary,
it will be harder for the "one-track" mind to survive. . . .
I see simultaneous intake, multiple-awareness, and synthesized
comprehension as inevitable, long before the year 2000 A.D.
     --Barbara Morgan (1900-1990)
          "My creative experience with photomontage".
          Image 14:20, December 1971

---

All enchantments die; only cowards die with them.
     --Charles Morgan [Charles Langbridge Morgan](1894-1958)
          The Fountain. London: MacMillan/New York: Knopf, 1932

---

Day in the Morning


The day has come
when something must
be done
about me. I am
the one to do it.


The day has come
and I am moved by
its loyalty -- it
came yesterday too


and the day before


me is me
am me --
well, I'll be . . . !
     --David Watts Morgan (1867-1933)

---

A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly
and vainly as the train goes by.
     --Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)

---

People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves
so much faster, that we are thinking faster, too.
     --Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)

---

There is only one success:
to be able to spend your life in your own way.
     --Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)
          Where the Blue Begins. New York: Grosset & Dunlop, 1922
          used in a VISA (credit card) television commercial, 17 October 1982

---

When you sell a man a book you don't sell him just twelve ounces of
paper and ink and glue -- you sell him a whole new life. Love and
friendship and humour and ships at sea by night -- there's all
heaven and earth in a book. . . . That's what this country needs --
more books!
     --Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)
          Parnassus on Wheels. Garden City NY: Doubleday, Page & Company, 1917

---

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to
examine the laws of heat.
     --John Morley [1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn](1838-1923)

---

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
     --John Morley [1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn](1838-1923)
          Rousseau. London: Chapman and Hall/New York: D. Appleton and Co.,
          1873

---

When you're going to lie, lie. Don't screw around.
     --Dick Morris (born 1948)

---

The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
     --Jim Morrison [James Douglas Morrison](1943-1971)
        and other members of The Doors
          "Roadhouse Blues", from The Doors album Morrison Hotel, 1970

---

Definitions belong to the definers -- not the defined.
     --Toni Morrison (born 1931)
          Beloved. New York: Alfred Knopf, 1987

---

I'm a controversial figure. My friends either dislike me or hate me.
     --Toni Morrison (born 1931)

---

Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its
opponents blame it for the drought.
     --Dwight Morrow [Dwight Whitney Morrow](1873-1931)

---

Who Walks With Beauty


Who walks with Beauty has no need of fear:
The sun and moon and stars keep pace with him;
Invisible hands restore the ruined year,
And time itself grows beautifully dim.
One hill will keep the footprints of the moon
That came and went a hushed and secret hour;
One star at dusk will yield the lasting boon:
Remembered beauty's white, immortal flower.


Who takes of Beauty wine and daily bread,
Will know no lack when bitter years are lean;
The brimming cup is by, the feast is spread;
The sun and moon and stars his eyes have seen,
Are for his hunger and the thirst he slakes:
The wine of Beauty and the bread he breaks.
     --David Morton (1886-1957)
          in Ships in Harbour. New York and London: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1921, p.56

---

It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may
live as you wish.
     --Mother Teresa of Calcutta [born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu](1910-1997)

---

One filled with joy preaches without preaching.
     --Mother Teresa of Calcutta [born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu](1910-1997)

---

ts.The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than
the hunger for bread.
     --Mother Teresa of Calcutta [born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu](1910-1997)
          quoted in Time, 4 December 1989

---

If the nation's economists were laid end to end, they would point in all
directions.
     --Arthur H. 'Red' Motley (1900-1984)

---

When a person goes to a country and finds their newspapers filled
with nothing but good news, he can bet there are good men in jail.
    variant: If the newspapers of a country are filled with good news,
    the jails will be filled with good people.
     --Daniel Patrick Moynihan (1927-2003)

---

The most dangerous creation in the world in any society is the man
with nothing to lose. You do not need ten such men to change
the world. One will do.
     --Elijah Muhammad [Elijah Robert Poole](1897-1975)
        Letter to Malcolm X (1925-1965) in prison, c.1950

---

The ink of the scholar is holier than the blood of the martyr.
     --Prophet Muhammad [Abu al-Qasim Muhammad ibn 'Abd Allah ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib ibn Hashim](c.570-632)

---

A man's true wealth is the good he does in the world.
     --Prophet Muhammad [Abu al-Qasim Muhammad ibn 'Abd Allah ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib ibn Hashim](c.570-632)

---

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.
     --John Muir [John of the Mountains](1838-1914)
          The Yosemite, 1912, p.256
          extended quote: Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places
              to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to
              body and soul alike.

---

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
     --Martin Mull (born 1943)

---

I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents
become better people as a result of practicing it.
     --Joe Mullally
          quoted in usenet forums, unsourced, attributed to Mullally, who is usually
          described as a "computer salesman"

---

Your whole life society tells you, like 'oh, be a man, and you're
strong and you're tough and margaritas are gay' you know, like, you know,
you don't grow up thinking that's the way you are. When you're a kid, you
just do, you just act, and then somewhere along the line, everyone loses
that.
     --Zack Mulligan (born late XXth century)
          Minding the Gap, 2018 documentary film
          skateboard enthusiast talking about becoming a man in American society

---

You'll never be able to speak against sin if you're entertained by it.
     --John Muncee
          quoted in Ken Raggio. Truth in a Nutshell: 2,000+ Christian Quotes
          Affirming the Biblical Way of Life. self-published, 2012

---

I would not cast off my illness, for there is much in my art that I
owe to it.
     --Edvard Munch (1863-1944)
        probably referring to his anxiety disorder/neurosis, at the time called a
        "nervous breakdown", for which he was hospitalized in 1908-1909

---

Children are given to us to discourage our better emotions.
     --H.H. Munro [Saki](1870-1916)

---

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
     --H.H. Munro [Saki](1870-1916)

---

You can't expect a boy to be depraved until he has been to a good school.
     --H.H. Munro [Saki](1870-1916)

---

A bad review is even less important than whether it is raining
in Patagonia.
     --Iris Murdoch (1919-1999)

---

Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
     --Edward R. Murrow [Egbert Roscoe Murrow](1908-1965)

---

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason if we remember that
we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to
speak, to associate and to defend causes which were, for the moment,
unpopular.
     --Edward R. Murrow [Egbert Roscoe Murrow](1908-1965)

---

There is no way to peace.
Peace is the way.
     --A.J. Muste [Abraham Johannes Muste](1885-1967)
          quoted in "Debasing Dissent", New York Times, 16 November 1967, p.46; also widely
          attributed (with slight variations) to Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)

---

Life is a great surprise. I do not see why death should not be an even
greater one.
     --Vladimir Nabokov [Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov](1899-1977)
          Pale Fire. London: Weidenfeld and Nicholson, 1962
          spoken by John Shade

---

The function of a poet is not to be merely isolated in an ivory tower
of dreams set in a garden of roses, but his place is with the people:
in the dust of the highways, in the difficulties of the battle is the
poets destiny.
     --Sarojini Naidu [Sarojini Chattopadhyaya](1879-1949)
          Address delivered at Conjeevaram as President of the Madras Provincial
          Conference, 1917

---

Children aren't happy without something to ignore
And that's what parents were created for.
     --Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

---

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps,
unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
     --Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

---

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't
what they want that they really don't want it.
     --Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

---

Too clever is dumb.
     --Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

---

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
     --Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

---

Politicians


The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves,
only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that
there may be something to them we are missing.
     --Gamel Abdel Nasser (1918-1970)
        2nd president of Egypt, 1956-1970

---

Athletic sports, save in the case of young boys, are designed for idiots.
     --George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
          Living Philosophies. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1931

---

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
     --George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
          quoted in Clifton Fadiman. The American Treasury, 1455-1955.
          New York: Harper, 1955, p. 344. Unverified in Nathan's works.

---

I drink to make other people interesting.
     --George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
        and H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
          "Répétition Générale", The Smart Set,
          April 1923, Section 5 ("Notes from an Unwritten Autobiography"), p.35

---

Patriotism, as I see it, is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate
above principles.
     --George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
        widely attributed; unsourced

---

GREAT SPIRIT ---


Grant that I may not
criticize my neighbor
until I have walked a mile
in his moccasins.
     --Native American prayer

---

Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.
     --Native American saying

---

Remember: While the Ark was built by amateurs, it was professionals who
built the Titanic.
     --Richard Needham [Richard Francis Needham, 6th Earl of Kilmorey Kt, PC](born 1942)
        Member of Parliament (Great Britain), 1979-1997

---

I would challenge everyone and anyone to fill their days with creating
something that's going to help themselves get to the next moment, to the
next hour, to the next day, to the next week, so that by the end of this
experience we've created this beautiful document that shows where we've
been, who we are, and how we're going to move forward.
     --Kadir Nelson (born 1974)
          CBS Sunday Morning, 19 April 2020
          discussing his painting, "After the Storm", executed
          during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic

---

Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software
than learning to touch-type has to do with writing poetry.
     --Ted Nelson (born 1937)

---

Software is best understood as a branch of movie making.
     --Ted Nelson (born 1937)

---

Nobody believes the official spokesman but everybody trusts an unidentified
source.
     --Ron Nessen [Ronald Harold Nessen](born 1934)
        White House Press Secretary (Gerald Ford administration), 1974-1977

---

Steven Hyde [Danny Masterson]: When you're deeply, truly happy,
    it's a sure sign you're doing everything wrong.
Michael Kelso [Ashton Kutcher]: The misery is how God lets you know
    you're on track.
     --Kristin Newman (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "I'm a Boy", 7 January 2004

---

If I have seen farther than others,
it is because I was standing
on the shoulders of giants.
     --Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)

---

Some people, when they have a problem, think "I know, I'll
use Calculus".
Now they have two problems.
     --Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)

---

Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete
and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and
report: "There's a naked person outside!"
     --Mike Nichols
        columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram (Texas)
          "The Demi Test: Different people see different things on the cover
          of the new Vanity Fair", Spokane Chronicle, 25 July 1991, p.D6

---

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that
English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow
words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways
to beat them unconscious and riffle their pockets for new vocabulary.
     --James D. Nicoll (born 1961)

---

All human sin seems so much worse in its consequences than in its
intentions.
     --Reinhold Niebuhr [Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr](1892-1971)

---

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.
     --Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) in a 1943 sermon
        though the idea clearly was circulating in oral form before his 1943 sermon
            parody (of the popular version): God grant me the senility
                to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember
                the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

---

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me
    and there was no one left to speak out for me.
     --attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)

---

. . . And only when ye have all denied me,
will I return unto you. Verily, with other eyes,
my brethren, shall I then seek my lost ones;
with another love shall I then love you.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885
          I - "The Bestowing Virtue"

---

But the loving one loveth irrespective
of reward and requital.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:66

---

Christianity is called the religion of pity. Pity stands opposed
to the tonic emotions which heighten our vitality: it has a depressing
effect. We are deprived of strength when we feel pity. That loss of
strength which suffering as such inflicts on life is still further
increased and multiplied by pity. Pity makes suffering contagious.
    common paraphrase: Christianity makes suffering contagious.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Der Antichrist [The Antichrist], 1888/1895, Section 7;
          reprinted in Walter Kaufmann, Translator. The Portable Nietzsche.
          London: Chatto & Windus, 1971, pp.572-573

---

Der christliche Entschluss, die Welt hässlich und schlecht zu
finden, hat die Welt hässlich und schlecht gemacht.
[The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world
ugly and bad.]
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Die fröhliche Wissenschaft [The Joyful Science].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner/New York: E. Steige, 1882, Section 130
          (NOTE: this title is often translated as The Gay Science, which
          can be confusing to modern readers)

---

Did you notice the absence in heaven [of] all the interesting people?
    variant: In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Daniel Fider Ferrer, Translator. Nietzsche's Notebook of 1887-1888.
          Google eBook, June 2012, books.google.com/books?id=XdNGL7BbZZ4C, retrieved
          2014-05-28. Notebook W II:153, p.45, part of Kritische Gesamtausgabe:
          Werke. Berlin: De Gruyter, 1967

---

Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful! . . .
Distrust all those who talk much of their justice! Verily, in their
souls not only honey is lacking.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, I:29 "The
          Tarantulas"

---

For must there not be that which is danced over,
danced beyond? Must there not, for the sake of
the nimble, the nimblest -- be moles and clumsy dwarfs?
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:56.2

---

For once more will I go unto men: amongst them
will my sun set; in dying I will give them my choicest
gift! From the sun did I learn this when it goeth down,
the exuberant one; gold doth it then pour into the sea,
out of inexhaustible riches --- so that the poorest
fisherman roweth even with golden oars.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:56.3

---

Glaubt es mir! -- das Geheimnis, um die größte Fruchtbarkeit und den
größten Genuß vom Dasein einzuernten, heißt: gefährlich leben!
[Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the
greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!]
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Die fröhliche Wissenschaft [The Joyful Science].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner/New York: E. Steige, 1882. Section 283
          (NOTE: this book title is often translated as The Gay Science, which
          can be confusing to modern readers)

---

He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a
monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into
thee.
    variant: Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the
        process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an
        abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Jenseits von Gut und Böse: Vorspiel einer Philosophie der Zukunft
          [Beyond Good and Evil: Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future].
          Leipzig: A. Kröner Verlag, 1885; authorized English translation by
          Helen Zimmern. New York: The Macmillan Company, 1907; quotation is
          No.146 in "Apophthegms and Interludes", p.97

---

The higher we soar, the smaller we seem to those who cannot fly.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Morgenröte: Gedanken über die moralischen Vorurteile
          [Daybreak (Dawn): Reflections on Moral Prejudice].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1881, Book V, Aphorism 574;
          English translation by J.M. Kennedy. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1911

---

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)

---

I love the brave: but it is not enough to be a
swordsman -- one must also know whereon to use
swordsmanship. And often it is greater bravery to keep
quiet and pass by, that thereby one may reserve oneself for
a worthier foe.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:56.21

---

If ye would go up high, then use your own legs!
Do not get yourselves carried aloft; do not
seat yourselves on other peoples backs and heads.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:73.10

---

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, I:18

---

In large states public education will be mediocre, for the same reason
that in large kitchens, the cooking is usually bad.
    variant: The school system is always very mediocre in great
        states, for the same reason that cooking is mediocre in great kitchens.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für freie Geister
          [Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits], 1878
          [from Sämtliche Werke, Kritische Studienausgabe, Volume 2],
          "A Glance at the State", Section 467. English translation by Gary
          Handwerk. Stanford [Palo Alto] CA: Stanford University Press, 1995, p.197

---

Insanity in individuals is something rare -- but in groups, parties,
nations, and epochs it is the rule.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Jenseits von Gut und Böse: Vorspiel einer Philosophie der Zukunft
          [Beyond Good and Evil: Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future].
          Leipzig: A. Kröner Verlag, 1885; authorized English translation by
          Helen Zimmern. New York: The Macmillan Company, 1907; quotation is
          No.156 in "Apophthegms and Interludes", p.98

---

Many a man fails to become a thinker only because his memory is too good.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für freie Geister
          [Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits], Volume 2,
          Vermischte Meinungen und Sprüche [Assorted Opinions and
          Maxims], 1879, Section 122. English translation by R.J. Hollingdale.
          Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1986/1996, p.241

---

O brethren, I consecrate you and point you to a new nobility:
ye shall become procreators and cultivators and sowers of the future.
Verily, not to a nobility which ye could purchase like traders
with traders' gold; for little worth is all that hath its price.
Let it not be your honor henceforth whence ye come, but
whither ye go! Your Will and your feet which seek to
surpass you -- let these be your new honor!
. . .
O my brethren, not backward shall your nobility gaze, but outward!
Exiles shall ye be from all fatherlands and forefatherlands!
Your children's land shall ye love: let this love be your new
nobility, -- the undiscovered in the remotest seas! For it do I
bid your sails search and search!
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:56.12

---

Ohne Musik wäre das Leben ein Irrtum.
[Without music life would be a mistake.]
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert
          [Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize With a Hammer].
          Leipzig: C.G. Naumann, 1888, "Maxims and Arrows", 33; English
          translation, published with a translation of Nietzsche's Der Antichrist
          [The Anti-Christ] (1888/1895), by R.J. Hollingdale. Harmondsworth:
          Penguin Books, 1971

---

One must be above mankind in strength, in loftiness of soul -- in
contempt. . . . modernity was our sickness: lazy peace, cowardly
compromise . . . Let me leave no doubt as to what I despise, whom I
despise: it is the man of today, the man with whom I am fatefully
contemporaneous. . . . My attitude to the past, like that of all lovers
of knowledge, is one of great tolerance, that is, magnanimous
self-mastery: with gloomy caution I go through the madhouse world of whole
millennia, whether it be called "Christianity," "Christian
faith," or "Christian church" . . . but my feeling changes,
breaks out, as soon as I enter modern times, our time. Our time
knows better. What was formerly just sick is today indecent -- it
is indecent to be a Christian today.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Der Antichrist [The Antichrist], 1888/1895
          reprinted in Walter Kaufmann, Translator. The Portable Nietzsche.
          London: Chatto & Windus, 1971, pp.569-611

---

[One should] die proudly if it is no longer possible to live proudly.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert
          [Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize With a Hammer].
          Leipzig: C.G. Naumann, 1888, "Skirmishes of an Untimely Man", 36;
          English translation by Duncan Large. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1998, p.37

---

Plato . . . is . . . a first-rate decadent in style. . . . Plato is
boring.
  variant: Plato was a bore.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert
          [Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize With a Hammer].
          Leipzig: C.G. Naumann, 1888, "What I Owe to the Ancients" 2,
          English translation by Walter Kaufmann, in The Portable Nietzsche.
          London: Chatto & Windus, 1971, p.557

---

Set around you small, good, perfect things,
ye higher men. Their golden maturity healeth
the heart. The perfect teacheth one to hope.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:73.15

---

So unlearn, I pray you, the sorrow-sighing, and all
the populace-sadness! Oh, how sad the buffoons
of the populace seem to me today! This today,
however, is that of the populace.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:73.19

---

That faith makes blessed under certain circumstances, that blessedness does
not make of a fixed idea a true idea, that faith moves no mountains
but puts mountains where there are none: a quick walk through a
madhouse enlightens one sufficiently about this.
    most-common paraphrase: A casual stroll through the lunatic
        asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Der Antichrist [The Antichrist], 1888/1895, Section 51;
          reprinted in Walter Kaufmann, Translator. The Portable Nietzsche.
          London: Chatto & Windus, 1971, p.632

---

These Dionysiac stirrings which, as they grow in intensity, cause
subjectivity to vanish to the point of complete self-forgetting,
awaken either under the influence of narcotic drink, of which all
human beings and peoples who are close to the origin of things speak
in their hymns, or at the approach of spring when the whole of nature
is pervaded by lust for life. . . .


Not only is the bond between human beings renewed by the magic of the
Dionysiac, but nature, alienated, inimical, or subjugated, celebrates
once more her festival of reconciliation with her son, humankind.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Die Geburt der Tragödie [The Birth of Tragedy], 1872/1886
          quoted in Raymond Geuss and Ronald Speirs, Editors. Nietzsche: The Birth
          of Tragedy and Other Writings. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press,
          1999, pp.17-18, English translation by Ronald Spiers

---

To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so
many fail to assert rights to which they are perfectly entitled,
because a right is a kind of power but they are too lazy or too
cowardly to exercise it. The virtues which cloak these faults are
called patience and forbearance.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für freie Geister
          [Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits], Volume 2, Part 2,
          Der Wanderer und sein Schatten [The Wanderer and his Shadow], 1880
          Section 251. English translation by R.J. Hollingdale.
          Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1986/1996, p.371

---

Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.
[What does not destroy (kill) me makes me stronger.]
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert
          [Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize With a Hammer].
          Leipzig: C.G. Naumann, 1888, "Maxims and Arrows", 8; English
          translation, published with a translation of Nietzsche's Der Antichrist
          [The Anti-Christ] (1888/1895), by R.J. Hollingdale. Harmondsworth:
          Penguin Books, 1971
              modern parody: What doesn't kill us makes us bitter.
                  --Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #393, 8 October 2012, and the title of
                      his book, published in 2012 by the Dharma-Greg Foundation

---

What hath hitherto been the greatest sin
here on earth? Was it not the word of him
who said: "Woe unto them that laugh now!"
Did he himself find no cause for laughter
on the earth? Then he sought badly. A child
even findeth cause for it.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:73.16

---

What really arouses indignation against suffering is not suffering as such
but the senselessness of suffering.
    variant: It is not so much the suffering as the senselessness of
        it that is unendurable.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Zur Genealogie der Moral: Eine Streitschrift [On the Genealogy of
          Morality: A Polemic], 1887, English translation by Carol Diethe.
          Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1994, p.44

---

What? Is man just one of God's mistakes? Or is God just one of man's?
    variant: Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God
        one of man's?
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert
          [Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize With a Hammer].
          Leipzig: C.G. Naumann, 1888, "Maxims and Arrows", 7; English
          translation by Duncan Large. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1998

---

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego".
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

Where one can no longer love,
there should one -- pass by!
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:51

---

Woman was God's second mistake.
    more complete quote: God . . . takes a stroll in his garden;
        but he is bored. . . . What does he do? He invents man -- man is
        entertaining. But lo and behold! Man too is bored. . . . Soon he
        creates other animals as well. God's first mistake: man did
        not find the animals entertaining; he ruled over them, he did not even
        want to be "animal". Consequently God created woman. And
        indeed, that was the end of boredom -- but of other things too!
        Woman was God's second mistake.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Der Antichrist [The Antichrist], 1888/1895, Section 48;
          reprinted in Walter Kaufmann, Translator. The Portable Nietzsche.
          London: Chatto & Windus, 1971, p.628

---

Ye look aloft when ye long for exaltation,
and I look downward because I am exalted.
Who among you can at the same time laugh and
be exalted? He who climbeth on the highest
mountains, laugheth at all tragic plays
and tragic realities.
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885
          I - "Reading and Writing"

---

Your children's land shall ye love . . . Unto your children
shall ye make amends for being the children of your fathers:
all the past shall ye thus redeem!
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, III:56.12

---

Zarathustras Mitternachtslied [Zarathustra's Midnight Song]


Alt solo:


O Mensch! Gib Acht!
Was spricht die tiefe Mitternacht?
'Ich schlief, ich schlief --,
aus tiefem Traum bin ich erwacht: --
Die Welt ist tief,
und tiefer als der Tag gedacht.
Tief ist ihr Weh -- ,
Lust -- tiefer noch als Herzeleid.
Weh spricht: Vergeh!
Doch all' Lust will Ewigkeit -- ,
  -- will tiefe, tiefe Ewigkeit!'


O Man! Take heed!
What does the deep midnight say?
'I slept, I slept!
I have awakened from a deep dream.
The world is deep,
and deeper than the day remembers.
Deep is its suffering.
Joy is deeper yet than heartache!
Suffering says: Begone!
All joys want eternity,
want deep, deep eternity!'
     --Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
          Also Sprach Zarathustra [Thus Spoke Zarathustra].
          Chemnitz: Verlag von Ernst Schmeitzner, 1883-1885, IV:79(12),
          "Noch einmal" ["Once Again", also known as "Midnight Song"],
          which Nietzsche also uses in Zarathustra III:59(3), part of
          "The Second Dance Song"; above as set by Gustav Mahler
          (1860-1911), Symphony III (completed in 1896), Fourth Movement,
          Sehr langsam. Miserioso; English translation by Robert Cushman

---

Live your life while you have it.
Life is a splendid gift -- there is nothing small in it.
     --Florence Nightingale (1820-1910)

---

A ship is always referred to as "she" because it costs so
much to keep one in paint and powder.
     --Chester Nimitz [Fleet Admiral Chester William Nimitz, GCB, USN](1885-1966)
          Speech, 13 February 1940

---

We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in the retrospection.
We write, like Proust, to render all of it eternal. . . . When I
don't write I feel my world shrinking, I feel I am in a prison.
I feel I lose my fire, my color. Writing should be a necessity,
as the sea needs to heave. I call it breathing.
     --Anaïs Nin (1903-1977)
          Diaries, Volume 5 (1947-1955). New York: Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, 1974

---

Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.
     --Larry Niven (born 1938)
          "Niven's Laws", in Analog, November 2002

---

My self-control is legendary. Half history, half myth.
     --Larry Niven (born 1938)
        and Steven Barnes (born 1952). The Barsoom Project. New York: Ace
        Books, 1989, spoken by Marty Bobbick

---

There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
variant: No cause is so noble that it won't attract fuggheads.
     --Larry Niven [Laurence van Cott Niven](born 1938)
          N-Space [a collection of short stories].
          New York: Tom Doherty Associates, LLC, 1990. p.447
          source of variant: Jerry Pournelle, Larry Niven & Michael Flyn.
          Fallen Angels. New York: Random House, 1990, p.357

---

Writers who write for other writers should write letters.
     --Larry Niven [Laurence van Cott Niven](born 1938)
          N-Space [a collection of short stories].
          New York: Tom Doherty Associates, LLC, 1990. p.583

---

Congress spends like a drunk sailor, and that's unfair for two reasons.
The sailor spends his own money, and, eventually, he sobers up.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America

---

Greatness comes not when things go always good for you, but the
greatness comes and you are really tested, when you take some knocks,
some disappointments, when sadness comes, because only if you have
been in the deepest valley, can you ever know how magnificent it is
to be on the highest mountain.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States
          Farewell speech, The White House, 9 August 1974

---

I have an absolute rule.I refuse to make a decision that somebody
else can make. The first rule of leadership is to save yourself
for the big decision. Don't allow your mind to become cluttered with
the trivia. Don't let yourself become the issue.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States
          recounted in John Borek, Danny Lovett & Elmer Towns. The Good Book
          on Leadership. Nashville TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005, p.53

---

I would have made a good pope.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America

---

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the
largest shopping center in the world?
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America
          Speech in Portland, Oregon, 1960 (while he was vice president),
          published in Freedom of Communications, Part II (Nixon's Speeches),
          Washington DC: United States Government Printing Office, 1961-1962, p.89

---

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to
beat somebody.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America
          quoted by Natalie Gittelson in "Needles and Pins: The Man is the
          Message", Harper's Bazaar, Issue 101, April 1968, p.25

---

The jawbone of an ass is just as dangerous a weapon today as it was in
Samson's time.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America

---

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest
men in national government too.
     --Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
        37th president of the United States of America
        widely quoted, unsourced

---

You can't underestimate the power of fear.
     --Tricia Nixon (born 1946)
          referring to the Press, in an interview in Newsweek, 2 March 1970

---

Good night, sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow.


full text of 1931 song lyric:
Good night sweetheart, all my prayers are for you
Good night sweetheart, I'll be watching o'er you
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn, a new day is born (so I'll say)
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Good night sweetheart, when we meet tomorrow
Dreams enfold you, in them, Dear, I'll hold you
Good night sweetheart, good night.
     --Ray Noble (1903-1978)
        with Jimmy Campbell (1903-1967) and Reg Connelly (1895-1963)
          1931; also title song of Goodnight, Sweetheart, BBC-TV 1992-1999

---

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what envy is.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns that it is
      good to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity.
If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns what
      truth and justice are.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
      in himself and in those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the
      world is a nice place in which to live.
If you live with serenity, your child will live with peace of mind.
With what is your child living?
     --Dorothy Law Nolte (1924-2005)
          D.L. Nolte and Rachel Carson, Children Learn What They Live (1998)
          (There are many versions of this poem; originally thought to be anonymous,
          it was saved and shared in many different forms. A later version of the
          poem by the author herself changes the syntax so that it is gender-neutral,
          e.g., "If children live with tolerance, they learn patience . . .")

---

Socialism is simply Communism for people without the testosterone
to man the barricades.
     --Gary North [Gary Kilgore North](born 1942)

---

I'll tell you right now, I'd have offered the Iranians a free trip to
Disneyland if we could have gotten Americans home for it.
    variant: I would have promised those terrorists a trip to
        Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God
        they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to
        that extreme.
     --Oliver North [Oliver Laurence 'Ollie' North](born 1943)
          testimony in Congressional hearings, quoted by Vincent E. Barry and Joel
          Rudinow. Invitation to Critical Thinking, 2nd Edition, Fort Worth TX:
          Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1990, p.249

---

News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress.
Everything else is publicity.
     --Lord Northcliffe [Alfred Charles William Harmsworth, 1st Viscount Northcliffe](1865-1922)

---

A FURORE NORMANORUM LIBERA NOS O DOMINE
     --James Notebaart
          (title of article) in Liturgy, Volume 11 Issue 3, 1994, pp.13-20
          phrase common among the XIth century Saints in the British Isles

---

If I could have dinner with one person, alive or dead,
I think I would choose . . . alive.
     --B.J. Novak [Benjamin Joseph Manaly Novak](born 1979)
          from his standup comedy act

---

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
variant: The peculiar characteristic of classical music is that
    it is really so much better than it sounds.
     --Edgar Wilson 'Bill' Nye (1850-1896)
        often ascribed to Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910), who
        apparently quoted it often

---

I was raised on the Good Book Jesus
Till I read between the lines
     --Laura Nyro (1947-1997)
          Stoney End, 1966 song

---

I could see that childhood was an invention of grown-ups, a fiction we were
required to take on trust, in case we demanded something better.
     --Philip Oakes [Philip Barlow Oakes](1928-2005)

---

Perhaps God rewards martyrs, but life seldom does . . .
     --Ulrika O'Brien

---

Purple hum, assorted cars
Laser lights, you bring


All to prove you're on the move
and vanishing
     --Ric Ocasek [Richard T. Otcasek](born 1949)
          "Candy-O", song from The Cars album Candy-O (1979)
          (many online sources have "assorted cards")

---

The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
     --Sean O'Casey (1880-1964)

---

The world cannot continue to wage war
like physical giants and seek peace
like intellectual pygmies.
     --Basil O'Connor (1892-1972)

---

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers.
My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
     --Flannery O'Connor [Mary Flannery O'Connor](1925-1964)

---

Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers.
My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
     --Flannery O'Connor [Mary Flannery O'Connor](1925-1964)

---

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
     --Flannery O'Connor [Mary Flannery O'Connor](1925-1964)

---

Where you've been to is gone, where you're going to never was there, and
where you are is no good.
     --Flannery O'Connor [Mary Flannery O'Connor](1925-1964)

---

It is dangerous to smoke while you are becoming pregnant.
     --Bryant Oden
          Never Lick a Gift Horse in the Mouth: And 400 Other
          Innocent Mistakes from New English Language Students.
          Lake City CO: Western Relfections Publishing, 2004

---

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
     --Bryant Oden
          Never Lick a Gift Horse in the Mouth: And 400 Other
          Innocent Mistakes from New English Language Students.
          Lake City CO: Western Relfections Publishing, 2004

---

Sex -- the poor man's polo.
     --Clifford Odets (1903-1963)

---

Creativity will not come out of happy lives, but from people who become
outcasts.
     --Toshio Okada (born 1958)
          interview at Anime America conference, 1996

---

While I'm fully aware that money can't buy happiness,
I wouldn't mind being known as "the melancholy guy who drives
the red Lamborghini Diablo."
     --George Olson

---

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
     --Ken Olson [Kenneth Harry Olson](1926-2011)

---

A book reviewer is usually a barker before the door of a
publisher's circus.
     --Austin O'Malley (1858-1932)

---

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
     --Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

---

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
     --Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

---

Critics? I love every bone in their heads.
     --Eugene O'Neill [Eugene Gladstone O'Neill](1888-1953)

---

There is no present or future, only the past, happening over
and over again, now.
     --Eugene O'Neill [Eugene Gladstone O'Neill](1888-1953)

---

HIDE-AND-SEEK PIECE


Hide until everybody goes home.
Hide until everybody forgets about you.
Hide until everybody dies.


1964 spring
     --Yoko Ono (born 1933)
          Grapefruit: A Book of Instructions and Drawings. Tokyo: Wunternaum
          Press, 1964/New York: Simon & Schuster and London: Peter Owen, 1970.
          reissued in 2000 by Simon & Schuster

---

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
     --J. Robert Oppenheimer [Julius Robert Oppenheimer](1904-1967)
        also widely attributed on the Web to James Oppenheim (1882-1932)

---

If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky
that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One. . . .
I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
     --J. Robert Oppenheimer [Julius Robert Oppenheimer](1904-1967)
        nuclear scientist, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing
        the world's first nuclear explosion, Alamogordo, New Mexico, 1945

---

We do not believe any group of men adequate enough or wise enough
to operate without scrutiny or without criticism. We know that the
only way to avoid error is to detect it, that the only way to detect it
is to be free to enquire. We know that the wages of secrecy are
corruption. We know that in secrecy error, undetected, will flourish
and subvert.
     --J. Robert Oppenheimer [Julius Robert Oppenheimer](1904-1967)
          "Encouragement of Science" (Address at Science Talent Institute,
          6 March 1950), Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists,
          Volume 7 Number 1, January 1951, pp.6-8

---

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest
people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
     --Robert Orben (born 1927)

---

Never raise your hand to your children --
it leaves your midsection unprotected.
     --Robert Orben (born 1927)

---

Sometimes I feel as if the whole world is against me, but i know that's
not true . . . some of the smaller countries are neutral.
     --Robert Orben (born 1927)

---

To err is human, and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
     --Robert Orben (born 1927)

---

Always read something that will make you
look good if you die in the middle of it.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

Better an unfair distribution of wealth than a perfect equality of fear.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain
the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make
threatening him with it much more effective.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to
teenage boys.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

The government isn't in the business of producing results.
The government is in the business of producing government.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

How much fame, money, and power does a woman have to achieve on her own
before you can punch her in the face?
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

Marijuana is self-punishing; it makes you acutely sensitive, and in
this world, what worse punishment could there be? . . . We're not
serious about the drug trouble in this country. We're not serious about
the trouble causing the drug trouble. We're not serious about anything.
. . . We are not a serious nation.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, pp.543-544

---

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're
looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for
drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love
of power.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

Television has become the career of choice for extremely ambitious,
talent-free individuals.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.545

---

The Tenth Commandment [Thou shalt not covet] sends a message to
socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American
presidential candidates in the year 2000 -- to everyone who believes
that wealth should be redistributed.
And the message is clear and concise: Go to hell.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)
          Eat the Rich. New York: Atlantic Monthly Press, 1998

---

Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be
called shame and humiliation is now called publicity. And forget
traditional character assassination; if you say a modern celebrity is an
adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read
his autobiography.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)
          Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against
          Tyranny, Injustice and Alcohol-Free Beer. New York: Atlantic Monthly
          Press, 1992

---

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you
where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
     --P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)

---

It is clear that the decisive form of our intercourse
with things is, in fact, touch. And if this is so,
touch and contact are necessarily the most
conclusive factor in determining the structure of our world.
     --José Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955)

---

We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient
characteristic of life is its coerciveness: It is always urgent,
"here and now" without any possible postponement. Life is
fired at us point-blank.
     --José Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955)

---

If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of
rubbish into it.
     --William Aylott Orton (1889-1952)

---

As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism
is its adherents.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          The Road to Wigan Pier. London: Victor Gollancz, (1937)

---

Big Brother is watching you.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          1984. London: Secker & Warburg, 1949

---

Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a
war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)

---

The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his
own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          "Notes on Nationalism", Polemic, May 1945
          reprinted in England Your England and Other Essays. London:
          Secker & Warburg, 1953

---

On the whole human beings want to be good,
but not too good and not quite all the time.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          "The Art of Donald McGill", Horizon, September 1941; also
          published in Critical Essays, London: Secker & Warburg, 1946; and elsewhere

---

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)

---

Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
            variant Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proven
            innocent. --Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
          Orwell source: "Reflections on Gandhi", Partisan Review, 1949
          Heinlein source: Time Enough for Love: The Lives of Lazarus Long
          New York: Ace Books, 1973
              similar idea (author unknown): "There are no saints, only
                  unrecognized villains.", quoted in Antti P. Balk. Balderdash: A
                  Treatise on Ethics. London: Thelema Publications, 2012, pp.53-54

---

They're afraid of love because Love makes a world they
can't control. But it's a world worth taking risks for.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          1984. London: Secker & Warburg, 1949

---

Unpopular ideas can be silenced, and inconvenient facts kept dark, without
the need for any official ban. . . . At any given moment there is an
orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed that all right-thinking
people will accept without question. . . . Anyone who challenges the
prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with surprising effectiveness.
A genuinely unfashionable opinion is almost never given a fair hearing,
either in the popular press or in the highbrow periodicals. . . . If
liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what
they do not want to hear.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)
          from "The Freedom of the Press", his proposed preface to
          Animal Farm: A Fairy Story, 1945, which was banned from publication
          in the First Edition, and most subsequent printed copies; a notable exception
          is that the Preface was included in the Italian Animal Farm edition
          (La fattoria degli animali, Milano: Mondadori, 1976, traduzione di
          Bruno Tasso); it was apparently first published in English, with an
          introduction by Professor Bernard Crick entitled "How the essay came
          to be written", in The Times Literary Supplement, 15 September 1972.
          Some online commentators have described this as "Orwellian irony". Indeed.

---

Whatever is funny is subversive.
     --George Orwell (1903-1950)

---

Critics are a dissembling, dishonest, contemptible race of men.
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like
asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.
     --John Osborne (1929-1994)

---

It is not decided by votes what is true; otherwise we could never come to
any truth, ever. People will vote for what is comfortable -- and lies are
very comfortable because you don't have to do anything about them, you just
have to believe. Truth needs great effort, discovery, risk, and it needs
you to walk alone on a path that nobody has traveled before.
     --Osho [Chandra Mohan Jain/Acharya Rajneesh/Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh](1931-1990)
          Your Answers Questioned: Explorations for Open Minds. New York: St Martin's
          Press, 2003

---

The real enemy is no more the Soviet Union, it is America. . . . Either
America must be hushed up or America will be the end of the world.
     --Osho [Chandra Mohan Jain/Acharya Rajneesh/Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh](1931-1990)
          "World must put U.S. 'monster' in its place, guru says". Chicago
          Tribune, 18 November 1985, p.5
          comments on returning to New Delhi from America, where he had been arrested
          for violating immigration laws by performing "sham" marriages
          so his followers could stay in the United States

---

Remain ignorant if you ever want to become enlightened. Remain innocent,
childlike, if you ever want a communion with existence and reality.
Remain in wonder if you want mysteries to open up for you. Mysteries never
open up for those who go on questioning. Questioners sooner or later end up
in a library. They end up with scriptures, because scriptures are full of
answers. And answers are dangerous, they kill your wonder. They are dangerous
because they give you the feeling that you know, although you know not.
     --Osho [Chandra Mohan Jain/Acharya Rajneesh/Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh](1931-1990)
          The Book of Wisdom: Discourses on Atisha's Seven Points of Mind Training.
          Pune, Maharashtra: Osho International, 1979/1983, Chapter 10: Miracles Are
          Your Birthright

---

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians are delighted; musicians denoted; cowboys deranged;
models deposed; tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
     --Virginia Ostman
          quoted in Dr Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990). Peter's Quotations: Ideas For
          Our Time. New York: HarperCollins/Quill, 1977/1993, p.497

---

It's useful that there should be gods, so let's believe there are.
     --Ovid [Publius Ovidius Naso](43 BCE - 17 CE)

---

There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
     --Ovid [Publius Ovidius Naso](43 BCE - 17 CE)
        widely attributed to Ovid, unsourced

---

All the poet can do to-day is to warn.
That is why the true Poets must be truthful.
     --Wilfred Owen [Wilfred Edward Salter Owen MC](1893-1918)
          from the author's Preface. Poems. London: Chatto & Windus, 1920,
          p.vii

---

I write in terror. I have to talk mysetf into bravery with every sentence,
sometimes every syllable. I have a raven perched on my right shoulder at
all times that says, "That's not good, that's ugly."
     --Cynthia Ozick (born 1928)

---

I don't feel that violence in the media causes violence. On the contrary,
I feel that it causes passivity and inaction and paralysis -- a far more
serious cultural problem.
     --Camille Paglia [Camille Anna Paglia](born 1947)
          from "", one of the extra programs on the Blu-Ray release of
          A Clockwork Orange, 1971 film

---

Identity thrives by conflict and opposition.
     --Camille Paglia (born 1947)
          Sex, Art and American Culture. New York: Random House/Vintage Books,
          1992, p.41

---

A poet is not always master of his own poem,
for imagination can overwhelm moral intention.
     --Camille Paglia (born 1947)

---

Sex and nature are brutal pagan forces.
     --Camille Paglia (born 1947)

---

Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

---

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant
Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
          The Age of Reason, Part I, 1794; London: R. Carlile, 1824

---

It is as useless to argue with those who have renounced the use and
authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

---

My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

---

Of all the tyrannies that afflict mankind, tyranny in religion is the
worst; every other species of tyranny is limited to the world we live in;
but this attempts to stride beyond the grave, and seeks to pursue us into
eternity.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
          A Letter to the Hon. T[homas]. Erskine, on the prosecution of Thomas
          Williams, for publishing The Age of Reason, c.1798. New York:
          R. Carlile, 1826; sometimes seen as The Age of Reason, Part IV

---

A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be.
Moderation in temper is always a virtue;
but moderation in principle is always a vice.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

---

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue
is not hereditary.
     --Thomas Paine (1737-1809)

---

Fidgit: We should have stayed at home, making trees. . . . How
    could we have been so stupid?
Og: I dunno.
     --Michael Palin (born 1943)
        and Terry Gilliam (born 1940)
          Time Bandits, 1981 film
          spoken by Kenny Baker as Fidgit and Mike Edmonds as Og

---

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
     --Palmer Home for Children, Columbus, Mississippi, credited to Taylia, age 11

---

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of
happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
     --Norm Papernick (born 1975)
        Carnegie Mellon University

---

BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.
     --Seymour Papert (born 1928)

---

He who knows nothing, loves nothing.
He who can do nothing, understands nothing.
He who understands nothing is worthless. . . .
Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen
    at the same time as the strawberries
    knows nothing about grapes.
     --Paracelsus [Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim](1493-1541)

---

Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you.
     --Charlie Parker (1920-1955)

---

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere
pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
    Love, the reeling midnight through.
For tomorrow we shall die!
    (But, alas, we never do.)
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

A girl's best friend is her mutter.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome,
ruthless and stupid.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people he gave it to.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Its voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and
find a foe!
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.
It should be thrown with great force.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

The two most beautiful words in the English language are
"check enclosed."
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

Work is the province of cattle.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
     --Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of
success is how we cope with disappointment, as we always must. . . .
Can we be blamed for feeling that we're too old to change? too scared
of disappointment to start it all again? We get up in the morning,
we do our best. Nothing else matters. But it's also true that the
person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing. All we know about
the future is that it will be different. Perhaps what we fear is that
it will be the same, so we must celebrate the changes, because as someone
once said, everything will be all right in the end, and if it's not
all right, then trust me, it's not yet the end.
     --Ol Parker [Oliver Parker](born 1969)
          The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, 2011 film, screenplay based on the
          novel These Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach (born 1948)

---

Argument is the opiate of the net.aholics
     --J. Parsons
          NZ_RELIGION

---

Never be deceived that the rich will allow you to vote away their wealth.
     --Lucy Parsons [Lucy Eldine Gonzalez Parsons](c.1853-1942)

---

If I hadn't had them, I would have had some made.
     --Dolly Parton (born 1946)

---

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
     --Dolly Parton (born 1946)

---

Je blâme également, et ceux qui prennent parti de louer
l'homme, et ceux qui le prennent de le blâmer, et ceux qui le
prennent de se divertir; et je ne puis approuver que ceux qui cherchent en
gémissant.
[I blame equally as much those who take it upon themselves to praise man,
as those who make it their business to blame him, together with others
who think that he should be perpetually amused; and only those can I
approve who seek for truth with tear-filled eyes.]
     --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
          Pensées, No.421, 1669 (published posthumously)

---

Le cœur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point.
On le sent en mille choses. C'est le cœur qui sent Dieu, et non
la raison. Voil ce que c'est que la foi parfaite, Dieu sensible au
cœur.
[The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. We feel it
in a thousand things. It is the heart which experiences God, and not the
reason. This, then, is faith: God felt by the heart, not by the reason.]
     --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
          Pensées, No.277, 1669 (published posthumously; English from
          Project Gutenberg online translation

---

Les choses valent tousjours [sic] mieux dans leur source.
[Things are always found best at the fountainhead.]
    variant: Things are always at their best in their beginning.
     --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
        under the nom de plume Louis de Montalte
          Lettres provinciales [The Provincial Letters],
          Letter IV, Paris, 25 February 1656, English translation by Thomas M'Crie

---

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from
religious conviction.
     --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
          Pensées, 1669 (published posthumously)

---

Tout ce qu'il ya d'hommes sont presque toujours emportés à
croire non pas par la preuve, mais par l'agrément.
[People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis
of proof but on the basis of what they find attractive.]
     --Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
          De L'Art De Persuader [The Art of Persuasion], c.1655

---

Man does not die in a ditch like a dog - but at home in history, while
the work toward the conquest of death is in full swing; he dies sharing
in this work.
     --Boris Pasternak [Boris Leonidovich Pasternak](1890-1960)
          Doctor Zhivago. New York: Random House/Pantheon Books, 1957
          English translation by Max Hayward and Manya Haran, ©1958 by
          Wm. Collins Sons & Co., London
          spoken by Nikolai Nikolaievich, to Ivan Ivanovich
          variant: Man does not die like a dog in the street.
              He dies in his place in history.

---

Dans le champs de l'observation, le hasard ne favorise que les
esprits préparés.
[Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.
    variant: In the realm of scientific observation, luck is
        granted only to those who are prepared.]
     --Louis Pasteur (1822-1895)
          Address at University of Lille, France, 7 December 1854

---

Dans les champs de l'observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits
préparés.
[In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.]
     --Louis Pasteur (1822-1895)
          Lecture at University of Lille, 7 December 1854

---

I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they [the whites
of South Africa[ have turned to loving, they will find we [the blacks]
are turned to hating.
     --Alan Paton (1903-1988)

---

Meditation for a Young Boy Confirmed


You will observe that virgins do not bear children, and that
    dead men are not resurrected.
You will read in the newspapers of wars and disasters, but
    they will report miracles with impatience.
You will be distressed, you will not wish to repudiate your
    commitment,
You will not wish to disappoint your parents, you will suffer
    deep troubling of the soul,
You will cry out like David before you, my God, my God, why
    hast Thou forsaken me?
Do not hastily concede this territory, do not retreat immediately.
Pass over the slender bridges, pick your road quickly through
    the marshes,
Observe the frail planks left by your predecessors, the
    stones gained only by leaping.
Press on to the higher ground, to the great hills and the
    mountains
From whose heights men survey the eternal country, and the
    city that has no need of moon or sun.
     --Alan Paton (1903-1988)
        written in 1950 for the confirmation of his son, Jonathan

---

To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility
as a free man.
     --Alan Paton (1903-1988)

---

What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?
     --Alan Paton (1903-1988)

---

Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? . . . Wise men write
many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose
of our lives, the end of all our struggle, is beyond all human wisdom.
     --Alan Paton (1903-1988)

---

An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides
correctly, but he always decides.
     --John H. Patterson (1844-1922)

---

Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.
     --Gen. George S. Patton (1885-1945)

---

If a man does his best, what else is there?
     --Gen. George S. Patton (1885-1945)

---

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the
other bastard die for his.
     --Gen. George S. Patton (1885-1945)

---

A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.
     --Gen. George S. Patton (1885-1945)

---

  7 . . . We brought nothing into this world, and we cannot take anything
      out of the world;
  8 but if we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content.
  9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation . . .
10 For the love of money is the root of all evils . . .
11 But as for you, man of God, shun all this; aim at righteousness,
      godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.
     --St Paul
          I Timothy VI:7-11, RSV

---

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time,
and a courageous person afterward.
     --Jean Paul [Johann Paul Friedrich Richter](1763-1825)

---

Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
     --Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)

---

We are upping our standards . . . so up yours.
     --Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)

---

I think [today's popular music] distracts people from more important social
issues.
     --Don Payne (1964-2013)
          The Simpsons, TV series, "Fraudcast News", 23 May 2004
          spoken by Lisa Simpson (voiced by Yeardley Smith)
          more complete scene: Mr Burns has bought up all media outlets in
              Springfield, but Lisa refuses his bribery and intends to continue
              publishing her homemade "newspaper",
              C. Montgomery Burns (voiced by Harry Shearer): Very well, you had
                  your chance. I'm going to shred you like a Christmas card. Now get out!
              Lisa Simpson (voiced by Yeardley Smith): I can't! My mom's
                  not picking me up for an hour.
              Burns is nonplussed. He leans nervously on his desk, at a loss for words.
              Burns: Well, what do you think of today's popular music scene?
              Lisa: I think it distracts people from more important social issues.
              Burns: My God, are you always "on"?

---

We are condemned to kill time: thus we die bit by bit.
     --Octavio Paz [Octavio Paz Lozano](1914-1998)

---

Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
     --Minnie Pearl (1912-1996)
        quoted by Bob Dylan (born 1941), according to Bob's Blog
        [www.myspace.com/darkhotel/blog/151089777]
            variant: Marriage is a good deal like taking a bath --
                not so hot once you get accustomed to it.
                    --attributed to Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990)

---

We're only immortal for a limited time.
     --Neil Peart [Neil Ellwood Peart, OC](born 1952)
          "Dreamline", from the Rush album Roll the Bones, 1991

---

Beauty is excrescence, superabundance, random ebullience, and sheer
delightful waste to be enjoyed in its own right.
     --Donald Culross Peattie (1898-1964)
          An Almanac for Moderns. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1935

---

Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom.
     --Dr M. Scott Peck (1936-2005)

---

Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they
moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity
of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life
were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voice their belief,
noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of
affliction that should not be and that has somehow been especially
visited upon them, or else upon their families, their tribe, their
class, their nation, their race or even their species, and not upon
others.
     --Dr M. Scott Peck (1936-2005)

---

Force may subdue, but love wins.
     --William Penn (1644-1718)

---

Tom Seaver: Hey, Yogi, what time is it?
Yogi Berra: You mean now?
     --Phil Pepe (born 1935)
          The Wit and Wisdom of Yogi Berra. New York: Hawthorn Books, 1974

---

Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
     --Erik Pepke

---

Poverty is no disgrace. The true disgrace
is in doing nothing to prevent poverty.
     --Περικλης [Pericles](c.495-429 BCE)
          quoted by Θουκυδιδης [Thucydides], in
          History of the Peloponnesian War, c.430-c.411 BCE, Book 2.40
              extended quote: Our love of what is beautiful does not lead to
                  extravagance; our love of the things of the mind does not make us soft.
                  We regard wealth as something to be properly used, rather than as
                  something to boast about. As for poverty, no one need be ashamed to
                  admit it, the real shame is in not taking practical measures to escape
                  from it.

---

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
     --Alan Perlis (1922-1990)
          Epigram No.79 in "Epigrams on programming"
          ACM SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17 Number 9, September 1982, pp.7-13

---

You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting
his attitude on the continuing viability of Fortran.
     --Alan Perlis (1922-1990)

---

I am what I am, and at this moment,
I cannot possibly be different
from what I am.
     --Fritz Perls [Friedrich Salomon Perls](1893-1970)

---

Criticism is the vanity of the weak.
Appreciation is the art of noble souls.
     --Stella George Stern Perry (1877-1956)
          San Francisco: The Wahlgreen Company: The Sculpture and Murals of the
          Panama-Pacific International Exposition, 1915, [p.iii]

---

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
     --Irene Peter (born mid-XXth century)
          quoted by her husband, Dr Laurence Peter. Peter's Quotations: Ideas for
          our Time. New York: William Morrow and Company, 1977, p.99

---

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man
who will get the blame.
     --Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)

---

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
     --Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)

---

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
     --Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)

---

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.
     --Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)

---

Peter Principle, Side Issue Specialization: Look after the molehills
and the mountains will look after themselves.
     --Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)
        and Raymond Hull (1919-1985)
          The Peter Principle. New York: William Morrow & Co., 1969

---

The hatred we bear our enemies injures their happiness less than our own.
     --Jean Antoine Petit-Senn (1792-1870)

---

To be able to say how much you love is to love but little.
     --Petrarch [Francesco Petrarca](1304-1374)

---

MUNDUS VULT DECIPI ERGO DECIPIATUR
[The world wants to be deceived, so let it be deceived.]
     --sometimes attributed to Petronius [Gaius Petronius Arbiter](c.27-66 CE)
        the first three words are used as the motto on the coat of arms of
        Manuel, a swineherd, in James B. Cabell [James Branch Cabell](1879-1958).
        Figures of Earth: A Comedy of Appearances.
        New York: R.M. McBride, 1926

---

Whose fault is it then? Is it the parents deserve censure,
who will not give their children the advantages of strict
training? In the first place their hopes, like everything
else, are centered in ambition, and so being
impatient to see their wishes fulfilled, they hurry lads
into the forum when still raw and half-taught, and indue
mere babes with the mantle of eloquence, an art they
admit themselves to be equalled by none in difficulty.
If only they would let them advance step by step in their
tasks, so that serious students might be broken in by
solid reading, steady their minds with the precepts of
philosophy, chasten their style with unsparing correction,
study deep and long what they propose to imitate, and
refuse to be dazzled by puerile graces, then and only
then would the grand old type of Oratory recover its
former authority and stateliness. Nowadays, boys waste their
time at school; as youths, they are jeered at in the
forum, and what is worse than either, no one will
acknowledge as an old man the faultiness
of the teaching he received in his younger days.
     --Petronius [Gaius Petronius Arbiter](c.27-66 CE)
          The Satyricon, Chapter 1, Translation ascribed to Oscar Wilde
          (1854-1900). privately printed, 1928

---

Boys are like cats; they are always
distrustful and they love nobody. Yet
one cannot help being fond of them.
     --Roger Peyrefitte (1907-2000)
          Les Amitiés Particulières (1943). translated by Edward
          Hyams. New York: Vanguard Press, 1950
              from film version: Children are like cats -- mistrustful and
                  unloving; but you can't help loving them.
                      --Jean Aurenche (1904-1992) and Pierre Bost (1901-1975), from the
                          subtitles of the film Les Amitiés Particulières,
                          1968, spoken by Fr Trennes

---

One should never lose hope. Homosexuality can strike any straight man at
any age.
     --Roger Peyrefitte (1907-2000)

---

Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
     --Austin Phelps (1820-1890)

---

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
     --Emo Philips [Phil Soltanec](born 1956)

---

I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively-well-managed
Presbyterian Youth Center.
     --Emo Philips [Phil Soltanec](born 1956)
          The Secret Policeman's Third Ball, 1987 film

---

I was reading in the paper how the Soviet Union is beating the USA
in a race to put a man on Mars, 'cause we're sissies and we're limiting
ourselves with the extra technical burden of bringing the guy back
again. . . . I was raised Baptist. My dad would say, "Emo, do you
believe in the Lord?", I'd say, "Yes", he'd say,
"Then stand up and shout, 'Hallelujah!'", so I did, and I fell
out of the roller-coaster. . . . I was very religious. I used to pray
every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized the Lord doesn't work
that way, so I just stole one, and asked Him to forgive me. . . . Thank
you very much, and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who
said: "A truck."
     --Emo Philips [Phil Soltanec](born 1956)
          stand-up routine at Montreal International Comedy Festival, 1990

---

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.
     --Wendell Phillips (1811-1884)

---

The Puritan's idea of hell is a place where everybody has to mind his own
business.
     --Wendell Phillips (1811-1884)

---

Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
     --Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

---

Drink to me.
     --Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
        last words

---

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist
once he grows up.
     --Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
          epigraph at beginning of "Modern living: Ozmosis [sic] in Central
          Park", Time Magazine, 4 October 1976; the article is unsigned;
          Picasso is quoted unsourced

---

Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
     --Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

---

[Mechanical brains or calculating machines (computers)]
are useless. They can only give you answers.
     --Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
          Interview with William Fifield (1916-1982), "Pablo Picasso: A
          Composite Interview", The Paris Review, Issue 32, Summer-Fall 1964

---

The marriage ceremony doesn't change the whole psyche if it (the psyche)
has been conditioned to reject that which is sexual.
     --Rt Rev James A. Pike (1913-1969)
          Episcopal clergyman, in speech at the University of Southern California, c.1967

---

If you want to know what it's like to be a child,
you need to learn to play.
     --Michael Piller (1948-2005)
          Star Trek: Insurrection, 1998 film
          spoken by Artim (Michael Welch), Age 12, to Data (Brent Spiner), who has
          expressed a desire to know what being a child is like

---

Native American Prayer


O great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds. and whose breath gives
life to ail the world, hear me! I am small and weak; I need your strength
and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the
red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise so that I may
understand the things you have taught my people. Let me learn the
lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock. I seek strength, not
to be greater than my friend, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, may my spirit come to you
without shame.
     --Red Cloud Indian School, Pine Ridge, South Dakota

---

From forty till fifty a man is at heart either a stoic or a satyr.
     --Sir Arthur Wing Pinero (1855-1934)

---

To believe in God is to build a bridge
between yourself and everything worth being one with.
     --Joseph Pintauro (born mid-XXth century)
          To Believe in God. New York: Harper & Row, 1968
          included in a speech at the University Christian Movement Conference,
          St Louis, 1967

---

Do not condemn your neighbor.
You do not know what you would have done in his place.
     --Pirke Avot
          Traditional Text (Sayings of the Jewish Fathers)
          also sometimes credited to Hillel (Ist Century BCE, died 10 CE)

---

I grew up among wise men and found that there is nothing
better for man than silence.
Knowledge is not the main thing, but deeds.
     --Pirke Avot
          Traditional Text (Sayings of the Jewish Fathers)
          (also sometimes credited as "Sierra Leonean Proverb")

---

Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.
     --Robert M. Pirsig [Robert Maynard Pirsig](born 1928)
          Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. New York: William Morrow & Co., 1974

---

There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology -- the tendency
to do what is reasonable even when it isn't any good.
     --Robert M. Pirsig [Robert Maynard Pirsig](born 1928)

---

Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the
argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
     --William Pitt (1756-1806)
          speech on the India Bill, 18 November 1783

---

Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
serve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
society . . . It is justified because . . . the program can give a sense
of shared adventure and achievement to the society at large.
     --Colin Pittendrigh [Dr Colin S. Pittendrigh](1918-1996)
          Hearings, Reports and Prints of the Senate Committee on Aeronautical and
          Space Sciences. Washington DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 1964, p.84

---

Ask the Koreans or the Chinese their opinion about the peace-loving Japanese.
     --Robert Plamondon

---

Attention to health is life greatest hindrance.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge
which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)
          The Republic, Book VII, 536

---

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly,
while bad people will find a way around the laws.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

If man is moderate and contented, then even age is no burden.
If he is not, then even youth is full of cares.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then be
better able to find out the natural bent.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

love: A grave mental disease.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

Mankind censure injustice, fearing that they may be the
victims of it and not because they shrink from committing it.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

You are young, my son, and as the years go by, time will change
and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore
from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

You'd be shocked at how your neighbor makes love.
     --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)

---

If everybody's behavior can be explained by simple stupidity and greed,
there's no point in assuming a conspiracy.
     --P.J. Plauger (born mid-XXth century)

---

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the
day they start making vacuum cleaners.
     --Ernst Jan Plugge

---

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod;
my shadow does that much better.
     --Plutarch [Lucius Mestrius Plutarchus](c.46-120 CE)

---

Urlicht [Primeval Light]


Alt solo


O Röschen rot,
Der Mensch liegt in größter Not,
Der Mensch liegt in größter Pein,
Je lieber möcht ich im Himmel sein,
Da kam ich auf einen breiten Weg,
Da kam ein Engelein und wollt mich abweisen,
Ach nein! Ich ließ mich nicht abweisen.
Ich bin von Gott, ich will wieder zu Gott!
Der liebe Gott wird mir ein Lichtchen geben,
wird leuchten mir bis in das ewig selig Leben.


Oh red rose!
Man lies in deepest need,
Man lies in deepest pain.
Yes, I would rather be in heaven!
I came upon a broad pathway:
An angel came and wanted to send me away.
Ah no! I would not be sent away!
I am from God and will return to God.
The dear God will give me a light,
Will light me to eternal blessed life!
     --German folk poem
          Des Knaben Wunderhorn [The Youth's Magic Horn],
          Zweiter Teil [Part Two], Munchen: Winkler Verlag, 1806/1984, p.297
          Fourth Movement, Sehr feierlich, aber schlicht, from Gustav Mahler
          (1860-1911), Symphony II (1895); English translation by
          Deryck Cooke (1919-1976)

---

Pohl's law: No one is ever ready for anything.
     --Frederik Pohl [Frederik George Pohl Jr](born 1919)
          Black Star Rising. New York: Ballantine/Del Rey, 1985, p.177

---

Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.
     --Frederik Pohl [Frederik George Pohl Jr](born 1919)

---

Science is built up of facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection
of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.
     --Jules Henri Poincaré (1854-1912)

---

Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.
     --Roman Polanski (born 1933)

---

Los Angeles is the most beautiful city in the world -- as long as [it is]
seen at night and from a distance.
     --Roman Polanski (born 1933)
          quoted, unsourced, in Scott Foundas, "FILM: L.A. Residential",
          The New York Times, 25 July 2004

---

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
     --Channing Pollock (1880-1946)

---

Using the myth that conventional male adulthood is a proper payoff for
the sacrifices young males make in order to achieve it, we have too long
rationalized male dominance, perpetuated it, and made it seem like
propriety.
     --Murray Pomerance (born 1946)
          "The man-boys of Steven Spielberg", in Murray Pomerance and
          Frances Gateward (Editors). Where the Boys Are: Cinemas of Masculinity
          and Youth. Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 2005, p.142

---

All are but parts of one stupendous whole,
Whose body Nature is, and God the soul.
. . .
All nature is but art, unknown to thee:
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see:
All discord, harmony not understood;
All partial evil, universal good.
     --Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
        An Essay on Man, 1734

---

A little learning is a dangerous thing.
     --Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
          An Essay on Criticism, 1711
          often misquoted as "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"

---

Such labored nothings in so strange a style,
Amaze the unlearned, and make the learned smile.
     --Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
          An Essay on Criticism, 1711

---

I yam what I yam
and that's all what I yam.
     --Popeye

---

In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart
there is room for nothing.
     --Antonio Porchia (1885-1968)

---

If you are required to kill someone today, on the promise of a political
leader that someone else shall live in peace tomorrow, believe me,
you are not only a double murderer, you are a suicide, too.
     --Katherine Anne Porter (1890-1980)

---

When everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four
more months of work to do.
     --C. Portman
        of International Computers Ltd., as quoted in Frederick P. Brooks Jr.
        The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering.
        Reading MA: Addison-Wesley, 1975, Notes to Chapter 2 (Note 2).

---

An egotist is a man who thinks that if he hadn't been born
people would have wondered why.
     --Dan Post

---

Artists are the antennae of the race.
     --Ezra Pound [Ezra Weston Loomis Pound](1885-1972)
          "Henry James", Little Review, August 1918,
          reprinted in Literary Essays of Ezra Pound. New York: New
          Directions, 1935 [paperback edition, 1968], p.297
              more complete quote: Artists are the antennae of the race, but
                  the bullet-headed many will never learn to trust their great artists.

---

It is always easy for people to object to what they have not tried
to understand.
     --Ezra Pound [Ezra Weston Loomis Pound](1885-1972)
          "Henry James", Little Review, August 1918,
          reprinted in Literary Essays of Ezra Pound. New York: New
          Directions, 1935 [paperback edition, 1968], p.297

---

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
     --Paula Poundstone (born 1959)

---

Peace is the name of the ideal we deduce from the fact that there have been
interludes between wars.
     --Jerry Pournelle [Jerry Eugene Pournelle](born 1933)
        Falkenberg's Legion. New York: Baen Books/Simon & Schuster, 1990
        spoken by John Christian Falkenberg

---

You guys can never forget the struggle that came before you. The people
that fought, and loved, and died so that you could walk down the street
in skinny jeans with rights you never knew you never had. The minute we
forget what we went through to get here, is the minute it could all be
taken away.
     --Tracy Poust (born late XXth century)
        and Jon Kinnally (born late XXth century)
          Will and Grace: Revival, tv series, "Who's Your Daddy", 5 October 2017
          spoken by Will Truman (Eric McCormack) to his young date, who seems to
          be unaware of the struggles of gay liberation

---

A weak mind isn't strong enough to hurt itself. Stupidity has saved
many a man from going mad.
     --Michael Powell (1905-1990)
        and Emeric Pressburger (1902-1988), screenwriters
          Stairway to Heaven, 1946 film
          spoken by Dr Frank Reeves (Roger Livesey)

---

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
     --Terry Pratchett [Sir Terence David John Pratchett, OBE](born 1948)

---

It is said that your life passes before your eyes before you die.
This is true. The process is called living.
     --Terry Pratchett [Sir Terence David John Pratchett, OBE](born 1948)

---

Under cover
a coward will strike from any side.
I warn you, friend,
Watch out for his sting.
Under every rock is a lurking scorpion.
     --Πραξιλλα [Praxilla of Sikyon](c.450 BCE)

---

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
     --W.B. Prescott (1864-1916)

---

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
     --Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

---

Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.
     --Ross Presser (born mid-XXth century)

---

This is the 90s. You don't practice non-monogamy, you practice
polyfidelity.
     --Hilary B. Price (born 1969)
          "Rhymes with Orange"
          syndicated newspaper cartoon, beginning in 1995

---

The weak man makes virtues of his own weaknesses.
     --Roger Price (1918-1990)
          The Great Roob Revolution. New York: Random House, 1970, p.79
          This is Price's summary of some ideas in Friedrich Nietzsche's
          Also Sprach Zarathustra (the only work by Nietzsche noted in
          his bibliography on p.141), though he does not reference the ideas more
          specifically; a Web search for actual Nietzsche quotes of this nature
          was unsuccessful

---

Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
     --Pro Arts, Inc.
          protest poster created between 1960 and 1980
          Library of Congress Call #: POS 6 - U.S., no. 1220 (C size) [P&P]

---

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
     --Herbert Prochnow (1897-1998)

---

Be of good cheer; after sad and evil days hurries the
happier hour of gentle joy.
     --Sextus Aurelius Propertius (c.45-c.15 BCE)

---

Man is the measure of all things.
     --Πρωταγορας [Protagoras of Abdera](c.490-420 BCE)

---

Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho.
[I am a Marxist -- of the Groucho variety.]
     --French students during 1968 protests

---

The stellar universe is not so difficult to understand as the real
actions of other people, especially of the people with whom
we are in love.
     --Marcel Proust (1871-1922)

---

There is hardly a single action that we perform in that phase which we
would not give anything, in later life, to be able to annul.
Whereas what we ought to regret is that we no longer possess the
spontaneity which made us perform them. In later life we look at things
in a more practical way, in full conformity with the rest of society,
but adolescence is the only period in which we learn anything.
     --Marcel Proust (1871-1922)
          À la recherche du temps perdu [In Search of Lost Time]
          Paris: Grasset and Gallimard, 1913-1927, segment "À l'ombre des
          jeunes filles en fleurs" (1919)

---

Experience is a good teacher, but her fees are very high.
    variant: Experience is a good school, but the tuition is high.
     --Proverb
          sometimes attributed to Heinrich Heine [Harry Heine/Christian Johann
          Heinrich Heine](1797-1856), or William Ralph Inge [Dean Inge](1860-1954),
          among others

---

You've gotta dance like there's no one watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.
     --William Watson Purkey (born 1929)
        eMail from the author dated 13 June 2001 reproduced in
        www.quotationspage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=267

---

If they can get you asking the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry about answers.
     --Thomas Pynchon [Thomas Ruggles Pynchon Jr](born 1937)
          "Proverbs for Paranoids", Gravity's Rainbow.
          Mew York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1986, p.251

---

No man ever stands so straight as when he
stoops to help a boy.
     --Knights of Pythagoras
        [Motto of Le Roy Boys' Home, Pomona, California]

---

Rest satisfied with doing well
and leave others to talk of you as they will.
     --Πυϑαγορας [Pythagoras](580-500 BCE)

---

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
     --J. Danforth Quayle (born 1947)
        44th vice president of the United States of America

---

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman
out of a divorce.
     --Don Quinn

---

You know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the
United States? Because your hackers have so much mobility into the
establishment. Here, there is no such mobility. If you have the slightest
bit of intellectual integrity you cannot support the government. . . .
That's why the best computer minds belong to the opposition. . . .
Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper . . . everyone was
eating paper and a policeman was at the door. Now all you have to do is
bend a disk.
     --Zygmundt R.
          Buck Bloombecker. "Of Systems, Solidarity, and Struggle".
          Datamation, Volume 33 Number 21, 1 November 1987, pp.47-55;
          "Zygmundt R." may have been a pseudonym, as he was described
          in the article as "a Polish expert on terrorism", and is
          described elsewhere on the Web as a member of the outlawed Polish trade
          union, Solidarity

---

A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell.
     --François Rabelais (1483-1553)

---

The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters;
thus, the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart
that is obsessed with the idea of "me and mine".
     --Sri Ramakrishna [born Gadadhar Chattopadhyay](1836-1886)

---

You can never get enough of what you don't really need.
     --Harold Ramis [Harold Allen Ramis](born 1944)
        quoting "a very wise person", whom he did not name
          Bedazzled, 1967 film, DVD extra feature interview, 2006

---

Lack of skill dictates economy of style.
     --Joey Ramone [Jeffrey Ross Hyman](1951-2001)

---

Do not beg for alms from those who have robbed you.
     --Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
          Atlas Shrugged. New York: Random House, 1957, spoken by John Galt

---

It stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone
collecting sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there's
someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice speaks of
slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.
     --Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
          The Fountainhead. New York: Bobbs-Merrill, 1943
          spoken by Ellsworth Toohey, to Peter Keating

---

The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
     --Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
          the idea of this quote was apparently condensed by later writers from
          two lines of dialogue from The Fountainhead (New York: Bobbs-Merrill,
          1943), when the dean of Stanton Institute questions future architect Howard
          Roark's ability to realise his visions: "My dear fellow, who will let
          you?" the dean asks. Roark responds, "The point is, who will
          stop me?"

---

I love liberty, I hate equality.
     --John Randolph [John Randolph of Roanoke](1773-1833)

---

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the
usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody
thinks of complaining.
     --Jeff Raskin (1943-2005)

---

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
     --Mitch Ratcliffe (born mid-XXth century)

---

Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of
Silly Putty.
     --  Dennis Rawlins (born 1937)
        astronomer; quoted (unsourced) in James Randi. The Truth About Uri
        Geller. Buffalo NY: Prometheus Books, 1982, p.1

---

A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating, because 300 people
choke to death on food every year.
     --Dixy Lee Ray (1914-1994)
        Governor of Washington, 1976-1981

---

A people without a religion of beauty inhabit a waste land.
     --Sir Herbert Edward Read (1893-1968)

---

A tree is a tree -- how many more do you need to look at?
    variant [incorrectly quoted]: If you've seen one redwood, you've
        seen them all.
     --Ronald Reagan [Ronald Wilson Reagan](1911-2004)
        40th president of the United States of America
          Speech to the Western Wood Products Association, San Francisco, 12 March 1966

---

Her life was saved by rock 'n' roll.
     --Lou Reed (1942-2013)
          "Rock 'n' Roll", from the Velvet Underground's 1970 album
          Loaded

---

Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
     --M.C. Reed

---

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at
the stake while the votes were being counted.
     --Thomas B. Reed [Thomas Brackett Reed](1839-1902)

---

Our asylums are full of people who aren't mad enough to live in our
sick civilization.
     --Wilhelm Reich (1897-1957)
          as paraphrased by A.S. Neill (1883-1973) in his Introduction to Orson Bean.
          Me and the Orgone. New York: St Martin's Press, 1971, p.viii

---

Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion.
     --Kate Reid (1930-1993)

---

In the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, it's often useful to have a nice,
solid piece of wood in your hands.
     --Rob Reiner (born 1947)
        with Christopher Guest (born 1948), Michael McKean (born 1947)
        and Harry Shearer (born 1943)
          This is Spinal Tap, 1984 film
          spoken by Ian Faith, manager of Spinal Tap

---

Some idiosyncrasies you might be somewhat embarrassed about, others you
claim sole ownership to because of their ingeniousness. . . . But the
bottom line is this: nobody's playing with a full deck.
     --Judy Reiser (born mid-XXth century)
          And I Thought I Was Crazy!: Quirks, Idiosyncrasies and Meshugaas.
          New York: Katalin Media (original edition: New York: Simon & Schuster),
          1980/2001, p.144

---

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
     --Jules Renard (1864-1910)

---

All-knowing Zeus, give me what is best for me. Avert evil from me,
thought it be the thing I prayed for; and give me the good
which from ignorance I do not ask.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.363
          spoken by Sokrates

---

But our teacher says that the nature of Helios is a secret of the god;
and that a man's first business is to know himself, and seek the
source of light in his own soul. We don't eat everything we see,
but have to learn what our bodies can turn into good. So with the mind.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.356
          spoken by Lysis

---

Is it better to suffer evil, or to do it?
Sokrates says to do it is worse.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine. New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.236
          original: It is better to suffer wrong than to do wrong.
              --Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE). Gorgias, c.380 BCE

---

One exercises to be a whole man,
not a creature bred like a plough-ox
to do one thing.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.250
          spoken by Plato

---

Order is the first half of a decent life.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.287
          spoken by Xenophon

---

Pray rightly, that at each time of your life your desires may be
conformable, and do not fear; old age will come not to you, but to
another whom the gods will make ready.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine. New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.208
            spoken by a priest

---

We shall either find what we are seeking, or free ourselves
from the persuasion that we know what we do not know.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.380
            spoken by Sokrates

---

You never learn how much your courage owes to the wish for a good name
among men, to the eyes of lover and friends upon you, till you are alone
among enemies.
     --Mary Renault (1905-1983)
          The Last of the Wine. New York: Pantheon Books, 1956, p.148
          spoken by Alexias

---

I consider that women who are authors, lawyers and politicians
are monsters.
     --Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919)

---

A newspaper column, like a fish, should be consumed when fresh;
otherwise it is not only indigestible, but unspeakable.
     --James Reston (1909-1995)

---

It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
     --Quentin Reynolds [Quentin James Reynolds](1902-1965)
          I, Willie Sutton. New York: Farrar, Straus and Young, 1953,
          p.90; bank-robber Sutton's autobiography as told to Quentin Reynolds

---

Lying is done with words and also with silence.
     --Adrienne Rich (1929-2012)

---

Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
     --Little Richard [Richard Wayne Penniman](born 1932)
          quoted in Patrick Hughes. More on Oxymoron. New York: Penguin Books,
          1983, p.120

---

What a father says to his children is not heard by the world,
but it will be heard by posterity.
     --Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825)

---

The more bicep curls you do, the easier it is to pick people up.
     --Adam Rifkin (born mid-XXth century)

---

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program
in than some that do.
     --Dennis M. Ritchie [Dennis MacAlistair Ritchie](1941-2011)

---

A little bit of pain never hurt anybody.
     --Guy Ritchie [Guy Stuart Ritchie](born 1968)
          Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, 1998 film, spoken by Soap
          (Dexter Fletcher)

---

Everyone likes to say Hitler did this and Hitler did that. But the truth
is Hitler did very little. He was a world class asshole, but the
evil actually done, from the death camps to World War Two, was all
done by citizens who were afraid to question if what they were told
by their government was the truth or not, and who because they did
not want to admit to themselves that they were afraid to question
the government, refused to see the truth behind the Reichstag Fire,
refused to see the invasion by Poland was a staged fake, and
followed Hitler into national disaster.
     --Michael Rivero (born 1952)

---

Stopping terrorism is simple. Just quit screwing around with other people's
countries and the terrorists will go home. But the government of the United
States wants to go on screwing around with other people's countries,
refuses to stop, indeed views it as Manifest Destiny for the United States
government to persist in screwing around with other people's countries,
and views the inconvenience, increased tax burden, loss of civil
liberties, and even deaths among the American people as just another
cost of doing business.
     --Michael Rivero (born 1952)

---

The nearest I ever had to a mink coat when I was younger, I got me a coat
made out of chicken. It was quite effective, except when I walked down
the street, guys would grab my legs and make a wish.
     --Joan Rivers [Joan Alexandra Molinsky](born 1933)
          "Men's Furs", That Show, TV series, 3 November 1968

---

Hemingway was a jerk.
     --Harold Robbins (1916-1997)

---

The difference between us and Helen Keller is she knew she was deaf and blind.
     --Tom Robbins [Thomas Eugene Robbins](born 1936)

---

When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free.
    variants and parodies:
        When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will have freedom.
        When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
        When teaching evolution in schools is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve!
        When guns are outlawed, only Carl Rowan will have guns.
        When guns are outlawed, only outlaws' kids will shoot themselves accidentally.
        When Marriage is Outlawed, only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
     --Tom Robbins [Thomas Eugene Robbins](born 1936),
        Still Life With Woodpecker. London: Sidgwick and Jackson, 1980
        quoted by C.J. Stone in Fierce Dancing: Adventures in the
        Underground. London: Faber & Faber, 1996

---

I contend we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god
than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible
gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
     --Stephen F. Roberts
          quoted in Dianna Narciso. Like Rolling Uphill: Realizing the
          Honesty of Atheism. Coral Springs FL: Lumina Press, p.6

---

Make few explanations. The character that cannot defend itself
is not worth vindicating.
     --Frederick William Robertson (1816-1853)

---

If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it
more thought.
     --Dennis Roch (born 1973)

---

Il est du véritable amour comme de l'apparition des esprits:
tout le monde en parle, mais peu de gens en ont vu.
[There is real love just as there are real ghosts; every person speaks
of it, few persons have seen it.]
    variant: True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about
    and few have seen.
     --La Rochefoucauld [François VI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No.76 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

Il n'y a point de gens qui aient plus souvent tort que ceux qui
ne peuvent souffrir d'en avoir.
[No people are more often wrong than those who will not allow themselves
to be wrong.]
     --  La Rochefoucauld [FrançoisVI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No.386 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

L'esprit nous sert quelquefois à faire hardiment des sottises.
[Wit sometimes enables us to act rudely with impunity.]
     --  La Rochefoucauld [FrançoisVI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No. 415 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

Les vieillards aiment à donner de bons préceptes, pour se
consoler de n'être plus en état de donner de mauvais exemples.
[Old men delight in giving good advice as a consolation for the fact
that they can no longer set bad examples.]
     --La Rochefoucauld [François VI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No.93 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

Notre repentir n'est pas tant un regret du mal que nous avons fait,
qu'une crainte de celui qui nous en peut arriver.
[Our repentance is not so much sorrow for the ill we have done as fear
of the ill that may happen to us.]
    variant: Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done
        as the fear of the consequences.
     --  La Rochefoucauld [FrançoisVI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No. 180 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

Nous aimons toujours ceux qui nous admirent;
et nous n'aimons pas toujours ceux que nous admirons.
[We always like those who admire us,
we do not always like those whom we admire.]
     --  La Rochefoucauld [FrançoisVI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          No. 294 in J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827

---

Quand on ne trouve pas son repos en soi-même,
il est inutile de le chercher ailleurs.
[When we are unable to find peace of mind in ourselves,
it is useless to seek it elsewhere.]
     --La Rochefoucauld [François VI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
          J.W. Willis Bund & J. Hain Friswell (Translators).
          Reflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections: or
          Sentences and Moral Maxims]. London: Simpson Low, Son & Marston,
          1678/1827, No.VIII in the First Supplement, originally in the 1665 edition,
          among the entries suppressed by the author in later editions

---

He's dead, Jim.
    parodies:
        It's Ensign Hurricane. He's dead, Jim.
        It's Ensign Pillsbury. He's bread, Jim.
        Ensign Dracula? He's undead Jim.
        It's Ensign Ketchup. He's red, Jim.
        It's Ensign Prisoner. He's Fled, Jim.
        It's Ensign Rosebud. She's sled, Jim.
        It's Ensign Goodyear. He's tread, Jim.
        It's Ensign Clampett. He's Jed, Jim.
        It's Ensign Flintstone. He's Fred, Jim.
        It's Ensign Bodine. He's dim, Jed.
        It's Ensign Plumber. He's lead, Jim.
        "It's Ensign Heisenberg! He's dead, Jim!"
            "Are you sure, Bones?"
        He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder -- I'll get his wallet!
        He's DEAD, Jim! Dibs on the white meat!
        He's mostly dead Jim. Get Miracle Max!
        He's not dead, he's 'metabolically challenged', Jim!
     --Gene Roddenberry (1921-1991)
        et al.
          Star Trek, TV series, 1966-1969
          spoken by Dr Leonard 'Bones' McCoy (DeForest Kelley), multiple episodes;
          see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_McCoy#.22He.27s_dead.2C_Jim..22
          for an interesting discussion of the cultural impact of this saying

---

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God,
who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
     --Gene Roddenberry [Eugene Wesley Roddenberry](1921-1991)

---

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood,
    perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past,
    there must have been a moment of truth
For here you are, standing there, loving me,
    whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood,
    I must have done something good
Nothing comes from nothing,
    nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood,
    I must have done something good.
     --Richard Rodgers (1902-1979)
          "Something Good", duet from the film version of
          The Sound of Music (1965) (included in some later stage revivals)
          sung by Maria (Julie Andrews) and the Captain (Christopher Plummer)
          about being so lucky to be together
          Used by Elaine Stritch to close her live show, "Elaine Stritch, At
          Liberty", shown on HBO, 2004
          (NOTE: while Oscar Hammerstein II (1895-1960) wrote the lyrics for the
          stage show, this song was added to the film, which was produced five
          years after Hammerstein's death; according to IMDb and other sources,
          Rodgers wrote both words and music for the movie's new songs)

---

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
     --Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917)
        response when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues

---

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
     --Paul Rodriguez (born 1955)
          as quoted in Los Angeles Times, 16 November 1987
          often (probably incorrectly) attributed to Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

---

First we must develop trust,
Then there will come understanding --
    and as we understand, we come to have peace,
And once peace is accomplished,
    there will be time to love.
     --James M. Rogers Jr (born mid-XXth century)
        1972 Teacher of the Year
        The Afro-American (newspaper), 6 May 1972, p.12

---

Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great.
     --Kenny Rogers (born 1938)

---

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!" until you can
find a rock.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)
        quote also attributed to Wynn Catlin

---

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are
for finishing it . . . . You take diplomacy out of war, and the
thing would fall flat in a week.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just
sit there.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like
to run their own business. I know men that would make my wife a better
husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have
the whole government working for you.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

Tilt this country on end and everything loose will slide into Los Angeles.
    variant [usually attributed to Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)]:
        Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in
        Los Angeles.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)
          quoted in The Washington Post, 17 May 1964

---

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb
and clap as they go by.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every
war they kill you in a new way.
     --Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)

---

People who can't change their minds are in danger of losing them.
     --Frederick Rolfe [Baron Corvo](1860-1913)
          Letter to Harry Pirie-Gordon, quoted in A.J.A. Symons. The Quest for Corvo. East Lansing: Michigan State University Press, 1955, p.231

---

Whatever is of good, a man must get not from a teacher, but from his own toil.
    more complete quote: Whatever is of good, a man must get not from
        a teacher, but from his own toil.


        The man who wants to write Good English will, ultimately, write good
        English, and his work will have the supreme merit of being rare.


        So this mighty Alma Mater of Oxford does well not to teach the
        preservation of unsplit infinitives. She teaches you how to teach
        yourself, and that is all, and all is everything, and there is
        nothing more.
     --Frederick Rolfe [Baron Corvo](1860-1913)
          Letter to unknown friend, quoted in A.J.A. Symons. The Quest for Corvo. East Lansing: Michigan State University Press, 1955, p.173

---

Do you see now that your self-righteousness was nothing more than
breeding and years of privilege? You know, we are one nation under a
god. Yes, you were right. An angry, crack slinging god who decorates
with bullets and spent condoms, a blind god whose eyes are just like yours.
     --Henry Rollins (born 1961)
          Solipsist. Los Angeles: 2.13.61 [sic], 1998

---

Everyone should have kids. They're the greatest joy in the world.
But they're also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're
born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
     --Ray Romano (born 1957)

---

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
     --Hugh Romney [Wavy Gravy](born 1936)
          "Wavy Gravy Raps", The Realist, January/February 1971, p.11

---

The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books -- how
not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
     --Andy Rooney (1919-2011)

---

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the
things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
     --Andy Rooney (1919-2011)

---

Look, I could have stayed married to one woman, but I wanted a
second opinion.
     --Mickey Rooney (1920-2014)
          Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Jimmy Stewart, TV special, 1978

---

You've got a death wish. So selfish. [pause] I have one too, but I
direct it toward others.
     --Don Roos (born 1955)
          The Opposite of Sex, 1998 film, spoken by Lucia DeLury (Lisa Kudrow)

---

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will,
I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement
for the people.
     --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
          Letter to Francis Cardinal Spellman, Archbishop of New York, 23 July 1949

---

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
     --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

---

Spiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal
power should not become too important in any church.
     --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
          Letter to Francis Cardinal Spellman, Archbishop of New York, 23 July 1949;
          quoted in Joseph P. Lash. Eleanor and Franklin: The Story of Their
          Relationship Based on Eleanor Roosevelt's Private Papers. New York: New
          American Library, 1971, p.159

---

Those of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to
whatever church he sees fit, and to worship God in his own way, cannot be
accused of prejudice when we do not want to see public education connected
with religious control of the schools, which are paid for by taxpayers'
money.
     --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
          "My Day" (newspaper column), 23 June 1949

---

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has
never learned how to walk forward.
     --Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
        32nd president of the United States of America

---

The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the contry demands
bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method
and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all,
try something.
     --Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
        32nd president of the United States of America
          Address at Oglethorpe College, 22 May 1932

---

Flaming youth has become a flaming question. And youth comes to us
wanting to know what we propose to do about a society that hurts
so many of them.
     --Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
        32nd president of the United States of America
          Address to the Young Democratic Club, Baltimore, Maryland, 13 April 1936

---

All daring and courage, all iron endurance of misfortune -- make for
a finer, nobler type of manhood.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          The Great Adventure. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1918
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes
on the stars and keep your feet on the ground.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          Speech at Prize Day Exercises, Groton School, 24 May 1904
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an
individual and of nations alike.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          American Ideals. New York: Putnam, 1897
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Courage, hard work, self-mastery, and intelligent effort are all
essential to successful life.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          America and the World War. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1915
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America

---

I want to see you game, boys, I want to see you brave and manly,
and I also want to see you gentle and tender.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          Address at Friends School, 24 May 1907
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          The Strenuous Life. New York: Century, 1901
          (originally a speech given in Illinois on 10 April 1899)
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
          26th president of the United States of America

---

A man's usefulness depends upon his living up to his ideals insofar as
he can.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th president of the United States of America
          Letter to Dr Sturgis Bigelow, 29 March 1898
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit
to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life.
     --Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
        26th president of the United States of America
          Address before the Naval War College, June 1897
          inscribed in the rotunda of the Museum of Natural History,
          77th Street at Central Park West, New York City

---

Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting.
     --Billy Rose (1899-1966)
          quoted in Lynn Haney. Gregory Peck: A Charmed Life.
          New York: Carroll & Graf Publishers, 2003

---

You teach your son to think, not guess,
Then find, perhaps with rue
He learns to think with great success,
But not the way you do!
     --Elinor K. Rose (1910-1993)

---

What happens to men when they grow old? Why do they forget
everything? . . . I believe when men grow old, and sexual things
no longer matter to them, they forget it all. They forget
what passion is.
     --William Rose (1914-1987)
          screenwriter, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, 1967 film
          spoken by Mrs Prentice (Beah Richards), trying to understand why
          Mr Prentice (Roy E. Glenn Sr) and Matt Drayton (Spencer Tracy) can't
          accept the romance between their offspring, Dr John Prentice (Sidney
          Poitier) and Joey Drayton (Katharine Houghton)

---

Aside from babies, is there anyone more selfish than the dead?
     --Michael A. Ross (born 1956)
          Andy Richter Controls the Universe, TV series,
          "Grief Counselor", 26 March 2002, spoken by Keith (James Patrick Stuart)

---

Piss on self esteem.
     --Gavin Rossdale (born 1965)
          "Swallowed", from the Bush album Razorblade Suitcase, 1996

---

Better by far you should forget and smile
than that you should remember and be sad.
     --Christina G. Rossetti (1830-1894)

---

Beauty without the beloved is like a sword through the heart.
     --Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828-1882)
          widely quoted, unsourced, sometimes credited to I.A.R. Wylie [Ida Alexa
          Ross Wylie] (1885-1959), who attributed it to Rossetti when she quoted it
          in her The Young in Heart, A romantic comedy in three acts.
          London: Longmans, Green and Co., 1941 (adapted from her
          Saturday Evening Post story, "The Gay Banditti" [1938])
          ". . . we see things really best through the eyes of those
          we love. . . . Beauty without the beloved is like a sword
          through the heart." [p.29]

---

Mr Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
     --Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

---

Here comes, thank God, another enemy!
     --Edmond Rostand [Edmond Eugène Alexis Rostand](1868-1918)
          Cyrano de Bergerac, 1897 play

---

Kill a man, and you are an assassin. Kill millions of men, and you are a
conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god.
     --Jean Rostand (1894-1977)

---

To be adult is to be alone.
     --Jean Rostand (1894-1977)

---

Conservative: One who admires radicals a century after they're dead.
    variants: A conservative is someone who admires radicals
    century after they're dead.
    A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
     --Leo Rosten (1908-1997)
          quoted in Ralph Louis Woods. The Modern Handbook of Humor.
          New York: McGraw Hill, 1967

---

Where was it ever promised us that life on this earth can ever be easy,
free from conflict and uncertainty, devoid of anguish and wonder and
pain? Those who seek the folly of unrelieved "happiness" -- who
fear moods, who shun solitude, who do not know the dignity of occasional
depression -- can find bliss easily enough: in tranquilizing pills, or
in senility. The purpose of life is not to be happy.
     --Leo Rosten (1908-1997)

---

I learned that only the weak are cruel, and that
  gentleness can only be expected from the strong.
      variant: The weak men are cruel. Gentleness is found in men
          who are strong.
              --as quoted by Nancy Sinatra on The David Frost Show (television),
                  20 May 1970
     --Leo C. Rosten (1908-1997)
          Captain Newman, M.D.. New York: Harper & Bros./London: Victor
          Gollancz, 1961, p. 328

---

A technique is a trick that works.
     --Gian-Carlo Rota (1932-1999)

---

The "Rotary" four-way test of the things
we do, say or think:


Is it the truth?


Is it fair to all concerned?


Will it build goodwill and better friendships?


Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
     --The Rotary Club

---

Do not make excuses unless you have to.
     --Eric Roth (born 1945)
          Forrest Gump, 1994 film, spoken by Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

---

In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
     --Erasmus of Rotterdam [Desiderius Erasmus](1466-1536)

---

M[ARCUS]. TULLIUS [CICERONIS] . . . DIVINITAS OCCUPARIT
ATQUE HOC MEUM IUDICIUM MIHI MAGIS BLANDITUR
QUOTIES ANIMO REPUTO QUAM IMMENSA SIT QUAMQUE
IN AESTIMABILIS AETERNI NUMINIS BENIGNITAS QUAM
QUIDAM (certain ones) EX INGENIO OPINOR SUO NIMIS (too much)
IN ANGUSTUM (into one place [a narrow frame of reference])
CONTRAHERE (confine) CONANTUR
[approximate translation: In Cicero . . . there was divinity.
I am pleased with my own judgment, that there was benevolence
in the eternal godhead, which some try to confine to a
small area (the Church).](In other words, the Church isn't
the only place were one may find God.)
     --Erasmus of Rotterdam [Desiderius Erasmus](1466-1536)

---

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
     --Erasmus of Rotterdam [Desiderius Erasmus](1466-1536)

---

Take the course opposite to custom and you will almost always do well.
     --Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)

---

Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.
     --Helen Rowland (1875-1950)

---

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but
to a man it is the beginning of the end.
     --Helen Rowland (1875-1950)

---

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
     --Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

---

If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michaelangelo, a known
homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while assigning
Anita [Bryant] to go on tv and push orange juice?
     --Mike Royko (1932-1997)

---

I want to have children and I know my time is running out: I want to
have them while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
     --Rita Rudner (born 1953)

---

Fear makes men believe the worst.
     --Quintus Curtius Rufus (born mid-I century)

---

I would rather suffer defeat than have cause to be ashamed of victory.
     --Quintus Curtius Rufus (born mid-I century)

---

"Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
speeds faster than 85 MPH (140kph)." Buick is my kind of car company.
     --John D. Rugge
        Birmingham, Michigan
          Letter to the editor in Car and Driver, Volume 33, 1988, p.16,
          noting a presumed misprint from the 1987 Buick Grand National owners
          manual, page 5-13

---

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.
     --Muriel Rukeyser (1913-1980)

---

You are another version of the divine book.
You are a mirror of the beauty of God that created the universe.
Whatever exists in the World, it's not outside of you.
Whatever you ask for, ask for it in yourself, seek it in yourself.
variant: Look inside yourself;
    everything that you want,
    you are already That.
     --Rumi [Mawlānā Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī/Rūmī](1207-1273)
          Şefik Can. Fundamentals of Rumi's Thought: A Mevlevi Sufi Perspective.
          Somerset NJ: The Light, Inc., p.257

---

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong,
but that's the way the smart money bets.
     --Damon Runyon [Alfred Damon Runyon](1880-1946)
          E.C. Bentley, Editor. More Than Somewhat. London: Constable, 1937
          a parody of Ecclesiastes IX:11; also attributed to Hugh Keough (1864-1912),
          Chicago sportswriter, in Chicago Tribune, 10 May 1936

---

The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it,
but what he becomes by it.
     --John Ruskin (1819-1900)

---

Africans had to be taught that nudity is wicked; this was done very
cheaply by missionaries.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          The Impact of Science on Society, Chapter II: "General Effects
          of Scientific Technique", New York: Simon & Schuster, 1952, p.32

---

Certain mental habits are commonly instilled by those who are engaged in
educating: obedience and discipline, ruthlessness in the struggle for
worldly success, contempt towards opposing groups, and an unquestioning
credulity, a passive acceptance of the teacher's wisdom. All these habits
are against life. . . . Education is treated as a means of acquiring power
over the pupil, not as a means of nourishing his own growth. . . .
Passive acceptance of the teacher's wisdom is easy to most boys and girls.
It involves no effort of independent thought. . . . Yet the habit
of passive acceptance is a disastrous one in later life. It causes man to
seek and to accept a leader, and to accept as a leader whoever is
established in that position.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Principles of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, pp.155-163; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral was,
as we see in . . . passages from St Paul [I Corinthians VII:1-9], based
upon the view that all sexual intercourse, even within marriage, is
regrettable. A view of this sort, which goes against biological facts,
can only be regarded by sane people as a morbid aberration. The fact
that it is embedded in Christian ethics has made Christianity
throughout its whole history a force tending towards mental disorders
and unwholesome views of life.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Marriage and Morals. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1929

---

Discipline, as it exists in schools, is very largely an evil. There is
a kind of discipline which is necessary to almost all achievement,
and which perhaps is not sufficiently valued by those who react against
the purely external discipline of traditional methods. The desirable
kind of discipline is the kind that comes from within, which consists
in the power of pursuing a distant object steadily, forgoing and
suffering many things on the way. . . . Such
discipline springs from one's own will, not from outside authority.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Princicples of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, pp.158-159; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not
utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind,
a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Marriage and Morals. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1929

---

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation,
or creed.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

I do not think there can be any defence for the view that knowledge is
ever undesirable. . . . A person is much less likely to act wisely when
he is ignorant than when he is instructed, and it is ridiculous to give
young people a sense of sin because they have a natural curiosity about
an important matter.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization? An Examination
          and a Criticism. London: Watts & Co., 1930, "Christianity and
          Sex", p.9

---

I was not born happy. . . . Now, on the contrary, I enjoy life . . . due
to a diminishing preoccupation with myself.
more complete quote: I was not born happy. As a child, my favourite
    hymn was 'Weary of earth and laden with my sin.' At the age of five, I
    reflected that, if I should live to be seventy, I had only endured, so
    far a fourteenth part of my whole life, and I felt the long-spread-out
    boredom ahead of me to be almost unendurable. In adolescence, I hated
    life and was continually on the verge of suicide, from which, however,
    I was restrained by the desire to know more mathematics. Now, on the
    contrary, I enjoy life; I might almost say that with every year that
    passes I enjoy it more. This is due partly to having discovered what
    were the things that I most desired and having gradually acquired
    many of these things. Partly it is due to having successfully dismissed
    certain objects of desire - such as the acquisition of indubitable
    knowledge about something or other - as essentially unattainable.
    But very largely it is due to a diminishing preoccupation with myself.
    Like others who had a Puritan education, I had the habit of meditating
    on my sins, follies, and shortcomings. I seemed to myself - no doubt
    justly - a miserable specimen. Gradually I learned to be indifferent
    to myself and my deficiencies; I came to centre my attention
    increasingly upon external objects: the state of the world, various
    branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          The Conquest of Happiness. London: George Allen & Unwin/New York:
          Liveright, 1930

---

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight
to moralists. That is why they invented Hell.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          "On the value of scepticism", the introduction to
          Sceptical Essays. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1928

---

It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact
legal definition; in the practice of the Courts, it means "anything
that shocks the magistrate."
    variant: Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if
so, it will be necessary first to slay the dragon that guards the door,
and this dragon is religion.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization? An Examination
          and a Criticism. London: Watts & Co., 1930, "Christianity and
          Sex", p.30

---

The joy of mental adventure is far commoner in the young than in grown
men and women. Among children it is very common, and grows naturally out
of the period of make-believe and fancy. It is rare in later life
because everything is done to kill it during education.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Principles of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, Chapter V, p.165; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in
the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied
with bad ones.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin,
more even than death.
    more complete quote: The joy of mental adventure is far commoner
        in the young than in grown men and women. Among children it is very
        common, and grows naturally out of the period of make-believe and
        fancy. It is rare in later life because everything is done to kill it
        during education. Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on
        earth -- more than ruin, more even than death. . . . It is fear that
        holds men back -- fear lest their cherished beliefs should prove
        delusions, fear lest the institutions by which they live should prove
        harmful, fear lest they themselves should prove less worthy of respect
        than they have supposed themselves to be. . . . No institution inspired
        by fear can further life. Hope, not fear, is the creative principle in
        human affairs. All that has made man great has sprung from the attempt
        to secure what is good, not from the struggle to avert what was
        thought evil.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Principles of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, Chapter V, pp.165-167; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

Morality in sexual situations, when it is free from superstitions, consists
essentially of respect for the other person, and unwillingness to use that
person solely as a means of personal gratification without regard to his or
her desires.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Marriage and Morals. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1929

---

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the
belief that one's work is terribly important.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

People seem good while they are oppressed but they only wish to become
oppressors in their turn. . . . Life is nothing but a competition to be
the criminal rather than the victim.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          quoted in Ronald W. Clark. The Life of Bertrand Russell. London:
          Jonathan Cape/Weidenfeld & Nicholson, 1975, p.390

---

The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego
ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering
with the pleasures of others.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

The prevention of free inquiry is unavoidable so long as the purpose of
education is to produce belief rather than thought, to compel the young
to hold positive opinions on doubtful matters rather than to let them see
the doubtfulness and be encouraged to independence of mind. Education
ought to foster the wish for truth, not the conviction that some particular
creed is the truth. . . .In those whose minds are not very active the
result is the omnipotence of prejudice; while the few whose thought cannot
be wholly killed become cynical, intellectually hopeless, destructively
critical, able to make all that is living seem foolish, unable themselves
to supply the creative impulses which they destroy in others.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Principles of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, pp.153-154; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

The psychology of adultery has been falsified by conventional morals which
assume, in monogamous countries, that attraction to one person cannot
coexist with a serious affection for another. Everybody knows that this is
untrue.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Marriage and Morals. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1929
          Chapter 16: Divorce

---

"Should the working man think freely about property? Then what will
become of us, the rich? Should young men and young women think freely
about sex? Then what will become of morality? Should soldiers think freely
about war? Then what will become of military discipline? Away with
thought! Back into the shades of prejudice, lest property, morals, and war
should be endangered! Better men should be stupid, slothful, and
oppressive than that their thoughts should be free. For if their thoughts
were free they might not think as we do. And at all costs this disaster
must be averted." So the opponents of thought argue in the
unconscious depths of their souls. And so they act in their churches,
their schools, and their universities.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Principles of Social Reconstruction. London: George Allen & Unwin,
          1916, p.166; first published in America as Why Men Fight:
          A Method of Abolishing the International Duel. New York: Century, 1917

---

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels
in praise of intelligence; and in this respect ministers of religion
follow gospel authority more closely than in some others. This must
be reckoned as a serious defect in the ethics taught in Christian
educational establishments.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Education and the Social Order. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1932, p.73

---

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate,
because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can
understand.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          The History of Western Philosophy. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1946, p.90

---

There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily
respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very
much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account
value him less.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)

---

To fear love is to fear life,
and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          Marriage and Morals. London: George Allen & Unwin, 1929
          Chapter 19: Sex and Individual Well-Being

---

To realize the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          quoted in H.T. Costello (Columbia University), "Review of An Enquiry
          Concerning the Principles of Natural Knowledge, by Alfred North
          Whitehead" [Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1919], The Journal of
          Philosophy, Psychology and Scientific Methods, Volume XVII,
          January-December 1920, p.330

---

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the
intelligent are full of doubt.
     --Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
          "The Triumph of Stupidity" (10 May 1933) in
          Mortals and Others: Bertrand Russell's American Essays, 1931-1935.
          London: Allen and Unwin, 1975, pp.203-204

---

Don't associate naïvete with children. . . . They don't even know what
it means. Heaven lies all around us in our infancy. To enter that world,
we must see with the eyes of children and hear with the ears of children.
     --Ken Russell (1927-2011)
          Mahler, 1974 film, spoken by Gustav Mahler (Robert Powell)

---

Some people say, 'If you have homosexual teachers,
you're automatically going to have homosexual students'.


I don't know about that theory. Because if it were true,
today I would be a nun.
     --Mark Russell (born 1932)

---

Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments
you will have the strength to break.
     --Mark Russell (born 1932)

---

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
     --Ernest Rutherford [1st Baron Rutherford of Nelson](1871-1937)

---

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a
thousand head-bowings in prayer.
     --Saadi [Abu-Muhammad Muslih al-Din bin Abdallah Shirazi, Saadi Shirazi](1184-c.1283)

---

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
     --Hassan-i Sabbah [Hasan ibn al-Sabbah](c.1050-1124)
        first recorded leader of the Assassin Order
          Vladimir Bartol. Alamut. Ljubljana: Zalozba Modra Ptica, 1938

---

Showers are the opiate of the fragrant.
     --David Sacks (born mid-XXth century)
          3rd Rock from the Sun, TV series, "Sally Forth;", 9 February 1999
          spoken by Dr Dick Solomon (John Lithgow)

---

Love cannot exist without the bad breath and bad jokes and bad faith that
come when you get into another person. When that person leaves, he takes
his bad things with him. And in his place is an emptiness so huge that
your soul cries out for its demons like you wouldn't believe.
     --Douglas Sadownick (born 1959)
          Sacred Lips of the Bronx. New York: St Martin's Press, 1994

---

Another writer again agreed with all my generalities, but said that as an
inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth. Most notably I have
ignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old. Well, I
haven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and then
rejected it. There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say,
between prejudice and postjudice. Prejudice is making a judgment before
you have looked at the facts. Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards.
Prejudice is terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make
serious mistakes. Postjudice is not terrible. You can't be perfect of
course; you may make mistakes also. But it is permissible to make a
judgment after you have examined the evidence. In some circles it is even
encouraged.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
          "The Burden Of Skepticism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume 12 Number 1, Fall 1987

---

I believe that part of what propels science is the thirst for wonder.
It's a very powerful emotion. All children feel it. In a first grade
classroom everybody feels it; in a twelfth grade classroom almost nobody
feels it, or at least acknowledges it. Something happens between first
and twelfth grade, and it's not just puberty. Not only do the schools and
the media not teach much skepticism, there is also little encouragement of
this stirring sense of wonder. . . . We do not teach how to think.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
          "The Burden Of Skepticism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume 12 Number 1, Fall 1987

---

I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And
in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the
additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
          "The Burden Of Skepticism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume 12 Number 1, Fall 1987

---

I'm often asked the question, "Do you think there is extraterrestrial
intelligence?" I give the standard arguments - there are a lot of
places out there, and use the word billions, and so on. And then I
say it would be astonishing to me if there weren't extraterrestrial
intelligence, but of course there is as yet no compelling evidence for it.
And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you really think?" I say,
"I just told you what I really think." "Yeah, but what's
your gut feeling?" But I try not to think with my gut. Really, it's
okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
          "The Burden Of Skepticism", The Skeptical Inquirer,
          Volume 12 Number 1, Fall 1987

---

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create
the universe.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)

---

They laughed at Einstein.
They laughed at the Wright Brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)

---

Wow! There must be hundreds of them!
     --Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
        at age 8

---

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
     --Françoise Sagan (1935-2004)

---

I'm marrying my girlfriend of seven years -- that's her age. . . . I love
her, I really do. I'm just nuts over her -- she's about this tall.
[He illustrates, with his hand about three feet from the floor.]
     --Bob Saget (born 1956)
          An Evening at the Improv, TV series, 23 April 1982

---

Woody Guthrie had a sign written on the back of his guitar,
reading, "This is a machine to kill fascists". He didn't
have long hair down his back -- he didn't turn on -- he
didn't get lost when the battle was at its height.
     --Mort Sahl (born 1927)
          KHJ-TV, 25 January 1970

---

Beauty is the radiance of truth.
     --St Augustine (354-430 CE)
          quoted by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886-1969) in his Inaugural Address as
          Director of Architecture at Armour Institute of Technology, 20 November
          1938; in Fritz Neumeyer (translated by Mark Jarzombek). The Artless
          Word: Mies van der Rohe on the Building Arts. Cambridge MA: MIT Press,
          1991, p.317; also sometimes credited to Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910), or Vincent
          McNabb (1868-1943), or St Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), or Plato (died 348 BCE)
          ka.main.beauty.truth.age11.

---

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but
when there is nothing left to take away.
     --Antoine de St Exupéry [Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint Exupéry](1900-1944)

---

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's the same
damn thing over and over!
     --Edna St Vincent Millay (1892-1950)
          the idea, with varying wording depending on which biographer is reporting
          it, came from a letter to Arthur Davison Ficke, October 1930,
          according to en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Edna_St._Vincent_Millay

---

If you can conceive of morality without god, why can you not conceive of
society without government?
     --Peter Saint-André (born mid-XXth century)

---

You always need to make
    ideals clear to yourself.
You always have to be aware of them,
    even if there is no direct path to their realization.
Were there no ideals, there would be no hope whatsoever.
Then everything would be hopelessness, darkness -- a blind alley.
     --Andrei Sakharov (1921-1989)

---

Why don't you try going to High School. Everyone hates you. You don't ask
'Why', everyone just hates you. . . . It teaches you not to give a rat's ass.
     --David Saks (born mid-XXth century)
          3rd Rock from the Sun, TV series, "Sally and Don's First Kiss;"6 May 1998
          spoken by Tommy Solomon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

---

It takes a lot of guts to be happy.
     --Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg (born 1961)

---

Why is it every time I write 'f', you see 'k'?
     --Soupy Sales [Milton Supman](1926-2009)

---

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to a teacher.
     --J.D. Salinger (1919-2010)

---

If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the
theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing
is safe.
     --Lord Salisbury [Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury, KG, GCVO, PC](1830-1903)
          Letter to Lord Lytton, 15 June 1877, in Lady Gwendolen Cecil. Life of
          Robert, Marquess of Salisbury. London: Hodder and Stoughton, Ltd.,
          1921/1932, Volume 2

---

It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.
    vairant: It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has
        exceeded our humanity.
     --Victor Salva (born 1958)
        Powder, 1995 film, spoken by Donald Ripley (Jeff Goldblum)
        often attributed to Albert Einstein (1879-1955), as is the following:
        "I fear the day when technology will surpass our humanity.
        The world will then be populated by a generation of idiots."

---

Where in the Nine Hells did you ever get the idea that I would fight fair?
     --R.A. Salvatore [Robert Anthony Salvatore](born 1959)
          The Crystal Shard. Hammondsworth, Middlesex: Penguin Books, 1988
          spoken by Drizzt Do'Urden

---

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
     --Heidi Sandige

---

A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should
survey the world.
     --George Santayana (1863-1952)

---

The need of exercise is a modern superstition, invented by
people who ate too much and had nothing to think about.
Athletics don't make anybody either long-lived or useful.
     --George Santayana (1863-1952)

---

Sanity is a madness put to good uses.
     --George Santayana (1863-1952)

---

Skepticism, like chastity should not be relinquished too readily.
     --George Santayana (1863-1952)

---

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.
     --Alan Saporta (born c.1970)

---

The world is a wonderful place and everyone should shut up and enjoy it
every once in a while.
     --Sarah
        otherwise unidentified student, age 12
        (reminiscent of Rodney King's famous plea, "Can we all get along?"
        [1992], usually misquoted as "Can['t] we all just get along?")

---

Kids are always the only future the human race has.
     --William Saroyan (1908-1981)
          "Kids are still kids, anymore". The Indianapolis Star,
          20 December 1970, p.7

---

Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic
flavor of every experience.
     --May Sarton [Eleanore Marie Sarton](1912-1995)
          "The Rewards of Living a Solitary Life", Op-Ed in The New
          York Times, 8 April 1974

---

Comme tous les songe-creux, je confondis le désenchantement avec la vérité.
[Like all dreamers, I confused disenchantment with truth.]
     --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
          Les Mots [The Words], Part 2: Écrire {Writing]
          New York: George Braziller, 1964, p.159
          autobiography; English translation by Bernard Frechtman; original French
          edition: Paris: Librairie Gallimard, 1964

---

Inez: For thirty years you dreamt you were a hero. . . .
Garcin: . . . It was no dream. When I chose the hardest path, I made my
    choice deliberately. A man is what he wills himself to be.
[Inez: Tu as révé trente ans que tu avais du cœur . . .
  Garcin: Je n'ai pas révé det héroïsme. Je l'ai choisi.
      On est ce qu'on veut.]
variant: I didn't just dream of being a hero. I determined
    to be one. You are what you want to be.
     --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
          Huis Clos [No Exit], first performed at Théâtre du Vieux-Colombier, Paris, May 1944
          adapted from the French by Paul Bowles. New York: Samuel French, 1958, p.50
          spoken by Vincent Cradeau (Garcin in the original French)

---

L'Enfer, c'est les Autres. [Hell is other people.]
     --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
          Huis Clos [No Exit], first performed at Théâtre du Vieux-Colombier, Paris, May 1944
          spoken by Garcin

---

Quand les riches se font la guerre ce sont les pauvres qui meurent.
[When the rich wage war it's the poor who die.]
     --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
          Le Diable et le bon Dieu [The Devil and the Good Lord], Act 1 Tableau 1, first performed at the Théâtre-Antoine in Paris on 7 June 1951

---

Tout a été prévu, sauf comment vivre.
[Everything has been figured out, except how to live.]
     --Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
          Les Mots [The Words] (autobiography). Paris: George Braziller, 1963

---

When encouraged as a social attitude, [optimism] is an infantilizing
force whieh removes the individual's conscious power to criticize,
refuse and doubt. Optimism, like patriotism, is the public tool of
scoundrels and ideologues.
     --John Ralston Saul (born 1947)
          The Doubter's Companion: A Dictionary of Aggressive Common Sense.
          Toronto: Viking/New York: Free Press, 1994

---

There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious . . .
that you can't even tacitly take part . . . you've got to put your bodies
on the gears, the levers and all the apparatus and you've got to indicate
to the people who run it and own it that unless you're free the machine
will be prevented from working at all.
     --Mario Savio (1943-1996)
          inscription included in mural on the side of the Amoeba Music building,
          Haste Street at Telegraph Avenue, Berkeley, California

---

Chrissy: See, the establishment doesn't want us having sex, because
    they know it makes us feel good, right? So, if we can feel good on our
    own, what do we need the establishment for? So, every time we have sex
    it's a huge protest.
Steven Hyde: You know what? I think I feel a huge protest coming on.
     --Dave Schiff (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Punk Chick", 21 June 1999

---

Es ist schimpflich eine Börse zu leeren - es ist frech, eine
Million zu veruntreuen, aber es ist namenlos gros, eine Krone zu stehlen.
Die Schande nimmt ab mit der wachsenden Sünde.
[It is disgraceful to empty a purse. It is impudent to embezzle a million.
But it is unutterably great to steal a crown. The dishonour decreases
as the transgression increases.
    variant: It is criminal to steal a purse.
        It is daring to steal a fortune.
        It is a mark of greatness to steal a crown.
        The blame diminishes as the guilt increases.]
     --Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)
          Fiesco (Die Verschwörung des Fiesco zu Genua [Fiesco's
          Conspiracy at Genoa]), first performed at the Hoftheater, Bonn, 1873;
          spoken by Fiesco

---

Nur die, die die Geduld haben, einfache Dinge perfekt zu machen werden
in der Lage sein, schwierige Dinge leicht zu machen.
[Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly
will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.]
     --Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)
          quoted by multiple sources in German and English, unsourced

---

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go
to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to
build railroads across a continent? In independent thought
about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it
takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil's view,
the simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American
life. First, a base of technology must exist from which to do
the thing to be done. Second, a period of national uneasiness
about America's place in the scheme of human activities must
exist. Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses
the national attention upon the direction to proceed. Finally,
an articulate and wise leader must sense these first three
conditions and put forth with words and action the great thing
to be accomplished. The motivation of young Americans to do what
needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of conditions. . . .
The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John Kennedys
appear. We must begin to create the tools of leadership which
they, and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us
onward and upward.
     --Harrison H. Schmitt [Dr Harrison Hagan 'Jack' Schmitt](born 1935)
        U.S. Senator from New Mexico (1977-1983), astronaut
          quoted in Penelope J. Boston. The Case for Mars V: Proceedings of the
          Fifth Case for Mars Conference Held May 26-29, 1993, at the University of
          Colorado, Boulder. Washington DC: American Astronomical Society, 2000, p.17

---

Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet.
     --Bruce Schneier (born 1963)

---

Frei bin ich, wenn ich thun kann, was ich will . . . Kanst du auch
wollen, was du willst?
[I am free when I can do what I want . . . Can you also want what you want?]
    variant: Ein Mensch kann zwar tun, was er will, aber nicht
    wollen, was er will.
    [A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.]
     --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
        "Über die Freiheit des menschlichen Willens"
        ["On the Freedom of Human Will"], Essay, 1841;
        the commonly-quoted variant version comes from an essay by
        Albert Einstein (1879-1955), "The World as I See It". Ideas and
        Opinions. New York: Bonanza, 1954, pp.8-9, in which Einstein presented
        it as a quote from Schopenhauer.

---

Ich glaube, daß wann der Tod unsere Augen schließt, wir in
einem Licht stehn, von welchem unser Sonnenlicht nur der Schatten ist.
[I believe that when death closes our eyes we shall awaken to a light
of which our sunlight is but the shadow.]
     --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
          Neue Paralipomena. Leipzig: Verlag von Philipp Reclam jun.,
          n.d. [c.1896], Entry 290, p.185

---

Wahrheit . . . nur ein kurzes Siegesfest beschieden ist, zwischen
den beiden langen Zeiträumen, wo sie als paradox verdammt und als
trivial geringgeschätzt wird.
{Truth . . . is only a short victory between the two long periods when
it is condemned as paradoxical and as trivial.]
    variant: All truth passes through three stages. First, it is
      ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as
      being self-evident.
     --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
          Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung [The World as Will and
          Representation], Vorrede [Preface], Leipzig: F.A. Brockhaus, 1819

---

Charlie Brown: What happened to fun?
Linus: Our insurance doesn't cover it.
     --Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)
          The Complete Peanuts, Volume 16: 1981-1982. Seattle: Fantagraphics Books, 2011

---

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
     --Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)
          adapted by Schulz from his Peanuts cartoon, 13 June 1980

---

I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.
     --Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)
          Peanuts, syndicated comic strip, 12 November 1959
              similar quote: I love humanity. It's people I can't stand.
                  --attributed widely to Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone
wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more
than one night."
     --Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)
          Peanuts, syndicated comic strip, spoken by Charlie Brown

---

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
     --Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)

---

Sometimes at the peak of intoxicating pleasures, I am visited by a
panic. . . . Life is designed to thwart ecstasy; whether we do it for
ourselves or something does it for us is a minor issue.
     --Lynne Sharon Schwartz (born 1939)
          Ruined By Reading: A Life in Books. Boston: Beacon Press, 1996

---

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I've got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky
     --Stephen Schwartz [Stephen Lawrence Schwartz](born 1948)
          "Corner of the Sky", from Pippin, first produced at the
          Imperial Theatre, New York City, 23 October 1972

---

Going to war without the French is like going deer-hunting without your
accordion.
     --Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf [Herbert Norman Schwarzkopf Jr](born 1934)

---

The idea of man leaving this earth and flying to another celestial body and
landing there and stepping out and walking over that body has a fascination
and a driving force that can get the country to a level of energy,
ambition, and will that I do not see in any other undertaking. I think if
we are honest with ourselves, we must admit that we needed that impetus
extremely strongly. I sincerely believe that the space program, with its
manned landing on the moon, if wisely executed, will become the spearhead
for a broad front of courageous and energetic activities in all the fields
of endeavour of the human mind - activities which could not be carried out
except in a mental climate of ambition and confidence which such a
spearhead can give.
     --Dr Martin Schwarzschild (1912-1997)
          Hearings, Reports and Prints of the Senate Committee on Aeronautical and
          Space Sciences. Washington DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 1964, p.84

---

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds
it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
     --Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

---

I think that no one should compel himself to show to others more of
his inner life than he feels it natural to show. We can do no more than
let others judge for themselves what we inwardly and really are, and do
the same ourselves with them. The one essential thing is that we strive
to have light in ourselves. Our strivings will be recognised by others,
and when people have light in themselves, it will shine out from them.
Then we get to know each other as we walk together in the darkness,
without needing to pass our hands over each other's faces, or to intrude
into each other's hearts.
     --Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)
          Memoirs of Childhood and Youth. New York: Macmillan, 1949

---

We have too long been occupied with the developing series of our own
philosophical systems, and have taken no notice of the fact that there is
a world-philosophy of which our Western philosophy is only a part. If,
however, one conceives philosophy as being a struggle to reach a view of
the world as a whole . . . one cannot avoid setting our own thought face to
face with that of the Hindus, and of the Chinese in the Far East.
     --Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)
          Philosophy of Civilisation. London: A. & C. Black, 1923

---

Reverence for life, veneratio vitæ, is the most direct and at
the same time the profoundest achievement of my will-to-live. . . .
My life carries its own meaning in itself. This meaning lies in my living
out the highest idea which shows itself in my will-to-live, the idea of
reverence for life.
     --Dr Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)
          Preface, Civilization and Ethics. London: A. & C. Black, 1923, p.xiii
          [NOTES: "Will-to-live" is Schweitzer's term for the essence of
          being in the world: the most basic, indeed instinctive nature of each
          living thing. The German version of his central philosophy, Reverence for
          Life, is usually rendered as Ehrfurcht vor dem Leben or Ehrfurcht
          gebührt allem Lebendigen.]

---

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret
are the things you didn't do.
     --Zachary Scott (1914-1965)
        

        Forms of this quote also have been attributed to Mark Twain;
        Rory Cochrane; Anon.; The Butthole Surfers ("Sweet Loaf"); and
        others. It was mentioned in The League of Gentlemen,
        Series 3 (2001), Episode 2 ("The One-Armed Man is King").
        

            Similar sentiments:
        

            Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
            it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
            --Sydney Smith (1771-1845)
        

            The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those
            which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
                --Helen Rowland (1875-1950)
        

            Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common-sense, and discover,
            when it is too late, that the only things one never regrets are
            one's mistakes.
                --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
                    The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
                    Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
                    London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 3, spoken by Lord Henry
                    Wotton; also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for
                    the Use of the Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.39
        

            To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development.
                --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
                    De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
                    written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
                    Robert Ross in 1905
        

            Any experience is better than no experience.
                --Chrissie Hynde (born 1951)
                    member of the rock band The Pretenders, stated as her motto in her
                    memoir, Reckless: My Life as a Pretender. New York: Doubleday,
                    2015, Chapter 12
        

            'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
                --Alfred Lord Tennyson [Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson, FRS](1809-1892)
                "In Memoriam A.H.H.", aka "The Way of the Soul", 1849
        

            I'd rather have something to forget, than nothing to remember.
                --Joey Martin [Joey Marie Martin Feek](1975-2016) and Rory Feek (born 1965)
                    "Nothing to Remember", from the album Can You Duet, 2015

---

The first revolution is when you change your mind.
more complete quote:
    A lot of times people see battles and skirmishes on TV and they say,
    "Ah ha, the revolution is being televised."
    No: the results of the revolution are being televised. The first
    revolution is when you change your mind about how you look at things,
    and see there might be another way to look at it that you have not
    been shown. What you see later on is the results of that, but that
    revolution, that change that takes place will not be televised.
     --Gil Scott-Heron (1949-2011)
          from Gil Scott-Heron: Black Wax, 1982 documentary film

---

It was a train of thought . . . it just didn't have a caboose.
     --Sean
          (ENG241, 11:30AM, Fall 1996)

---

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist . . .
     --Gen. John B. Sedgwick (1813-1864)
        last words

---

Fathers Day: Oh, my God, we forgot about Dad again. Let's get him
a gift that shows how little we know about him.
     --Jerry Seinfeld (born 1954)
          "Live with Kelly and Michael", ABC-TV, 13 June 2013

---

There must be more to life than having everything!
     --Maurice Sendak (1928-2012)
          Higglety Pigglety Pop! or, There Must Be More to Life.
          New York: Harper & Row, 1967; short film version produced by the
          National Film Board of Canada, 2010, is included on the Blu-ray release
          of Where the Wild Things Are, 2009 film

---

DUM DIFFERTUR VITA TRANSCURRIT
[While we are postponing, life speeds by.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          so.Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium [Moral Epistles to Lucilius],
          c.65 CE, Letter I - SENECA LUCILIO SUO SALUTEM

---

ERIPERE VITAM NEMO NON HOMINI POTEST AT NEMO MORTEM
[Anyone can stop a man's life, but no one his death.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Phœnissæ [The Phoenician Women], I:152

---

LEGES . . . NON PERSUADENT QUIA MINANTUR AT HAEC [PRAECEPTA] NON COGUNT
SED EXORANT
[Laws do not persuade just because they threaten; those (precepts),
however, do not coerce, but encourage.
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Epistulae Morales [Moral Letters], Book III Epistle XCIV

---

Money has never yet made anyone rich.
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)

---

NEMO QUAM BENE VIVAT SED QUAM DIU CURAT CUM OMNIBUS POSSIT CONTINGERE
UT BENE VIVANT UT DIU NULLI
[Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long,
although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly,
but within no man's power to live long.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium [Moral Epistles to Lucilius],
          c.65 CE, Letter XXII line 17

---

NON EST AD ASTRA MOLLIS E TERRIS VIA
[There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Hercules Furens, line 437, spoken by Megara, Hercules' wife

---

NON QUI PARVUM HABET SED QUI PLUS CUPIT PAUPER EST
[Not he who has little, but he who desires much, is poor.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium [Moral Epistles to Lucilius],
          c.65 CE, Letter II line 6

---

NON REFERT QUAM MULTOS SED QUAM BONOS HABEAS
[It is quality rather than quantity that matters.
    variant: It is not how many (things/books/possessions) you have,
        but how good (they are).]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium [Moral Epistles to Lucilius],
          c.65 CE, Letter XLV line 1

---

NULLUM MAGNUM INGENIUM SINE MIXTURA DEMENTIAE
[There is no great genius without a measure of madness.].
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          De Tranquillitate Animi, XVII
          also attributed to Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)

---

QUIDQUID DIXI CUM RECOGITO MUTIS INVIDEO
[When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb (i.e., mute) people.]
     --Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
          De Vita Beata [On the Happy Life], Dialogue VII, c.58 CE

---

As one friend to another said,
Saying goodbye to you is like
saying hello to someone else.
     --Harold Sensor
          Camp Fox, 12 July 1971

---

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive
and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing
rabbits singing about toilet paper.
     --Rod Serling [Rodman Edward "Rod" Serling](1924-1975)

---

As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be,
Christmas is.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than
the one who is never in doubt.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow.
Bigness means weakness.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or
television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Brotherhood is not so wild a dream as those who profit
by postponing it pretend.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

The chief cause of problems is solutions.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS Evening News commentary
          sometimes referred to as "Sevareid's Law"
              related comment: Our problems are mostly behind us.
              What we have to do now is fight the solutions. --Allen P. Stults (born 1913),
              quoted in Nick Poulos. "Stults hits government economic tampering".
              Chicago Tribune, 11 July 1975, p.C9; this article references the
              Sevareid quote

---

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year
to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Consultant: any ordinary guy more than fifty miles from home.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

I have never quite grasped the worry about the power of the press. After
all, it speaks with a thousand voices, in constant dissonance.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

I'm sort of a pessimist about tomorrow and an optimist about the day
after tomorrow.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Never underestimate your listener's intelligence, or
overestimate you listener's information.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is
power without humor.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

No man was ever more than about nine meals away from crime or suicide.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Saints are usually killed by their own people.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Wisdom is essential in a president, the appearance of
wisdom will do in a candidate.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

With breathtaking rapidity, we are destroying all that was lovely to look
at and turning America into a prison house of the spirit. The affluent
society, with relentless single-minded energy, is turning our cities,
most of suburbia and most of our roadways into the most affluent slum
on earth.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

You can't know who you are, as a nation or a people,
unless you know where you've been.
     --Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
          CBS News commentary

---

Being part of Libertarianism is like being a member of a nudist colony.
You're naked but no one is interested in looking at you.
     --Jay Severin (born 1951)

---

As the publishing industry implodes . . . like in the music industry,
there are too many people in power just milking a big check as long as
they can, and leaving their mess to the next guy. The new American Way.
     --Geoff Shackelford (born late-XXth century)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.600

---

You should smell a rat whenever you hear, "brand",
"platform", "branding the platform", "platforming
the brand", "repurposing", "monetizing",
"incentivizing", "commoditizing". Then there's
"tentpole", "pushback", "gaining traction" . . . I'm
getting dizzy. It's all a product of the MBAs of the world trying to
justify their degrees. They want to make everyone else feel stupid.
What's frightening is that now a lot of this corporate-speak is coming
from everyday folks and, worse, athletes. I actually heard a famous jock
say, "At the end of the day, the bottom line is, it is what it is.".
We're doomed!
     --Geoff Shackelford (born late-XXth century)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.599

---

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to
live in the real world.
     --Mary Shafer
        National Aeronautics and Space Administration (United States of America)
          posted to rec.aviation.military by
          shafer@ferhino.dfrc.nasa.gov (the author) on 16 January 1996

---

. . . happiness is a by-product, never to be won by him
who deliberately seeks it for its own sake. It is a mood
of satisfaction which comes with the successful pursuit of
some purpose or end which the subject regards as
worthy in itself; and its quality and permanence
depend upon the character of the end one is pursuing.
If one's end is ephemeral or is found to be
valueless as soon as it is attained, one's
happiness is bound to be equally fleeting, and one will
look back upon one's deeds and their rewards as alike
vain and delusory.
     --Robert Shafer (born c.1900)
          "Thomas Hardy", in Shafer's Christianity and Naturalism
          New Haven: Yale University Press, 1926, p. 278

---

To go through life and call it yours -- your life -- you first
have to get your own pain. Pain that's unique to you.
     --Peter Shaffer [Sir Peter Levin Shaffer, CBE](born 1926)
          Equus. New York: Atheneum, 1974, p.70
          first performed at the Royal National Theatre, London, July 1973
          spoken by Dr Martin Dysart

---

It isn't whether you win or lose, it's how much money you end up with.
     --Jack T. Shakespeare

---

And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but, being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice:
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy:
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be:
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, 1600-1601, I.iii.62-84,
          Polonius to his son, Laertes

---

Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          Henry IV, Part II, 1597-1598, IV.v, spoken by Henry IV

---

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, 1600-1601, III.i

---

Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          Julius Caesar, 1599-1600, III.i.273, spoken by Marcus Antonius

---

Glendower: I can call spirts from the vasty deep.
Hotspur: Why so can I, or so can any man.
    But will they come when you do call for them?
Glendower: Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
    The devil
Hotspur: And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil --
    By telling the truth. Tell truth and shame the devil.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
        Henry the Fourth, Part I, Act III, Scene 1, 52-58

---

I have of late -- but wherefore I know not -- lost all my mirth,
forgone all custom of exercises; and, indeed, it goes so heavily
with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me
a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you,
this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
with golden fire -- why it appears no other thing to me than a
foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.


What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite
in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in
action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the
beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me,
what is this quintessence of dust?
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, 1600-1601, II.ii

---

O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in't!
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Tempest, 1611-1612, V.i.181-184, spoken by Miranda
          (Prospero comments [end of l.184], "'T is new to thee.")

---

Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright.
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear,
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
        Romeo and Juliet, 1594-1595, I.v.42-45
        Romeo's soliloquy on first seeing Juliet

---

Soft you, a word or two before you go.
I have done the state some service, and they know't.
No more of that. I pray you, in your letters,
When you shall these unlucky deeds relate,
Speak of me as I am. Nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice. Then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely, but too well.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice, 1604-1605, V.ii.334-340
          Othello to Lodovico, Cassio, Montano, Gratiano and Iago

---

'T is the mind that makes the body rich.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          The Taming of the Shrew, 1593-1594, IV.iii.168, Petruchio to Katharina

---

They'll have me whipped for speaking true; thou'lt have me whipped for
lying; and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          King Lear, 1605-1606, I.iv, spoken by The Fool

---

When, in disgrace with fortune and mens eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this mans art and that mans scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heavens gate;
    For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
    That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          Sonnet XXIX, 1609
          quoted in the play Fortune and Men's Eyes, 1967, Act II

---

Wisdom and goodness to the vile seem vile.
Filths savour but themselves.
     --William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
          King Lear, 1606, IV.ii.38-39, Duke of Albany to Goneril

---

They say you're crazy
cause you not crazy enough
to kneel when told to kneel.
     --Assata Shakur [Assata Olugbala Shakur](born 1947)
          "Rhinocerous Woman", from ASSATA: An Autobiography.
          London: Zed Books, 1987, pp.62-64

---

To make a child in your own image is a capital crime, for your
image is not worth repeating. The child knows this and you know it.
Consequently you hate each other.
     --Karl Shapiro [Karl Jay Shapiro](1913-2000)
          The Bourgeois Poet. New York: Random House, 1964

---

My mental facilities are twice what yours are -- you pea brain!
     --Margery Sharp (1905-1991)
        and others
          The Rescuers Down Under, 1990 film, spoken by Percival C. McLeach

---

Blood's not thicker than money.
     --Melville Shavelson (1917-2007)
          Double Dynamite, 1951 film, spoken by Emile J. Keck (Groucho Marx)

---

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

A child hasn't a grown-up person's appetite for affection. A little of
it goes a long way with them; and they like a good imitation of it
better than the real thing, as every nurse knows.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their
tastes may not be the same.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to
the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an
international reputation for myself by thinking once a week.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition,
and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend upon the support of Paul.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way of
getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

If you leave the smallest corner of your head vacant for a
moment, other people's opinions will rush in from all quarters.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it
ceases to be serious when people laugh.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything,
and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my
notions have only wasted my time.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Martyrdom . . . is the only way a person can become famous without ability.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
          The Devil's Disciple: A Melodrama, New York: Brentano's Publishers,
          1906, p.56; first produced in London, 1897; Act III, spoken by General
          Burgoyne to Major Swindon

---

Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other
countries because you were born in it.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read
made him mad.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Reasonable men adapt to the world. Unreasonable men adapt the world to
themselves. That's why all progress depends on unreasonable men.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: In suicide you take it
out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a
moment's notice to reveal the will of God on every possible subject.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded
twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

Those who understand evil pardon it; those who resent it destroy it.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
          "Maxims for Revolutionists",1903, No.167. Essay in the form of a
          list, published in the compilation Man and Superman, with The
          Revolutionists Handbook and Maxims for Revolutionists.
          London: Constable, 1926

---

The thought of 2000 people munching celery at the same time horrifies me.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing!
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
          widely quoted and seen in posters and other pop art;
          possibly from Annajanska: The Bolshevik Empress (1917; first
          performed at the Coliseum Theatre, London 21 January 1918)
          variant: You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow
            old because you stop laughing! --Michael Pritchard (born c.1949)

---

Why was I born with such contemporaries?
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
          The Dark Lady of the Sonnets short play, 1910. New York: Brentano's,
          1914, from the Preface
          sometimes misattributed to Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills
          Wilde](1854-1900)

---

The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.
     --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

---

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
     --John A. Shedd [John Augustus Shedd](1859-1928)
          Salt from My Attic, Portland ME: The Mosher Press, 1928

---

You're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
     --Arthur Sheekman [Arthur Grant Sheekman](1901-1978)
        and Harry Ruby [Harry Rubenstein](1895-1974)
          Duck Soup, 1933 film, spoken by Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx)

---

Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind.
     --Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)
          "The Necessity of Atheism", 1811 essay self-published by Shelley,
          with a revised version printed in 1813 as a note to his poem "Queen
          Mab"

---

Death has a way of getting your attention.
     --Mark Shepherd (died 2011)
          Elvendude. New York: Baen Publishing, 1994
          spoken by Daryl Bendis

---

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
     --Mark Shepherd (died 2011)
          Elvendude. New York: Baen Publishing, 1994
          spoken by Daryl Bendis

---

No matter if you are hidden in an obscure post, never content yourself
with doing your second best, however unimportant the occasion.
     --Gen. Philip Henry Sheridan (1831-1888)

---

Revolution is the opium of the intellectuals.
     --David Sherwin (born 1942)
          O Lucky Man!, 1973 film; the words are seen spray-painted on an
          outdoor wall, mocking a Marxist slogan

---

Dudley (an angel, played by Cary Grant): The world changes, but two
    things remain constant . . . Youth and Beauty. They're really one in the
    same thing.
Julia (Loretta Young): Yes. The trouble is, people grow old.
Dudley: Not everybody. The only people who grow old were born
    old to begin with.
     --Robert E. Sherwood (1896-1955)
        and Leonardo Bercovici (1908-1995), screenwriters
          The Bishop's Wife, 1947 film

---

Supposing I told you I came from another planet. Would you believe me? . . .
We all come from our own little planets. That's why we're all different.
That's what makes life interesting.
     --Robert E. Sherwood (1896-1955)
        and Leonardo Bercovici (1908-1995), screenwriters
          The Bishop's Wife, 1947 film
          spoken by Dudley, an angel (Cary Grant)

---

As the technology becomes more and more sophisticated, once they're able
to discover more and more things about the fetus, having a baby will be
like shopping. You'll be able to select children's careers before they're
born. "Looks like a plumber. Better abort."
     --Ian Shoales [Merle Kessler](born 1949)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.268

---

Trouble is part of your life -- if you don't share it, you don't give the
person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
     --Dinah Shore [Frances Rose Shore](1916-1994)

---

I don't so much suspend disbelief as joyously throw it away.
     --Susan Shwartz (born 1949)

---

Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.
    variant: If you are what you should be you will set the whole world on fire.
    original: Se sarete quello che dovete essere, metterete fuoco in tutta
        Italia, non tanto costí.
        [If you are what you ought to be, you will set fire to all Italy, and
        not only yonder.]
     --St Catherine of Siena [Catherine Benincasa](1347-1380)
          quoted by Bishop Richard Chartres, Royal Wedding, Westminster Abbey, 29 April 2011
          original from St Catherine's letter 368 to Stefano Maconi, from
          Saint Catherine of Siena as Seen in Her Letters. Vida D. Scudder
          (translator). London: J.M. Dent & Co./New York: E.P. Dutton & Co., 1905, p.305

---

What's enough love?
Always a little more
than anyone gets.
     --Stirling Silliphant (1918-1996)
          Charly, 1968 film

---

Hug o' War


I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.
     --Shel Silverstein [Sheldon Allan Silverstein/Uncle Shelby](1930-1999)

---

Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in
restraint.
     --Dave Sim [David Victor Sim](born 1956)
          widely quoted on the Web, unsourced, except to note that Sim is the
          author of the comic strip Cerebrus [The Aardvark]

---

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men
will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.
     --John Simon [John Ivan Simon](born 1925)

---

Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the
majority is ignorant.
     --John Simon [John Ivan Simon](born 1925)
        also sometimes attributed to Art Spander [Arthur Melvin Spander]
        (born mid-XXth century)

---

It is proof of the uncultivatedness of this society [America] that it
boggles at severe criticism. The trouble is, the society is geared to
blandness. Blandness is a curse, as I see it. It's shapeless, it's
savorless, it's mindless, it's gutless.
     --John Simon [John Ivan Simon](born 1925)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.79

---

Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a
competent historian.
     --Lee Simonson (1888-1967)

---

I have not really been close to a man
until I have wrestled with the evil in
him -- and he with the evil in me --
to our mutual benefit.
     --Rev Paul Simpson
          Christmas 1967, sermon, Ontario (California) Church of the Nazarene

---

What are the politicians going to tell people when the Constitution is gone
and we still have a drug problem?
     --William Simpson [William Gayley Simpson](1892-1991)
        co-founder of the American Civil Liberties Union

---

My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up,
but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet.
     --Tom Sims (1950-2012)

---

God is the sum of all possibilities.
     --Isaac Bashevis Singer (1904-1991)

---

Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for
the rest of your life.
     --Michael Sinz (born mid-XXth century)

---

I feel good, which is unusual for me, because I'm from New York, I'm used
to being depressed. Although, I've begun to look at the bright side.
You see, depression is not that bad. It is a chance to sleep 20 hours
a day, and eat Häagen-Dazs the other four.
     --Carol Siskind (born 1946)
          An Evening at the Improv, TV series, Season 1 Episode 43, 30 August 1982

---

The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.
     --Edith Sitwell (1887-1964)

---

There is a power in each and every one of us that lives by turning
to every other one of us, a thrust of the spirit to cherish and care
and stand by others, and above all those most in need. It is called love,
and its path is to give ever more of itself.
     --Father Leo O'Donovan. SJ (born 1934)
        President, Georgetown University, 1989-2001
          United States presidential inauguration, 20 January 2021

---

A clown is a warrior who fights gloom.
     --Red Skelton [Richard Bernard Skelton](1913-1997)

---

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
     --B.F. Skinner [Burrhus Frederic Skinner](1904-1990)
          "New methods and new aims in teaching", New Scientist,
          Volume 122, 20 May 1964, pp.483-484

---

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
     --B.F. Skinner [Burrhus Frederic Skinner](1904-1990)

---

Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.
     --B.F. Skinner [Burrhus Frederic Skinner](1904-1990)

---

A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old
maid, charity.
     --V.P. Skipper

---

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them
while they're alive.
     --John Sloan (1871-1951)

---

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the
prisoner was you.
     --Lewis B. Smedes [Lewis Benedictus Smedes](1921-2002)

---

The habit of viewing things cheerfully and thinking about life
hopefully may be made to grow up like any other habit.
     --Samuel Smiles (1812-1904)
        Character. Chicago: Belford, Clarke & Co., 1881, p.181

---

The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be and who
does not, upon many occasions, give credit to tales, which not only turn
out to be perfectly false, but which a very moderate degree of reflection
and attention might have taught him could not well be true. The natural
disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and experience
only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough.
     --Adam Smith (1723-1790)
          The Theory of Moral Sentiments, 1759, Part VII Section IV

---

In life there is nothing more
unexpected and surprising
than the arrivals and departures of pleasure.
If we find it in one place to-day,
it is vain to seek it there to-morrow.
You cannot lay a trap for it.
     --Alexander Smith (1830-1867)
        "Of Death and the Fear of Dying"
        Dreamthorp: A Book of Essays Written in the Country.
        Edinburgh: W.P. Nimmo, Hay & Mitchell, 1864

---

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the
recognition.
     --Alexander Smith (1830-1867)

---

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of
the puddles in the road.
     --Alexander Smith (1830-1867)

---

It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born.
This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to
keep your wits about you and borrow some money.
     --Elinor Goulding Smith (1917-1978)

---

Above all nations is humanity.
     --Goldwin Smith (1823-1910)
          inscription engraved in a stone bench he offered to Cornell,
          placed in front of Goldwin Smith Hall

---

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course
is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
     --H. Allen Smith (1907-1976)

---

Werewolves don't exist, I told myself, shooting at the one closest to me.
     --Harvey Smith (born late-XXth century)
          "Aces and Eights", Amberzine #6, 1994
          spoken (rather, thought to himself) by Nigel

---

People Use [sic] To Ask Me What Do You Wanna Be When You Get Older And
  I Would Say What A Stupid Question The Real Question Is What Am I Right Now
     --Jaden Smith [Jaden Christopher Syre Smith](born 1998)
          Tweet from @officialjaden on 5 September 2013

---

Being dead is the most boring experience in life, that is if one excepts
being married or dining with a school-master.
     --Mrs Hester Travers Smith [Hester Dowden](1868-1949)
          Psychic Messages from Oscar Wilde. London: Psychic Book Club, 1923
          Mrs Smith [Dowden] claims that this message came to her from the late
          Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) in a séance

---

Life is to be fortified by many friendships.
To love and be loved
is the great happiness of existence.
     --Sydney Smith (1771-1845)

---

There is an event recorded in the Bible, which men who write books
should keep constantly in their remembrance. . . . [An author] should
gaze at Noah and be brief. The ark should constantly remind him of the
little time there is left for reading; and he should learn, as they did
in the ark, to crowd a great deal of matter into a very small compass.
     --Sydney Smith (1771-1845)
          review of Characters of the late Charles James Fox, selected and
          partly written by Philopatris Varvicensis by Dr Samuel Parr
          (London: Mawman, 1809, 2 volumes), Edinburgh Review, 1809

---

At the end of the day, every parent knows once your child goes out of the
house, you've either taught them already or you haven't. . . . As much as
you want to do it for them, you can't. They have to do it on their own.
     --Will Smith [Willard Christopher Smith Jr](born 1968)
          "A Father's Legacy" (2013), Special Feature on Blu-ray version of
          After Earth, 2013 film

---

I made up what I call "a new old saying": being realistic is
the most commonly-traveled road to mediocrity.
     --Will Smith [Willard Carroll Smith Jr](born 1968)
          Interview with Tracy Smith [presumably no relation] on CBS Sunday Morning,
          13 December 2015

---

What makes you happy? What do you need to be able to live and inspire
life? . . . Do what you want to do. You'll figure out what you need to
do from what goes right and what goes wrong. You've got to build your
life for you. And everybody else has to get down, or lay down.
    [I take the last phrase to mean, "help or get out of the way". --Editor]
     --Will Smith [Willard Christopher Smith Jr](born 1968)
          "A Father's Legacy" (2013), Special Feature on Blu-ray version of
          After Earth, 2013 film

---

Civilization is hideously fragile . . . there's not much
between us and the horrors underneath, just about a
coat of varnish.
     --C.P. Snow [Charles Percy Snow](1905-1980)

---

Privacy isn't about something to hide. Privacy is about something to
protect. . . . Privacy is the right to the self. Privacy is
what gives you the ability to share with the world who you are on your
own terms, for them to understand what you're trying to be, and to
protect for yourself the parts of you that you're not sure about, that
you're still experimenting with. If we don't have privacy, what we're
losing is the ability to make mistakes. We're losing the ability to
be ourselves. Privacy is the fountainhead of all other rights. . . .
Privacy is baked into our language, our core concepts of government
itself in every way. . . . Arguing that you don't care about privacy
because you have nothing to hide is like arguing that you don't care about
free speech because you have nothing to say.
     --Edward Snowden (born 1983)
          Blu-ray Bonus material for Oliver Stone's Snowden (2016), in a panel
          discussion moderated by Matt Zoller Seitz and including Snowden himself
          (by Internet connection), director Oliver Stone, and two of the films
          stars, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Shailene Woodley; the panel was convened
          in conjunction with the film's premiere in September of 2016; this
          discourse on privacy came in response to the interviewer's request for
          Snowden's response to those who say, "If you have nothing to hide,
          you have nothing to fear"; Snowden pointed out that this quote
          originated with Joseph Goebbels, Nazi Minister of Propaganda under Hitler.

---

In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school
to offering remedial English in college.
     --Joseph Sobran (1946-2010)

---

When a politician wrestles with his conscience, he usually wins.
     --Joseph Sobran (1946-2010)

---

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)

---

He who is not contented with what he has
would not be contented with what he would like to have.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)

---

Live best by what you believe is the truth.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)

---

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be
happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)

---

The unexamined life is not worth living.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)
          in Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE).
          Apology, an account of Socrates' self-defense in 399 BCE against
          charges of "corrupting the youth"

---

Virtue does not come from money,
but rather from virtue comes money,
and all other things good to man.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)

---

What a blessing it would be for young people if only a single one corrupts
them, and all the rest do them good. But really, Meletos, that is enough
to show that you never were anxious about young people; you show clearly
your own carelessness -- you have cared nothing about the things you
impeach me for.
     --Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)
          in Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE).
          Apology, an account of Socrates' self-defense in 399 BCE against
          charges of "corrupting the youth"
          English translation by W.H.D. Rouse. Great Dialogues of Plato.
          New York: New American Library of World Literature, 1956

---

A hard life improves the vision.
     --Alexander Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008)
          spoken upon returning from 8 years in prison-exile

---

Just understand one thing and pass it along
to anyone at the top . . . A person you've
taken everything from is no longer in your power.
He is free all over again.
     --Alexander Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008)
          The First Circle [English version]. New York: Harper & Row, 1968,
          translated from the Russian by Thomas P. Whitney; fuller version titled
          In the First Circle. New York: Harper Perennial, 2009, translated
          from the Russian by Harry T. Willetts
          spoken by the prisoner

---

Banish those vermin of debate
    That on your substance feed;
The knaves who now are serv'd in plate,
    Would starve if fools agreed.


    variant: Were there fewer fools, knaves would starve.
     --William Somerville [William Somervile](1675-1742)
          "The Oyster", in Thomas Park, Esq., Editor. The Poetical Works
          of William Somerville: Collated with the Best Editions, Volume II.
          London: printed for John Sharpe, Piccadilly, 1805, p.52;
          indexed in Samuel Johnson. Index to the English Poets, Volume the
          First. London: printed for C. Bathurst, et al., 1780, p.286

---

Life is a slow dance between death and desire.
     --S.P. Somtow [Somtow Papinian Sucharitkul](born 1952)
          Yestern. Clarkston GA: White Wolf, 1995

---

The path to the summit of the world is through the center of hell.
     --S.P. Somtow [Somtow Papinian Sucharitkul](born 1952)
          Yestern. Clarkston GA: White Wolf, 1995
          spoken by Theo Etchison

---

I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them.
     --Susan Sontag (1933-2004)

---

No one loves the messenger who brings bad news.
    variant: None love the bearer of bad news.
    related idea: Don't shoot the messenger.
     --Σοφοκλης [Sophocles](c.496-406 BCE)
          Antigone, line 277

---

There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.
     --Σοφοκλης [Sophocles](c.496-406 BCE)
          Electra

---

To be happy, it is first of all necessary
To be wise, and always remember
To give the gods their due.
The measure of a proud man's boasting
Shall be the measure of his punishment
And teach him late in life
The nature of true wisdom.
     --Σοφοκλης [Sophocles](c.496-406 BCE)
          Antigone, ll. 1269-1275

---

A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
     --Terry Southern (1924-1995)
        screenwriter, Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy, 1968 film
        spoken by Barbarella (Jane Fonda)

---

A life without cause is a life without effect.
     --Terry Southern (1924-1995)
        screenwriter, Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy, 1968 film
        spoken by Dildano (David Hemmings)

---

Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an
intellectual could ignore or evade it.
     --Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

---

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive,
difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of
mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
     --Gene Spafford [Eugene Howard Spafford/Spaf](born 1956)
        quoted at the author's Web site spaf.cerias.purdue.edu/quotes.html,
        originally posted to a mailing list in 1992

---

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
ordinance under which you can be booked.
     --Robert D. Specht (1913-?)
        RAND Corporation; idea was quoted (without attribution) by George H.W. Bush
        (41st U.S. president) at the Annual White House News Photographers
        Association Dinner, 23 May 1989

---

Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
     --Henry Spencer (born 1955)
          widely attributed to Spencer, from his usenet .sig, November 1987

---

Civilization is a progress from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity
toward a definite, coherent heterogeneity.
     --Herbert Spencer (1820-1903)
          First Principles. London: G. Mainwaring/New York: D. Appleton and Co., 1860

---

All for love, and nothing for reward.
     --Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

---

Gigolo Joe (Jude Law): They hate us, you know, the humans. They'll
    stop at nothing.
David (Haley Joel Osment): My mommy doesn't hate me, because I'm
    special, and unique; because there's never been anyone like me before,
    ever. Mommy loves Martin [her biological son] because he is real, and
    when I am real, Mommy's going to read to me, and tuck me in my bed, and
    sing to me, and listen to what I say, and she will cuddle with me, and
    tell me every day, a hundred times a day, that she loves me.
Gigolo Joe: She loves what you do for her, as my customers love what
    it is I do for them. [Gigolo Joe is a love-robot, a mechanical
    "male escort".] But she does not love you, David. She cannot
    love you. You are neither flesh nor blood. You are not a dog, or a cat,
    or a canary. You were designed and built specific like the rest of us.
    And you are alone now only because they tired of you, or replaced
    you with a younger model, or were displeased with something you said,
    or broke. They made us too smart, too quick, and too many. We are
    suffering for the mistakes they made, because when the end comes, all
    that will be left is us. That's why they hate us. And that's why
    you must stay here, with me.
David: Goodbye, Joe.
     --Steven Spielberg [Steven Allan Spielberg](born 1946)
          screenwriter and director, A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, 2001 film

---

Like my parents, I have never been a regular church member or churchgoer.
It doesn't seem plausible to me that there is the kind of God who
watches over human affairs, listens to prayers, and tries to guide
people to follow His precepts -- there is just too much misery and
cruelty for that. On the other hand, I respect and envy the people
who get inspiration from their religions.
     --Dr Benjamin Spock [Benjamin McLane Spock](1903-1998)
          widely circulated, unsourced

---

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable
diseases and his mother's age.
     --Dr Benjamin Spock [Benjamin McLane Spock](1903-1998)

---

Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have
guns, why should we let them have ideas.
     --Joseph Stalin [Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin](1878-1953)

---

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
     --Joseph Stalin [Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin](1878-1953)

---

Standing up to an evil system is exhilarating.
     --Richard Stallman [Richard Matthew Stallman/RMS](born 1953)

---

An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions.
He is neither hot nor timid.
     --Philip Stanhope [Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield PC KG](1694-1773)

---

Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
     --Philip Stanhope [Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield PC KG](1694-1773)

---

Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not
pull it out and strike it, merely to show that you have one.
     --Philip Stanhope [Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield PC KG](1694-1773)

---

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men
    and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed
    to express it;
Who has left the world better than he found it,
Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them
    the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.
     --Bessie Anderson Stanley (1879-1952)
          Brown Book Magazine, 1904; also published in
          Joseph Mitchell Chappie (Editor). More Heart Throbs, Volume 2. New York:
          Grosset & Dunlap, 1911, pp.1-2

---

Success


He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men
    and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed
    to express it;
Who has left the world better than he found it,
Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them
    the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.
     --Bessie Anderson Stanley (1879-1952)
          Brown Book Magazine, 1904; also published in
          Joseph Mitchell Chappie, Editor. More Heart Throbs, Volume 2. New York:
          Grosset & Dunlap, 1911, pp.1-2

---

It is better to have loved and lost than to be butt-ugly.
     --Philip Stark (born late-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Holy Craps", 17 April 2001
          spoken by Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis)

---

[During an argument between two of the main characters]:
OK, enough pussyfooting around. Which, by the way, does not mean what I
thought it meant. [Later, while listening to two of his friends arguing]:
Nice rebuttal. Which, by the way, also does not mean what I thought it meant.
     --Philip Stark (born mid-XXth century)
          That '70s Show, TV series, "Down the Road a Piece", 2 March 2005
          spoken by Fez [or Fes, Foreign Exchange Student](Wilmer Valderrama)

---

Unhurt people are not much good in the world.
     --Enid Starkie [Enid Mary Starkie CBE, Litt.D](1897-1970)

---

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients
and having someone sit on it.
     --Danielle Steel (born 1947)

---

I'd rather have agony with the possibility of joyous adventure
than the monotony of knowing moment by moment exactly what's
going to happen to my life. It's better to be dead.
     --Rod Steiger (1925-2002)
          interview with Jerry Dunphy on KNXT, airing 12 December 1971

---

If we can get through a day in our society [doing our best],
without hurting anyone, feeling the love of another person . . .,
then it has been a successful day.
     --Rod Steiger (1925-2002)
          interview with Jerry Dunphy on KNXT, airing 12 December 1971

---

Let me recite what History teaches. History teaches.
     --Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)
          "If I Told Him: A Completed Portrait of Picasso" (poem, 1923)

---

The telethon invokes in me more terror than mirth. The spectacle of all
that self-congratulatory yap masquerading as conscience, of all those
chairmen of the board passing off public relations as altruism is
truly sickening.
     --Harry Stein (born 1948)
          quoted in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.603

---

The wise man questions the wisdom of others because he questions his own,
the foolish man, because it is different from his own.
     --Leo Daniel Stein (1872-1947)
          Journey into the Self. New York: Crown Publishers, 1950

---

A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
     --John Steinbeck [John Ernst Steinbeck Jr](1902-1968)
          "Flight" (short story), from The Long Valley (anthology).
          New York: Viking Press, 1938, spoken by Pepe's mother

---

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but
to unlearn. We are filled with the popular wisdom of several centuries
just past, and we are terrified to give it up. Patriotism means obedience,
age means wisdom, woman means submission, black means inferior: these are
preconceptions imbedded so deeply in our thinking that we honestly may not
know that they are there.
     --Gloria Steinem (born 1934)
          "'Women's Liberation' means to free men, too". Washington
          Post, 7 June 1970

---

Logic is in the eye of the logician.
     --Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

---

Some women and men seem to need each other.
     --Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

---

You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life, and now you wonder
what it's like to be damned.
     --Jim Steinman (born 1947)
          "Good Girls Go to Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)", 1989
          performed by Pandora's Box on their 1989 album Original Sin
          also performed by Meat Loaf on their 1993 album
          Bat out of Hell II: Back into Hell

---

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
     --Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865-1923)
          in John Winthrop Hammond, Charles Proteus Steinmetz: A Biography,
          (1924), p.400

---

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause,
while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
     --Wilhelm Stekel (1868-1940)
        quoted in J.D. Salinger (1919-2010). The Catcher in the Rye.
        Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1945

---

There are no monosexual persons. . . . Nature has created us bisexual
beings and requires us to act as bisexual beings.
     --Wilhelm Stekel (1868-1940)
          Bi-Sexual Love: The Homosexual Neurosis.
          Boston: Richard G. Badger, The Gorham Press, 1922, pp.27-28
          translated from the German by James S. van Teslaar, M.D.
          (extract from Onanie und Homosexualität [1920]; unusual note on title
          page under translator's name: "For sale only to members of the medical profession")
          quoted by Jeanne Barney in The Advocate, Issue 149, 23 October 1974, p.27

---

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
     --Casey Stengel [Charles Dillon Stengel](1890-1975)

---

Gentlemen . . . wait till your divine revelations have something more
to reveal than the hope that the hideous doubts which they suggest may
possibly be without foundation. Till then we shall be content to admit
openly what you [religionists] whisper under your breath or hide in
technical jargon, that the ancient secret is a secret still; that man
knows nothing of the Infinite and Absolute; and that, knowing nothing,
he had better not be dogmatic about his ignorance. And, meanwhile, we will
endeavour to be as charitable as possible, and whilst you trumpet forth
officially your contempt for our skepticism, we will at least try to
believe that you are imposed upon by your own bluster.
     --Leslie Stephen [Sir Leslie Stephen, KCB](1832-1904)
          "An agnostic's Apology", The Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 25, 1876, p.860

---

If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then
I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as
plentiful as blackberries.
     --Leslie Stephen (1832-1904)
          The Fortnightly Review, Volume 34, 1880, p.177

---

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is
wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits
that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant?
Is it not a spectacle to make the angels laugh? We are a company of
ignorant beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only
by incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by
falling into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for
our daily needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe
the ultimate origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures
to declare that we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map
of our infinitesimal parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that
he will be damned to all eternity for his faithlessness.
     --Leslie Stephen [Sir Leslie Stephen, KCB](1832-1904)
          "An agnostic's Apology", The Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 25, 1876, p.859

---

For a Westerner to trash Western culture is like criticizing our
nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere on the grounds that it sometimes gets windy,
and besides, Jupiter's is much prettier. You may not realize its
advantages until you're trying to breathe liquid methane.
     --Neal Stephenson [Neal Town Stephenson](born 1959)

---

The guy just wanted a kiss, not the story of O.
     --Noah Stern (born mid-XXth century)
          The Opposite Sex and How to Live With Them, 1992 film

---

Miss Manners is one of the rudest people I have ever come across.
     --Lord Steven

---

You can treat the world like a piece of dust
Or a pot of gold
You can be a child in your heart
Or you can grow old
     --Cat Stevens [Yusuf Islam/Steven Demetre Georgiou](born 1948)
          "You Can Do (Whatever)" (2013)
          song introduced in end credits of Jobs, 2013 film

---

A poet looks at the world like a man looks at a woman.
     --Wallace Stevens (1879-1955)

---

Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady,
but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes
he has to eat them.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

My definition of a free society is a society where it is
safe to be unpopular.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)
        Speech in Detroit, Michigan, 7 October 1952

---

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now
it happens to everybody.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning, not the end.
     --Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)

---

The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
     --Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

---

If your morals make you dreary, depend upon it they are wrong. I do not
say 'give them up,' for they may be all you have; but conceal them like
a vice, lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler people.
     --Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)
          "A Christmas Sermon", Across the Plains.
          New York: National Library, 1906; Scribner's Magazine, December 1892

---

That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much,
who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world
better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a
rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to
express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.
     --Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

---

Them that die 'll be the lucky ones.
     --Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)
          Treasure Island. London: Puffin, 1883, Chapter 20
          spoken by Long John Silver

---

We need religion to give grace and comfort to a world torn apart
by religion.
    variants: Religion: It's given people hope in a world torn apart
        by religion.
    Religion: It's a powerful force for healing in a world torn apart
        by religion.
     --Jon Stewart [Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz](born 1962)
          The Daily Show,
          during a conversation with Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas and
          Republican presidential primary candidate, and an ordained Southern Baptist
          minister who is consistently and publicly "Christian first".
          The discussion on this occasion included Huckabee's praise for David
          Barton, a self-styled historian (his degree from Oral Roberts University is
          in Christian Education) who has claimed that the original intention of the
          Founders who wrote the United States Constitution was that Christians were
          intended to hold public office, not Jews or members of other sects
          [source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Barton_(author) -- referring to
          statements from David Barton. The Myth of Separation: What is the
          Correct Relationship Between Church and State?: A Revealing Look at What
          the Founders and Early Courts Really Said. Aledo TX: WallBuilder
          Press, 1989]

---

To remember love after long sleep; to turn again to poetry after a year
in the marketplace, or to youth after resignation to drowsy and
stiffening age. . . .this is music, made after long silence.
     --Mary Stewart [Mary Florence Elinor Stewart](born 1916)
          The Hollow Hills. London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1973

---

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.
It is the hallmark of an authoritarian regime.
     --Potter Stewart (1915-1985)
        Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America, 1958-1981
        Stewart is perhaps most famous for his statement that "hard-core
        pornography" is hard to define, but that "I know it when
        I see it." That provocative quote is almost never finished,
        but he went on to say, "and the motion picture involved in this
        case is not that". (Jacobellis v. Ohio [1964])
        related idea: It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a
            term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the Courts,
            it means "anything that shocks the magistrate."
                --Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
            variant: Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection.

---

That's my basic rule: whatever the problem, the government's a bigger one.
     --Mark Steyn (born 1959)

---

There are three things a man can do with women:
love them,
suffer for them,
or turn them into literature.
     --Stephen Stills (born 1945)

---

Treat your password like your toothbrush.
Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
     --Clifford Stoll (born 1951)

---

Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?
     --Clifford Stoll (born 1951)

---

Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed.
     --I.F. Stone [Isidor Feinstein Stone](1907-1989)

---

This is a revolution, damn it! We're going to have to offend
somebody!
     --Peter Stone (1930-2003)
          1776, first produced at the 46th Street Theatre, New York City,
          16 March 1969, spoken by John Adams

---

This looks like a job for . . . someone else!
     --Sherri Stoner (born 1965)
        et al.
          Tiny Toon Adventures, animated TV series, "Cinemaniacs",
          10 October 1990, spoken by Plucky Duck (voiced by Joe Alaskey)

---

I'm going to be dead before I read the books I'm going to read.
     --Tom Stoppard [Tomáš Straüssler](born 1937)

---

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
     --Tom Stoppard [Tomáš Straüssler](born 1937)

---

It's not the voting that makes Democracy, it's the counting!
     --Tom Stoppard [Tomáš Straüssler](born 1937)

---

I was remarking to my friend earlier this morning:
if one can't enjoy life as it takes one, what's the
point of living it at all? [Act 1, Scene 2]


If a person can't be what they are,
what's the purpose of being anything at all? [Act 2]
     --David Storey (born 1933)
              Home, first produced at the Morosco Theatre, New York City, 17 November 1970
          spoken by Jack (Ralph Richardson in the 1970 production)
                Act 2 quote used by Charles Pierce to close his show, 3 December 1971

---

I used to wish the universe were fair. Then one day it hit me: What if
the universe were fair? Then all the awful things that happen to us in
life, would happen because we deserved them. So now I take great pleasure
in the general hostility and unfairness of things.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "A Late Delivery from Avalon", 1996
          spoken by Marcus

---

If you do not choose to lead, you will forever be led by others.
Find what scares you, and do it.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

The innocent lie because they don't want to be blamed for something they
didn't do, and the guilty lie because they don't have any other choice.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "And the Sky Full of Stars", 1994
          spoken by Commander Jeffrey David Sinclair (Michael O'Hare)

---

Liberty is always at peril; only the degree of the threat varies
from day to day.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "The Fall of Night", 1995

---

Never follow somebody else's path; it doesn't work the same way twice
for anyone . . . the path follows you and rolls up behind you as you
walk, forcing the next person to find their own way.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness
of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against
powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair.
Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of
dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all
around us, waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments
of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will
take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "Zha'dum", 1996
          G'kar (Andreas Katsulas) quotes from The Book of G'Quan, a Narn holy
          book (it is considered disrespectful to "thump" the book!)

---

Worst case of testosterone poisoning I've ever seen.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "A Voice in the Wilderness", 1994
          spoken by Cmdr Susan Ivanova

---

You are not ready for immortality.
     --J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
          Babylon 5, TV series, "Deathwalker", 1994
          spoken by Ambassador Kosh

---

Boys are a labyrinth of no escape.
     --Στρατων [Straton of Sardis/Strato](IIIrd century CE)
          Μωυσα Παιδικη [Musa Puerilis], spoken by Rhianus

---

I am in the present. I cannot know what tomorrow will bring forth.
I can know only what the truth is for me today. That is what I am
called upon to serve, and I serve it in all lucidity.
     --Igor Stravinsky [Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky](1882-1971)

---

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
     --Igor Stravinsky [Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky](1882-1971)

---

Sacred family! Thou art supposed to be the home of the virtues, where
innocent children are tortured into their first falsehoods, where wills
are broken by tyranny, and self-respect killed by narrow egoism.
Family! Thou are the home of all social evil, a charitable institution
for comfortable women, an anchorage for house-fathers, and a hell for
children.
     --Johan August Strindberg (1849-1912)
          Tjänstekvinnans son [The Son of a Servant]
          (autobiographical novel, 1886/1909). Translated by Claud Field, M.A.
          New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1913
          1886/1909

---

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
     --Charles William Stubbs (1845-1912)

---

Sturgeon's Revelation: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
    variant: Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap.
     --Theodore Sturgeon [Edward Hamilton Waldo](1918-1985)
          Venture, March 1958 is the first written reference, though several
          people claim the remark was made by Sturgeon in public talks before that;
          the written version reads, "I repeat Sturgeons Revelation, which was
          wrung out of me after twenty years of wearying defense of science fiction
          against attacks of people who used the worst examples of the field for
          ammunition, and whose conclusion was that ninety percent of SF is crud.
          [¶] Using the same standards that categorize 90% of science fiction
          as trash, crud, or crap, it can be argued that 90% of film, literature,
          consumer goods, etc. are crap. In other words, the claim (or fact) that
          90% of science fiction is crap is ultimately uninformative, because
          science fiction conforms to the same trends of quality as all other
          artforms."

---

Typos are Coyotes padding through the language, grinning.
(from http://www.susannajsturgis.com/entry_archive.php?id=443 :
Typos are Coyote's footprints in your manuscript.)
     --Susanna J. Sturgis (born mid-XXth century)

---

Families, when a child is born
Want it to be intelligent.
I, through intelligence,
Having wrecked my whole life,
Only hope the baby will prove
Ignorant and stupid.
Then he will crown a tranquil life
By becoming a Cabinet Minister
     --Su Tung-p'o [Su Shi](1037-1101 CE)
          "On the birth of his son"
          Poem #1217, translated by Arthur Waley [Arthur David Waley, CH, CBE](1889-1966),
          in A Hundred and Seventy Chinese Poems. New York: Constable and Co., 1918, p.78

---

We attract hearts by the qualities we display; we retain them by the
qualities we possess.
     --Jean-Baptiste Antoine Suard (1732-1817)

---

Brother, you can believe in stones, as long as you do not throw them at me.
     --Dr Wafa Sultan (born 1958)

---

As soon as A observes something which seems to him to be wrong, from which
X is suffering, A talks it over with B, and A and B then propose to get a
law passed to remedy the evil and help X. Their law always proposes to
determine what C shall do for X or, in the better case, what A, B and C
shall do for X. As for A and B, who get a law to make themselves do for
X what they are willing to do for him, we have nothing to say except that
they might better have done it without any law, but what I want to do is
to look up C. I want to show you what manner of man he is. I call him the
Forgotten Man.
    variants: Whenever 'A' attempts by law to impose his moral
        standards upon 'B', 'A' is most likely a scoundrel [and should be
        briskly clubbed].
    Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X,
        A is a scoundrel.
     --William Graham Sumner (1840-1910)
          "The Forgotten Man" (1883), in The Forgotten Man, and Other
          Essays. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1918, p.466

---

He who would be well taken care of must take care of himself.
     --William Graham Sumner (1840-1910)
          What Social Classes Owe to Each Other. New York: Harper, 1920, p.81

---

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
     --Sun Tzu (c.544-c.496 BCE)

---

Trust is earned by many deeds, and lost by only one.
     --Sun Yat-Sen (1866-1925)

---

We can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting.
     --Stanley Sutton
          widely quoted in usenet forums, unsourced, no further author details

---

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's
mind there are few.
     --Shunryu Suzuki (1904-1971)
          Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. New York: Weatherhill, 1970

---

Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.
Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. . . . Only
atheists could accept this Satanic theory.
     --Rev. Jimmy Swaggart (born 1935)
          The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution. Baton Rouge LA: Jimmy
          Swaggart Ministries, 1986

---

This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks -- to
have a system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no
machines, no wires, no controls.
     --Michael Swanwick (born 1950)
          Vacuum Flowers. New York: Arbor House, 1987, p.12

---

The Swartzberg Test:
The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
     --Harry L. Swartzberg (fl. mid-XXth century)
          quoted, unsourced, in Analog Science Fact, Science Fiction,
          Volume 103, 1983, p.86, referring to "the late Harry L. Swartzberg of RCA"

---

Kindness causes us to learn, and to forget, many things.
     --Madame Swetchine [Anne Sophie Swetchine](1782-1857)

---

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so
modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

---

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance
in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a
most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted,
baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a
fricassee, or a ragout.
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
          A Modest Proposal, 1729

---

May you live all the days of your life.
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
          Polite Conversation, Dialogue II, 1738
          in The Works of the Rev Jonathan Swift, D.D., Volume XXII.
          New York: William Durrell and Co., 1813, p.340, spoken by Colonel Atwit

---

SAEVA INDIGNATIO COR ULTERIUS LACERARE NEQUIT
    (Harsh indignation can no longer tear his heart)
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
        from the epitaph Swift wrote for himself, inscribed in gold letters on a
        black marble plaque in St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin; he was known for
        campaigning against injustice

---

There is nothing in this world constant, but inconstancy.
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
          A Critical Essay upon the Faculties of the Mind, 1707

---

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign:
that all the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
     --Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
          Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1728

---

Some people are born on third base and go through life
thinking they hit a triple.
     --Barry Switzer (born 1937)
        college football coach, 1962-1997

---

IN NULLUM AVARUS BONUS EST IN SE PESSIMUS
[The miser does no one any good, but he treats himself worst of all.]
     --Publilius Syrus (Ist century BCE)
          quoted by Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE),
          in Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium [Moral Epistles to Lucilius],
          c.65 CE, 108,9

---

MAGISTER USUS OMNIUM EST RERUM OPTIMUS
[Practice is the best of all instructors.]
    variant: USUS EST MAGISTER OPTIMUS
        [Practice is the best instruction. Practice makes perfect.]
     --Publilius Syrus (Ist century BCE)
          Maxim 439 (or 447?)

---

MALUM EST CONSILIUM QUOD MUTARI NO POTEST
[It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.]
     --Publilius Syrus (Ist century BCE)
          Sententiae [Sentences, Maxims], 42 BCE, No.469

---

QUI CULPAE IGNOSCIT UNI SUADET PLURIBUS
[Pardon one offence and you encourage many.]
     --Publilius Syrus (Ist century BCE)
          Sententiae [Sentences, Maxims], 42 BCE, No.750

---

A child becomes an adult when he realizes he has a right not only to be
right but also to be wrong.
     --Thomas Szasz (1920-2012)

---

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by
the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children,
and by children to adults.
     --Thomas Szasz (born 1920)

---

If you talk to God, you are praying.
If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
     --Thomas Szasz (born 1920)

---

Discovery conceits in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking
what no one else has thought.
     --Albert Szent-Gyorgi (1893-1986)

---

Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking
what no one else has thought.
     --Albert Szent-Gyorgi (1893-1986)
          quoted by Irving John Good, Editor. The Scientist Speculates.
          London: Heinemann, 1962

---

They made a wasteland and called it peace.
     --Tacitus [Gaius/Publius Cornelius Tacitus](56-117 CE)

---

Do not confine your children to your own learning,
for they were born in a different time.
    (variant: Don't limit a child to your own learning,
        for he was born in another time.)
     --Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
        sometimes attributed as Hebrew proverb or Chinese proverb

---

But it's NOT OUR FAULT!!!
     --Haruka Takachiho (born 1951)
          Dirty Pair series of novels first appearing in 1980
          spoken by Kei and Yuri

---

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right
to say it.
     --S.G. Tallentyre [Evelyn Beatrice Hall](1868-1956)
          The Friends of Voltaire, London: Smith, Elder & Co., 1906, p. 199
          often attributed to Voltaire himself, the words are Tallentyre's summary of
          Voltaire's attitude towards the philosopher Helvétius (1715-1771),
          following the ban on Helvétius's De l'Esprit in 1759

---

I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than an army of 100
lions led by a sheep.
     --Talleyrand [Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord](1754-1838)

---

Condemn no man and consider nothing impossible; for there is
no man who does not have a future, and there is nothing
that does not have its hour.
     --The Talmud

---

The whole worth of a kind deed lies in the love that inspires it.
     --The Talmud

---

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
choose from.
     --Andrew S. Tanenbaum (born 1944)

---

All the world's a stage, and everybody wants to direct.
     --Kendra Tarket

---

I have never intentionaly smoked anything.
     --Kendra Tarket

---

You know that you've been a rock star too long when the clothes you became
famous in are in style again.
     --Kendra Tarket

---

From eight to fourteen is a period of life piquantly interesting to
the congenial observer; for in studying it he may perceive unconcealed
in the boy not only what is later to be found coated over in the man
but something also of the history of all mankind.
     --Booth Tarkington (1869-1946)
          "What I Have Learned From Boys"
          American Magazine, January 1925, p.6

---

The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
     --Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)

---

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
     --Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)

---

Since when is "public safety" the root password to the Constitution?
     --C.D. Tavares (born 1973)

---

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, will tell you.
     --Bert Taylor [Bert Leston Taylor](1866-1921)
          The So-Called Human Race. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1922

---

The stronger personalities defy the taboos;
the weaker ones turn to indirect forms of expression.
     --G. Rattray Taylor [Gordon Rattray Taylor](1911-1981)
        Sex in History. London: Thames & Hudson, 1953

---

The net effect of these deceptions (Madison Avenue)
is that each tailor-made reality buttresses the other
in the minds of whites. This explains in large measure
why so many white folk are genuinely baffled by the
grumbling and violence in the ghettos. Which is the
basis for the popular white "joke" that ends with the
punch line, "What do you people want?"


When black people bother to spell out the answer to
that riddle -- with expectations that can only be
described as naïve -- the consistent white responses
add up to rather predictable pranks: another study of
black frustration; another conference on brotherhood;
another million-dollar crash program to tear down an
old ghetto and replace it with a new ghetto.
     --Bob Teague (born 1929)
          "Charlie Doesn't Even Know His Daily Racism is a Sick Joke"
          The New York Times Magazine, 15 September 1968

---

HOMO SUM HUMANI NIHIL A ME ALIENUM PUTO
[I am a man. I regard nothing that is human as alien to me.]
     --Terence [Publius Terentius Afer](195/185-159 BCE)
          Heauton Timorumenos [The Self-Tormentor] (163 BCE)
          Act I Scene 1, line 25
          inscribed on a ceiling beam of the house of
          Michel Eyquiem, Sieur de Montaigne (1533-1592), where he lived
          from 1571 until his death

---

NULLUM EST IAM DICTUM QUOD NON DICTUM SIT PRIUS
variant: NIHIL EST DICTUM QUOD NON SIT DICTUM PRIUS
[Nothing is said now that has not been said before.]
     --Terence [Publius Terentius Afer](195/185-159 BCE)
          Eunuchus, Prologue, Line 41
          related idea: What has been is what will be,
                    and what has been done is what will be done;
                    and there is nothing new under the sun.
                        --Ecclesiastes I:9, RSV
          lighthearted (?) criticism: PEREANT QUI ANTE NOS NOSTRA DIXERUNT
              [Let them die, who before us said what we were going to say.]
                  --attributed to Aelius Donatus (IV century CE), tutor of
                      St Jerome (347-420 CE)

---

There's nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult
when you do it with reluctance.
     --Terence [Publius Terentius Afer](195/185-159 BCE)
          Heauton Timorumenos [The Self-Tormentor] Act IV, Scene 6, Line 1

---

And do you not know that you are (each) an Eve? The sentence of God upon
this sex of yours lives in this age; the guilt must of necessity live too.
You are the devil's gateway [and so forth].
    variant: And do you not think that each of you women is an Eve?
        The judgement of God upon your sex endures today; and with it
        invariably endures your position of criminal at the bar of justice.
     --Tertullian (c.160-c.225 CE)
          "On the apparel of women", Book I, Chapter I, in The Rev.
          Alexander Roberts and James Donaldson, Editors. The Anti-Nicene Fathers,
          Volume IV. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1926, p.14; English
          translation by the Rev S. Thelwall

---

More than they wanted freedom, the Athenians wanted security. Yet they lost
everything - security, comfort and freedom. This was because they wanted
not to give to society, but for society to give to them. The freedom they
were seeking was freedom from responsibility. It is not wonder, then, that
they ceased to be free.
variant:In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security.
    When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but
    for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for
    was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free.
     --Margaret Thatcher [Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS, FRIC](1925-2013)
        "The moral foundations of society", Imprimis, March 1995;
        Thatcher incorrectly attributed the idea to Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
        [source: Wikipedia ]

---

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good
intentions. He had money as well.
     --Margaret Thatcher [Margaret Hilda Roberts Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS](1925-2013)
        Prime Minister of Great Britain, 1979-1990

---

Fools and children you are, mankind!
You mourn the dead,
and not the dying flower of youth.
     --Θεογνις [Theognis of Megara](544-480 BCE)

---

Someone who has gifted us this [high artistic achievement] should be
permitted to have other parts which we're not allowed to judge.
     --Christian Thielemann (born 1959)
          "Discovering Beethoven, Symphony No.8", English translation in
          subtitles of commentary on Blu-ray Beethoven Symphonies Nos. 7, 8 & 9,
          CMajor Entertainment, 2010
              more complete quote: From what I know of Beethoven's musical
                  works, I can't judge him as a person. . . . We're not entitled. . . .
                  Someone who has gifted us this should be permitted to have other parts
                  which we're not allowed to judge.

---

If nobody wants to be old anymore,
why should kids want to be old --
or grow up, or wait -- for anything?
     --Robert Thom (1929-1979)
          Wild in the Streets, 1968 film
          spoken by Joseph Fergus (Don Wyndham), 13

---

It is not important whether or not the interpretation is correct --
If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.
     --William Isaac Thomas (1863-1947)
        The "Thomas Theorem" of Sociology
          William I. Thomas and Dorothy Thomas, The Child in America,
          New York: Alfred Knopf, 1928, p.572

---

How would Horatio Alger handle this situation?
     --Hunter S. Thompson (1937-2005)
          Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 1998 film
          spoken by Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)

---

SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out!
     --Ken Thompson [Kenneth Lane Thompson](born 1943)

---

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
    variant: We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty.
The obedient must be slaves.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward.
It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much
as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to
assume is to do at any time what I think is right.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          "Resistance to Civil Government" (aka "Civil Disobedience"),
          in Elizabeth Palmer Peabody, Editor. Æsthetic Papers.
          Boston: the Editor; New York: G.P. Putnam, 1849.
          quoted by William Butler in The Butterfly Revolution. London: Peter
          Owen, 1961, p.156

---

If you see a man approach you with the obvious intent of doing you good,
you should run for your life.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          quoted in William H. Whyte. The Organization Man. New York: Simon and
          Schuster, 1956

---

In accumulating property for ourselves or our posterity,
in founding a family or a state, or acquiring fame even,
we are mortal; but in dealing with truth we are immortal,
and need fear no change nor accident.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          Walden; or, Life in the Woods. Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854

---

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings. It is an
intelligence above language.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers.
          Boston and Cambridge: James Munroe and Company, 1849, p.286

---

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with
another must wait till that other is ready.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

Men have become the tools of their tools.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

None is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
     --often attributed to Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

Rather than Love, than Money, than Faith, than Fame, than
Fairness give me Truth.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          Walden; or, Life in the Woods. Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854

---

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          11 March 1856 Journal entry, in Odell Shepard, Editor. The Heart of
          Thoreau's Journals. New York: Dover, 1961, p.156

---

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)

---

To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts,
nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live
accordingly to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence,
magnanimity, and trust.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          Walden; or, Life in the Woods.
          Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854, Chapter 1: Economy

---

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place
for a just man is also a prison.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          "Resistance to Civil Government" (aka "Civil Disobedience"),
          in Elizabeth Palmer Peabody, Editor. Æsthetic Papers.
          Boston: the Editor; New York: G.P. Putnam, 1849.
          quoted by William Butler in The Butterfly Revolution. London: Peter
          Owen, 1961, p.155

---

Why should we be in such desperate haste
to succeed and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears
however measured or far away.
     --Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
          Walden; or, Life in the Woods. Boston: Ticknor and Fields, 1854

---

Beware the superficially profound.
     --Kelvin Throop [Kelvin R. Throop III]
        fictional character created in Analog magazine in July 1964
        by R.A.J. Phillips (born mid-XXth century)

---

There is no such thing as a functional illiterate.
     --Kelvin Throop [Kelvin R. Throop III]
        fictional character created in Analog magazine in July 1964
        by R.A.J. Phillips (born mid-XXth century)

---

The Nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its
warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by
fools.
     --Θουκυδιδης [Thucydides](c.460-c.395 BCE)

---

You can't put your arms around a memory.
     --Johnny Thunders (1952-1991)
          "You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory", 1978 song

---

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)
          "The Glass in the Field", The New Yorker, 31 October 1939

---

I think that maybe if women and children
were in charge we would get somewhere.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)

---

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)
        painted on the street in the USC "Free Paint Area", May 1968
        University of Southern California in Los Angeles, California

---

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion
and unhappiness.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)

---

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)

---

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
     --James Thurber (1894-1961)

---

One may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or
about the veracity of a given experimenter, but, taking all the supportive
experiments together, the weight of evidence is so strong as readily to
merit a wise man's reflection.
     --William Tiller (born mid-XXth century)
        Stanford University, commenting on Psi research
          quoted in John Warren White and Stanley Krippner. Future Science: Life
          Energies and the Physics of Paranormal Phenomena. Garden City NY:
          Anchor Books, 1977, p.28

---

If doubt appears, it should not be considered as the negation of faith,
but as an element which was always and will always be present in the
act of faith. Existential doubt and faith are poles of the same reality,
the state of ultimate concern.
    variant: Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
     --Paul Tillich [Paul Johannes Tillich](1886-1965)
          F. Forrester Church, Editor. The Essential Tillich: An Anthology of the Writings of Paul Tillich. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987/1999, p.pp.25-26

---

The life-and-death struggle of rebellious autonomy with the powers of
religious suppression has left a deep scar in the "collective
unconscious."
     --Paul Tillich [Paul Johannes Tillich](1886-1965)
          "What Faith Is, Part 6: Faith and Community", in F. Forrester Church, Editor. The Essential Tillich: An Anthology of the
          Writings of Paul Tillich. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987/1999, p.26

---

People say, 'Be realistic.' As though reality needs encouragement.
     --James Tiptree Jr [Alice Bradley Sheldon](1915-1987)
          Brightness Falls from the Air. New York: T. Doherty Associates, 1985

---

Eddie's Father: You know, you don't have to be famous
    in history to be considered brave.
    Sometimes just ordinary living
    takes an awful lot of courage.
Eddie: I think I know what you mean.
Eddie's Father: I think you do.
     --Mark Toby (1913-1972)
          et al., The Courtship of Eddie's Father, (television show)
          spoken by Tom Corbett (Eddie's father) and Eddie Corbett (Brandon Cruz)

---

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and
write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
     --Alvin Toffler (1928-2016)
          Foreword to Rowan Gibson (Editor). Rethinking the Future.
          Sonoma CA: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 1997.
          This statement apparently is derived from a interview Toffler used in
          his earlier book Future Shock (New York: Random House, and London:
          Pan Books, 1970) from which he quoted Herbert Gerjuoy, a psychologist on
          staff of the Human Resources Research Organization: " Tomorrow's
          illiterate will not be the man who can't read; he will be the man who
          has not learned how to learn." (p.375)

---

Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist
has experienced.
     --Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

---

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its
own way.
     --Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
          Anna Karenina, Chapter 1. 1873-1877. (English translation by
          Nathan Haskell Dole. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1886)
              commentary: When Tolstoy wrote that all happy families are alike,
                  what he meant was that there are no happy families.
                      --Susan Cheever (born 1943). Treetops: A Family Memoir.
                          New York: Bantam Books, 1991, Part 2, Chapter 11

---

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.
     --Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

---

The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.
     --Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
          quoted in George Lansbury. Your Part in Poverty. New York:
          B.W. Huebsch, 1917, p.14; later references sometimes attribute the
          saying to Karl Marx [Karl Heinrich Marx](1818-1883), or Benjamin
          Disraeli (1804-1881)

---

98% of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest
Americans. It's the other lousy 2% that get all the publicity.
But then, we elected them.
     --Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)

---

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
     --Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)

---

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you
watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
     --Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)

---

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
     --Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)

---

No matter how cynical I get, it's just never enough to keep up.
     --Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)

---

Through this toilsome world, Alas!
Once and only once I pass.
If a kindness I may show,
If a good deed I may do
To a suffering fellow man,
Let me do it while I can.
No delay, for it is plain,
I shall not pass this way again.
     --Joseph A. Torrey (born mid-XIXth century?)
        The poem is adapted from a Quaker saying which appeared as early
        as the mid-1850s. One version of the original quote is:
            "I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore,
            that I can do, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it.
            For I shall not pass this way again."
                --often attributed to Stephen Grellet [Etienne de Grellet du Mabillier](1773-1855)
                    a Quaker Missionary from France to the United States,
                    though it does not appear in any of his printed writings;
                also sometimes attributed to William Penn (1644-1718) or
                Henry Drummond (1851-1897), or Sir Rowland Hill (1795-1879), or even the
                gravestone epitaph of Edward Courtenay, First Earl of Devon (died 1509)

---

Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important
stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;-)
     --Linus Torvalds [Linus Benedict Torvalds](born 1969)

---

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a
harbour.
     --Arnold J. Toynbee (1889-1975)
          quoted in Reader's Digest, October 1958

---

To worship is to stand in awe under a heaven of stars,
Before a flower, a leaf in sunlight, or a grain of sand.
To worship is to be silent, receptive,
before a tree astir with the wind,
or the passing shadow of a cloud.
To worship is to work with dedication and with skill;
it is to pause from work and listen to a strain of music.
To worship is to sing with the singing beauty of the earth;
it is to listen through a storm to the still small voice within.
Worship is a loneliness seeking communion;
It is a thirsty land crying out for rain.
Worship is kindred fire within our hearts;
it moves through deeds of kindness and through acts of love.
Worship is the mystery within us
reaching out to the mystery beyond.
It is an inarticulate silence yearning to speak;
It is the window of the moment open to the sky of the eternal.
     --Jacob Trapp (1899-1992)
        Unitarian Universalist Minister
          John Marks Templeton, Editor. Worldwide Worship: Prayers, Songs
          and Poetry. Radnor PA: Templeton Foundation Press, 2000, p.203

---

We cannot have the extraordinary without the ordinary. Just as the
supernatural is hidden in the natural. In order to fly, you need something
solid to take off from. It's not the sky that interests me but the ground.
     --P.L. Travers [Pamela Lyndon Travers] (1899-1996)
          quoted in Valerie Lawson. Out of the Sky She Came [Mary Poppins, She Wrote:
            The Life of P.L. Travers]. Sydney: Hodder & Stoughton, 1999, p.161

---

Health food makes me sick.
     --Calvin Trillin [Calvin 'Bud' Marshall Trillin](born 1935)

---

Our Fire Burns Bright


I have traveled the land.
I have seen the world.
I have heard it all.


The questions of my childhood,
I have answered.


The things I have dreamed of,
I have done.


But when I look
into the eyes of an Elder,
I have not done enough.
     --Lincoln 'Ch'igin' Tritt (1946-2012)
        Chief of the Gwich'in Native Village of Venetie Tribal Government
        Fairbanks, Alaska
          1993; Poster in Morris Thompson Cultural & Visitors Center, Fairbanks, Alaska

---

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
     --Marthe Troly-Curtin
           Phrynette Married. Toronto: Macmillan, 1912
          often attributed to Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), and sometimes to
          John Lennon (1940-1980), Dr Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990),
          T.S. Eliot (1888-1965), Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855),
          and others

---

A man ain't whipped until he quits, and I'll never give you that pleasure.
     --Guy W. Trosper (1911-1963)
          screenplay for Birdman of Alcatraz, 1962 film
          based on the book by Thomas E. Gaddis (1908-1984)
          spoken by Robert Franklin Stroud (Burt Lancaster), to a prison guard

---

I've always had the impression that real militants are like cleaning women,
doing a thankless, daily but necessary job.
     --François Truffaut (1932-1984)

---

L'adolescence ne laisse un bon souvenir qu'aux adultes ayant
mauvaise mémoire.
    [Adolescence leaves a pleasant impression only in the minds of adults
    endowed with very bad memories.]
     --François Truffaut (1932-1984)
          Arts, 3 June 1959, reprinted in Dominique Rabourdin, Editor.
          Truffaut by Truffaut. Paris: Chêne, 1985/New York: Harry N.
          Abrams, 1987, p.57; in this comment, Truffaut is describing the
          central theme of his landmark 1959 film, Les 400 coups [The
          Four Hundred Blows].

---

Having found the [atomic] bomb we have used it. . . . It is an awful
responsibility which has come to us. We thank God that it has come to us,
instead of to our enemies; and we pray that He may guide us to use it in
His ways and for His purposes.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America
          Radio Address to the American People on the Potsdam Conference,
          9 August 1945, delivered from the White House at 10pm; Public Papers of
          the Presidents, Harry S. Truman, Document #97 (trumanlibrary.org/)

---

He'll sit here and he'll say, "Do this! Do that!"
And nothing will happen.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America
        commenting on how Dwight D. Eisenhower would act as U.S. president
          quoted in John Hersey. Aspects of the Presidency. New Haven CT:
          Ticknor & Fields, 1980, p.xvi

---

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find
out what they want and then advise them to do it.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America

---

I never would have agreed to the formulation of the Central Intelligence
Agency back in '47, if I had known it would become the American Gestapo.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America
        1961

---

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party
he is a leader.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America

---

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America

---

Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
     --Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
        33rd president of the United States of America
          Lecture at Columbia University, 28 April 1959

---

All men lose when they die. And all men die, but a slave and a free
man lose different things. . . . A free man dies, he loses the
pleasure of life. A slave loses its pain. Death is the only freedom
a slave knows. That's why he's not afraid of it.
     --Dalton Trumbo (1905-1976)
          Spartacus, 1960 film, spoken by Spartacus (Kirk Douglas)

---

As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big.
     --Donald Trump (born 1946)

---

The Earth is the cradle of Mankind, but one cannot remain in the cradle forever.
     --Konstantin Tsiolkovsky [Konstantin Eduardovich Tsiolkovsky](1857-1935)

---

There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users'.
     --Edward Tufte [Edward Rolf Tufte](born 1942)

---

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
     --Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810-1889)

---

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
     --Alan Turing [Alan Mathison Turing, OBE, FRS](1912-1954)

---

I find some are born great, some achieve greatness, and
some thrust their greatness upon others.
     --Bonnie Turner (born mid-XXth century)
        and Terry Turner (born mid-XXth century)
          3rd Rock From the Sun, TV series, "Alien Hunter", 4 May 1999
          spoken by Dr Dick Solomon (John Lithgow)

---

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

America is New York, New Orleans, and San Francisco.
Everywhere else is Cleveland.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          quoted, unsourced, by (among others) Russell Brand. Revolution.
          New York: Ballantine Books, 2014, p.84

---

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Christians are all insane.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          this idea (though not an exact quote) comes from Chapter V
          of his book Christian Science, New York: Harper & Brothers,
          1907, pp.40-42, in which he also says that in matters of
          opinion everyone is insane: "just as insane as we are, just as
          insane as Shakespeare was. . . . every Mohammedan is insane . . . All
          Democrats are insane, but not one of the knows it; none but
          the Republicans and Mugwumps know it." He even provides
          a list, which includes (among many others), Atheists, Agnostics,
          Baptists, the "115 Christian sects, the Presbyterian excepted"
          (Twain was, himself, a Presbyterian!), Confucians, Theosophists,
          Swedenborgians, Homeopaths and a final listing of
          "______________", obviously inviting the reader to
          fill in the blank! In other words, he makes it obvious
          that he is not being literal and serious.

---

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          first published in Merle Johnson. More Maxims of Mark [Twain].
          privately printed, November 1927 [source: quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/04/twain-clothes/ ]

---

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane
system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and
not suspecting it.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly
teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

God made the idiot for practice, and then he made the School Board.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -- it's only a contrast with something
that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the
force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have
to get something fresh.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I . . . never could make a good impromptu speech without several
hours to prepare it.
    variant: It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a
        good impromptu speech.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          Speech to the Thirteenth Reunion of the Army of the Tennessee, at
          Haverly's Theater, Chicago, 12 November 1879, recounted in Paul Fatout,
          Editor. Mark Twain Speaking. Iowa City: Univesity of Iowa Press,
          1979, p.130; the variant is often attributed to Twain, unsourced;
          apparently, Twain made many different humourous references about the
          long preparation needed to make "impromptu" speeches;
          he made a tangential reference in his personal writings c.1888:
          "Only one good impromptu speech -- that was when Chaplain
          was closing a long, labored prayer & a dog bit him." (Mark Twain's
          Notebooks & Journals: [Volume III] 1883-1891. Berkeley: University of
          California Press, 1979, p.318)

---

I am pushing 60. That is enough exercise for me.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington.
He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week
sometimes to make it up.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I thoroughly disapprove of duels.
If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly
by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

I've been a writer for 20 years and an ass for 55.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would
deteriorate the cat.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          Notebook entry dated 1894, quoted in Albert B[igelow]. Paine (Editor).
          Mark Twain's Notebook. New York: Harper, 1935, p.236

---

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight
in the dog.
    variant: What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in
    the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
        quoted by Gen. Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969)
        34th president of the United States of America in his
        Speech to the Republican National Committee, 31 January 1958

---

Like most people, I feel mean and act accordingly.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the
man who can't read them
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not
understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
    variant: Most people are bothered by those passages of Scriptures
        they don't understand, but for me I have always noticed that the
        passages that bother me are those I do understand.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes,
but for real bona fide stupidity nothing beats teamwork.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
is that a cat has only nine lives.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Religion was born when the first con man met the first fool.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Sanity and Happiness are an impossible combination.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was
waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

There are many humorous things in the world, among
them the white man's notion that he is less savage
than the other savages.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

There are things a person can learn,
picking up a cat by the tail,
that they can learn no other way.
variant: If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot
    learn any other way.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
        widely quoted, unsourced; could well be a paraphrase of:
            "Uncle Abner said that the person that had took a bull by the tail
            once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn't,
            and said a person that started in to carry a cat home by
            the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to
            be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful."
                --Tom Sawyer Abroad. Leipzig: Bernhard Tauchnitz, 1894, p.184

---

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Three orders of men, by right, speak of themselves as "we".
These are editors, royal personages, and people with tapeworms.
    variants: Only presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms
        have the right to use the editorial "We."
    Only editors and people with tapeworms should say 'we' in writing.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
        "Mr Prentice", The Louisville Medical News
        Volumes 15-16, 1883, p.138

---

To be good is noble, but to show others
how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
(some quote the ending as ". . . and less trouble.")
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          Following the Equator, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar (1897)

---

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom
that is in it -- and stop there.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          Following the Equator, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar (1897)

---

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his
being able to deceive other people.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
     --Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)

---

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:
'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'
     --Robin Tyler (born 1942)

---

Afterwards, the only ones looking happy were the lions.
     --David Tynan (born mid-XXth century)
        Highlander: The Series, TV series, Finale, Season 3, 1995
        spoken by Methos (Peter Wingfield)

---

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
     --Kenneth Tynan (1927-1980)

---

Forty years ago [Noël Coward] was Slightly in Peter Pan, and you
might say that he has been wholly in Peter Pan ever since.
     --Kenneth Tynan [Kenneth Peacock Tynan](1927-1980)
          "Noël Coward ", Evening Standard, 4 July 1953
          this is considered by many to be a veiled reference to Coward's homosexuality,
          with Tynan going on to compare him to a number of other British notables as
          a "congenital bachelor"

---

Lord, give us the wisdom to utter words that are gentle and tender,
for tomorrow we may have to eat them.
     --Morris Udall [Morris King 'Mo' Udall](1922-1998)
          quoted in Sierra, May/June 1989

---

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind. . . .
Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by
deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up
enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the
heart and turns the spirit back to dust.
     --Samuel Ullman (1840-1924)
          "Youth", prose-poem written c.1918 when the author was 78
          often quoted by Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) who had a copy of
          the text hanging on the wall of his office in Tokyo while he was
          Supreme Commander for the Allied Powers following World War II

---

As a result of . . . investigating UFO reports since 1948,
the conclusions of Project Blue Book are: (1) no UFO reported,
investigated, and evaluated by the Air Force has ever given any
indication of threat to our national security; (2) there has been no
evidence submitted to or discovered by the Air Force that sightings
categorized as "unidentified" represent technological
developments or principles beyond the range of present day scientific
knowledge; and (3) there has been no evidence indicating that sightings
categorized as "unidentified" are extraterrestrial vehicles.
     --United States Air Force
          Bluebook: Original FBI Files, File Number 62-83894, "UFO FACT SHEET"
          retrieved from http://www.aip-bg.org/pdf/02a_partial.pdf on 2022.11.30

---

ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΑΥΤΩΝ
(one of several variations, the translation is usually
"Know Thyself")
     --unknown
          inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi,
          according to Pausanias (IInd century CE)

---

μηδεν αγαν
("shun excess" or "nothing in excess")
     --unknown
          inscription at the temple of Apollo at Delphi

---

640K [of personal computer memory] ought to be enough for anybody.
     --unknown
        universally attributed to Bill Gates [William Henry Gates](born 1955),
        the first probably in Infoworld, January 1980 [source:
        quoteinvestigator.com/2011/09/08/640k-enough/ ]
        and vigorously denied by Gates in many sources, including his own column
        "Computer Industry Offers Wealth of Career Options",
        Daily News (Los Angeles), 22 January 1996, p.B1, in response to a
        question from L. Marshall from the University of Waterloo

---

Accuracy (n.): The vice of being right.
     --unknown
        attributed wrongly on some Web sites to Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) --
        his definition was, "A certain uninteresting quality, carefully
        excluded from human statements."

---

Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.
     --unknown
        attributed, probably incorrectly, on some Web sites to
        Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

---

An adult is a dead child.
     --unknown
          plaque on wall in home of Paul Beaver (1926-1975),
          jazz musician and music producer

---

An after-dinner speech should be like a lady's dress -- long enough to
cover the subject and short enough to be interesting.
     --unknown
        spoken by R.A.Butler [Rab Butler/Richard Austen Butler,
        Baron Butler of Saffron Walden, KG CH DL PC](1902-1982)
        at a dinner party in June, 1957, but also heard in The Courtship of
        Andy Hardy, 1942, and some say may be older than that

---

Alimony: the screwing you get for the screwing you got.
     --unknown
          attributed to Drew Barrymore [Drew Blythe Barrymore](born 1975)
          in Boze Hadleigh (born 1954). Holy Matrimony!: Better Halves and Bitter
          Halves. Kansas City: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2003

---

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
     --unknown
          The Amos 'n' Andy Show, episode unknown, quoted in Albert Ellis.
          The Folklore of Sex. New York: Grove Press, 1961, p.43, as
          Kingfish's response when he's asked about showing interest in everyone
          but his wife at a New Year's Eve party

---

ALL THE PAST IS PROLOGUE
     --unknown
          inscription on the National Archives, Washington D.C.

---

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
     --unknown
          "Meade's Maxim", in John Peers. 1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate
          Axioms, Profound Principles, Trusty Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful
          Corollaries, Quotable Quotes, and RambunctiousRruminations for All Walks of
          Life. Garden City NY: Doubleday & Company, p.155
          often wrongly attributed to anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

---

Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
     --unknown
          attributed to Arthur C. Clarke (1917=2008) in .sig files attached to eMails
          from David Boxall (david.boxall.id.au/)

---

As things are, most Usenet postings are of no interest to socially
well-adjusted people over the age of twelve.
     --unknown
          Nature (magazine) editorial, 20 July 1995

---

As Zeus said to Narcissus, 'Watch yourself.'
     --unknown
          quoted in William A. Parrette. UNIX for Application Developers.
          New York: McGraw-Hill, 1991, p.228

---

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you have finished
saying it.
     --unknown

---

The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don't tell
you what to see.
     --unknown
          attributed to "Alexandra K. Trenfor" (pseudonym?), whose identity
          is a complete mystery, and whose quotation is prolific on posters and
          coffee mugs, always unsourced; sometimes also attributed to "Alexander" Trenfor!

---

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to
their diets.
     --unknown

---

Bradley's Bromide:
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee --
that will do them in.
     --unknown
          quoted by Robbert van Renesse, Andrew S. Tanenbaum and Sape J. Mullender.
          "The evolution of a distributed operating system", in Wolfgang
          Schröder-Preikschat and Wolfgang Zimmer, Editors. Progress in
          Distributed Operating Systems and Distributed Systems Management.
          Berlin: Springer-Verlag, 1990, p.2

---

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
     --unknown

---

Broke


'Twas in a restaurant they met
Romeo and Juliet.
He had no cash to pay the debt,
So Romeo'd what Juliet.
     --unknown
          quoted in Anthony Wons. Tony's Scrap Book, 1932-33 Edition.
          Chicago: Reilly & Lee, 1932, p.38

---

Cancel my subscription; I'm over your issues!
     --unknown
        Popular, television show, 1999-2001
        spoken by Samantha 'Sam' McPherson to Brooke McQueen, 1999 (episode unknown)

---

Children should be obscene and not heard.
     --unknown
        variously credited to W.C. Fields, Groucho Marx, even John Lennon! (and others)

---

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
     --unknown
        usually attributed to Ellen Parr (actual person unverified), or
        Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)

---

The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
     --unknown
        often attributed to Harry S. Truman (1884-1972), 33rd president of the
        United States of America

---

Diplomacy: lying in state.
     --unknown
        attributed wrongly on some Web sites to Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) --
        his definition was, "The patriotic art of lying for one's country"

---

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
     --unknown
        sometimes credited to Theodore Seuss Geisel [Dr Seuss](1904-1991)
        also Gabriel Garcia Márquez (No llores porque ya se
        terminó . . . sonríe, porque sucedió)

---

Don't get so excited about growing up. It's a trap.
variant: Don't grow up. It's a trick.
     --unknown
          slogan quoted passim on the Web and seen on T-shirts
          sometimes associated with Peter Pan (especially the 1953 Disney
          version), but not verified there

---

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
    variant: He has a fine command of language . . .
        he seldom lets anny [sic] escape.
     --unknown
          variant appeared (without authorship noted) in New York Times,
          11 August 1900, p.6;
          see quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/22/fine-say/ for more detail

---

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow.
    variant: Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
     --unknown
        often credited to James Dean (1931-1955), but some claim that is a hoax,
        as Dean famously died young
        the idea is similar to a quote attributed to Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948):
        "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live
        forever.", and to the saying (hadith) of the Prophet Muhammad:
        "Live for your afterlife as if you will die tomorrow, and live
        for this life as if you will live forever."

---

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
     --unknown
          attributed (possibly incorrectly) to George Orwell (1903-1950) in
          Charlie Walker (born 1931). My Few Wise Words of Wisdom. Wakefield,
          West Yorkshire: Walker, 2000

---

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into
jet engines.
     --unknown
        attributed both to Jason Hutchison and John Benfield

---

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day,
expressed in M&Ms: 250
     --unknown
          Harper's Index, October 1989

---

Faint heart never won fair lady.
     --unknown
          originally a Middle English saying (c.1550), included in many
          subsequent sources, including a 1672 English-Latin phrasebook
          as FORTES FORTUNAT ADIUVAT (Fortune favours the bold),
          and Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra's El ingenioso hidalgo don
          Quijote de la Mancha [Don Quixote], 1605-1615

---

Faire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait
attendre, c'est pour mieux vous servir, et vous plaire.
[Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you
better, and to please you.]
     --unknown
          Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans, c.1963

---

A fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the
subject.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Winston Churchill (1874-1965), and sometimes to
          Harry S. Truman (1884-1972, 33rd U.S. president)

---

A fight does not need a winner. A fight needs a solution.
     --unknown
        usually credited to rivka (possibly @Rivka = Rivka Volalin)

---

GAUDEAMUS IGITUR IUVENES DUM SUMUS
POST IUCUNDAM IUVENTUTEM
POST MOLESTAM SENECTUTEM
NOS HABEBIT HUMUS
     --unknown
          XIII-century Latin manuscript, also a song dating from early XVIII century

---

Go not unto Usenet for advice, for the denizens will say both yes, and no,
and maybe, and I don't know, and buzz off, and . . .
     --unknown
        attributed to "unknown net.wit" (!)

---

God is seated in the hearts of all.
     --unknown
          Bhagavad Gita, c.400 BCE

---

God runs electromagnetics on Monday, Wednesday and Friday by the wave
theory, and the Devil runs it on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday by the
Quantum theory.
    variant: God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday,
        Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory
        on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
     --unknown
          usually attributed to William Bragg [Sir William Henry Bragg OM, KBE, PRS]
          (1862-1942), though according to Margaret Cheney (Tesla: Man Out of
          Time,New York: Touchstone, 1981, p.262), Nikola Tesla (1856-1943)
          believed the saying was his original idea

---

A great many laws in a country, like many physicians, is a sign of malady.
     --unknown
        attributed to François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)

---

happiness: Highly coveted but elusive state that resists precise
definition because it varies over time, among individuals,
and across cultures, though most people would agree that it is
transitory. Its opposite, unhappiness, is much easier to define
and seems to be a lot more prevalent.
Historical note: In America, the notion that happiness is attainable
got a big boost when the Declaration of Independence made its
pursuit an "inalienable right".
     --unknown

---

Harrison's Postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
     --unknown
          widely quoted, unsourced

---

Homosexuals are just like everybody else - only more so.
     --unknown
          unnamed 'friend of mine', quoted by Faubion Bowers in "Homosex:
          Living the life", Saturday Review, 12 February 1972, p.27

---

Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody [sic]
I would never had lit one.
     --unknown
          Maxim of the Hells Angels, as quoted in Hunter S. Thompson.
          Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga. New York:
          Random House/Ballantine Books, 1966

---

Honi soit qui mal y pense [Evil be to him who thinks evil]
     --unknown
          Order of the Garter (Great Britain)

---

How do I know when somebody is real and not
a phony? Why man, how do I know when the
sun is out? It's just all warm -- you can feel it .
     --unknown
          participant in a group sensitivity training program

---

How do you make a small fortune in Texas oil?
Start with a big one.
     --unknown
          among the many variants found on the Web are those which replace "Texas
          oil" with the ski industry, the country of Belize, Wall Street,
          football, ranching, and so forth.

---

The human heart sees things the eyes cannot,
and knows what the mind cannot understand.
The heart understands things the eyes cannot begin to see.
     --unknown
          this idea was included in the epilogue of They Might Be Giants,
          1971 film, Universal Pictures

---

Humanity isn't a civilization; it's an infestation.
     --unknown

---

I am not bound to win,
But I am bound to be true.
I am not bound to succeed,
But I am bound to live up to what light I have.
I must stand with anybody that stands right:
Stand with him while he is right,
And part with him when he goes wrong.
     --unknown
          often attributed (probably inaccurately) to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

---

I beg to inform you
that the hand that rocked the cradle
has kicked the bucket.
     --unknown
          in a letter from one brother to another informing of the death
          of their mother (related by Prof. Templeman, USC, 1969)

---

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to
please everyone.
     --author unknown
        cited by Bill Cosby [Dr William Henry Cosby Jr](born 1937) as good
        advice that he once read elsewhere, in "Dr Bill Cosby",
        Ebony, Volume 32, Number 8, June 1977, p.136

---

I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
     --unknown

---

I know you believe you understand
what you think I said . . .
But I am not sure you realize
that what you heard is not what I meant!
     --unknown
          on a sign posted in Mrs Phelan's classroom,
          Dorsey High, Los Angeles, 14 May 1969

---

I may not have had the best childhood, but I've certainly had the longest.
     --unknown
          slogan on many mugs, T-shirts and other widely-marketed items

---

I prefer to think of it as the Prime Suggestion.
     --unknown
        perhaps a hoax quote, spoken by Capt James T. Kirk, referring to
        the Star Trek PrimeDirective

---

I really hate this damn machine,
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want,
But only what I tell it.
     --unknown
          the poem is said to have "appeared" on a bulletin board in a
          room full of computer terminals, according to John Shore. The Sachertorte
          Algorithm: And Other Antidotes to Computer Anxiety. New York: Penguin
          Group, 1985, p.113

---

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
     --unknown
          attributed to Brian W. Kernighan in Grenville Kleiser, Editor.
          Dictionary of Proverbs. New Delhi: S.B. Nangia/A.P.H. Publishing
          Corporation, 2005, p.86, though this may be because Kernighan and Rob Pike
          reproduced the saying from the widely-circulated "fortune"
          usenet database in their book, The UNIX Programming Environment.
          Englewood Cliffs NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1984, p.91

---

If evil is spoken of you let your life refute the falsehood.
     --unknown
          one of the lines of advice given on a slip of paper to James A. Garfield
          (1831-1881), 20th president of the United States of America, when he was
          a young man

---

If life didn't suck, I'd be an optimist.
    -S. Freud
Instead, I'm a Rotarian.
    -D. Quayle
     --unknown
          NOTE: James Danforth 'Dan' Quayle was vice president of the United States
          of America from 1989-1993

---

If we'd been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we
would believe what they believe.
     --unknown
          sign inside Holy Cross Church/School in Belfast, Northern Ireland

---

If you love somebody, let them go.
If they return, they were always yours.
If they don't, they never were.
    variant: If you love something, set it free.
          If it returns, it was always yours.
          If it doesn't, it never was.
    parody: If you love someone, set them free;
        if they come home, set them on fire.
            --George Carlin (1937-2008)
     --unknown

---

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
     --unknown
        in June 1974, this wording was attributed to Robert Orben (born 1927);
        often attributed to Derek Bok [Derek Curtis Bok](born 1930)
        25th president of Harvard University, 1971-1990, which he has denied;
        it is even sometimes referred to as "Bok's Law"
        the idea has been around much longer:
                Education is 'expensive'? In a sense, yes. But ignorance is
                infinitely more expensive.
                    --Editorial: "The cost of education and the cost of ignorance",
                        [Galveston, Texas] Daily News, 3 August 1913, p.18
                Education is expensive; but it isn't as expensive as ignorance.
                    --"Tom Sims Says", [Sandusky, Ohio] The Star-Journal,
                        1 May 1923, p.12
                Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.
                    --Sir Claus Moser [Claus Adolf Moser, Baron Moser, KCB, CBE](born 1922),
                        quoted in Ralph Keyes. The Quote Verifier. New York:
                        St Martin's Press, 2006, p.115

---

If you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight.
     --unknown
          attributed in usenet groups to "anonymous IBMer on why IBM software
          uses so much memory", quoted in Kurt P. Brown. Goal-oriented Memory
          Allocation in Database Management Systems. Ph.D. Thesis, University of
          Wisconsin-Madison, 1995, p.37; and in Computer Sciences Technical
          Report, 1995

---

IGNORANTIA NIHIL EXCUSAT [Ignorance excuses nothing]
     --unknown
          variant of the legal principle IGNORANTIA LEGIS NIHIL EXCUSAT
          usually rendered as, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse"

---

In order to know where you're going, you have to know where you've been.
    variants: You can't know where you're going unless you know where
            you've been.
        In order to get where you want to go, you have to start from where
            you are now.
        Don't forget where you came from. (XIXth century aphorism.)
     --unknown
          quoted by Prof. Bambi Haggins (Arizona State University) in
          Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley, 2013 HBO special;
          variants of the saying have appeared in print, for example in: "Power plant
          held bar to air growth" (American Aviation, Volume 1 Number 3, 1937),
          and in the transcript of a discussion following "Dialogue concerning
          art and creativity" (Conference on Creativity as a Process.
          Boston: Institute of Contemporary Art, 1956). [source: Charles
          Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder and Fred R. Shapiro, Editors. The Dictionary
          of Modern Proverbs. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2012, p.134]

---

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most
intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable
to change.
     --unknown
        attributed to Charles Darwin [Charles Robert Darwin, FRS](1809-1882),
        though this attribution is disputed and various forms of the quote are
        attributed to several other writers. including Clarence Darrow (1857-1938)

---

It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
always thus.
     --unknown
          usually attributed to Dean Lattimer, unsourced (might be Dean Latimer of
          High Times, New York Daily News, &c.)

---

It's easy to live until you find out that
growing up means giving in.
     --unknown
          "In the Wind", sung by John Gary
          Steve Allen Show (television) airing 14 December 1970

---

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
     --unknown

---

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is.
If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't
our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
     --unknown
          attributed to Oxford University Press, Edpress News (unverified)
          (NOTE: Edpress News is a USA publication of the Educational Press Ass'n
          a search of Oxford University Press Web sites in UK and US yielded nothing,
          and eMails kindly sent from Oxford University Press staff
          also turned up nothing)

---

Jesus died to save us from our sins.
If we don't sin, his death was in vain.
RIGHT?
     --unknown
          University Christian Movement poster, 1967

---

Jesus said, "Why do you not judge for yourselves what is right?"
(Luke XII:57 RSV). Such sovereign freedom strikes terror in the hearts of
many Christians; they would rather be under law and be told what is right.
Yet Paul himself echoes Jesus' sentiment when he says, "Do you not
know that we are to judge angels? How much more, matters pertaining
to this life!" (I Corinthians VI:3 RSV).
     --unknown
          authored and posted on rantweb.proboards.com on 6 April 2008 by midcan5

---

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
     --unknown

---

Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
open it and you remove all doubt.
    variant: It is better to remain silent at the risk of being
        thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.
     --unknown
        often attributed to Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910),
        among others; the variant appears in Maurice Switzer. Mrs Goose,
        Her Book. New York: Moffat, Yard & Company, 1907, p.29

---

Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
If at first you don't suceed, transform your data set.
     --unknown
          quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell, 1979/
          New York: Dover, 2013, p.66

---

Laws of Computer Programming
(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
(6) The value of a program is porportional to the
        weight of its output.
(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
        programmer who must maintain it.
(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English,
        and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.
     --unknown
          ACM SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 2 Number 2, 1967;
          quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell, 1979/
          New York: Dover, 2013, p.66

---

Let
that man
who would know
the true shape
of
his God . . .
first
be bent
by the wind . . .
and scorched by
the sun . . .
Let him also
taste
the salt
rock . . . and chew
the
sweet
rain.
Yet
even
one more thing . . .
he must look
steadfast
at last
into
the eye
of
his
fellow
man . . . !
     --unknown

---

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
     --unknown

---

Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
    variant: Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.
     --unknown
        various forms of this quote attributed to Betty Talmadge (1923-2005);
        Thomas La Mance; Margaret Millar [Margaret Ellis Sturm Millar](1915-1994),
        in her book Beyond This Point are Monsters (London: Gollancz, 1970);
        William Gaddis (1922-1998); and Lily Tomlin (born 1939); earliest known
        attribution was to Allen Saunders (1899-1986), in the January 1957 issue of
        Reader's Digest, according to Fred R. Shapiro (Editor). Yale Book
        of Quotations. New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006, p.666
        variant from "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)", by
        John Lennon [John Winston Lennon/John Ono Lennon](1940-1980), written
        for his son Sean, and included in the album Double Fantasy (1980)

---

Listen to the voice of God!
Around you! Within You! Listen!
He calls you to grow!
To stretch your mind with new knowledge;
To stretch your muscles with clean play
    and hard work;
To stretch your heart to include new friends;
To stretch your soul and fill it with
    beauty and hope and great purposes!
Listen to the voice of God!
     --author unknown
          used in the YMCA Gold Rag study guide

---

Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.
     --unknown
          included in many compilations of jokes about sex, always unsourced

---

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
     --unknown
          usually attributed, unsourced, to Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---

Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
    variant: Many are called, few volunteer.
     --unknown
          quoted in William A. Parrette. UNIX for Application Developers.
          New York: McGraw-Hill, 1991, p.228

---

Market failure, n. The inability of the market to recover from a blow by
[government] intervention.
     --unknown
          quoted in the online eMail/blog signature of Vernon R. Imrich (born c.1970)
          (vimrich@athena.mit.edu) and attributed to "The Exchange"

---

A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted.
    variant: A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept
    and the hours are lost.
     --unknown
        often incorrectly attributed to "James T. Kirk",
        the Star Trek character

---

Men fight for freedom; then they begin to accumulate laws to take it
away from themselves.
     --unknown
        often attributed to Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), Third president of the
        United States of America, who did write a similar sentiment:
        "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yeild [sic]
        and government to gain ground." (Letter to Edward Carrington,
        Paris, 27 May 1788)

---

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
    variants: Military intelligence is an oxymoron.
        The words "military" and "intelligence" don't belong together.
     --unknown
        the quote, or its variants were definitely used by Groucho Marx
        [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977), George Carlin (1937-2008), and others,
        including the earliest known reference, British Brigadier-General John
        Charteris, At G.H.Q., London: Cassell and Company, 1931, pp.135-136
        [source: quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/02/oxymoron-intelligence/ ]

---

Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
sheep's testicles for a bet . . . God, that bloody sheep kicked him . . .
     --unknown
          attributed to Ripping Yarns (TV series, 1976-79) written by
          Michael Palin (born 1943) and Terry Jones (born 1942), but a
          recent viewing of all nine episodes on DVD turned up no such quote

---

Money talks, but all it says is goodbye.
    variant: Money talks . . . but all mine keeps saying is "goodbye".
     --unknown
          quoted in Martin H. Manser. The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs,
          Second Edition. New York: Infobase Publishing, 2002/2007, p.190

---

The more virtuous a man is, the more virtue
does he see in others.
     --unknown

---

Morrie: You know, Jim, I think our country's really in trouble.
Jim: Yeah, our subways aren't safe . . .
Morrie: our streets aren't safe . . .
Jim: our parks aren't safe . . .
Morrie: but under our arms, we've got complete protection.
     --unknown
          Can You Top This? (television show) airing 5 June 1970
          (joke repeated on You Can't Do That on Television, mid-1980s)

---

Most non-Catholics know that the Catholic schools are rendering a greater
service to our nation than the public schools in which subversive textbooks
have been used, in which Communist-minded teachers have taught, and from
whose classrooms Christ and even God Himself are barred.
     --unknown
          Our Sunday Visitor, an American-Catholic newspaper, circa 1949

---

Mr Cole's Axiom:
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population
is growing.
     --unknown
          widely quoted, unsourced; referred to by Laurence J. Peter as "Harvard's
          Second Law" (Peter's People, New York: William Morrow and
          Company, 1979, p.194)

---

The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
     --unknown
        often attributed to François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)

---

Never eat more than you can lift.
     --unknown
        spoken by Muppet character Miss Piggy

---

Never resist temptation. Try everything once.
     --unknown
          sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills
          Wilde](1854-1900)

---

Never think that what you have to offer is insignificant. there will
always be someone out there that needs what you have to give.
     --unknown
          widely distributed on posters, &c. as a 'motivational quote', unsourced

---

Never try to tear down someone's feeling of importance -- even in
a kidding way.
     --unknown
          sometimes attributed to Albert Ellis, Ph.D. (1913-2007)

---

News Item: Two Berkeley, California, psychotherapists sued the local
telephone company for $10 million in damages they claimed resulted
from the cutoff of their phone service far three days. They complained
that being unable to make calls caused them severe emotional distress.
     --unknown

---

No matter how great a man is, the size of his funeral usually
depends on the weather.
     --unknown
          quoted in The Liguorian, Volume 59, 1971, p.64
          often attributed to Rosemary Clooney (1928-2002)

---

Nothing is any good if other people like it.
     --unknown
          logo seen on Roy's T-shirt in The IT Crowd, TV series,
          "Italian for Beginners", 2010

---

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
     --unknown
          last words, supposedly, of François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778),
          spoken on his deathbed in response to a priest asking
          that he renounce Satan; this same quote is often attributed to
          several other famous people, as noted in Ralph Keyes. The Quote Verifier:
          Who Said What, Where and When, New York: St Martin's Press, 2006, p.117

---

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman
gain five pounds.
     --unknown

---

The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years
is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds.
     --unknown
          attributed to The Indianapolis Star

---

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for
good men to do nothing.
     --unknown
          widely attributed to Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
          Burke apparently never wrote these words, but did pen a similar thought:
          "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will
          fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle"
          Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents, 1770, published
          in Walter King and French Laurence, Editors. The Works of the Right
          Honourable Edmund Burke, Volume 1. London: printed for J. Dodsley,
          Pall Mall, 1792, p.495

---

The orthodox exist in order that the Saint may have his heart's desire.
     --unknown

---

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
    variant: Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.
     --unknown
          quoted in Haruki Murakami. What I Talk About When I Talk About
          Running. London: Harvill Secker, 2008
          also attributed to Buddhist saying; M. Kathleen Casey (born mid-XXth
          century); and Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama (born 1936)

---

Pain is weakness leaving the body.
     --unknown
          United States Marine Corps recruiting propaganda, later heard widely
          in the fitness community; quoted in Fresh Off the Boat,
          "Boy II Man" (29 September 2015), spoken by Evan Huang (Ian Chen)

---

Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.
Karl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time
allotted it.
     --unknown
          apparently "Karl" refers to Internet pioneer Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)

---

Pat: My new thesaurus is terrible.
Jean: How bad is it?
Pat: It's terrible.
     --unknown
          AARP Bulletin, June 2016, p.46

---

People arent even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings,
sleeping together, and ending up in situationships.
     --unknown
          widely re-blogged (c.2016), unsourced

---

People should only make art that makes other people
feel good, because art that makes you feel bad
is a form of abuse.
     --unknown
          Greg the Bunny, TV series, 2001-02, IFC/Fox
          spoken as Greg and a friend are visiting an art gallery
          in an "extras" segment from DVD Disc 2 called "Reality"

---

Pray don't find fault with the man who limps
    or stumbles along the road,
unless you have worn the shoes he wears
    or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
    though hidden away from view,
or the burden he bears, placed on your back
    might cause you to stumble too.
Don't sneer at the man who's down today
    unless you have felt the blow
that caused his fall or felt the shame
    that only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
    that were his if dealt to you,
in the selfsame way, at the selfsame time,
    might cause you to stagger too.
Don't be too harsh with the man who sins
    or pelt him with word or stone,
unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
    that you have no sins of your own
for you know perhaps if the tempter's voice
    should whisper as softly to you
as it did to him when he went astray,
    it might cause you to stumble too.
     --author unknown
            sometimes credited to Rama Muthukrishnan (dates unknown)
            published in The Lather, Vol.27-28, 1926, p.23,
            and The Western Dental Bulletin, Volume 10, 1930, p.115,
            inter alia

---

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
    variant: A preacher is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
     --unknown
          an old joke repeated by W.H. Auden, as quoted in The Pleasures of
          Publishing, Volume VII Number 15, 15 April 1940, though variations
          of the joke have appeared in print earlier
          (see: www.audensociety.org/definition.html )

---

Protect Your Bits
     --unknown
          poster seen in The IT Crowd, TV series, "Italian for Beginners", 2010

---

Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A: I don't know and I don't care.
     --unknown
          AARP Bulletin, January/February 2016, p.46

---

Question Authority.
     --unknown
          slogan seen on bumper-stickers, posters and T-shirts beginning in the 1960s
          parodies: Question Authority, But Not Your Mother
              Do Not Question Authority (superimposed on a picture of a police officer
                  in riot gear, baton raised)

---

Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.
     --unknown
          Indiana University fans' chant for their perennially bad football team,
          unsourced

---

Sex is like snow . . . You never know how many inches you're going to get
or how long it will last.
     --unknown
          first (?) seen on a T-Shirt advertised in Mother Jones, Volume 9
          Number 11, February/March 1984, p.61

---

Some people have all the luck:
they're the ones who don't depend on it!
     --unknown
          Echo Park [Los Angeles, California] Food Market poster

---

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
     --unknown
        often attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), 16th president of the
        United States of America, without attribution

---

Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll
believe you. . . . Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll
have to touch it to be sure.
     --unknown
          sometimes attributed to Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

---

Templo de la verdad es el que miras.
No desoigas la voz con que te advierte
que todo es ilusión menos la muerte.
[The temple of truth is that which you see. Do not ignore the voice
that warns you that everything is illusion except death.]
     --unknown
          inscription over a doorway in El cementerio de San Nicolás, Madrid
          (closed in 1884, demolished as of 1912)
          noted in Azorín [José Martînez Ruiz, 1873-1967].
          Obras Completas de Azorín, Tomo II: La Voluntas.
          Madrid: Rafael Caro Raggio: Editor, 1919, p.240

---

That does not compute.
     --unknown
        My Living Doll, television series, 1964-65, spoken by
        Rhoda Miller/AAF709 (Julie Newmar); line also used in Lost in Space,
        television series, 1965-68, spoken by the Robot (Bob May)

---

THE END OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN CALLED OFF, DUE TO THE
LACK OF TRUMPETERS.
     --unknown
          University Christian Movement poster, 1967

---

THE MEEK DON'T WANT IT!
     --unknown
          graffiti on back of truck, Santa Monica Freeway, 21 June 1982, 3pm

---

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand
binary and those who don't.
     --unknown

---

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Woody Allen, unsourced; also sometimes referred to as
          one of "Murphy's Laws of Sex"

---

There is no statute of limitations on stupidity.
    variant: There should be a statue of limitations on stupidity.
     --unknown
          usenet posts note that the saying is "Randomly produced by a computer
          program called Markov3", while U.S. News and World Report
          (Volume 103, 1987) reports that Robert Bork and Joe Biden have invoked the
          variant to excuse things they've said or done in the past

---

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility
lies in being superior to your former self.
     --unknown
          variously attributed to Elijah Wood (probably not the actor),
          Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) and Indian (Hindu) Proverb

---

There's a fine line between foolishness and bravery. Too bad it isn't a
fence.
     --unknown
          Fractured Realms Multi-User Dungeon (MUD), PlayStation game, c.1997

---

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969, 34th U.S. president),
          or Gerald R. Ford (1913-2006, 38th U.S. president), or simply quoted
          without attribution

---

Things don't happen the way they used to --
but they still happen!
     --unknown
          Tabu (perfume) commercial, December 1969

---

Things you resist tend to persist.
     --unknown
          bumpersticker from The Institute for Human Resources, c.1969

---

Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.
     --unknown
          often sourced to François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778),
          Traité sur la tolérance, à l'occasion de la mort de
          Jean Calas [Treatise on Tolerance], 1763, but cannot be found there,
          though similar thoughts are expressed in Voltaire's Dictionnaire
          philosophique, 1764, in the essay titled "Liberté de
          penser" ["Freedom of Thought"] in the conversation between
          Boldmind and Medroso

---

This book fills a much-needed gap.
     --unknown
        most often credited to Moses Hadas (1900-1966), probably because it was
        quoted and sourced to him by Robert Byrne (born 1930). 1,911 Best Things
        Anybody Ever Said. New York: Random House, 1988, p.108;
        quoteinvestigator.com/ notes that this could not be sourced further
        to a Hadas paper or speech, then gives a number of other sources for quotes
        by other authors with very similar ideas

---

This hat's not big enough for both of us.
     --unknown
        attributed in tagline databases to Guinan, a character in the
        Star Trek: The Next Generation TV series, perhaps (only) a joke

---

This, man was born to do
To fight for truth and win;
And in defeat, admit defeat,
Without defeat within.
     --unknown
          Traveler's Times (leaflet distributed at Clifton's Cafeteria, Los Angeles, c.1970)

---

Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935),
          unsourced

---

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
     --unknown

---

To steal from one person is plagiarism, from many is research.
    variant: Felson's Law:
        To steal from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
        is research.
     --unknown
          quoted, unsourced (!), by Eleanor Palffy. Largely Fiction.
          Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1948

---

Transform your inhibitions into exhibitions.
     --unknown
          painted on the street in the USC "Free Paint Area", May 1968
          University of Southern California in Los Angeles, California

---

Truth decays into beauty, while beauty soon becomes merely charm.
Charm ends up as strangeness, and even that doesn't last, but up
and down are forever.
     --unknown
        sometimes (whimsically?) attributed as The Laws of Physics

---

Two percent of people do. Ninety-eight percent of people wish they had.
     --unknown
          quoted by David Fanshawe (?-2010) in his documentary film,
          African Sanctus (1975)

---

Vote early and vote often.
     --unknown
          according to Ralph Keyes, in The Quote Verifier,
          New York: St Martin's Press, 2006, pp.237-238, this quote was
          referenced in an 1858 speech by South Carolina representative
          William Porcher Miles, in which he reported that the admonition was
          seen on election banners in "one of our Northern cities";
          since then the saying has been attributed to many others, including
          the gangster Al Capone (1899-1947)

---

We have watched what they will do to the Bible, which they allege to hold
as sacred. Should we wonder what they will do with mere secular
documents like the Constitution?
     --unknown
        posted over the usenet name drieux [drieux@wetware.com]

---

We're here to give you a computer, not a religion.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga

---

Well, you presumably believe that the best solution that this omnipotent
God could find to the problem of Adam eating an apple, was to pop down
to Earth as a man, get nailed to a cross, come alive again, and then
ascend into Heaven. You presumably believe that it is immensely important
to this omnibenevolent God that you believe the above unlikely tale,
else he might toss you into a lake of fire where there will be much
weeping and gnashing of teeth. Try as I might, I can't see too much
reason in this.
     --unknown
          quoted by Dean Haley (dhaley@mihi.une.edu.au) in his eMail signature
          retrieved 2012-10-14 from cd.textfiles.com/spaceandast/TEXT/SPACEDIG/V15_1/V15NO149.TXT

---

What can a pigeon do that a West Texas oil man can't do anymore?
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Mercedes.
     --unknown
          among the many variants found on the Web are those which replace "West
          Texas oil man" with Yuppie stockbroker, a Lehman banker, and so forth;
          one variant changes both ends of the saying: "What can a pigeon do
          that a farmer can't? Make a deposit on a John Deere tractor."

---

What is it about Lwaxana Troi that makes me melt?
     --unknown
          Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, TV series, 1993-1999
          purportedly spoken by Commander Odo (Rene Auberjonois)
          (this is a parody based on the "The Forsaken" [1993] episode
          in which Odo melts in Lwaxana Troi's lap)

---

What is truth? What is beauty?
The truth is what I love.
The beautiful is what loves me.
     --unknown

---

What is youth?
It is a beautiful flower
But know this:
Even the sweetest rose will fade.
Youth is a transitory dream,
More remembered than lived.
Let us glory in our youth
But be cautious not to become
    its vain possessor.
For if youth is your vanity
    it is all that you have.
And when the cup has been dashed from your lips,
    you will have nothing.
Nothing but a memory turned bitter.
Decay woos us all
And death will be our rendezvous.
     --unknown
          graffiti seen in Long Beach, California, July 1969

---

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
     --unknown
          included in many compilations of jokes about sex, always unsourced;
          in a bizarre exception, Richard E. Baldwin (In or Out: Does it Matter?.
          London: Centre for Economic Policy Research, 2006, p.30) claims this is
          something Hagrid said to Harry Potter, but surely he must be joking, as the
          saying predates the Harry Potter series by a couple of decades, at least

---

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand
to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
     --unknown
          widely attributed to Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
          though it is not found in any of his published writings; on the other
          hand, it is never attributed to anyone else; many variants exist,
          with ages varying from 14 to 18 (boy) and 21 to 27 (man)
          [source: quoteinvestigator.com/ ]

---

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray
for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
     --unknown
          often attributed to Tecumseh [Tecumtha/Tekamthi](1768-1813), also
          sometimes to Sitting Bull (c.1831-1890), Crazy Horse (c.1840-1877),
          or Wovoka [Jack Wilson](c.1856-1932)

---

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
     --unknown
        widely attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882); also sometimes
        attributed to Charles A. Beard (1874-1948)

---

When two people agree on everything,
One is unnecessary.
     --unknown
        seen on a church billboard, Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles
        versions of this quote are attributed to Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
        and to William Wrigley (quoted in Reader's Digest, July 1940,
        according to Fred R. Shapiro [Editor]. Yale Book of Quotations.
        New Haven: Yale University Press, 2006)
            variants: Wenn zwei Menschen immer wieder die gleichen Ansichten
                haben, ist einer von ihnen überflüssig.
            If two people are always of the same opinion, then one of them
                is superfluous.
            If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that [only]
                one of them is doing the thinking. --Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)

---

When two people love,
one always loves more.
     --unknown
          promo for More, 1969 film, Warner Bros./7 Arts

---

When you philosophically oppose an entire power elite, you cannot help but
sound like a conspiracy theorist. Social power is by nature a conspiracy.
     --unknown
        occasionally attributed to Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
        widely attributed on copycat quote Web sites to "Tom N" (unsourced)
        apparently a usenet name (associated with tom@somewhere.invalid on
        compgroups.net, e.g.)

---

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.
     --unknown
          Virgin Atlantic television commercial, 1997

---

The word Hatred must be cancelled by the word Love,
which must be lived.
     --unknown
          New Haven, Connecticut radio station WAVZ
          contest gimmick, February 1972

---

The world is full of rules. Be the exception. Challenge all givens.
     --unknown
          Audi (automobile) commercials, 2015
          a variation on the ubiquitous poster/bumper-sticker slogan
          "Question Authority" popular in the 1970s

---

Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd (The Truth against the World)
     --unknown
          Welsh Bardic motto

---

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word.
    variants: You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with
        just a kind word.
    You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a
        kind word alone.
     --unknown
          attributed to Irwin Corey ['Professor' Irwin Corey](1914-2017)
          in Paul Dickson. The Official Explanations. New York: Delacorte
          Press, 1980; much more often attributed to Al Capone [Alphonse Gabriel
          Capone/Al 'Scarface' Capone](1899-1947), e.g. in Richard B. McKenzie.
          Bound to be Free. Stanford CA: Hoover Institution on War, Revolution
          and Peace, 1982, p.75 (who sourced it this way: "As related by my
          colleague Hugh Macaulay", Chapter 4 Note 1, p.181)

---

You can log off anytime you like . . . but you can never leave . . .
     --unknown
          "Fandom de la Homestuck", a parody of The Eagles song, "Hotel California"

---

You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.
     --unknown
        variously credited to Greek, African, Chinese, Russian or American proverb;
        Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881); Walter Bagehot (1826-1877); Winston
        Churchill (1874-1965); Philip Noel-Baker (1889-1982); Rashi Fein
        (born c.1930); Vaclav Havel (1936-2011); and Jeffrey Sachs (born 1954)
            variant: There is nothing more dangerous than to leap a
            chasm in two jumps. (variant attributed to David Lloyd George
            [1863-1945] as quoted in Frederick Lewis Schuman [1904-1981]. Design
            for Power: The Struggle for the World. New York: Alfred A. Knopf,
            1941, p.200)

---

You don't have to explain something you never said.
     --unknown
          attributed (unsourced) to Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933, 30th U.S. president),
          Sam Rayburn (1882-1961, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives
          between 1940 and 1961), and "Funny Car Bumper Sticker", &c.

---

You have two ends in life: one for sitting and one for thinking.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
     --unknown

---

"You're what!?!" is the most common form of marriage proposal.
     --unknown
          quoted in Lawrence Dorfman, Editor. The Illustrated Dictionary of Snark:
          A Snide, Sarcastic Guide to Verbal Sparring, Comebacks, Irony, Insults, and
          Much More. New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2013

---

Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime [sin] to waste it
on children [on the young].
    variant: Youth is wasted on the young.
     --unknown
          quoted in Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations.
              Washington DC: Library of Congress, 1989
              attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) and also, by some, to
              Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)

---

Der Held aus Juda siegt mit Macht.
Und schließt den Kampf.
Es ist vollbracht.
    [See Judah's hero triumphs now, and ends the fight. It is accomplished.]
     --unknown, after St John 19:30 (and elsewhere)
          Johann Sebastian Bach. Johannes-Passion [St John Passion] 1724,
          Part 2, Aria (Alto); the final sentence is one of Jesus's "last words" on the cross
          [vollbracht literally means "brought full" - "brought
          to fulfillment"]

---

Boy: Mom, can I have a dollar? I've been good all week.
Mom: A whole dollar, just for being good? Why can't you be good
    for nothing, like your father?
     --[unknown]
          AARP Bulletin, July-August 2016, p.46
          a very old joke, repeated often over the years

---

Fall in love not in line.
     --[unknown]
          graffiti (in English) on construction scaffolding in Ljubljana, Slovenia
          photographed by Bob/Ljubljana 0253, 18 November 2011, Flickr.com/

---

Hoping to fashion a mirror, the lover doth polish the
face of his beloved until he produces a skull.
     --John Updike (1932-2009)

---

Life is like an overlong drama through which we sit being nagged by the
vague memories of having read the reviews.
     --John Updike (1932-2009)

---

Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
purely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the
old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth.
     --Harold Urey [Dr Harold Clayton Urey](1893-1981)
          often quoted, unsourced

---

There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to
do great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active
way.
     --Harold Urey [Dr Harold Clayton Urey](1893-1981)
          often quoted, unsourced

---

To think differently means to think in different categories.
variant: Think in other categories.
     --Pyotr Demianovich Uspenskii [P.D. Ouspensky] (1878-1947)
          The Fourth Way. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1957, Chapter II

---

In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth . . . which beginning of time
. . . fell upon . . . the night preceding the twenty third day of October
in . . . the year before Christ 4004.
     --James Ussher [James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh, Church of Ireland](1581-1656)
          Annales Veteris Testamenti [Annals of the Old Testament], 1650
          other scholars and theologians have disagreed: Jose ben Halafta (3761 BC),
          The Venerable Bede (3952 BC), Ussher's near-contemporary Scaliger (3949 BC),
          Johannes Kepler (3992 BC), Sir Isaac Newton (c.4000 BCE), and most modern
          scientists (other than creationists) (c.4,540,000,000 BCE [give or take
          half a million years], or 4.54 x 10⁹ ±1% years ago).

---

It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.
     --Peter Ustinov [Sir Peter Alexander Ustinov, CBE](1921-2004)

---

Love is being stupid together.
     --Paul Valéry (1871-1945)

---

Nowadays the future isn't what it used to be.
    variants: The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
     --Paul Valéry (1871-1945)
        sometimes attributed to Yogi Berra (1925-2015) or
        Arthur C. Clarke (1917-2008)

---

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
     --Paul Valery (1871-1945)

---

Serious people have few ideas. People with ideas are never serious.
    variant: Serious-minded people have few ideas. People with ideas
    are never serious.
     --Paul Valéry [Ambroise-Paul-Toussaint-Jules Valéry](1871-1945)
          Mauvaises pensées et autres Paris; Gallimard, 1942

---

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be
millionaires.
     --Abigail Van Buren [Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips/Dear Abby](born 1918)

---

The difference between theory and practice is a lot bigger in practice than
in theory.
     --Peter Van Der Linden (born mid-XXth century)

---

A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done
for the first time.
     --Frank Vanderlip (1864-1937)
        variant attributed to Alfred E. Wiggam (1871-1957):
        A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the
        first time.

---

Less is more.
    parody: Less is a bore.
     --Ludwig Mies van der Rohe [Maria Ludwig Michael Mies](1886-1969)
          a motto universally associated with Mies, who stated that he first heard it
          from his mentor Peter Behrens (1868-1940) during an association with that
          architect that began in 1908 (academic-master.com/what-did-mies-van-der-rohe-mean-by-less-
          the parody was coined by architect Robert Venturi [Robert Charles
          Venturi Jr](born 1925) and elaborated in his Complexity and Contradiction
          in Architecture. New York: Museum of Modern Art, 1966
          "Less is more", and Mies van der Rohe, are generally associated
          with modernism, while "Less is a bore", and Venturi, denote
          post-modernism. (What's next?)

---

Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

---

Four things a man must learn to do
If he would make his record true:
To think without confusion clearly;
To love his fellow-men sincerely;
To act from honest motives purely;
To trust in God and Heaven securely.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)
          used in the YMCA Brown Rag study guide

---

I sing the praise of the Unknown Teacher . . . who delivers and guides
the young. . . . He strives to conquer the evil powers which are the
enemies of youth. He awakens sleeping spirits. He quickens and
communicates his own joy in learning and shares with boys and girls the
best treasures of his mind. He lights many candles which, in later
years, will shine back to cheer him. This is his reward.


Knowledge may be gained from books; but the love of knowledge is
transmitted only by personal contact. No one has deserved better of the
republic than the unknown teacher.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)
          Phi Beta Kappa address delivered at the College of William and Mary,
          Saturday, 27 November 1926; reprinted in Journal of Chemical Education,
          7(2), February 1930, p.348

---

Individuality is the salt of common life. You may have to live
in a crowd, but you do not have to live like it, nor subsist
on its food.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

---

Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

---

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds
sang there except those that sang best.
     --Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

---

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the
slave of your model.
     --Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)

---

Children are like sponges; they absorb all your strength and leave you
limp. . . . But give them a squeeze and you get it all back.
     --Ann Van Tassells
            similar quotes: Children are like sponges. Enrich the world around
                them and they will learn.
                    --Ann Campbell, school principal, quoted in Richard Dower. "Like
                        lighting a fire", Gleaner, July 2005, p.7
            also: Robert Fulghum, who wrote "All I Really Need to Know I
                learned in Kindergarten," says that is the gospel truth -- that
                children are like sponges, you dont tell them they cant do something or
                they won't try anything new.
                    --John C. Hughes, in an interview with Washington (State) First Lady
                        (from 1965-1977) Nancy Evans, "She Did it All".
                        www.sos.wa.gov/legacyproject/oralhistories/nancyevans/pdf/complete.pdf
                        c.2010 (retrieved 11 October 2012), p.25

---

For certain people after 50, litigation lakes the place of sex.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)

---

I don't like the size of them; the scale is all wrong. The heads tend
to be too big for the bodies and the hands and feet are a disaster
and they keep falling into things . . . they should be neither seen
nor heard. And no one must make another one.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)

---

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)

---

I was asked if my first sexual experience was homosexual or heterosexual.
I said I was too polite to ask.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)
          Sunday Times Magazine, 16 September 1973

---

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)

---

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.
     --Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)

---

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
     --Pancho Villa (1877-1923)
        last words

---

I pulled her into my arms, finally understanding that all the while I'd
struggled to keep her free of my prison of fear, she was locked in the
next cell.
     --Joan D. Vinge (born 1948)
          Dreamfall. New York: Tor Books, 2004, spoken by Cat

---

The last square peg of compromise had been driven into a round hole of
necessity.
     --Joan D. Vinge (born 1948)
          Dreamfall. New York: Tor Books, 2004, spoken by Cat

---

Rosenblum: What are you doing here?
Cat: Penance.
     --Joan D. Vinge (born 1948)
          Dreamfall. New York: Tor Books, 2004

---

It was not called the Net of a Million Lies for nothing.
     --Vernor Vinge [Vernor Steffen Vinge](born 1944)

---

NUNC SCIO QUID SIT AMOR
[At last I know what love is really like.]
     --Virgil [Publius Vergilius Maro](70-19 BCE)
          Eclogues IV:43

---

TU NE CEDE MALIS SED CONTRA AUDIENTIOR ITO
[Do not wither in the face of adversity; rather, advance the more boldly against it]
     --Virgil [Publius Vergilius Maro](70-19 BCE)
          Aeneid

---

The purpose of the present course is the deepening and development of
difficulties underlying contemporary theory . . .
     --A.A. Vlasov [Anatoly Alexandrovich Vlasov](1908-1975)

---

Animals have a great advantage over human beings: they never hear the
clock strike, however intelligent they may be: they die without having
any notion of death: they have no theologians to instruct them on the
Four Ends of animals: their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome
and often objectionable ceremonies: it costs them nothing to be buried:
no one goes to law over their wills.
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Letter to the Comte de Schomberg, 31 August 1769, English translation in
          S.G. Tallentyre (pseudonym of Evelyn Beatrice Hall). Voltaire in His
          Letters. New York and London: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1919, pp.223-224

---

C'est une des superstitions de l'esprit humain d'avoir imaginé que
la virginité pouvait être une vertu.
[It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
virginity could be a virtue.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Notebooks, c.1735-c.1750

---

Certainement qui est en droit de vous rendre absurde est en droit de
vous rendre injuste.
[Truly, whoever is able to make you absurd is able to make you unjust.
variant: Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you
    commit atrocities]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Questions sur les miracles [Questions About Miracles], 1765

---

Il est bien malaisé . . . dôter à des insensés des
chaînes quils révèrent.
[It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Le dîner du comte de Boulainvilliers [The Dinner of Count de
          Boulainvilliers], 1767, Troisième Entretien [Third interview]

---

Il est défendu de tuer; tout meurtrier est puni, à moins qu'il n'ait
tué en grande compagnie, et au son des trompettes.
[It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they
kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Droit" ["Right(s)"], Questions sur l'Encyclopédie, par des Amateurs
          [Questions on the Encyclopedia, by Amateurs], Quatriéme Partie [Volume Four], 1771

---

Il est dangereux d'avoir raison dans des choses où des hommes
accrédités ont tort.
[It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.
variant: It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Le Siècle de Louis XIV [The Age of Louis XIV], 1752

---

J'ai toujours fait une prière à Dieu, qui est fort courte.
La voici: 'Mon Dieu, rendez nos ennemis bien ridicules!' Dieu m'a exaucé.
[I always made one prayer to God, a very short one. Here it is: 'O Lord,
make our enemies quite ridiculous!' God granted it.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville, 16 May 1767

---

Le doute n'est pas un état bien agréable, mais l'assurance est
un état ridicule.
[Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Letter to Frederick William, Prince of Prussia, 28 November 1770; English
          translation in S.G. Tallentyre, Editor. Voltaire in His Letters.
          New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1919, p.232

---

Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien. [The best is the enemy of the good.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Art dramatique" ["Dramatic Art"], in Dictionnaire
          philosophique portatif, 1764

---

Le superflu, chose trés nécessaire.
[The superfluous is very necessary.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Le Mondain", 1736, line 22

---

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
        widely attributed, unsourced

---

On dit quelquefois: 'Le sens commun est fort rare.'
[People sometimes say: 'Common sense is quite rare.'
variant: Common sense is not so common]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Sens commun" ["Common Sense"], Dictionnaire
          philosophique portatif, 1764
          the variant noted above often is attributed to the "Amour Propre"
          ["Self-Esteem"] entry in the Dictionnaire philosophique portatif,
          but is not found there

---

Once a philosopher, twice a pervert.
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
        his respose when declining an invitation from a group of Parisians who,
        after he had attended an orgy, invited him to attend a second time,
        as quoted in Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard (Editors). Bartlett's
        Book of Anecdotes, Revised Edition. Boston: Little, Brown and Company,
        1985/2000, p.556

---

Qu'est-ce que la tolérance? C'est l'apanage de l'humanité.
Nous sommes tous pétris de faiblesse et d'erreurs; pardonnons-nous
réciproquement nos sottises, c'est la première loi de la
nature. . . . Il est clair que tout particulier qui persécute un
homme, son frère, parce qu'il n'est pas de son opinion, est un
monstre . . . Nous devons nous tolérer mutuellement parce que nous
sommes tous faibles, inconséquents, sujets à la mutabilité,
à l'erreur.
[What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all
formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's
folly, that is the first law of nature. . . . It is clear that every
individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because he does not share his
opinion, is a monster. . . . We must tolerate each other, for we are all
feeble, inconsistent, subject to change and error.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Tolérance", in Dictionnaire philosophique portatif,
          1764

---

Qui sert bien son pays n'a pas besoin d'aeux.
[Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors.
variant: Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Mérope, 1743, Act I, Scene III. Borrowed from Lefranc de
          Pompignan's Didon, 1734.

---

Quoi que vous fassiez, écrasez l'infâme, et aimez qui vous aime.
[Whatever you do, crush the infamous one, and love those who love you.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
        Voltaire's famous pronouncement, "Écrasez l'infâme!"
        ["Crush the infamous thing"] did not mention the church, but
        most readers believe that's what he was referring to, since in XVIII
        century France, "religion was associated with backwardness and
        ignorance, superstition and poverty" (Cardinal Cathal B. Daly,
        "The minding of planet Earth", catholicireland.net/,
        2 September 2012)
            related idea: Tout homme sensé, tout homme de bien, doit avoir
                la secte chrétienne en horreur.
                [Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian
                sect in horror.]
                    --Examen important de milord Bolingbroke, 1736, Conclusion

---

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer.
[If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Épîtres [Letters] No.96, "A l'Auteur du Livre
          des Trois Imposteurs" ["To the author of The Book of the Three
          Impostors"], 10 November 1770

---

Si Dieu nous a faits à son image, nous le lui avons bien rendu.
[If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Notebooks, c.1735-c.1750

---

Un ministre est excusable du mal qu'il fait, lorsque le gouvernail de
lÉtat est forcé dans sa main par les tempêtes; mais
dans le calme il est coupable de tout le bien qu'il ne fait pas.
[A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm
of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is
guilty of all the good he does not do.
variant (unsourced): Every man is guilty of all the good he
    did not do.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Le Siècle de Louis XIV [The Age of Louis XIV], Chapter VI:
          "État de la France jusquà la mort du cardinal Mazarin en 1661"
          ["The state of France until the death of Cardinal Mazarin in 1661"], 1752

---

Y a-t-il rien de plus respectable qu'un ancien abus?
[What is more respectable than an ancient abuse?
variant: There is nothing more respectable than an ancient evil.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          Zadig, ou la Destinée [Zadig, or the Book of Fate],
          1747, Chapter XI, spoken by Setoc, to Zadig

---

[La bibliothèque] est une des plus nobles institutions. Il n'y a
point eu de dépense plus magnifique et plus utile.
[(The Library) is one of the most noble institutions. No expense is more
magnificent and more useful.]
     --François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
          "Bibliothèque", Dictionnaire philosophique portatif, 1764

---

Crash programs fail because they are based on theory that, with
nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
     --Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

---

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
     --Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

---

1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent
was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were
already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492.
That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat
and rob and kill them.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Breakfast of Champions. New York: Delacorte, 1973

---

All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Timequake. New York: Putnam Publishing Group, 1997

---

Artists use frauds to make human beings seem more wonderful than they
really are. Dancers show us human beings who move much more gracefully
than human beings really move. Films and books and plays show us people
talking much more entertainingly than people really talk, make paltry
human enterprises seem important. Singers and musicians show us human
beings making sounds far more lovely than human beings really make.
Architects give us temples in which something marvelous is obviously
going on. Actually, practically nothing is going on.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons. New York: Delacorte Press, 1974

---

The arts put man of the center of the universe, whether he belongs there
or not. Military science, on the other hand, treats man as garbage --
and his children, and his cities, too. Military science is probably
right about the contemptibility of man in the vastness of the universe.
Still -- I deny that contemptibility, and I beg you to deny it,
through the creation of appreciation of art.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Bennington College Address, 1970

---

Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

Bergeron's epitaph for the planet [Earth] . . .:
WE COULD HAVE SAVED IT
BUT WE WERE TOO DOGGONE CHEAP . . . Only he didn't say 'doggone.'
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Hocus Pocus. New York: Putnam Publishing Group, 1990

---

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it,
and finds himself no wiser than before", Bokonon tells us.
He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant
without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Cat's Cradle. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1963

---

Doesn't anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public
schools, or health insurance for all?
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          A Man Without a Country: A Memoir of Life in George W. Bush's America.
          New York: Seven Stories Press, 2005

---

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention
the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that
the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of
course that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of
them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted
anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom2
"Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          A Man Without a Country: A Memoir of Life in George W. Bush's America.
          New York: Seven Stories Press, 2005

---

Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want.
They want a whole lot of people to talk to. . . . What do men want?
They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so
mad at them.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          God Bless You, Dr Kevorkian. New York: Seven Stories Press, 1999

---

Hello, farewell.
Hello, farewell.
Eternally connected,
Eternally embracing.
Hello, farewell.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
        Tralfamadorian greeting from Slaughterhouse-Five, 1972 film

---

I have become an enthusiast for the printed word again. I have to be
that, I now understand, because I want to be a character in all of my
works. I can do that in print. In a movie, somehow, the author always
vanishes. Everything of mine which has been filmed so far has been one
character short, and that character is me.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Between Time and Timbuktu, 1972 TV film, Preface

---

I sometimes wondered what the use of any of the arts was. The best
thing I could come up with was what I call the canary in the coal
mine theory of the arts. This theory says that artists are useful
to society because they are so sensitive. They are super-sensitive.
They keel over like canaries in poison coal mines long before more
robust types realize that there is any danger whatsoever.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          "Physicist, Purge Thyself" in the Chicago Tribune Magazine,
          22 June 1969

---

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over.
Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from
the center.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Player Piano. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1952, Chapter 9

---

I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          The Sirens of Titan. New York: Delacorte, 1959

---

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          quoted in "Vonnegut's Blues For America",
          Sunday Herald, 7 January 2006

---

If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a
kingdom of the blind.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Player Piano. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1952

---

If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have nerve enough
to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          A Man Without a Country: A Memoir of Life in George W. Bush's America.
          New York: Seven Stories Press, 2005

---

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          "Hypocrites You Always Have With You", The Nation, 19 April 1980, p.469,
          aka "Palm Sunday", a sermon delivered at St Clement's Church, New York City

---

Let us devote to unselfishness the frenzy we once gave gold and underpants.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Breakfast of Champions. New York: Delacorte, 1973

---

Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just
persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
sense from things she found in gift shops.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance With Death.
          New York: Delacorte, 1969

---

Maybe God has let everybody who ever lived be reborn -- so he or she
can see how it ends. Even Pithecanthropus erectus and Australopithecus
and Sinanthropus pekensis and the Neanderthalers are back on Earth -- to
see how it ends. They're all on Times Square -- making change for
peepshows. Or recruiting Marines.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Happy Birthday, Wanda June, play (first produced 7 October 1970) and
          film (1971), spoken by Dr Norbert Woodley (George Grizzard in the film version)

---

The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when
a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive
in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral.
All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always
will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments
just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for
instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can
look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have
here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a
string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance With Death.
          New York: Delacorte, 1969, written in a letter by Billy Pilgrim

---

No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat's cradle is nothing but a bunch
of X's between somebody's hands, and little kids look and look and
look at all those X's . . . And? No damn cat, and no damn cradle.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Cat's Cradle. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1963

---

[On telling his wife he's going out to buy an envelope:] Oh, she says well,
you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred
envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her.
And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good
time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And,
see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them
the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I
don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart
around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And,
what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're
dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not
supposed to dance at all anymore.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Interview by David Brancaccio, NOW (PBS), 7 October 2005

---

ON WRITING;
1. Find a subject you care about
2. Do not ramble, though.
3. Keep it simple.
4. Have the guts to cut.
5. Sound like yourself.
6. Say what you mean to say.
7. Pity the readers.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          quoted in The Observer [London], 27 December 1987

---

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on
television, you will not have died in vain.You will have entertained us.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          A Man Without a Country: A Memoir of Life in George W. Bush's America.
          New York: Seven Stories Press, 2005

---

Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and
paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like
pigs. That would surely be more appropriate than noble oratory and
shows of flags and well-oiled guns.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Cat's Cradle. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1963

---

There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, but no good reason ever to
hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with
you, too.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Mother Night. New York: Fawcett, 1961

---

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

Tiger got to hunt, Bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder why,
why, why? Tiger got to sleep, Bird got to land; Man got to tell
himself he understand.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Cat's Cradle. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1963

---

To be is to do. --Socrates
To do is to be. --Jean-Paul Sartre
Do be do be do. --Frank Sinatra
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Deadeye Dick. New York: Delacorte Press, 1982, p.253
          This joke almost certainly predates Vonnegut's usage, and is found
          in many variations and elaborations, such as:
              To do is to be. --Socrates
              To be or not to be. --Shakespeare
              To be is to do. --Sartre
              Dooby dooby doo. --Sinatra
              Yabba dabba doo. --Flintstone
              Scoob-dooby-doo. --Scooby Doo
              Hey Boo-boo. --Yogi Bear
                  (and so forth . . .)

---

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school
class is running the country.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.
The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary
parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons. New York: Delacorte Press, 1974

---

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful
about what we pretend to be.
    (Sometimes [mis]quoted as: Be careful what you pretend
    to be, because you are what you pretend to be.)
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Mother Night. New York: Delacorte Press/Seymour Lawrence [Random
          House], 1961/1966, Introduction, p.v

---

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings
on the way down.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

What is the purpose of life? . . . To be the eyes, and ears, and
conscience of the creator of the universe, you fools.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Breakfast of Champions. New York: Delacorte, 1973

---

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in
his mouth.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          quoted in "Kurt Vonnegut: In His Own Words"
          (London) Times Online, 12 April 2007

---

When the truth of your life is too terrible,
that truth becomes your enemy.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
        Between Time and Timbuktu, 1972 TV film

---

The world is just a collection of moments, all strung together in
beautiful random order. And if we're going to survive, we have to
concentrate on the good moments, and ignore the bad.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
        Slaughterhouse-Five, 1972 film, spoken by Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks)

---

You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
     --Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
          Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons. New York: Delacorte Press, 1974,
          in a reprint therein of an interview in Playboy from July 1973

---

We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.
     --Mark Vonnegut (born 1947)
          quoted by his father, Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007) in
          Timequake. New York: Putnam Publishing Group, 1997, Chapter 20, p.78

---

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits
is, of course, in a state of sin.
     --John von Neumann [János Neumann](1903-1957)

---

Love does not need proving among sane and independent people.
     --Lois W. [Lois Wilson](1891-1988)

---

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually
has a son who thinks he's wrong.
     --Charles Wadsworth (1814-1882)

---

Win if you can, lose if you must,
but always cheat.
     --George Raymond Wagner [Gorgeous George](1915-1963)

---

All my life I said I wanted to be someone . . . I can see now that
I should have been more specific.
     --Jane Wagner (born 1935)
          The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe.
          New York: Harper & Row, 1986 (one-woman show, opened at the Plymouth
          Theatre, New York City, 26 September 1985, starring Lily Tomlin)

---

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times
over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.
     --Jane Wagner (born 1935)
          The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe.
          New York: Harper & Row, 1986 (one-woman show, opened at the Plymouth
          Theatre, New York City, 26 September 1985, starring Lily Tomlin)
          spoken by Tomlin's character, "Chrissy"

---

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
     --Jane Wagner (born 1935)
          The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe.
          New York: Harper & Row, 1986 (one-woman show, opened at the Plymouth
          Theatre, New York City, 26 September 1985, starring Lily Tomlin)

---

I have never been a fan of personality-conflict burgers and identity-crisis
omelets with patchouli oil. I function very well on a diet that consists
of Chicken Catastrophe and Eggs Overwhelming and a tall, cool,
Janitor-in-a-Drum. I like to walk out of a restaurant with enough
gas to open a Mobil station.
     --Tom Waits [Thomas Alan Waits](born 1949)
          quoted in Jon Winokur. Encyclopedia Neurotica. New York: St Martin's
          Press, 2005, p.185

---

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
    variant: A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.
     --George Wald (1906-1997)
          Introduction to Lawrence J. Henderson. The Fitness of the Environment.
          Boston: Beacon Press, 1958, p.xxiv; the variant is often attributed to
          Niels Bohr [Niels Henrik David Bohr](1885-1962), unsourced

---

Let he who is without sin, try to survive.
     --Andrew Kevin Walker (born 1964)
          Seven, 1995 film

---

        3__
      \/3
      /
      |                                    The integral of _t_ squared _dt_,
      |               3π             3_    From one to the cube root of three,
      | t² dt  *  cos(---)   =  ln (\/e)    Times the cosine,
      |                9                    Of three pi over nine,
      |                                    Equals log of the cube root of _e_.
      /
    1
  

     --Doug Walker
        SAS Institute (verified by the author)
        

---

I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless.
     --Dr Peter Walker [Peter Wykoff Walker II](born mid-XXth century)
        Rice University physicist

---

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when
it's necessary to compromise.
     --Larry Wall (born 1954)
          Usenet article <1991Nov13.194420.28091@netlabs.com> (1991)

---

I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've
seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head.
     --George Wallace [George Corley Wallace Jr](1919-1998)
        45th Governor of Alabama (1963-1967, 1971-1979 and 1983-1987)
          attributed to Wallace, unsourced

---

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say
you've got a pretty neck.
     --Eli Wallach (born 1915)

---

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
     --Karl Wallenda (1905-1978)

---

In a study of schoolboys, an educator discovered a correlation between
size of feet and quality of handwriting. The boys with the larger feet
were, on the average, older.
     --W. Allen Wallis (1912-1998)
          and Harry V. Roberts (1923-2004), The Nature of Statistics.
          New York: Collier, 1962

---

This world is a comedy to those that think,
a tragedy to those that feel.
     --Horace Walpole [Horatio Walpole, 4th Earl of Orford](1717-1797)
          Letter to the Countess of Upper Ossory, 16 August 1776

---

I Would Be True


I would be true, for there are those who trust me.
I would be pure, for there are those who care.
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer.
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.


I would be friend of all, the foe, the friendless.
I would be giving, and forget the gift.
I would be humble, for I know my weakness.
I would look up, and laugh, and love, and lift.
     --Howard A. Walter [Howard Arnold Walter](1883-1918)
          1906, set to music by Joseph Y. Peek in 1911
          the text and/or the song is used in the YMCA Rag ceremony

---

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
     --William H. Walton
          quoted in Quotable Quotes: Wit & Wisdom for Every Occasion.
          New York: The Reader's Digest Association, 1997

---

Bad taste makes the day go by faster.
     --Andy Warhol (1928-1987)

---

I am a deeply superficial person.
     --Andy Warhol (1928-1987)

---

In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
     --Andy Warhol (1928-1987)
          Pat Hackett (Editor). The Andy Warhol Diaries. New York: Warner
          Books, 1989, diary entry for 27 July 1978

---

Two people kissing look like fish.
     --Andy Warhol (1928-1987)

---

Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
     --H.M. Warner (1881-1958)
        1927, on the advent of "talking pictures"

---

Don't pay attention to bad reviews. Today's newspaper is tomorrow's
toilet paper.
     --Jack Warner (1892-1978)

---

Some people think of their body as a temple.
I like to think of mine as an amusement park.
     --Adam Warren (born 1967)
          possibly in the manga "Dirty Pair" or sequels, 1988-2002
          spoken by Kei

---

Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of
immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before.
     --Edith Warton [Edith Newbold Jones Wharton](1862-1937)

---

The cross everywhere is a dagger in the heart of liberty.
     --Lemuel K. Washburn [Lemuel Kelley Washburn](1846-c.1926)
          "The Bible and the Child", in Is the Bible Worth Reading?,
          and Other Essays. New York: The Truth Seeker Company, 1911

---

Most men would kill the truth if truth would kill their religion.
     --Lemuel K. Washburn [Lemuel Kelley Washburn](1846-c.1926)
          Is the Bible Worth Reading?, and Other Essays.
          New York: The Truth Seeker Company, 1911

---

The original sin was not in eating of the forbidden fruit, but in
planting the tree that bore the fruit.
     --Lemuel K. Washburn [Lemuel Kelley Washburn](1846-c.1926)
          Is the Bible Worth Reading?, and Other Essays.
          New York: The Truth Seeker Company, 1911

---

Priests will pardon thieves but not philosophers.
     --Lemuel K. Washburn [Lemuel Kelley Washburn](1846-c.1926)
          Is the Bible Worth Reading?, and Other Essays.
          New York: The Truth Seeker Company, 1911

---

I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.
     --Booker T. Washington (1856-1915)

---

Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force!
Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
     --George Washington (1732-1799)
        First president of the United States of America

---

The government of the United States is in no sense
founded on the Christian religion.
     --George Washington (1732-1799)
        First president of the United States of America
          Treaty of Tripoli, 1797, Article XI

---

Making a Man


Hurry the baby as fast as you can,
Hurry him, worry him, make him a man.
Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,
Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.
Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,
Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.
Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,
Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.
Once boys grew up at a rational rate,
Now we develop a man while you wait,
Rush him through college, compel him to grab
Of every known subject a dip and a dab.
Get him in business and after the cash,
All by the time he can grow a mustache.
Let him forget he was ever a boy,
Make gold his god and its jingle his joy.
Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,
Until he wins -- nervous prostration and death.
     --Nixon Waterman (1859-1944)

---

"Family" this and "family" that. If I had a family
I'd be furious that moral busybodies are taking the perfectly good word
family and using it as a code for censorship the same way
"states' rights" was used to disguise racism in the mid-sixties.
     --John Waters [John Samuel Waters Jr](born 1946)

---

'Cause there's no wind left in my soul and I've grown old.
     --Roger Waters [George Roger Waters](born 1943)
          "Wots . . . Uh, the Deal",
          song from the Pink Floyd album, Obscured by Clouds, 1972

---

You better stay home
And do as you're told.
Get out of the road if you want to grow old.
     --Roger Waters [George Roger Waters](born 1943)
        "Sheep", from Animals, 1977 Pink Floyd album

---

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
     --Thomas Watson (1874-1956)
        Chairman of IBM, 1943

---

Another casualty of applied metaphysics.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Hobbes

---

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Aww Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungie cord.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being
dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?
Hobbes:I'm not sure man needs the help.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip

---

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Do you think God lets you plea bargain?
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Hey Dad, remember our car?
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

If you hadn't screwed up my past, your future wouldn't be like this.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          Calvin and Hobbes, syndicated newspaper comic strip
          as Calvin (8:30) to Calvin (6:30)

---

It's not denial. I'm just very selective of the reality I accept.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists
elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Verbing weirds language.
     --Bill Watterson (born 1958)
          "Calvin and Hobbes", syndicated newspaper comic strip
          spoken by Calvin

---

Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures
chronic depression.
     --Faye Wattleton (born 1943)

---

I have realised that the past and future are real illusions, that
they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.
     --Alan Watts [Alan Wilson Watts](1915-1973)

---

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they
exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.
     --Alan Watts [Alan Wilson Watts](1915-1973)

---

Burnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
     --Ken Weaver (born 1956)
          unsourced

---

The bureaucratic class is usually characterized by a profound disesteem
of all irrational religion, combined, however, with the recognition of the
usefulness of this type of religion as a device for controlling the people.
    variant: A bureaucracy is usually characterized by the thorough
        contempt of all irrational religion, combined, however, with the
        recognition of its usefulness as a means of the domestication of the
        governed.
     --Max Weber [Karl Emil Maximilian Weber Jr](1864-1920)
          "Religionssoziologie" ["Soociology of Religion"], in
          Wirtschaft und Gesellschaft [Economy and Society].
          Tübingen: Mohr, 1922; English translation by Ephraim Fischoff, in
          Max Weber. The Sociology of Religion, Fourth Edition.
          Boston: Beacon Press, 1963/1991, p.89

---

Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
     --Daniel Webster (1782-1852)
          widely attributed to Webster, unsourced

---

If we work upon marble it will perish.
If we work upon brass time will efface it.
If we rear temples they will crumble to dust.
But if we work upon men's immortal minds,
      if we imbue them with high principles,
      with the just fear of God and
      love of their fellow-men,
we engrave on those tablets something which no time can efface,
and which will brighten and brighten to all eternity.
     --Daniel Webster (1782-1852)
        speech to the City Council, Boston, Massachusetts, May 22, 1852
        The Writings and Speeches of Daniel Webster, vol. 13, pp. 518-19 (1903).

---

Keep cool. Anger is not an argument.
     --Daniel Webster (1782-1852)

---

Once I had a secret love
That lived within the heart of me
All too soon my secret love
Became impatient to be free


So I told a friendly star
The way that dreamers often do
Just how wonderful you are
And why I am so in love with you


Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils


At last my heart's an open door
And my secret love's no secret any more.
     --Paul Francis Webster (1907-1984)
        lyrics, Sammy Fain [Samuel Feinberg](1902-1989), music
          "Secret Love" (song), from Calamity Jane, 1953 film

---

Behind all the political rhetoric being hurled at us from abroad, we are
bringing home one unassailable fact -- [terrorism is] a crime by any
civilized standard, committed against innocent people, away from the scene
of political conflict, and must be dealt with as a crime. . . .
In our recognition of the nature of terrorism as a crime lies our best
hope of dealing with it. . . . Let us use the tools that we have. Let us
invoke the cooperation we have the right to expect around the world, and
with that cooperation let us shrink the dark and dank areas of sanctuary
until these cowardly marauders are held to answer as criminals in an open
and public trial for the crimes they have committed, and receive the
punishment they so richly deserve.
     --William H. Webster [William Hedgcock Webster](born 1924)
        Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 15 October 1985
          quoted in Federal Bureau of Investigation Law Enforcement Bulletin.
          United States Department of Justice, 1986

---

. . . She looked at me and the emptiness in her eyes was cruel to see.
Then she turned away and said, 'Once I loved, but love is dead.'
And I whispered, 'Sometimes love is only sleeping' . . .
     --Cynthia Weil (born 1940)
          "Love is Only Sleeping", 1967 song
          from the Monkees album Monkee Flips, released 1984

---

Arguing with a person's faith is like chasing them around a parking lot.
You can keep backing them up and backing them up, but you'll never actually
corner them.
     --George M. Weilacher (fl. XXth century)

---

If carpenters built houses the way programmers build programs,
the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
    variant: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote
        programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy
        civilization.
     --Gerald M. Weinberg (born 1933)
          attributed in Harold F. Tipton and Micki Krause, Editors. Information
          Security Management Handbook, Fifth Edition. Boca Raton FL: Auerbach,
          2005, p.1123

---

The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.
     --Gerald M. Weinberg [Gerald Marvin Weinberg](born 1933)
          The Psychology of Computer Programming.
          New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold Co., 1971

---

It has seeped into our consciousness that complaining about life's
circumstances is the normal discourse. This is an extension of everyone
getting in touch with their feelings. Everyone is entitled to, but just
don't tell everyone about it. Just get in touch with your feelings quietly, please.
     --Anthony D. Weiner (born 1964)
        Brooklyn city councilman

---

If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete.
     --Jack Welch [John Francis Welch Jr](born 1935)

---

If you worry about your customers you won't have to worry about money.
     --Les Welch
          Bicycle USA, March/April 1990

---

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people.
     --Orson Welles (1915-1985)

---

The forceps of our minds are clumsy things and crush the truth a
little in the course of taking hold of it.
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)

---

Go away. I'm alright.
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)
        last words

---

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men
should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal
weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently
imagine we own.
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)

---

Life is two things, that's how I see it . . . Life is morality -- Life is
adventure. . . . Morality tells you what is right, and adventure moves
you. If morality means anything it means keeping bounds, respecting
implications, respecting implicit bounds. If individuality means anything
it means breaking bounds -- adventure. Will you be moral and your species,
or immoral and yourself?
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)
          Ann Veronica. London: T. Fisher Unwin, 1909, Chapter the Sixteenth,
          Part 2, spoken by Mr Capes

---

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)

---

A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted
international dissension will be . . . surer of the noose than a private
homicide.
     --H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)

---

He's about as much use as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking party.
     --John Wells (1936-1998)
          The Secret Policeman's Other Ball, Amnesty International Benefit, 1981

---

Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature.
    variants: There are no bugs, only unrecognized features.
        A feature is a bug with seniority
     --T. John Wendel (born 1954)

---

He who hesitates is a damned fool.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)
          Las Vegas review that opened 27 July 1954 at the Congo Room
          quoted in Marybeth Hamilton. When I'm Bad, I'm Better: Mae West,
          Sex, and American Entertainment. New York: HarperCollins Publishers,
          1996, p.239

---

I see myself as a classic. I never loved another person the way I loved
myself. I've had an easy life and no guilts about it. I'm in a class by
myself. I have no regrets. . . . A reporter asked me recently what I
wanted to be remembered for, and I told him, "Everything". That
about sums it up.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)
          Interview by Robert Jennings in Playboy, January 1971

---

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

To err is human, but it feels divine.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)
          The Wit and Wisdom of Mae West. Joseph Weintraub (Editor).
          New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1967

---

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before.
    variant: Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never
    tried before.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

You're never too old to become younger.
     --Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)

---

He clowned continuously. It was his sole method of defense. Most people,
he had discovered, won't go out of their way to punish a clown.
     --Nathanael West (1903-1940)
          The Day of the Locust. New York: Random House, 1939
          describing Faye's father, Harry Greener, after forty years in vaudeville

---

Only madmen and fools are pleased with themselves;
no wise man is good enough for his own satisfaction.
     --Benjamin Whichcote (1609-1683)

---

I simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that
decaying mass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to
medieval conceptions of Christianity, and which still lingers among us --
a most serious barrier to religion and morals, and a menace to the whole
normal evolution of society.
     --Andrew D. White [Andrew Dickson White](1832-1918)
        first president of Cornell University, 1896
          History of the Warfare of Science with Theology in Christendom,
          Volume I. New York: D. Appleton and Company, 1896, Introduction, pp.v-vi

---

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
     --Bryan White (born 1974)
          Reader's Digest, 1999

---

Do not try to save the world by loving thy neighbor; it will only make him
nervous. Save the world by respecting thy neighbor's rights under law and
insisting that he respect yours.
     --E.B. White [Elwyn Brooks White](1899-1985)

---

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely
challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn
between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.
This makes it hard to plan the day.
     --E.B. White [Elwyn Brooks White](1899-1985)
          quoted in Israel Shenker. "E.B. White: Notes and Comment by
          Author". The New York Times, 11 July 1969

---

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
     --Phil White

---

It has been my hideous fate to be born with an infinite capacity for love
and joy with no hope of using them.
     --T.H. White [Terence Hanbury White](1906-1964)

---

I do not fear tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today.
     --William Allen White (1868-1944)

---

Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations
which we can perform without thinking about them.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          An Introduction to Mathematics. New York: Henry Holt and Company,
          1911, p.61

---

Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them.
    more complete version: The vitality of thought is in adventure.
        Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them. When the idea is
        new, its custodians have fervor, live for it, and if need be, die for it.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          Dialogues of Alfred North Whitehead. Boston: Little, Brown and
          Company, 1954, Chapter 12 (28 April 1938)

---

It is the business of the future to be dangerous; and it is among the
merits of science that it equips the future for its duties. The major
advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies
in which they occur.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          Adventures of Ideas. New York: Macmillan Co., 1933, Chapter 13:
          "Requisites for Social Progress"
          used as the title track and album title by rock group Hawkwind in 1993

---

No period of history has ever been great or ever can be that does not
act on some sort of high, idealistic motives, and idealism in our
time has been shoved aside, and we are paying the penalty for it.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          Alfred North Whitehead, as recorded by Lucien Price. Dialogues of Alfred
          North Whitehead. Boston: David R. Godine, Publisher, 1954/2001, Chapter
          XXXII [13 January 1944], p.272

---

There is now no choice before us. Either we must succeed in providing
a rational coordination of impulses and thoughts, or for centuries
civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
We must produce a great age or see the collapse of the upward
striving of our race.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          Preface to Wallace B. Donham. Business Adrift. New York: Whittlesey
          House/McGraw-Hill, 1931

---

The vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense
that high aims are worth-while. Vigorous societies harbor a certain
extravagance of objectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of
personal gratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal,
the love of a good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such
an accomplishment, the Peace brought by something worth-while.
     --Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
          Adventures of Ideas. New York: Macmillan Co., 1933/New York: The
          Free Press, 1961, p.288

---

Here's to the crazy ones the misfits the rebels the troublemakers the
round pegs in the square holes. The people that are crazy enough to think
they can change the world are the ones who do.
     --Matt Whiteley (born mid-XXth century)
          Jobs, 2013 film, spoken by Steve Jobs (Ashton Kutcher)

---

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "Song of Myself", Stanza 51, Leaves of Grass. Brooklyn NY:
          privately printed, 1855; final ("Deathbed") edition, Philadelphia:
          David McKay, 1891-1892

---

From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself
    of the holds that would hold me.


    [as adapted and set to music by Norman dello Joio (1913-2008)]:
        I ordain myself loosed from imaginary limits.
        From this hour I shall live as my own master,
        Searching, receiving and listening,
        Breaking the bonds that would hold me.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "Song of the Open Road", Leaves of Grass. Brooklyn NY:
          privately printed, 1855; New York: Fowler and Wells, 1856; then many
          subsequent editions

---

He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "Song of Myself", Stanza 47, line 3, Leaves of Grass.
          Brooklyn NY: privately printed, 1855; final ("Deathbed") edition,
          Philadelphia: David McKay, 1891-1892

---

I swear nothing is good to me now that ignores individuals.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "By Blue Ontario's Shore", Stanza 15
          Leaves of Grass. Brooklyn NY: privately printed, 1855;
          final ("Deathbed") edition, Philadelphia: David McKay, 1891-1892

---

In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined
      toward me
And his arm lay lightly around my breast -- and that night I was happy.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "When I Heard at the Close of the Day" Leaves of Grass.
          Brooklyn NY: privately printed, 1855; final ("Deathbed") edition,
          Philadelphia: David McKay, 1891-1892

---

It is to the development, identification, and general prevalence
of that fervid comradeship (the adhesive love, at least rivalling
the amative love hitherto possessing imaginative literature, if
not going beyond it), that I look for the counterbalance and
offset of our materialistic and vulgar American Democracy, and
for the spiritualization thereof. Many will say it is a dream, and
will not follow my inferences; but I confidently expect a time
when there will be seen, running like a half-hid warp through all
the myriad audible and visible worldly interests of America,
threads of manly friendship, fond and loving, pure and sweet,
strong and lifelong, carried to degrees hitherto unknown -- not
only giving tone to individual character, and making it
unprecedently emotional, muscular, heroic, and refined, but having
deepest relations to general politics. I say Democracy infers
such loving comradeship, as its most inevitable twin or
counterpart, without which it will be incomplete, in vain, and
incapable of perpetuating itself.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
        "Democratic Vistas", 1871 pamphlet, published in Democratic
        Vistas, and Other Papers. London: Walter Scott, 1888

---

The Greatest City


A great city is that
which has the greatest men and women.
If it be a few ragged huts,
it is still the greatest city
in the whole world.
     --Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
          "Song of the Broad-Axe", Leaves of Grass. Brooklyn NY:
          privately printed, 1855; final ("Deathbed") edition, Philadelphia:
          David McKay, 1891-1892

---

Fear is not real. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.
     --Gary Whitta (born late-XXth century),
        and M. Night Shyamalan [Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan](born 1970)
        story by Will Smith [Willard Christopher Smith Jr](born 1968)
          After Earth, 2013 film, spoken by Cypher Raige (Will Smith)

---

Did you ever notice how in the Bible . . .whenever God needed a
killing . . . he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature
like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God
but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really
want to see an angel?
     --Gregory Widen
          The Prophecy, 1995 film, spoken by Thomas Daggett (Elias Koteas)

---

Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence
encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
     --Eli Wiesel (born 1928)

---

To sin by silence, when we should protest, makes cowards of men.
    variant: It is a sin to be silent when it is your duty to protest.
     --Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919)
        "Protest", Number 1695 from Poems of Problems.
        Chicago: W.B. Conkey Company, 1914, p.154
        variant often attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), 16th president of
        the United States of America, after a 1950 speech by Douglas MacArthur
        in which MacArthur cited Lincoln as the author

---

The æsthetic value of Shakespeare's plays does not, in the slightest
degree, depend on their facts, but on their Truth, and Truth is
independent of facts always, inventing or selecting them at pleasure.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "Shakespeare and Stage Costume" The Nineteenth Century:
          A Monthly Review. Edited by James Knowles. Volume XVII. January-June
          1885, pp. 800-18. London: Kegan Paul, Trench, & Co.; later revised and
          published as "The Truth of Masks: A Note on Illusion" in Wilde's
          Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co./New York:
          Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891

---

Ah! don't say that you agree with me. When people agree
with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert
              variant: Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must
                  be wrong.
                      --Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman.
                          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892,
                          Act III, spoken by Cecil Graham

---

Ah, well, then I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          quoted in R.L. Sherard [Robert Harborough Sherard](1861-1943).
          Life of Oscar Wilde. London: T.W. Laurie, 1906, p.421
          often quoted as Wilde's last words, but The Oxford Dictionary of
          Quotations (Second Edition, Oxford: Oxford University Press, p.570)
          notes that this was Wilde's reaction when "a huge fee for an
          operation was mentioned"
              variant: I suppose that I am dying as I lived, beyond my means.
              alternate claims of Wilde's last words, according to some:
                  Either the wallpaper goes or I do.
                  Either the drapes go or I do.
                  This wallpaper is atrocious. Either it or I have to go.

---

The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature
perfectly -- that is what each of us is here for.
People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the
highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
          London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 2, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton

---

All great ideas are dangerous.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        attributed widely, unsourced

---

America is the noisiest country that ever existed. One is waked up
in the morning, not by the singing of the nightingale, but by the
steam whistle. It is surprising that the sound practical sense of
the Americans does not reduce this intolerable noise.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.
        New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, "Impressions of America",
        p.252, the published version of a lecture Wilde gave for the first time
        on 24 September 1883 in Wandsworth Town Hall upon his return to England
        from the former Colony

---

And what is fashion? From the artistic point of view, it is usually
a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to
alter it every six months.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Philosophy of Dress", The New York Tribune, 1885

---

Anything approaching to the free play of the mind is practically
unknown amongst us. People cry out against the sinner, yet it is not
the sinful, but the stupid, who are our shame. There is no sin except
stupidity.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.23

---

The art of life is the art of defiance. To defy -- that is what
we ought to live for, instead of living, as we do, to acquiesce.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Sebastian Melmoth. London: Arthur L. Humphreys, 1905, p.126
          a collection of various aphorisms published shortly after Wilde's death,
          some apparently original, others quoted from Wilde's previous works;
          "Sebastian Melmoth" was a nom de plume Wilde used after
          his release from Reading Gaol in 1897

---

Art only begins where Imitation ends.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Bad art is a great deal worse than no art at all.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "House Decoration" (1882), in Essays and Lectures by Oscar
          Wilde. London: Methuen and Co., 1908

---

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          widely attributed, unsourced; the quotation has been used as the
          title of at least two books: Mike Robbins. Be Yourself, Everyone Else is
          Already Taken. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2009; and
          Evelyn Beilenson. Be Yourself -- Everyone Else is Already Taken.
          White Plains NY: Peter Pauper Press, 2011
          (Note the difference in punctuation in the two titles.)

---

Between the famous and the infamous there is but one step, if as much as one.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Cecil Graham: What is a cynic?
Lord Darlington: A man who knows the price of everything and the
value of nothing.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892, Act III

---

Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original
virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through
disobedience and through rebellion.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Soul of Man Under Socialism". Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 49 Number 290, February 1891, pp.292-319 (also: London:
          A.L. Humphreys, 1912); also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies
          for the Use of the Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.24

---

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from
time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

Experience is of no ethical value. It is simply the name men give
to their mistakes.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 2, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.43
              variants: Experience, the name that men give to their mistakes.
                  I never commit any.
                  Oscar Wilde. Vera, or The Nihilists. privately printed, 1880
                  (first produced at Union Square Theatre, New York City, 1882), Act II,
                  spoken by Prince Paul
              Dumby: Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
              Cecil Graham: One shouldn't commit any.
              Dumby: Life would be very dull without them.
                  Oscar Wilde. Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman.
                  first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892, Act III

---

Give children beauty, not the record of bloody slaughters and
barbarous brawls, as they call history, or of the latitude and
longitude of places nobody cares to visit, as they call geography.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          A Lecture in America, c.1882, quoted in Alvin Redman, Editor.
          The Epigrams of Oscar Wilde. London: Alvin Redman/New York: John Day,
          1952, p.159

---

God filled thee with the perfect knowledge of Himself, and thou has given
this knowledge away to others. . . . He who giveth away wisdom robbeth
himself.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Teacher of Wisdom", first published as one of several
          Poems in Prose in Fortnightly Review, July 1894, later
          privately printed, 1905. The words are heard by the Hermit of the story,
          listening to his soul explaining why he is full of sorrow and fear.
          He vows never again to speak of God, until he meets a Robber and, to
          dissuade the Robber from entering the City of the Seven Sins, finally
          gives away his knowledge of God. The Hermit is rewarded by
          "the One", who kisses him, saying, "Before this time thou
          hadst the perfect knowledge of God. Now thou shalt have the perfect
          love of God."
              similar idea: He who knows does not speak. He who speaks
                  does not know. --Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, circa Fifth century BCE)

---

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily.
That is what Fiction means.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Importance of Being Earnest, a Trivial Comedy for Serious People.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 4 February 1895, Act II
          spoken by Miss Prism

---

I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 1, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton

---

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances
for their good characters, and my enemies for their good
intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition. London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 1, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.115

---

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          from a recollection of personal conversation with Wilde, in Edgar Saltus.
          Oscar Wilde: An Idler's Impression. Chicago: Brothers of
          the Book, 1917

---

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something
sensational to read in the train.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Importance of Being Earnest, a Trivial Comedy for Serious People.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 4 February 1895, Act III,
          spoken by Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax

---

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his
ability.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        source could not be verified; sometimes attributed to Flannery O'Connor
        [Mary Flannery O'Connor] (1925-1964), Will Rogers [William Penn Adair
        Rogers](1879-1935), Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910), or
        Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)

---

I was a problem for which there was no solution.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Letter to More Adey, from Villa Giudice, Posillipo,
          27 November 1897 (postmark), in Rupert Hart-Davis, Editor.
          The Letters of Oscar Wilde. London: Rupert Hart-Davis Ltd., 1962
          regarding the scandal, rejection by his family and ultimate ostracism
          from London society during and after his 1895 trial for "gross
          indecency"

---

I would sooner have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Letter to Leonard Smithers, from Posillipo, c.28 November 1897,
          in Rupert Hart-Davis, Editor. The Letters of Oscar Wilde.
          London: Rupert Hart-Davis Ltd., 1962, p.686
              expanded quote: I never came across anyone in whom the moral
                  sense was dominant who was not heartless, cruel, vindictive,
                  log stupid and entirely lacking in the smallest sense of humanity.
                  Moral people, as they are termed, are simple beasts. I would sooner
                  have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue. It is unnatural
                  virtue that makes the world, for those who suffer, such a
                  premature Hell.

---

If one is ashamed of having been punished, one might just as well never
have been punished at all.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

If one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music
people don't talk.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People,
          first performed at St James's Theatre, London, 14 February 1895

---

If we are tempted to make war upon another nation, we shall remember that
we are seeking to destroy an element of our own culture, and possibly
its most important element. As long as war is regarded as wicked. it will
always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will
cease to be popular.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

If you meet at dinner a man who has spent his life in educating
himself . . . you rise from the table richer. . . . But oh! . . .
to sit next to a man who has spent his life in trying to educate
others! What a dreadful experience that is! How appalling is that
ignorance which is the inevitable result of imparting opinions!
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll
kill you.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          quoted, unsourced, in André Gide. Oscar Wilde: Reminiscences.
          New York: Open Road Integrated Media, 1949/2012
          similar quotes attributed to Billy Wilder (1906-2002) and others

---

In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People,
          first performed at St James's Theatre, London, 14 February 1895
          spoken by Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax

---

In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst, the last
is the real tragedy.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman. first produced at
          St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892, Act III, spoken by Dumby
              variant: There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your
                  heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
                      --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). Man and Superman: A Comedy and
                          a Philosophy. Westminster: Archibald Constable & Co./New York:
                          Brentano's, 1903 (first produced at Royal Court Theatre, London,
                          23 May 1905), spoken by Mendoza

---

Individualism does not come to man with any claims upon him at all.
It comes naturally and inevitably out of man. . . .
It does not try to force people to be good. It knows that people
are good when they are left alone.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Soul of Man Under Socialism". Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 49 Number 290, February 1891, pp.292-319 (also: London:
          A.L. Humphreys, 1912)

---

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either
charming or tedious.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892,
          Act I, spoken by Lord Darlington

---

It is only the superficial qualities that last. Man's deeper nature
is soon found out.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.
        New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.144

---

It is sometimes said that the tragedy of an artist's life is that he
cannot realise his ideal. But the true tragedy that dogs the steps of
most artists is that they realise their ideal too absolutely. For, when
the ideal is realised, it is robbed of its wonder and its mystery, and
becomes simply a new starting-point for an ideal that is other than itself.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

"Know thyself" was written over the portico of the antique
world. Over the portal of the new world "Be thyself" shall
be written. And the message of Christ to man was simply
"Be thyself". That is the secret of Jesus.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Soul of Man Under Socialism". Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 49 Number 290, February 1891, pp.292-319

---

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship;
and it is far the best ending for one.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 1, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.34

---

Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life. . . . Literature always
anticipates life. It does not copy it, but moulds it to its purpose.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Decay of Lying: An Observation", in Intentions.
          London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co.,
          1891, spoken by Vivian
              Vivian's expansion of the idea: Art begins with abstract
                  decoration with purely imaginative and pleasurable work dealing with
                  what is unreal and non-existent. This is the first stage. Then Life
                  becomes fascinated with this new wonder, and asks to be admitted into
                  the charmed circle. Art takes life as part of her rough material,
                  recreates it, and refashions it in fresh forms, is absolutely
                  indifferent to fact, invents, imagines, dreams, and keeps between
                  herself and reality the impenetrable barrier of beautiful style, of
                  decorative or ideal treatment. The third stage is when Life gets the
                  upper hand, and drives Art out into the wilderness. That is the true
                  decadence, and it is from this that we are now suffering.

---

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it
is absolutely fatal.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask,
and he will tell you the truth.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

A man whose desire is to be something separate from himself . . . invariably
succeeds in being what he wants to be. That is his punishment. Those who
want a mask have to wear it.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Moderation is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        A Lady of No Importance. first performed at the Haymarket Theatre,
        London, 19 April 1893, spoken by Lord Illingworth

---

Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and
absolutely wrong. We have mistaken the common livery of the age for
the vesture of the Muses, and spend our days in the sordid streets
and hideous suburbs of our vile cities when we should be out on the
hillside with Apollo. Certainly we are a degraded race, and have sold
our birthright for a mess of facts.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Decay of Lying: An Observation", in Intentions.
          London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co.,
          1891, spoken by Vivian

---

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we
personally dislike.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          An Ideal Husband. first produced at Haymarket Theeatre, London,
          3 January 1895, Act II, spoken by Mrs Cheveley
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.145

---

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's
opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to Lord Alfred Douglas written
          while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Mrs Chevely is one of those very modern women of our time who find a new
scandal as becoming as a new bonnet, and air them both every afternoon
in the Park at 5.30. I am sure she adores scandals, and that the sorrow
of her life at present is that she can't manage to have enough of them.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          An Ideal Husband. first produced at Haymarket Theeatre, London,
          3 January 1895, Act II, spoken by Lord Goring

---

Nobody great or small can be ruined except by his own hand.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

None of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 1, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton

---

Nothing is more evident than that Nature Hates Mind. Thinking is the most
unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of
any other disease. Fortunately, in England at any rate, thought is not
catching. Our splendid physique as a people is entirely due to our
national stupidity.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        "The Decay of Lying", in Intentions. London: James R.
        Osgood, McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891,
        spoken by Vivian

---

One should always be a little improbable.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young".
          The Chameleon, Volume 1 Number 1, London: Gay and Bird,
          November 1894, p.2

---

One should never make one's debut with a scandal -- one should
reserve that to give interest to one's old age.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
          London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891

---

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things
it has forbidden to itself.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 2, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.36

---

Ordinary cruelty is simply stupidity. It is the entire want of
imagination. It is the result in our days of stereotyped systems, of
hard-and-fast rules, and of stupidity. Wherever there is centralisation
there is stupidity. What is inhuman in modern life is officialism.
Authority is as destructive to those who exercise it as it is to those
on whom it is exercised.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Case of Warder Martin: Some Cruelties of Prison Life".
          Letter to the Editor of the Daily Chronicle, 28 May 1897,
          reprinted in The Essays of Oscar Wilde. New York: Cosmopolitan
          Book Corporation, 1916, pp.601-615

---

People who mean well always do badly. They are like the ladies who wear
clothes that don't fit them in order to show their piety. Good intentions
are invariably ungrammatical. [p.105] . . . Good intentions have been
the ruin of the world. The only people who have achieved anything
have been those who have had no intentions at all. [p.116]
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Sebastian Melmoth. London: Arthur L. Humphreys, 1905, pp.105,116
          a collection of various aphorisms published shortly after Wilde's death,
          some apparently original, others quoted from Wilde's previous works;
          "Sebastian Melmoth" was a nom de plume Wilde used after
          his release from Reading Gaol in 1897
              parody:
                  Amarinth: People who mean well always do badly. Good intentions
                      are invariably ungrammatical.
              Reggie: Good intentions have been the ruin of the world. I have
                      no intentions.
                        --Frank J. Morlock (born 1941). The Green Carnation, a play
                            adapted from the novel by Robert Hichens [Robert Smythe Hichens]
                            (1864-1950), New York: D. Appleton and Company, 1894, intended as
                            a satire of Oscar Wilde's work

---

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Children of the Poets", The Pall Mall Gazette,
          14 October 1886

---

The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Lord Arthur Savile's Crime, in Lord Arthur Savile's Crime
          & Other Stories. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co., 1891,
          spoken by Lady Windermere

---

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except
genius. . . . Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives
the dreamer.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, pp.56-57

---

Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          An Ideal Husband. first produced at Haymarket Theeatre, London,
          3 January 1895, Act I, spoken by Mrs Cheveley
              variant: Questions are never indiscreet. Only answers are.
                  --Ismar David (1910-1996). quoted in Helen Brandshaft & David Pankow.
                      The Work of Ismar David. Rochester NY: RIT Cary Graphic Arts
                      Press, 2005, p.13

---

Several plays have been written lately
that deal with the monstrous injustice
of the social code of morality at the
present time. It is indeed a burning shame
that there should be one law for men and
another law for women. I think there
should be no law for anybody.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          in Gilbert Burgess. "An Ideal Husband at the Haymarket Theatre:
          A Talk With Oscar Wilde", in The Sketch, 9 January 1895,
          quoted in The Bookman, Volume 33 Number 4, June 1911, p.377

---

Society . . . has gone to the dogs; a lot of damned nobodies talking
about nothing.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          An Ideal Husband. first produced at Haymarket Theeatre, London,
          3 January 1895, Act I, spoken by Lord Caversham

---

Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer
than another.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        "On the Great Creed of Inaction", in The Prose of Oscar
        Wilde. New York: Cosmopolitan Book Corporation, 1916, p.341

---

Society, as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has
none to offer; but Nature, whose sweet rains fall on unjust and just
alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret
valleys in whose silence I may weep undisturbed. She will hang the
night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the darkness without
stumbling, and send the wind over my footprints so that none may
track me to my hurt: she will cleanse me in great waters, and with
bitter herbs make me whole.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Sorrow remarries us to God.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905; the quote was attributed by Wilde to Dante Alighieri
          [Durante degli Alighieri](c.1265-1321), unsourced

---

That is the charm about Christ, when all is said: he is just like a work
of art. He does not really teach one anything, but by being brought into
his presence, one becomes something.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

There are only two ways of becoming civilized: one is by being
cultured, the other is by being corrupt.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 13, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton

---

There are two ways of disliking art, Ernest. One is to dislike it.
The other, to like it rationally. For Art, as Plato saw, and not without
regret, creates in listener and spectator a form of divine madness. . . .
There is nothing sane about the worship of beauty. It is too splendid
to be sane. Those of whose lives it forms the dominant note will always
seem to the world to be pure visionaries.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book.
Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
          London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from the Preface; also found in
          Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.
          New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.2

---

There were Christians before Christ. For that we should be grateful.
The unfortunate thing is that there have been none since.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without
being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings
in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.
They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
          London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from the Preface

---

Though our modern Puritans cannot destroy a beautiful thing, yet,
by means of their extraordinary prurience, they can almost taint
beauty for a moment. It is chiefly, I regret to say, through
journalism that such people find expression. I regret it because there is
much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions
of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the
community.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist, With Some Remarks on the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood,
          McIlvaine and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

To have a capacity for a passion and not to realise it is to make
oneself incomplete and limited.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

To live is the rarest thing in the world.
Most people exist, that is all.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Soul of Man Under Socialism". Fortnightly Review,
          Volume 49 Number 290, February 1891, pp.292-319 (also: London:
          A.L. Humphreys, 1912)

---

To lose one parent . . . may be regarded as a misfortune;
To lose both looks like carelessness.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Importance of Being Earnest, a Trivial Comedy for Serious People.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 4 February 1895, Act I,
          spoken by Lady Bracknell

---

To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders. . . . The true mystery of the
world is the visible, not the invisible.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 2, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.37

---

To recognise that the soul of a man is unknowable, is the ultimate
achievement of wisdom. The final mystery is oneself.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Unless one is wealthy there is no use in being a charming fellow. . . .
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Model Millionaire", in Lord Arthur Savile's Crime
          & Other Stories. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co., 1891

---

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman.
          first produced at St James's Theatre, London, 22 February 1892,
          Act III, spoken by Lord Darlington

---

We, in our educational system, have burdened the memory with a load of
unconnected facts, and laboriously striven to impart our
laboriously-acquired language. We teach people how to remember,
we never teach them how to grow.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

What a fuss people make about fidelity! Why, even in love it is purely a
question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will.
Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless
and cannot. [Chapter 2] . . . The people who love only once in their lives
are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their
fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of
imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to
the life of the intellect -- simply a confession of failure. [Chapter 4]
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition
          London: Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, pp.35-40

---

What is truth? In matters of religion, it is simply the opinion
that has survived. . . . In every sphere of life Form is the beginning
of things. . . . The Creeds are believed, not because they are rational,
but because they are repeated.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          "The Critic as Artist: With Some Remarks Upon the Importance of Doing
          Nothing", in Intentions. London: James R. Osgood, McIlvaine
          and Co./New York: Dodd, Mead and Co., 1891, spoken by Gilbert

---

When you really want love you will find it waiting for you.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

While I see that there is nothing wrong in what one does, I see that
  there is something wrong in what one becomes.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          De Profundis, 1897, Epistle to 'Bosie' [Lord Alfred Douglas]
          written while Wilde was in Reading Gaol, published posthumously by
          Robert Ross in 1905

---

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the
curious attractiveness of others.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
        Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young.
        New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.141

---

Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
    By each let this be heard,
Some do it by a bitter look,
    Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
    The brave man with a sword!


Some kill their love when they are young,
    And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
    Some with the hands of Gold;
The kindest use a knife, because
    The dead so soon grow cold.


Some love too little, some too long,
    Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
    And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
    Yet each man does not die.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          [writing as C.3.3. in First Edition]. The Ballad of Reading Gaol I,
          London: Leonard Smithers, Mdcccxcviii, pp.2-3

---

Youth! There is nothing like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of
youth. The only people to whose opinions I listen now with any respect
are people much younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has
revealed to them her latest wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict
the aged. I do it on principle.
     --Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
          The Picture of Dorian Gray. first published in
          Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890; revised edition London:
          Ward, Lock & Co., 1891, from Chapter 19, spoken by Lord Henry Wotton;
          also found in Epigrams - Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the
          Young. New York: Lamb Publishing Co., 1909, p.55

---

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could
produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the
Internet, we know this is not true.
     --Robert Wilensky (born 1951)
        University of California

---

[on conservatives]: They define themselves in terms of what they oppose.
     --George Will [George Frederick Will](born 1941)

---

Tomorrow
Tomorrow's looking grey
A playground always locked
Trains no winning teams
     --Paul Williams (born 1940)
          "Tomorrow", song from Bugsy Malone, 1976 film
          sung by the character Fizzy (voiced by Paul Williams)

---

God gave you a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to run one
at a time.
     --Robin Williams (born 1951)
          Live on Broadway, 2002 HBO television special
          (Many sites claim this comment was made in reference to the Clinton/
          Lewinsky affair; Williams may have used the quote elsewhere, but in the
          2002 HBO special, he was discussing Viagra when this comment was made,
          a couple of minutes before the end of the program)

---

In England if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you
don't have a gun. So if you commit a crime [they'll say]:
"Stop! Or, or I'll say stop again!"
     --Robin Williams (born 1951)
          "Robin Williams: Live at the Met", TV special, 1986

---

To be, or what?
     --Robin Williams (born 1951)
          An Evening at the Met, 1986 stand-up comedy performance,
          impersonating Sylvester Stallone doing Hamlet

---

God requireth not a uniformity of religion to be enacted and enforced in
any civil state.
     --Roger Williams (1603-1684)
          "A Plea for Religious Liberty", from The Bloudy Tenent of
          Persecution, for Cause of Conscience, 1644

---

Life is all memory except for the one present moment that goes
by so quick you can hardly catch it going.
     --Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)

---

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
     --Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)
          usually quoted unsourced, though Huntington Hartford (in Art or
          Anarchy?, New York: Doubleday, 1964, p.6) notes that this line
          was delivered at the beginning of the first act of Williams' play,
          Camino Real (1953), referring to the play itself

---

Snatching the eternal out of the desperately fleeting
is the great magic trick in human existence.
     --Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)
          "Concerning the timeless world of a play".
          The New York Times, 14 January 1951

---

Time is the longest distance between two places.
     --Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)

---

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
replaces it with.
     --Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)

---

The deluded are always filled with absolutes.
The rest of us have to live with ambiguities.
     --Walter Jon Williams (born 1953)
          Aristoi. New York:Tor Books, 1992

---

Anyone can hate. it costs to love.
     --John Williamson (born 1937)
          unsourced

---

Movies don't make psychopaths. Movies make psychopaths better.
     --Kevin Williamson (born 1965)
          Scream, 1996 film, spoken by Billy (Skeet Ulrich)

---

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves: "Who am I . . . to be brilliant, gorgeous,
    talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
    other people won't feel insecure around you.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people
    the right to do the same.
     --Marianne Williamson
          A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in
            Miracles'. New York: HarperCollins, 1992, Chapter 7, Section 3
          quoted by Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela (born 1918) in his speech
          given at his inauguration as President of South Africa, 1994

---

Keep piling up enough tomorrows and you'll find
you've collected nothing but a heap of empty
yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I want
to get as much out of today as possible.
     --Meredith Willson (1902-1984)
          The Music Man, first produced at the Broadway Theatre, New York City,
          19 December 1957
          spoken by Professor Harold Hill (Robert Preston)

---

If I can write, before I die
One line of purest poetry;
Or crystallize, for all to share
A thought unique, a moment rare
Within one sentence, clear and plain --
Then I shall not have lived in vain.
     --Mary Wilson [Gladys Mary Wilson, Baroness Wilson of Rievaulx](born 1916)
          Selected Poems. London: Hutchinson, 1970, p.15

---

United


Oh that we might, for one brief hour
Forget that we are bound apart,
And lie within each other's arms
Mouth pressed on mouth, and heart on heart.


For just one hour from all our life
To sink unchained through passion's deep
And, cast upon the farther shore
To lie entwined in tender sleep!
     --Mary Wilson [Gladys Mary Wilson, Lady Wilson of Rievaulx](born 1916)
          Selected Poems. London: Hutchinson, 1970, p.20

---

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because
thorns have roses.
     --Tom Wilson [Thomas Albert Wilson](1931-2011)
          "Ziggy", syndicated newspaper comic strip, 1971-1987, continued
          from 1987 by Tom Wilson Jr

---

Political Correctness (n.): The apotheosis of mediocrity; the unholy
union of conformity and hypocrisy; the substitution of one form of
bigotry with another; a national epidemic of euphemism transmitted
by media, public institutions, and pressure groups that outlaws any
language or behavior that might possibly be construed as offensive to
anyone, anywhere, at any time.
     --Jon Winokur (born 1947)
          Encyclopedia Neurotica. New York: St Martin's Press, 2005, p.176

---

Support groups have been criticized for promoting self-pity, and
indeed there are now support groups for victims of support groups.
     --Jon Winokur (born 1947)
          Encyclopedia Neurotica. New York: St Martin's Press, 2005, p.242

---

I think -- therefore I'm single.
     --Lizz Winstead (born 1961)

---

After three times, I realize marriage is not for me. Not for me. I love
to get married, you know, but I don't like to be married.
You go away on a honeymoon, you have a great time, you come
home, they want to come in the house!
     --Shelley Winters [Shirley Schrift](1920-2006)
          An Evening at the Improv, TV series, 15 June 1982

---

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things
American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic,
tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
     --Shelley Winters [Shirley Schrift](1920-2006)
          quoted on actress's IMDb page, unsourced

---

Where do you go to get anorexia?
     --Shelley Winters (1920-2006)

---

It is right to question standards but wrong to assume there aren't any.
     --Jeanette Winterson (born 1959)

---

Why be happy when you could be normal?
     --Jeanette Winterson (born 1959)
          title of her 2011 book (New York: Grove Press)

---

What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?


As I walk this land with broken dreams
I have visions of many things
Love's happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion,


Refrain:
What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe.
     --William Witherspoon (1936-2005)
        with Paul Riser (born 1943) and James Anthony Dean (1943-2006)
          performed by Jimmy Ruffin (1936-2014), released by Motown in 1966

---

Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten die Grenzen meiner Welt.
[The limits of my language means the limits of my world.]
variant: All I know is what I have words for.
     --Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)
          Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. London: Routledge & Kegan Paul (English
          translation by Charles Kay Ogden), 1922, Section 5.6

---

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not
in order to enjoy ourselves.
     --Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)

---

Nothing is done until nothing is done.
     --Richard A. Woehlke (born mid-XXth century)
          quoted in Paul Dickson. The Official Rules New York: Dell, 1979/
          New York: Dover, 2013, p.377

---

You hit me! Picard never hit me.
     --Robert Hewitt Wolfe (born 1964)
          Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, TV series, "Q-Less", 1993
          spoken by Q (John de Lancie)

---

Over the past ten years, for the first time, intelligence had
become socially correct for girls.
     --Tom Wolfe [Thomas Kennerly Wolfe Jr](born 1931)
          The Bonfire of the Vanities. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 1978

---

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a
violent psychopath who knows where you live.
    variant: Write documentation as if whoever reads it is a
        violent psychopath who knows where you live.
     --John F. Woods (born mid-XXth century)
          sig file appended to post by John F. Woods dated 9/25/91, retrieved
          from groups.google.com 2014.02.01;
          quoted in Prof. Karl Lieberherr's Course Syllabus, CSG111 Style Guide,
          Fall 2007; some bloggers dispute the Woods attribution for this quote,
          attributing it (or similar versions) instead to Martin Golding;
          Peter Langston (born 1946), in his signature to a posting on
          http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1995/1995AHF.html dated 21 Feb 95,
          attributes the variant above to Steve English

---

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes well out of it.
     --Virgina Woolf (1882-1941)

---

Never have I read such tosh.
     --Virgina Woolf (1882-1941)
        referring to Ulysses (1922), by James Joyce

---

What could be more charming than a boy before he has begun to
cultivate his intellect? He is beautiful to look at; he gives
himself no airs; he understands the meaning of art and literature
instinctively; he goes about enjoying his life and making other
people enjoy theirs.
     --Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)
          Monday or Tuesday. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1921
          Story #2: "A Society"

---

Nothing risque, nothing gained.
     --Alexander Woollcott [Alexander Humphreys Woollcott](1887-1943)

---

Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.
     --Alexander Woollcott [Alexander Humphreys Woollcott](1887-1943)

---

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began,
So is it now I am a man,
So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man:
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
     --William Wordsworth (1770-1850)
        written in 1802, published in Poems, in Two Volumes. London: Longman,
        Hurst, Rees & Orme, 1807; Wordsworth used the last three lines as an epigraph
        to "Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood",
        1803-06, also published in the same 1807 volume

---

A reasoning, self-sufficing thing, An intellectual all-in-all!
     --William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

---

Shades of the prison-house begin to close
Upon the growing boy,
But he beholds the light, and whence it flows,
He sees it in his joy.
     --William Wordsworth (1770-1850)
          "Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood",
          1803-06. published in Poems, in Two Volumes. London: Longman,
          Hurst, Rees & Orme, 1807

---

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
     --Steve Wozniak (born 1950)

---

The love of a man for a woman, waxes and wanes as doth the moon: But
the love of brother for brother is constant as the stars, And endureth
like the word of the Prophet.
     --Percival Christopher Wren (1875-1941)
          Beau Ideal. London: John Murray, 1929, Chapter XIII
          used as the foreword in Beau Geste, 1939 film; Wren and the film
          quoted the saying as an "Arab[ian] Proverb" and it was seen as
          such often thereafter, but no earlier references to the saying could be found;
          a similar idea is found in Montaigne's essay on Friendship, as discussed
          by Oscar Wilde in "The Portrait of Mr W.H.", Blackwood;s
          Magazine, 1889, also: New York: Mitchell Kennerley, 1921; and in Edgar
          Allan Poe (John Neal, Editor. "Unpublished Poetry", in Yankee
          and Boston Literary Gazette, December 1829, p.295): There can be no tie
          more strong than that of brother for brother; the idea usually is assumed
          to symbolise friendship, comradeship, as much as blood-brotherhood

---

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his
clients to plant vines.
     --Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)

---

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
     --Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)

---

The truth is more important than the facts.
     --Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)

---

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car
keys . . . and the building started up. So I took it out for a drive.
A cop pulled me over for speeding. He asked me where I
live . . . "Right here."
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.
I hit a bookmark.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house
and four people died.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

Some people think George is weird because he has sideburns behind his
ears. I think George is weird because he has false teeth with braces on them.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

Someone sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo of
the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here."
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to
tip over? Well, that's how I feel all the time.
     --Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)

---

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering
is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is
a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
     --Bill Wulf [William Allan Wulf](born 1939)

---

The continuous revision of history to suit the insights or prejudices
of the present is craven and nefarious - an enterprise suited to
characters in "1984" or to demagogues.
     --Philip Wylie [Philip Gordon Wylie] (1902-1971)
          Generation of Vipers. New York: Rinehart & Company, Inc. 1955
          (Revised edition, originally published New York: Farrar & Rinehart, 1942),
          "Introduction [for the 1955 Edition]", p.ix;
          his reference to "1984" is, of course, the landmark dystopian
          allegory by George Orwell (1903-1950) (London: Secker & Warburg, 1949).

---

In loyalty to their kind
They cannot tolerate our minds
In loyalty to our kind
We cannot tolerate their obstructions
     --John Wyndham [John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Beynon Harris](1903-1969)
          The Chrysalids [U.S. title: Re-Birth]. London: Michael Joseph, 1955
          used by Jefferson Airplane in the song "Crown of Creation", 1968
          (contributed to this collection by Dixie Dale Cheek, February 1968)

---

I've had enough of someone else's propaganda. I'm for truth, no matter who
tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it's for or against. I'm a human
being first and foremost, and as such I am for whoever and whatever benefits
humanity as a whole.
     --Malcolm X [Malcolm Little/El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz](1925-1965)
          The Autobiography of Malcolm X. New York: Ballantine/London: Penguin,
          1965; written by Alex Haley (1921-1992) from conversations with Malcolm
          during the two years before his death

---

Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over
their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
     --Malcolm X [Malcolm Little/El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz](1925-1965)

---

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
     --Ξενοκρατης [Xenocrates](c.396-c.314 BCE)

---

Day is Done


Tell me why you are crying my son,
I know you're frightened like everyone.
Is it the thunder in the distance you fear?
Will it help if I stay very near?
I am here.


Chorus:
And if you take my hand my son,
All will be well when the day is done.
And if you take my hand my son,
All will be well when the day is done.
Day is done, Day is done.
Day is done, Day is done.


Do you ask why I'm sighing my son?
You shall inherit what mankind has done.
In a world filled with sorrow and woe,
If you ask me why this is so,
I really don't know.


Chorus.


Tell me why you are smiling, my son,
Is there a secret you can tell everyone?
Do you know more than men who are wise?
Can you see what we all must disguise
Through your loving eyes?


Chorus.
     --Peter Yarrow (born 1938)
        member of the group Peter, Paul and Mary (1960s-1970s)
        from the album Peter, Paul and Mommy, 1969

---

Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven


Had I the heavens embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
     --William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
          No.36 in The Wind Among the Reeds. New York: J. Lane, The Bodley
          Head, 1899

---

Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand.
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
     --William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
          "The Stolen Child", from The Wanderings of Oisin and Other
          Poems. London: Kegan Paulo & Co., 1889
          These lines used in A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, 2001 film written
          and directed by Steven Spielberg, followed by the admonition, "Your
          quest will be perilous, yet the reward is beyond price."

---

I whispered, 'I am too young',
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair,
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.


Oh, love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away,
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
     --William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
          "The Young Man's Song", from Responsibilities and Other Poems. London/New York: Macmillan Company, 1919

---

Some people say there is a God; others say there is no God.
The truth probably lies somewhere in between.
     --William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

---

Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.
O when may it suffice?
     --William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

---

And for adults, the world of fantasy books returns to us the great
words of power which, in order to be tamed, have been excised from our
adult vocabularies. These words are the pornography of innocence,
words which adults no longer dare to use with other adults, and so
we laugh at them and consign them to the nursery, fear masking as
cynicism. These are the words that were forged in the earth, air,
fire, and water of human existence, and the words are:
'Love. Hate. Good. Evil. Courage. Honor. Truth.'
     --Jane Yolen [Jane Hyatt Yolen](born 1939)
          Touch Magic: Fantasy, Faerie and Folklore in the Literature of
          Childhood, "The Mask on the Lapel". New York: Philomel Books,
          1981, p.62

---

"Fairy tales always have a happy ending."
"That depends. . . on whether you are Rumplestiltskin
or the Queen."
     --Jane Yolen [Jane Hyatt Yolen](born 1939)
          Briar Rose. New York: Tor Books, 1992

---

The will to win is worthless without the will to prepare to win.
     --Fielding H. Yost (1871-1946)
        college football coach, quoted by Bennie Oosterbaan in Irving Crump,
        "Michigan's Oosterbaan", Boys' Life, November 1950, p.31
            parody: The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.
            quote and parody often attributed to Reggie Jackson (born 1946)

---

My father was the town drunk. Usually that's not so bad,
but New York City?
     --Henny Youngman [Henry Youngman](1906-1998)
          quoted in Jon Winokur. Fathers. New York: Penguin Group/Dutton,
          1993, p.139 (following variant quoted on allmanbrothersband.com/)
              variant, attributed to Rodney Dangerfield [Jacob Rodney Cohen]
                  (1921-2004): It was rough growing up. My father was the town drunk.
                  We lived in New York City.

---

The Jews are a frightened people. Nineteen centuries of Christian love have
broken their nerves.
     --Israel Zangwill (1864-1926)

---

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!
     --Emiliano Zapata [Emiliano Zapata Salazar](1879-1919)

---

Don't eat the yellow snow.
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)
          title of single from the album Apostrophe (1974)

---

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of
the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to
support their own existence.
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)

---

I think love lyrics [in pop romantic songs. ballads] have contributed
to the general aura of bad mental health in America. Love lyrics
create expectations which can never be met in real life, and so the kid
who hears these tunes doesn't realize that that kind of love doesn't
exist. If he goes out looking for it, he's going to be a kind of love
loser all his life. Where do you get your instructions about love?
Your mother and father don't say, "Now, son, now, daughter, here's
how love works." They don't know, so how can they tell
their kids?
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)
          Interview in Jon Winokur. The Big Curmudgeon. New York: Black
          Dog & Leventhal, 2007, p.356

---

Kill Ugly Radio
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)
          words appearing in album artwork proposed by Zappa, rejected by MGM,
          for the album Absolutely Free (Mothers of Invention, 1967),
          according to Neil Slaven. Electric Don Quixote: The Definitive Story Of
          Frank Zappa. London: Omnibus Press, 1997/2009

---

The meek shall inherit nothing.
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)

---

There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
     --Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)
          lyric in "Heavenly Bank Account", from the 1981 album You Are
          What You Is

---

I trusted him like a brother. That is to say, not at all.
     --Roger Zelazny [Roger Joseph Zelazny](1937-1995)
          The Guns of Avalon. Garden City NY: Doubleday, 1972
          spoken by Corwin, Prince of Amber

---

I'm gonna cut you a break today. So why don't you make like a tree,
and get outta here.
     --Robert Zemeckis [Robert Lee Zemeckis](born 1951)
        and Bob Gale [Michael Robert Gale](born 1951)
          Back to the Future, 1985 film
          spoken by Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson)

---

Truth is the only thing to strive for. Only when this is
achieved can you spend (enjoy) the rest of the time with
one you love. And this is worth purgatory.
    variant: Truth is the only thing to live and die for. It's worth
        purgatory. Only then can you share life with someone you love.
     --Mai Zetterling (1925-1994)
        Nattlek [Night Games], 1966 film
        spoken by Jan (Keve Hjelm)[English subtitles]

---

I'll sleep when I'm dead.
     --Warren Zevon [Warren William Zevon](1947-2003)

---

Your attitude determines your attitude.
     --Zig Ziglar [Hilary Hinton Ziglar](1926-2012)

---

Zimmerman's Law of Complaints:
Nobody notices when things go right.
     --M. Zimmerman
          earliest source found: The Washingtonian, Volume 14, 1978, p.155;
          author not further identified

---

Civil disobedience, that's not our problem. Our problem is that people are
obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and
stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are
obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while
the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem.
     --Howard Zinn (1922-2010)

---

There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing
innocent people.
     --Howard Zinn (1922-2010)

---

Fresh oats cost more than used oats,
even though the used oats have only passed through the horse one time.
     --Lou Zocchi (born c.1940)

---

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing
without work.
     --Émile Zola (1840-1902)

---

La vérité est en marche et rien ne l'arrétera.
[Truth is on the march and nothing can stop it.]
     --Émile Zola (1840-1902)
          "J'accuse . . .!", letter in L'Aurore, 13 January 1898

---

---